I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My eyes were swollen from crying, my make up had smudged even though I was frequently wiping away my tears before they could spill over to far. My face had a pink tinge to it and it wasn't from blushing like it usually would have been. I took a deep breath, only to release it all on a chocked sob. I quickly clamped my mouth shout to keep quiet. All I would need is someone to catch me like this. I quickly remember that indeed someone might come in at any moment.
I wiped away my tears and held back the fresh ones. I cleaned up my ruined make up and patted my hair. I took deep calming breaths to take away the light shade of red. I sniffled and straightened my dress just as a knock on the door reached my ears. I muttered a come in and the white door creaked up, reveling a blonde behind it.
"Are you ready?" Rosalie asked me. I sighed and nodded my head, internally shaking it. She smiled at me and looked me over.
"You look so beautiful Bella," She stated. I smiled and blushed.
"Thanks Rose...is Alice here?" I asked her cautiously, she sighed and shook her head. I felt the world crush underneath me.
"You know her. She's got to be dramatic about this," Rosalie said.
"I know, it's just...her opinion means a lot to me. She's been my best friend for so long. I feel like I'm stabbing her in the back or something," I said collapsing onto the couch they had in the bridal room. Rose's lips twitched and she shuffled next to me in her red dress.
"But it shouldn't matter when her opinion is so absurd. How could she not like Jake? He's amazing," Rosalie played with her own engagement ring as I stared at the spot where my wedding ring would go...and stay. I sighed. Of course Jacob was amazing, he was the best guy to ever enter my life. We were inseparable, attached at the hip. The only problem? I don't love him.
Of course I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I don't want to spend forever with him. He was more like a brother, a best friend. This wasn't how things were suppose to go. We were suppose to be at each others weddings, rooting for each other. I don't want to get words of congrats or happiness. I wanted to be the one buying the gifts, not receiving them.
I should have said no.
But as the music started to play I knew it was too late. Rosalie moved from the couch, pulling me up with her.
"It's your big day Bella!" She hugged me and before I could even put an ounce of emotion into it she vanished. There was another knock at the door and my father Charlie popped his head in.
"Hey kiddo!" He said. I could only force a smile.
"Hi Dad," I spoke. I guess then he finally took a good look at me and I grimaced.
"Bells? Are you alright?" He asked. I forced another smile and nodded my head.
"Just nervous, that's all." I lied. The music got louder, Charlie and I stiffened.
"It's time," I whispered, dreading the words.
"My little girl is all grown up," His words broke to much for him to be a grown man. I wanted to reply but I was becoming panicked. I was about to marry the man I didn't love, the man who had always been my best friend and nothing more.
"We're ready for you," Mr. Weber said. My father nodded his head and I took a large, audible breath. I felt my father's arm link onto my own. I trembled.
"Your not going to throw up are you?" Charlie asked. I let out a harsh laugh, his own chuckle reached my ears and we laughed for a good five seconds before the reality of the situation set back in. This was it. Somehow I had gone into a stupor and before I knew it I was being led through large church doors. The faces of friends and family were staring at me.
I let my eyes fly to my feet. The familiar song I'd heard in movies and other weddings touched my ears and seemed to vibrate through my limbs. Charlie took a step forward, my own feet followed. I could feel the stares on me as I walked down the aisle. My eyes looked up only to capture the eyes of my waiting groom.
I'd known him since I was a child. We'd spent most our lives growing up. It wasn't until senior year that I realized he loved me and that I could never build my feelings for him into something more. We could never be more. Not even now. I took one more step before coming to a stop. Charlie placed my hand into Jacob's palm. His heat radiated around me, it was hotter then usual.
"Take good care of her," Charlie whispered before walking to his seat. I kept my eyes down, letting Jacob guide me to the spot that I would stand as we became one. It was horrible. For months I had been dreading this day, secretly plotting ways to escape. But as Mr. Weber began to speak those words, each one dragging, I began to panic.
My eyes met Jake's. He starred deeply at me, his eyes adoring and loving. It was sickening, it was unfair. I didn't deserve to have him love me, I didn't deserve being the one he loved. He belonged to someone who could equally love him back. I was in someone else's shoes, I was playing the role of another.
My eyes removed themselves from his stare and turned to my mother's. She was crying, but through her tears I could see a smile. She grinned wider when she noticed me looking at her.
"Love you," She mouthed. I didn't respond. All I could think about was her own marriage. She had married Charlie when she became pregnant with me. They had only been out of school for a month before they got married. It was sudden, it was so soon. It was obvious they weren't ready, but because of me they obliged into getting married.
Jake and I weren't even having a sexual relationship. This was purely out of love that only one could support. This wasn't right. This wasn't fair. I couldn't keep playing this lie.
"I can't do this!" I shouted. Jacob's eyes widened.
"What?" He gasped.
"I'm sorry, Jake. I can't marry you, I don't love you." I picked up my dress and flew down the steps, tears rolling of my face and my breathing fast. I didn't even look back, I didn't even react to the gasps. I had to get out of here. I let my dress drop as I extended my hands out toward me. My palms met the large, wood doors and I forced them open.
"BELLA!" I heard my name being called numerous times, but I ignored them all. I flew down the cement steps, being careful not to fall. If I broke my legs I'd surely be stuck here, in this relationship, in this guilt. I couldn't face anyone after this. No doubt that I'd hurt Jacob. He didn't deserve the pain or faux love.
I continued to run down the sidewalk. I doged through the strangers on the streets and sidwalkes, I ignored the possible chasers. I just had to leave. I had to go anywhere. And there was only one person I wanted to see, one person I needed.
Zombie Note- Me and sisterhoodfan have been wanting to do a collab for awhile. We've finally compromised on something. I hope you guys enjoy this story. It will have lemons, we're just not changing the rating till that time comes. And yes, this is a Bella/Edward story. But I do plan on writing a oneshot in Jacob's point of view on his thoughts about Bella leaving him at the alter.
Sister Note-Well, shes pretty much said it all...lets get this show on the road bitches! I'm glad to be back!
Chapter written by Zombie's Run This Town