A/N: Gah! Haven't updated in forever! Why you may ask? Well:

Because of vacation

And a lack of inspiration

After chapter number two

I was stuck like krazy glue

Couldn't write chapter three

'Cause I'ze chillin' by the sea

I realize and apologize

So please don't hate me!

Whew! Poetry is hard…And still big thanks to MoonShoesPotter9! Here's another one of your requests! So I end this super long author's note to begin:

Next Generation: Scorpius Malfoy

"Malfoy, Scorpius!" A blond boy with a smug grin and a cocky air about him strutted towards the front. Hey! Who struts up here?! These little twidgets are supposed to be pacing trenches in the floor! The Sorting Hat continued its internal rant on why children should quake in fear before it. I mean, come on! I'm an accessory that determines your whole friggin' future!

Just as the Hat ended the ranting that becomes of most talking apparel, the boy had straddled the stool and smirked at the Hat like he'd just won an argument. Did that little bastard just smirk at me?! Oh! Oooooh! It is SO ON!! Wait a second…I recognize this little nose picker from somewhere…And the Hat did. Like some kind of distant non-important fuzzy tidbit of knowledge that you learn off of a television game show then give yourself a headache trying to remember later. Malfoy! That's it! He's a freakin' Malfoy!

Unlike the Slytherin House and most purebloods, The Sorting Hat held the Malfoy family in very, very little esteem. More like contempt. Hatred. Disgust. Disgust was mostly because of the family's tendency to overdo the whole hair gel thing, but the basics still apply. They were cocky, arrogant, self absorbed, and...and-GAH! All Slytherin, all the time. Sitting on a shelf for all but one day a year made the Hat hate monotony. And Malfoys were monotony.

The Hat shivered on top of mini-Malfoy's head. Same as all the others. Egotistical and enough hair gel to turn the Hat's nonexistent stomach. Gross. Hmm..let's see what we've got here…Ugh! The Hat almost added the last part out loud. Just like daddy. And grandpa. And every other friggin, motherlickin, toe sucking little sleaze-ball Malfoy before him.

I'm tired of this crap! The Hat was almost back in full-on rant mode…again. It was really tired of this, as described, crap. It could almost smell this boy's future. Slytherin. Find some idiotic yet loyal goons. Suck up to the Head of House. Be the scourge of Gryffindor. Prefect. Head boy. Marry some airhead and produce more little blonde egotists with gel slicked hair. Repeat cycle. Great…

It clicked right then. The cycle begins with…Me! I start the Malfoy cycle! I've created my own monster…..but what I create, I can destroy! The boy continued to smirk up at him, even though a little less smugly. Malfoys were supposed to be sorted on contact. Slytherin always, no doubt, no hesitation. Well, not this time, sonny! Let's make daddy proud! Smirk at this!

"GRYFFINDOR!! Heheheh…"

A/N: A Gryffindor Malfoy?! Impossible! But that's what makes it one of Hogwarts most ridiculous sortings. Reviews are always welcome, as are suggestion for the next sorting. Need ideas folks!! And don't get me wrong, I love the Malfoys. Just need to break the monotony. But they really do use a LOT of hair gel, at least in the movies. Hope this was long enough to make up for the slight hiatus. Prolly not, but oh well! Oh man! Two long notes in one chapter! Must have missed ya'll. Let me know if you missed me!