Oh my god!! Another fanfiction!!! Okay, so I'm going to say this now. I will not upload on a daily basis. I will upload when I feel like it. I've been in a writing slump, so blah! You should be glad you even got a story out of me. Also, I will take requests. Like a pairing? Tell me. Though I can't guarantee that I'll actually write it. I need inspiration. Or maybe I just hate the paring. Alright, I'm finished. Let's get on with this.

Title: You be the Girl

Pairing: Kakuzu x Hidan

Rating: M for Masked Men.

Warning: Language, sex, masturbation, and slight OOC.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. The only thing here that belongs to me is the actual story. Which, by the way, you better not steal.


"God damnit, what the fuck!?!" Hidan exclaimed, his breath coming out in puffs of white. He glanced around, looking pissed off as usual. He heard footsteps behind him and turned around to see his partner, Kakuzu.

Kakuzu let out a sigh, but no puffs were visible due to the mask over his mouth. "What is it this time?" He asked, glaring at Hidan. There was always something wrong with the mission, whether it was the place, the person, or just the mission in general.

Hidan shot him a look. "Well, it's too fucking cold!" He exclaimed, angry as always. "And I'm totally not prepared! I mean, at least you've got a hat…thing." He said, his face twisting into a look somewhere caught between slight confusion and annoyance.

Kakuzu let out another sigh and glared at his partner some more. "Shouldn't you be loving this? After all, you are a masochist. Maybe you'll get frostbite and your fingers will fall off." He stated plainly as he continued to move forward through the snow. He wanted to make it to the village before morning. That way they could sleep during the day, and then go do their mission during the night. Simple as that.

Hidan shot Kakuzu another look. "That may be true, but it still sucks. I like warm places better." He spoke as if it were obvious.

A sigh of pure annoyance erupted from the scarred man. "Just shut up and get moving." He said, glaring at the masochist.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't order me around you greedy asshole."


Finally, the two men were standing at the edge of town. They couldn't go in without disguises. Their disguises always changed. Usually they were a married couple or a parent and child. Of course, one of them was forced to sleep on the couch or the floor. It was usually Hidan since, as he said, Kakuzu is a greedy asshole.

"So, married couple this time, right?" Hidan asked, glancing at Kakuzu. The man nodded in reply.

"Yep. By the way, you're the girl this time." Suddenly there was a poof and Kakuzu was transformed into pretty much what he would look like with no scars. His skin was the same, his hair was black, his eyes were green, and he had no scars to be seen. A normal man.

"Damn it. I hate being the fucking woman." Hidan growled. But he did the jutsu anyways. He emerged as a woman with long, white hair, pale skin, purple eyes, and a bitchy look on her face. "Come on, let's get a move on!" He exclaimed, sounding somewhat like a teenage girl.

Kakuzu just rolled his eyes and walked into town. Few people had stirred from their homes. Though when one waved, Kakuzu would nonchalantly wave back. He never showed any emotion, as usual. After walking about two blocks or so, they made it to the hotel. The name of the hotel was "Snowy Day Inn." It was almost pure white, looking nearly transparent in the snow.

Upon entering the hotel, the first thing Hidan noticed was how cheap it was. That wasn't a big surprise. Kakuzu was always the cheapest person in Akatsuki. Hidan decided to start walking around while Kakuzu began talking to the man at the front desk. Hidan looked at the plants, the dining area, and checked to see if they had any other things that would interest him. Unfortunately Kakuzu finished up before Hidan could spot anything.

The two men made their way to the room quietly. Upon entering, Hidan quickly dropped his justu, even before the door was fully closed. "Fuck! I hate being the damn woman! Makes me feel fucking girly." He exclaimed, angry.

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and dropped his jutsu, after the door was closed fully, of course. He then removed his Akatsuki cloak and stuffed it into the closed. "This room is pretty warm…" He murmured as he began removing his headband, mask, and hat thing.

Hidan nodded in agreement, then stripped off his Akatsuki cloak and threw it in a corner. He also pulled off his headband and shoes. He had no shirt on since he didn't really like clothes. He was also beginning to take off his pants, but got a shoe in his face instead. "What the fucking hell!?!"

"Keep your pants on. I don't need to see your junk." Kakuzu stated just as he was pulling of his other shoe.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "You're such a pussy. Whatever. Don't care." He said before getting onto the bed and lying face down. It was quiet for about three minutes, other than the occasional sound of movement or things being opened and closed. Then, out of nowhere, Hidan felt something on his back. He pulled out a kunai and spun around, cutting the thing.

A series of small, chopped strings fell onto his stomach. He looked up and saw a rather angry Kakuzu. "Why the hell did you do that?" He asked, sounding angry too.

Hidan grimaced. "Shut up. I thought your creepy sting things were some sort of threat. So, due to my reflexes, I cut them up." He said, shooting him a look.

Kakuzu sighed and shook his head in annoyance. "Whatever, just get off the damn bed and go take your place on the couch." He said, glancing at the couch.

Hidan let out an extremely annoyed grunt and sat up. He grabbed a pillow and started walking over to the couch. Though he had to pause and close all of the curtains. The sun was just starting to rise, and he didn't want to be woken up by the fucking sun. He glanced at Kakuzu. "Hey, asshole, did you put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign up?" He asked, also not wanting to be woken up by housekeeping.

"Yes." Was all Kakuzu said. He then got on the bed, got comfy, and closed his eyes. Hidan glanced at him before putting the pillow down and lying down.

"I fucking hate you…"

"Don't care."


"Mnnn…."

'What the heck was that noise?'

"Kuzu…stab me already…not with a butter knife you fucking idiot!"

Kakuzu's eyes opened slowly. He felt warm. Too warm for just a heater. Why was Hidan's voice so close? Urgh…something was wrong here.

