A/N: Happy Birthday DK. I dedicate this to you lol! :) Oh yeah, um, I threw rosters out the window. I'm just using guys I wanna use so pretend I'm Vince McMahon and I stuck all these guys on the same roster for my own dirty purposes. LOL!

Secret Sexer

"I'm so brilliant, I amaze myself." Adam grinned as he sauntered into the locker room, bobbling his head cockily and snapping his gum. This idea of his was sure to be total win. He'd thought it up during an ongoing bout of extreme boredom. Adam had always been known for his crazy antics, he was always up for doing something insane, and anyone knew if they were hanging out with him they were sure to have a great time, and probably get in trouble with Vince, if not the law, when doing so. Lately however, he's been having a "fun" drought. He'd tagged along with groups going bar hopping, late night skinny dipping in the hotel pool, a movie here or there, but nothing very note worthy or out of the ordinary. What he had in mind was going to change things. He pushed the door to the locker room open and silently hoped that he'd get a good group of guys to go along with his venture.

"Oh no." Christian groaned when he looked up to see Edge walking towards everyone. "That look on your face is one I know well." The blond smirked, shaking his head. "It means trouble."

"That is so not me." Adam put on a mock innocent face that drew snorts and laughter from the others.

"So what is it this time Copeland?" Jericho asked, taking a break from singing into his comb. He leaned against a locker and boredly ran the comb through his bleached hair.

"Eh, you guys ever heard of 'Secret Santa'?" Adam asked, propping his foot up on the bench and looking around the room. Most of them knew what it was, but for the few who didn't he explained. "Alright you bunch of chump-stains…" He popped his gum. "Secret Santa is a Christmas game where a group of people all put their names into a hat, and each person draws a name, then you secretly leave a gift for the person you drew. Get it?"

"You want us to do Secret Santa in the middle of July?" Glen squinted at the young blonde who only rolled his eyes.

"Oh no, this is a lot better…but it's the same concept." He paused, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, bobbling his head like one of those dash board dolls. "It's called 'Secret Sexer'."

"Leave it to Copeland." Mark chuckled wringing his wet auburn hair.

There were a few laughs and snorts for others, a few guys immediately left the room, obviously wanting no part in whatever this thing was.

"Here's how it'll go. Anyone who wants in will put their name and a sexual desire or fetish down on these Post-It notes." He waved the neon pieces of paper as evidence. "Get creative and kinky folks, any fuckin' thing you want, write it next to your name. I'll put 'em in a hat…" Adam turned to Cena who was standing near him and snatched his hat from his head. "You all draw from the hat and make that persons wish come true. Got it? So, anyone up for it?"

A flurry of conversation buzzed through the room. Some more guys left, but there were a good number who stayed, and eagerly dug through their bags for pens as Adam passed around the Post-It notes along with Cena's hat. Soon the hat had made it back to Adam. It was overflowing with folded scraps of paper. Adam put his name in last and gave the papers a little toss with his fingers like he was making some sort of obscene salad. As he did he looked around at the guys who had decided to play the game: Jericho, Matt, Jeff, Cody, Ted, Randy, Shawn, Batista, Cena, Christian, Mark, Glen, Miz, Morrison, CM Punk, Layfield, Rey, Bourne, Kozlov, Dolph, Swagger, and of course himself. This was going to be fucking great! As long as I don't end up with JBL. Adam thought as he gave the papers a final mix-up.

"Alright pervs, line up."

All the names had been drawn and most of the guys had cleared out of the locker room, save Chris and Morrison who always took the longest.

"Who'd you get?" Chris asked dumping more gel onto his hair.

"Don't you know the meaning of the word 'secret'?" Morrison watched Chris as he spiked his hair with disgusting amounts of product. Chris just shrugged a shoulder and grabbed his comb again, singing 'You Sexy Thang!' into it. Morrison tuned him out and let his hand stray to his pocket where his slip of paper was. Jeff Hardy…what a strange guy. John peered into the mirror and ran his tongue over his teeth. He shouldn't have been surprised that the Enigma liked fangs. I'm going to be the sexiest vampire that little slut has ever seen. With a creepy laugh, John shouldered his bag and left Chris doing the moonwalk in the restroom mirror.

Okay, I made this short because it's just an intro. I'm eager to see what you all think of the concept. I know I have other fics going but I think I need some time away from them. I swear on Jericho's sacred man-package that I WILL get back to my other fics and finish them. Most of them are heavy topics and I've been feeling overwhelmed with them.

The exception is the co-authored fic with Dark Kaneanite, which I love to death…*shameless plug* Its Jericho/Matt or Matticho called "A Melding of Bodies and a Mending of The Heart." Check it out sometime we'd love to see what you think. Anyway as I was saying before I interrupted myself, I need a break from my other fics. Smut to the rescue! This is going to be just smut with a bunch of people. I literally dumped names in a hat and drew them out so the pairings may be anything and everything, some might even be pretty off the wall lol. Don't worry I'll make their kinks interesting as I can and I'll try my best to make even the oddest pairings hot. So, be ready O-Lovely readers. :)

I'm going to have the next chapter up today and it will be hot!!

Stick around if you can and maybe drop me a line! Thanks!