Tattward & Inkella One-Shot Contest
Title: Second to None
Your pen name: AngryBadgerGirl
Characters: Edward & Bella
I do not own Twilight, but I do have a tramp-stamp that says 'Bad Kitty'
His hands were all over me. He whispered my name repeatedly as I pushed him onto the bed. I wanted him naked so I could feel every last inch of his skin against mine. He was a beautiful, muscular god and I longed to devour him with my eyes, taste him with hands, and feel him with my tongue. Not only did this perfect specimen heighten my senses, he fucking scrambled them.
"Need to be inside you. Now. Please," he begged as I removed his jeans and wrapped my hand around his throbbing hard-on through the fabric of his boxer briefs.
"Be patient, baby," I cooed like a vixen, kissing the head of his dick despite the material between him and my lips. I pumped him up and down until a bit of pre-cum soaked through. He groaned and leaned his head back. I was driving him to a torturous ecstasy and I loved it.
"Please let me touch you. Fuck! I'm so hard," he hissed. He knew I was deliberating frustrating him.
Rising up, I tugged on the hem of his v-neck t-shirt. He raised his arms, letting me pull his shirt over his head. I eyed the firm, bulging bicep of his right arm. I could never resist that bicep…with its fuckhot tattoo. I leaned my face into it and kissed it softly, almost reverently as I traced an outline over it with my fingertips.
"You like that?" I heard a voice next to me say. It was such a sexy voice—charming but masculine and deep. It woke me out of the craziest sex fantasy I'd ever had. I couldn't help myself. I lusted after bad boys even though I didn't have a rebellious bone in my body.
"Wha?" I mumbled, looking away from the hotness talking beside me. I cast my eyes down at my desk, nervously pushing my glasses up the bridge of my nose.
"My tattoo, you seem to enjoy staring at it," he accused with a smirk. His long fingers pulled his t-shirt sleeve up slightly to reveal what looked like a family crest. I couldn't help but peek at it again.
"Yeah, um, it's neat," I muttered nervously as I shrank down into my seat.
'It's neat'? Could I sound any more like a complete dork?
"Thanks, I think," he said with a rich, throaty laugh. Even his laugh was sexy.
I snapped my eyes back down to study the various scratches and pen marks on my desk.
"Welcome," the professor began, "to Biology 101. I'm Doug Banner. Most of you are here because this class is required for all Arts & Sciences majors. For some of you a college level science course might be a challenge. But if you need help, don't hesitate to ask me or my teaching assistant, Edward Cullen," he said, gesturing to the gorgeous guy sitting next to me. He turned to face the rest of the class and nodded his head.
Fan-fucking-tastic. I would make an ass of myself sitting next to the TA on the first day of class. If it weren't for my shitty eyesight, I wouldn't need to sit way in front, two inches from the board.
Professor Banner launched right into his lecture. I tried to keep up, but between the complexity of the subject, the guy sitting next to me, and how I embarrassed myself in front of said guy, I couldn't concentrate. My eyes kept wandering to that tattoo. Luckily, Edward was a fidgety type, randomly rubbing his shoulder, pushing his shirt sleeve up so I could get a better glimpse.
It was a gray and black colored family crest with the name 'CULLEN' underneath it, written in Old English calligraphy. The crest itself was interesting. In the center was a lion, standing on three legs, its fourth one stretched out, claws exposed. Over the lion was a hand or a glove, I couldn't tell which, with palm forward and fingers spaced apart. Under the lion was a chevron with three clovers on it. It was beautiful tattoo—in a kind of odd, gothic way.
But good Lord is that thing sexy.
I studied Edward's profile. He was just…I dunno, hotter than a thousand blazing suns? Either I was really horny or he was really good looking— probably both. I was a sophomore at Dartmouth and hadn't dated a single guy here. Not. One. Single. Date. I knew I wasn't a supermodel, but I wasn't a troll living under a bridge, either.
My problem was that I was incredibly introverted. I had a lot to say, at least in my mind, but I clammed up when I tried to say it. Meeting new people and being in strange situations was so awkward for me, I could physically feel it. My mom put a label on it recently—social anxiety. Great, now I was diseased. I didn't have a personality, I had a condition. Perfect.