'Who cares? I'm too damn tired anyways.'

"Kuzu!!"

Kakuzu nearly jumped, despite his laying position. His eyes were wide open. Now he knew why something was wrong, because Hidan was laying right next to him!

'How the hell did he get up here? This has never happened before…'

He glanced over at his masochistic partner and grimaced. He was well…to be honest, he looked…sexy. Which was not something Kakuzu would ever want to admit. But the man just…well, god damnit. Hidan was shirtless, his mouth was open in a…very suggestive manner, and, well, there was just something about him.

Kakuzu felt his eye twitch. 'Must…resist any urges!' He thought about this for a second. 'Oh screw it.' Before he could control himself, he found that he was on top of Hidan, his arms on either side of his head.

Unfortunately, the masochist decided to stir from his slumber right then. "Hmmm?" He blinked and looked straight at Kakuzu. A moment passes. "What the fuck!?!"

Suddenly, Kakuzu's strings came out and pinned down Hidan's arms and legs. You know, just being cautious and all. He then leaned down and shoved his tongue in Hidan's mouth. Hidan began to struggle. Then he gained some knowledge and bit Kakuzu's tongue.

Kakuzu pulled away, wiping away the blood that spilled onto his lip. "Huff…huff…what the fuck got into you!?!" Hidan exclaimed. His expression was a mix between anger and embarrassment.

Kakuzu's hand tightened into a fist. He then pushed himself up and got off the bed. "I'm not sure." He said quickly. "Excuse me." He then headed towards the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Hidan sat up, seeing a mere glimpse of his partner as he closed the bathroom door behind him. He ran a hand through his hair, and then felt his face getting really red and couldn't help but hide it in his hands. "What in the world?"

Kakuzu's breath was coming out heavily now. At least he had managed to get into the bathroom. He got in there and found a wall to lean against. Apparently that wasn't enough since he slid down and was sitting on the floor in about three seconds. He had no idea what was wrong with him, and he wasn't too sure he wanted to.

'Crap. I'm hard.' He reached into his pants and wrapped his fingers around his dick. Then he was jerking off to the thought of Hidan. After a few seconds he removed his hands and looked at them. 'When did I become so disgusting?' That was his last thought before he went to wash his hands.


Hidan sat on the bed, feeling too worried. He didn't like being worried. It just…wasn't right. Though that was only because he was never worried, except for now. Kakuzu had gone into the bathroom about three hours ago, and obviously hadn't come out. Actually, Hidan wasn't even sure he was in there anymore…not that he cared.

"AARGH!!! I can't fucking stand this shit anymore! Kakuzu, you asshole! Get out of the fucking bathroom already!!!" He exclaimed as he went over to the door and started banging on it. He yanked on the handle and nearly flew in. The door was unlocked. Great.

Hidan looked around, but Kakuzu wasn't there. All he saw was a tidy bathroom. His hand tightened into a fist and he punched the nearest wall. He was definitely going to get smacked. Especially if this would cost extra. Suddenly, he heard something coming from the main room. He stood up and ran into it. Kakuzu was standing there with a blank expression on.

"Hey…" Hidan said, sounding breathless.

Kakuzu looked up. "Hey. I finished the mission up, so we're going to spend one more night here, and then leave in the morning." He paused. "I'm going to go rent another room…" He said, turning and heading for the door.

"Wait!" Hidan exclaimed. He reached out and grabbed his partners Akatsuki robe.

Kakuzu stopped in his tracks, but didn't dare turn around. "What is it?" He asked, sounding somewhat annoyed.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you do what you did!?!"

"..."

"Fuck! Answer me you fucking asshole!"

Kakuzu turned around and grabbed Hidan's shirt in the front, twisting it slightly and glaring at the man. "Why the hell do you think I did it!?!" He exclaimed, really getting angry.

Hidan's mouth twitched. "How the fuck should I know?"

One of Kakuzu's strings reached forward and pulled his mask down. "It's because I like you!" He exclaimed angrily. His lips then came crashing down onto Hidan's.

This time Hidan didn't even resist. In fact, it seemed like he was more willing than anything. His hands gripped the front of his partners robe and ripped it off, the material falling to their feet as Kakuzu quickly shrugged it off.

"Kuzu!" Hidan moaned when they broke away from the kiss. Kakuzu was now using his strings to remove any articles of unnecessary clothing.

"Where did you pick that up?" Kakuzu asked, his lips now on Hidan's neck.

"Dunno. I made it up." Hidan said. He felt himself suddenly being lifted up and he wrapped his hands around Kakuzu's neck. That wasn't really necessary since his back hit the bed in no time.

"Wow. I had no idea that you had an imagination." Kakuzu said as he reached for Hidan's pants and yanked them down. The masochist jumped slightly, but didn't protest. Kakuzu's fingers found Hidan's shaft and wrapped themselves around it. A moan escaped Hidan's mouth.

"Fuck Kuzu! Stop with the damn foreplay and stick it in me!" Hidan suddenly exclaimed rather loudly.

"Whatever you want." Kakuzu said, a small smirk playing at his lips. He pulled down Hidan's pants some more, then yanked down his own. Then he shifted slightly and thrusted. Hidan bit back a moan/gasp and gripped the covers below him.

Kakuzu pulled out and thrusted again. He then repeated this until he felt something suddenly coming on. He went in for one last thrust and came, just as Hidan did too.

The two men gasped for breath and Kakuzu pulled out. He then laid down on the bed next to his partner.

"Kakuzu?"

"What?"

"Next time, you be the girl."


Oh yeah! It's 1:43 AM, I started this around 9:00 PM, and I'm damned proud of myself! Anyways, please review, and send in requests if you have any. Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! Also, if anybody got that last scentence, high five for remembering!