A New Twist on An old Story!

By Stanelle

There has been a very bright light in the sky tonight. The sixty-five year old went round to all of the windows and pulled the blinds down early. We had finished redding up the house and outening the lights early in the even.

About ten o'clock, we all settled in for bed. Mr. Miller had brought us home some good fresh Jersey cow milk to make butter with for breakfast, and I separated it,..shook it, and salted the resulting butter which comes from the rich cream that comes from Jersey milk. We would have fresh butter with our hot biscuits in the morning for breakfast.

Once we had all settled in for the night,...I heard a shout from outside the house. One of our neighbor men was a'hollerin' for some reason!

For us,..my family,..it was late,..about ten PM. We are not fancy folk nor do we sit up all hours like past eleven PM of the even or past midnight. The ten year old's classmates at school are scandalized if she talks about what she watches on television and they are scandalized tyhat she even posseses such an "instrument of the devil" as a television set. And the sixty-five year old is just one generation removed from making me wear a head covering and using one horse transportation. We try to fit into the neighborhood by keeping decent hours..i..e..we are in bed by ten or eleven o'clock and we never sleep past seven in the morning.

Anyways, we had all settled in for the night when we heard the neighbor man's screech, "Fire! Fire!! Fire at the lumberyard!"

If that was not enough to shake my poor family out of bed,..there was the brightest flash of light that even I had ever seen that came flashing through our bedroom windows. Such was the intensity of that light that it was brighter than any other lights that the sixty-five year old had seen in all of his sixty-five years..or so he told me later!!

I swallowed hard and climbed out of bed.

"Stay down!" I whispered to the sixty-five year old,..who was now hiding UNDER the bed!"

"I'm in my closet, and I'm not coming out!" yelped the ten year old's muffled voice from her room down the hall.

"I'm going out!" I growled as I stood up and headed for my chest of drawers, "If I'm not back in here by mornin'...."

"If you ain't back in here by mornin,"...then you ain't comin' back!" spluttered the sixty-five year old as he observed me dressing from his position on the floor and further back under the bed!

I picked up my 22 rifle, some ammo, and a flashlight and lit out across the backyard and into the cow pasture behind our house to see what was going on. Zeke Miller's lumberyard, which I assumed was the lumberyard which was on fire as it was the closest lumberyard for 'bout two miles'round here, was just a quarter mile away..through the pasture.

When I had climbed through the barbed wire of the fence, I saw the"very bright light" give a flash a little more than halfway 'cross the cow pasture from me. I set my 22 and carefully made my way in the darkness towards that "burnin' beacon on the near horizon!"

Despite my extreme care in stepping about in the darkness,..I slipped on a cow patty and landed on a body! It was a dead human body so I found..as I felt it's cold skin whilst I scrambled back to my feet.

Then,..I slipped again on the same damned cow patty and landed on top of the "stiff" again!! That "dead stiff' was definitely a stiff 'a'cause it was COLD and stiff..as I discovered as I landed on top of it!!

As Mr. Miller, the owner of the cow pasture,..was not in the habit of keeping dead human bodies in his cow pasture, I knew that the "stiff' did not belong there!! Mr. Miller's cows would certainly give sour milk if he was in the habit of keeping dead human bodies in his cow pasture!!

I gulped and pointed the light of my flashlight down on the dead face. it was the face of a man,..but a delicate and beautiful face! He,..if this man was a "he' was a very good looking corpse!! He was one damned fine looking corpse!!

"Why?" I moaned to myself, "Why do all of the really good looking guys around here have to be either Old Order Amish or dead?"

Then,..the Dead Man..opened his eyes!!

Under the beam of the flashlight, the Dead Man not only opened his eyes, but said to me, "Have you seen a burning moth go down? It was piloted by a love slave, named Xev, who is dressed in a lizard skin."

"I am heading towards a bright light, that went down about a quarter of a mile from here!" I stammered out to this "talking corpse,..(One does not often meet "talking corpses" in back cow pastures!),.."Could that be your aircraft?"

I looked down at the corpse-like body, which had spoken to me quite clearly. I hoped that the night air was not getting to me! Night air is still rumoured,..in these parts,..to affect the brain!! Holding a conversation with a corpse as I was..could be direct proof of the fetidness of night air on one's brain!!