But staring at Edward cheered me up. There were lots of cute guys on campus, but I decided he was definitely the cutest. He had a 'classic' male profile, with a long straight nose that had a slight bump in the bridge, a nice full pair of lips, an amazing jaw line that was pronounced and perfectly angular. He had a 'strong' jaw, as they'd say. His eyes were big and my favorite color—green. It suited him. Wasn't green the horny color? Like green M&M's?
Mmm, horny Edward makes me happy.
Next, I noticed his almost girly-looking long eyelashes. They might have even been longer than mine. Again, it suited him. His eyebrows were crazy bushy but not in a gross, mono-brow way. They just accentuated his expressions more. He was concentrating, so they were knitted as he thought. His beard looked a couple of days old and he had long sideburns, both made him all the more hot. Even his messy unwashed hair was working for him. He kept running his hand through it, making it impossible for it to stay neat.
The guy just looked badass, there was no other way to describe it.
Eventually I had to stop staring and tried to pay attention. We were assigned a ton of homework, and I needed to get on the ball or I'd never pass. Before I knew it, the lecture was over. I grabbed my things and headed toward the exit at the back. I turned to look at Mr. Badass one more time because I was horny like that. He was putting on a black motorcycle jacket over his t-shirt and beat up ripped jeans. The jacket had painted lettering and patches on it, just making the badass even badder.
My ass has been bad, Edward. Will you spank it?
He looked like he was about to walk toward my direction but I fought the temptation to wait and see. Instead, I turned and booked it out of there, too self-conscious to do anything else. I went to my next class wondering if I'd ever get the nerve to talk to him.
Later that afternoon, I met up with my girlfriends to hang out.
"Bella," Alice began, "if you think the guy's cute, you should chat with him. He's not going to bite your head off," she said, taking a sip of her smoothie as we sat in the lounge of the student union.
"Better yet, flash him your jugs," Rose piped up, always the comedian. "What?" she asked, in response to me giving her the stink-eye. "Works for me," she added with a sniff, her ruby red lips pursed in a pout.
"Guys, he's not just cute. He's unbelievably hot—he's got this tattoo…" I tried to say but their reactions were so nuts, I couldn't finish.
"A TATTOO?" Alice repeated loudly.
"No WAY!" Rose said at the same volume.
"What is this, 1953? Yes, a tattoo," I answered with annoyance and rolling my eyes.
"Oh, I would bone a guy with a hot tattoo in a second," Rose replied. "I just can't see him being your type at all."
"Honestly, me neither, Bella," Alice agreed.
"How can I have a type when I've never even had a real boyfriend?" I asked, wondering if these two had any brains.
"You had Mike," Alice said with an obnoxious giggle. She was goading me on purpose.
"Mike Newton is a pain in the ass. I made out with him once at a party and he thinks I'm dating him, gah!" I argued with a shiver. Mike was an even bigger dweeb than me.
"Did you let him grope a titty?" Rose asked with a laugh.
"No, but he groped it anyway. Nasty," I said, shaking my head and frowning at the memory.
"Well, maybe you can let him grope it again but just close your eyes and pretend it's this Edward hottie," Alice suggested with a snort.
"You're both fucking hilarious, you know that?" I snapped back rhetorically.
Over the next few weeks, I'd sit next to Edward in class—I'd force myself to, and gave him a nervous 'hello,' but it never went beyond that. Then we got our first quiz back and I sighed when I saw my grade—a D. I knew I was going to tank. My course-load this semester was insane and I didn't study enough.
"Disappointed?" Edward asked, turning in his seat toward me.
I nodded, studying my mistakes.
"You're Bella, right?" he asked, remembering my name from when the professor called roll. I looked at him and nodded again, too nervous to talk.
"I graded those quizzes. I think you could do better," he said. He didn't sound like he was talking down to me; he was trying to be encouraging. I was a surprised. Over the past few weeks, I figured he forgot about me even though I sat next to him and we'd say hello at the beginning of class. Nothing else ever happened, so I must've fallen off his radar.
"Thanks, I need to try harder next time," I said, smiling shyly.
"Is there anything you need help with?" he asked.
Yes, I need help getting a man to touch me—basic human biology, Mr. Badass.
"I'm sorry, what?" I asked. He'd said something else, but my brain shut off once I pictured him touching me. He laughed lightly at how spacey I was.
"I said, I can help you study, if you want," he repeated. I almost didn't believe my ears, but then again, he was the TA and it was expected of him to offer.
