Written for comment_fic on livejournal
Prompt was for A/E getting caught
The first time they got caught, they were trapped in a crate together. Usually they were careful. Usually they waited until they were between jobs. But there was no point in wasting the close quarters.
When Parker had broken in to free them, they hadn't heard her manipulation of the lock. They did, however, hear her giggling. They also heard her say, "Found 'em Nate! And I really mean it, they're definitely found out," followed by numerous more giggles.
The second time they got caught was all his fault. According to both of them. The rest of the team, as well as the mark, walked in on them while they where (thankfully) just getting started. On the mark's desk. They had managed to pass off the indiscretion as more proof that Nathan and Sophie's 'realtors' office' had an employee loyalty problem. But nobody was all that happy with them.
Eliot said, "It's Hardison's fault. He wouldn't stop flirting."
Hardison said, "It's not flirting. It's just being my usual charming self."
"He put his tongue in my ear while we were supposed to be going through files!"
"What! That is - that is outrageous. And besides, Eliot was the one trying to get in my pants. Yeah, and don't think I don't know that you all saw it. Well, I hope you enjoyed the view, people, because that's the last of it you'll get to gaze on. I am not a piece of meat!"
"Now you're flirting with them!" Eliot yelled.
"Nah, see, just because I am not punching them with my fists, doesn't mean that I am flirting. See it's called talking. With your words, Eliot."
"There's only one thing your mouth can do that's not totally worthless, and believe me, it's not talking," Eliot shot back, "Which brings me back to the original point. That this is your fault."
"Nah, this is your fault, 100%. Seriously, who on this green earth would turn down oral sex from Eliot on the mark's desk?" Alec asked.
Nate started to raise his hand but Sophie elbowed him and said, "I'm pretty sure that was a rhetorical question, Nathan."
Alec and Eliot continued to bicker until Nate interrupted, "It's MY fault for trusting you two to be professional when you're in a relationship. So you might have to choose: your fling or the team?"
"What the hell do you mean fling?" Eliot yelled, as Alec held him back.
"Oh, I see," Nate said, feigning surprise unconvincingly, "Well, if you're more than just a fling, then maybe you should tell each other that. Then you wouldn't have to instigate these ridiculous squabbles to test each other."
Eliot and Alec looked at each other and silently acknowledged how much it stung when Nathan had (quite manipulatively) called them a fling. They were saved from public apology by Parker, who said, "I agree with you, Nate. It's all your fault."
"What?" Nate said.
"It's your fault. Putting those two alone together is like leaving me alone at a Precious Gems expo. Or like telling Eliot to gently transport a wifebeater. Or telling Alec to respect people's online privacy. You would never do those things. You should have known better."
Nathan closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "Fine. Future plans will take into account Alec and Eliot's .. umm... their, um..."
"Arrangement," Eliot said.
"Animal magnetism," Hardison corrected.
"Hot naked asses," Parker suggested.
"Their personal quirks," Sophie asserted, and then that was that.
The third time they got caught was again by Parker. She ran into the room without knocking, yelling, "Are you ready? Is everything ready?"
At which point she rolled her eyes. And said, "Geez, you guys, you're getting married in like an hour! Couldn't it wait? And now you're going to have to shower, and then you have to get dressed! Geez!"
And then Parker walked out and strode down the hallway, and spoke through her com to Sophie, who was their wedding planner, "Yeah, I found them. They were doing it. Again! And it's not as if it couldn't wait, it's not like they were trying out an interesting position or anything. Seriously, is it because they're getting married? Is it boring to watch married people have sex? Because the other two times I watched as long as they would let me, but this time - it was like YAWN, right?" Naturally, Parker was loud enough so that all the early-arriving guests could easily hear.
"Why is she our maid of honor again?" Eliot asked.
"So she wouldn't steal our rings," Alec answered with a grin, "And she's right about something. We only have a little more time as single men. So we'd better take this to the shower."