A/N: Heh thought I should update this, but only because of the reviews I got :p Thanks for those! This is just a short chapter, but the action should kick off again soonish. Just curious though, would you like this to be quite a short story that ends in a couple of chapters, or a longer and more dramatic one - more like the way Shiny Happy Psychos went?


Five:

The Realisation

Kirby wasn't having a particularly good morning. He had failed the pop quiz in English, he stepped in something gross and sticky that totally screwed up his new shoes, and Mr Burton caught him skipping football practice and made him do twelve laps of the football field. Then to top in all off the hot water was out in the guy's shower room, so he put himself through the misery of an ice cold shower. He could have easily waited until he got to the dorm to shower, but he was avoiding the dorm.

For obvious reasons.

The football field was empty, mainly because lunchtime and everyone was either braving Edna's casserole or venturing into town for something that wouldn't give them gut rot. Kirby didn't have an appetite though, and basically couldn't face potentially being in the same room as Trent, Jimmy and Derby. He was quite sure if he was faced with all three of them then he would have some kind of episode. Probably end up making an idiot of himself in front of the whole school. That was the last thing he needed.

So he sat on the bleachers and stared blankly across the vast empty field, wondering what the hell he was going to do with the rest of his day. He wasn't going to class. It wasn't like it was important anyway, it was only chemistry. Dr Watts probably wouldn't even notice that he was missing. He needed something to cheer him up. Maybe he could head into town and get some new shoes…?

That sounded good. Shoes always cheered Kirby up. Although he already owned all the shoes in all the stores in Bullworth. Maybe he could hop on the bus and head into the city? It would get him away from this dump for a while and the city had the most incredible footwear… If he was caught by the teachers he would be in big trouble. Kids wandering out of town was a big no-no. But he needed the break. Maybe it would be worth the risk.

"Well hey there, stranger."

Kirby blinked, glancing around at the slightly squeaky sound of Christy Martin's voice. He was prepared to be irritated and grumpy at being interrupted, but he suddenly realised that he didn't actually mind that it was Christy. He sat back a little, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

"Hey Christy. What's up?"

She sat beside him, the skirt of her dark blue cheerleading outfit skimming her upper thigh. She turned to him, sitting closer than she needed to and smiling mischievously at him. Christy was pretty, she was hot, and she was a slut. Kirby wasn't dumb; the only reason she had come down here to sit with him was because she was probably feeling a little hot herself.

"Oh nothing," she sighed, twirling her hair around one finger. "Just wandering around, waiting for cheerleading practice to start…" She leaned back a little, making a show of pushing her chest out as she looked across the empty field. "I can't believe everyone is actually eating in the cafeteria. I heard that Edna has been giving out milk from that Nerd's rat with breakfasts. I get why Mandy is there because then she'll be able to puke without doing it herself…"

Kirby eyed the promiscuous cheerleader beside him. He had dated her in his very first year at Bullworth Academy, but they had only been little kids. It hadn't extended much further than holding hands and giggling together behind the girl's dorm while they checked out what was down the others pants. She was always making out with someone nowadays, but this month her focus seemed to be on Ted. Mandy was oblivious to it, of course - or at least she claimed to be. But the point was at the moment, Christy was Ted's. If she was down here looking for something with Kirby, he was going to have to be careful.

"I was just about to head into town," Kirby said, shifting uncomfortably as she pushed her knee against his. "I'm not having the best morning. I think I need to go find some loser and dish out some poundcake."

Christy smirked and leaned towards him. "Aw, bad morning?" She reached out and brushed his hair with her finger. He moved away slightly, wary of her advances. "Well I haven't had the best day either. Maybe we could cheer each other up?"

Kirby eyed her. He couldn't understand why Christy didn't have the same reputation as Lola. She was pretty much the same; she would practically get with any guy who showed interest. And any guy who didn't show interest as the case would be now. But then Kirby found himself wondering why he was leaning away from her. He was a young, fit, good-looking guy. Christy was hot and practically handing it to him on a plate. It wasn't like he was tied down with anyone right now. If Christy was up for some fooling around, then why the hell should he say no? Why the hell would he say no? Because of Ted? Because of Trent?

Oh hell no.

He half smiled back at her. "Did you have something in mind?" His voice was actually quite weak, which was a little embarrassing. He never had this problem when he was flirting with Trent. He had whispered some foul things in the bully's ear.

A wicked smirk flickered across Christy's pretty face and she glanced over her shoulder towards the steps that led up towards the gym. Seeing no one, she turned back to Kirby, leaning towards him and tilting her head slightly to the left. "Would you like to come and help me with something in the equipment shed, Kirby?"

Kirby swallowed, annoyed with himself. He was acting like a scared little virgin the way he kept looking away and licking his lips. He certainly wasn't a virgin, and he would kick the shit out of anyone who tried to say otherwise. Or at least he wasn't a virgin with a girl. It had been boys he had been spending most of his time with the past year, and even if he hadn't gone the whole way with them, it still felt weird having a soft, smooth girl pushing herself towards him.

He wasn't given the time to think about his situation any longer as Christy's hand firmly grabbed his balls.

He had no control over what happened next. He wasn't even quite sure on why he did it, but he suddenly, and very unexpectedly, smacked Christy's hand away and hopped up off the bench like it had just caught fire. To add insult to injury he stumbled over his own feet and nearly landed flat on his back on the pitch. Thankfully though it didn't go that far and he managed to catch himself. But the damage was already done.

Christy was staring at him with her mouth slightly open, still leaned over to the spot where he had sprang from. Kirby stared back at her, unsure of what to do. He could insist that something stung him, or he just remembered he had to be somewhere, but they both knew that was a lie. The way Christy's left eye narrowed just proved that she knew exactly what had happened there.

She rose slowly, smoothing down the front of her cheerleading dress. "That's okay, Kirby," she said after an agonising pause. "I always thought that anyway."

Christy turned and headed away, no doubt ready to burst with her new piece of gossip. Kirby wanted to chase her and grab her, tell her that he was just stung or bitten by some bug and prove his point by sticking his hand up his skirt. She was on her way to spread around the whole school that Kirby Olsen was a queer, but he couldn't do anything else but stare after her, feet glued to the spot.

This day was not getting any better.