"Um, yeah, that would be neat," I replied. I instantly regretted using that dumb word again. If I could've kicked my own ass, I would've.
"OK, how about Tuesdays at 4, in the lounge downstairs?" he offered.
"Uh, sure, I'm free then. Thanks."
He smiled and I thought I was gonna explode right there. He had the most vicious smile—it was so…sexy, in a completely dangerous and mischievous way. It was as if he knew how hot it was and used it exactly for that reason.
That smile was completely vicious and I was its perfect prey.
"Cool, see you Tuesday," he said just as Professor Banner started his lecture.
After zoning out and daydreaming about Edward the entire weekend, I managed to slog through Monday and most of Tuesday. I couldn't take the anticipation; it was kind of silly. I felt like this was the closest I was going to get to being on a date, so I better make the most of it. I wore my pretty sky blue peasant blouse. It was sheer so I had a cami underneath it. Alice approved, saying 'it showed a lot of skin.' I took that as a compliment.
I got to the lounge of the sciences building just before 4pm. Edward was already there, looking down at a textbook. He wore a gray t-shirt with a blue hoodie, along with those same beat up jeans that he seemed to like so much. He had on a very well worn pair of black Doc Marten boots that I absolutely loved. I sighed involuntarily as I walked toward him, amazed at how handsome he was sitting there, lost in thought.
"Hi, Edward," I said, approaching the bulky couch.
"Oh, hey Bella," he replied, but not looking up. He was jotting something down. When he was done, he lifted his head and peered up at me. After a second or two, he had a confused looked on his face, like he was expecting someone else, even though he knew it was me standing there—he even said my name. His mouth opened and closed, and then he shook his head slightly, like he was trying to come to or something. I had no idea what was going on in his brain. He seemed out of it, and I'd never seen Edward out of it before.
"Thanks again, for, you know, offering to help me," I stammered awkwardly as I sat, pulling out my textbook.
"No problem, that's what I'm here for," he answered with a smile. His normally serious expression was back, but his eyes kept wandering down to my peasant blouse.
Shit, I spilled food on myself, didn't I? I bet there's a giant fucking grease stain on my shirt. I knew I shouldn't have worn this when we went out for Chubby Burgers.
He peeled off his hoodie, and there it was again—that amazing tattoo on his bicep that made my eyes lock onto it and not able to tear themselves away. Once Edward started talking though, I realized that looking at his face was not exactly a loss. That serious, intense gaze of his made my toes curl.
Not to mention, that insane caveman brow makes carrying around spare panties a necessity, Mr. Badass.
We went over a lot of material I either didn't understand or hadn't studied enough, and Edward was really patient and nice despite the fact that I was still struggling after an hour and a half. The truth was I couldn't catch up with three weeks worth of work in one study session.
"You are doing better," he said, again sounding reassuring and encouraging.
"Thanks, I still need to improve though," I replied with a heavy sigh.
"Well, we could meet every week," he offered politely. He probably thought I was dropping him a huge hint, but I wasn't. I didn't think he'd care that much.
"That's OK, I don't want to bug you," I said with a shrug of my shoulders, looking down at my messenger bag.
"Yes, Bella, it's a terrible, horrible burden sitting on this lumpy, yet quite comfortable couch and talking about my best and favorite subject," he teased. "And having to sit here with you, I mean…yuck," he added, making a weird grossed out face. I let out a big laugh at his silly expression.
"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically. "Are you this smooth with all the ladies? Because that face you just made was HAWT!" I added, making my eyes go wide and making 'Jazz hands' on either side of my face. He totally cracked up at that. His whole face shook, and he had this unbelievably sexy 'v' shaped vein that bulged out of his forehead.
Time flew by, and Tuesdays were by far my favorite day of the week. Sometimes I'd bring Edward brownies I made from scratch. He mentioned that his only vice was a sweet tooth—he never drank, smoked, or did drugs. His goal was to get into medical school, preferably the one right here at Dartmouth.
The more we got together, the easier it became for me to talk to him. My favorite thing to do was make Edward laugh, and I always seemed to be able to crack him up. I did a really good imitation of Professor Banner that made him laugh until he cried the first time I did it. Whenever he got really serious about something, I'd make a face or talk in a weird voice and the serious moment would vanish. He never lost his patience with me though, even when I was goofing off.