"High up in your atmosphere," the Dead Man annouced to my stupfaction,.."We were struck by an unleased flow of electrons. The right side of the moth was blasted and I fell out!! The moth flew on, but it was burning and could not have flown much further!!"

"How far up were you when all of this happened?" I asked quite doubtfully.

"The moth was in the belt of radiation,..which surrounds your planet." was his reply.

"Whooooooah,..boy! Haw me 'round a bit!" I snorted at the Dead Guy, "If you fell out of the aircraft near the Van Allen Radiation belt,..you would have come down so hard..that you would have left a crater and your bod would be splattered to pieces when you landed!! You would be dead!!"

I stated all of this with a certain smugness.

The corpse sat up, glanced at me quickly, and clicked its' right wrist with its' left and and raised it as if he were going to use it as a weapon or something of that catagory! From the faint pouty expression on the Dead man's face,..I got the distinct impression that unpleasant consequences would follow if that wrist were to be pointed at me.

Then,..just as suddenly, the "pout' fainted from the Dead man's face.
He lowered his primed wrist.

"The Dead do not get annoyed!!" quoth he.

"No," I blurted out, "The Dead are just dead! Hey man! Are you sure that someone didn't just give you some bad cider down at Kookoo's Cafe in town and you came down here just to sleep it off?"

My jibe didn't shake the Dead Man's cool.

"I am dead. I am a Divine Assassin. I was decarbonized. When the Dead are made into Divine Assassins, they do not splatter upon impact with the dirt of a Type Thirteen Planet." He stated this quite matter of factly and quite blankly as if he were giving out the time of day, "And I did leave a crater in the middle of that cellulose dumping ground where my body impacted.
I came down on a pole, filled with wire of a type used to transport electrons!! This has knocked me slightly out of alighment, but my systems are slowly repairing themselves.
With your assistance with my rods,..the repairs could progress..more quickly...but nevermind, for the moment.
As I asked you before, have you seen a gigantic burning moth,..suitable for space transport,..piloted by a love slave,..who is dressed in a cluster lizard skin?""

"No!" I muttered to myself as much as to the Dead man, "but if I didn't have to find the source of that bright light, which scared the hell out of my family,..I'd be on MY way to kookoo's Cafe to get a hard cider!!"

Talking to a corpse in a back cow pasture is not easy on one's nerves and I said as much to myself as I did to the Dead Man, "I wonder if this is all not just the result of such a spree..!!"

"The fire seems to be burning hotter from the changing colors in it's infra-spectum!" the corpse broke up my musings as he gazed at the flames, which were shooting up in the direction of the lumberyard and visible a quarter mile away from our spot in the pasture!!

With the distinct feeling of raising alarm, I asked the "self-styled Divine Assassin,.."Did you just walk off and leave innocent people to be burned to death in a fire that you might have started in the first place? After all,..you said that you were an..assassin!!"

The Dead Man looked in the direction of the lumber yard. Flames were shooting up over the horizon.

"Did you just walk off and leave any innocent people, who might have been working there, to be burned to death?" I asked him with increasing urgency. The divine-looking corpse glared at me with narrowed eyes and i noticed that his lips had noticibly tightened.

"Are you certain that you have no knowledge of the reputation of Divine Assassins?" he responded to my question with a question.

"Hell no!" I squawked back at him, "I'm just a'wantin to know if I should leave and tell my son to call the 911 number and give them more information about how to rescue someone at that lumber yard,..if you have left um to burn to death!"

The look that I got from the talking corpse at that comment told me that in another moment,.if I didn't change my line of conversation with him,..I was going to definitely find out just how he used that weapon thingie on his right wrist.

Between tightened narrowed lips and with a face made as blank as possible, he tersely informed me, "I am Kai, Last of the Brunnin G,..and I would have had no motivation to leave any residents of your Type Thirteen Planet..to be burned alive at the cellulose dumping ground. There was no one at the cellulose dumping ground, who could have been injured as there was no one there. At ant rate,..I would not have left any living being to be incinerated in the fire."

Sirens began to sound so loudly that evenI could make them out. Flashing lights in the distance told me that someone had caled the Fire Departments, and the Emergency Rescue Squads.