By the second and third quizzes, I was completely caught up and even doing well. I got a B on the first quiz and a B+ on the second. I was almost afraid that Edward wouldn't want to help me study anymore, but he never mentioned stopping. In fact, he made sure we got together before the midterm so I'd be prepared. I baked him cupcakes for that.
Edward never missed a study session, and we'd chat a little before class started but it never went beyond a casual friendship. I never saw him outside of class or the lounge that we'd meet in. He had my cell number and email address but he never contacted me.
I knew he didn't like me 'in that way' but a small part of me held out hope that he did.
When our last study session before the final exam over, I felt genuinely sad. I'd probably never see him again. He was a senior with one semester left. All his courses were upper level and all within his Bio major. I studied English, so there was no way we'd ever have a class together.
"Well, thanks, Edward, for everything. You saved me from almost flunking," I said, trying to show how grateful I was. I started packing my things because I really needed to get out of there and cry in private. I was being a baby and an idiot, but I couldn't help it.
I'm really gonna miss you, Mr. Badass who's actually a sweetheart.
"You're very welcome, Bella. I'm glad we met, I had fun hanging out with you," he said back with a warm smile. It was too much to listen to. I grabbed my stuff and bolted without looking at him. I ran straight back to my dorm, threw myself on my bed, and cried for two hours.
Finals came and went, so did winter break. I never heard from Edward, even though I really wanted to. Alice and Rose kept bugging me to make the first move but I knew I'd be setting myself up for disappointment. Better to dream about what could've been than live the reality of harsh disappointment. I was an optimist like that.
At the beginning of spring semester, Alice managed to talk me into going out to a keg party off-campus. I didn't want to go, but she wouldn't let up. I finally caved and wore my favorite sky blue blouse.
The party was at one of the many single family houses rented out to students—the usual bachelor pad with crappy used furniture and sheets for drapes. The whole place stunk of stale beer and cigarette ashes. Still, it was pretty crowded, with lots of people milling in and out.
"Hey, let's go trawling for man meat," Alice suggested, elbowing me in the ribs. Rose's face lit up like a Christmas tree at that suggestion.
"Oh, hell yes," she said, chugging the last of her beer and tossing the plastic cup over her shoulder without even looking.
"No, thanks, I'll just hang out here," I said, pointing to the ratty couch nearby.
"Jesus, you're still not over that TA dude you had a girl-boner for all last semester?" Rose accused, rolling her pretty blue eyes and throwing her perfect blonde hair over her shoulder.
"His name is Edward and he was really sweet to me, OK? Like that happens to me a lot, Rose. We can't all be blonde bombshells," I snapped bitterly. I was bitter. I was really fucking bitter. Why did girls like Rose have it so easy? Guys pretty much fell all over themselves for her. She never had to work to get a guy interested in her, and it was just fucking unfair.
"Come on now, Bella, Rose is trying to make you see that one guy isn't worth all this energy," Alice explained, trying to cool me off. Rose was staring daggers at me for losing my shit at her, but I didn't care.
"Whatever, you guys just go. I want to sit here and sulk if that's OK," I said dejectedly. Alice protested, but I waved her off. The beer I'd been drinking was just making me sullen. There was no reason to make them suffer with me.
I took a seat on the nastiest couch known to mankind and daydreamed. I wondered what I could've done differently with Edward. I thought to myself that maybe my mom was right; maybe I did just have something wrong with me.
Staring into my cup, I noticed my beer was all gone. I was about to get up and refill it when someone sat next to me—really close.
"Hiya Bella. Fancy meeting you here in this fine abode," Mike said in a nasally voice, grinning at me with his gross gigantic Chiclet teeth.
Isn't this just perfect? The one guy I'd never want touching me is sitting next to me. Touching me. Fuck my life.
"Hi Mike," I mumbled, trying to get up. I could hardly contain my enthusiasm for this tool.
"Where ya goin? I just got here," he whined.
"I'm going to get a beer," I replied, thankful to have a convenient reason to escape.
"Oh, I gotcha covered," he said, handing me one of the two cups he was holding. I groaned inwardly as my plan to ditch this annoying, handsy moron disintegrated.
I dropped my shoulders in defeat, taking the cup from Mike and swigging down the beer as fast as I could.
Maybe if I got completely hammered, his teeth will shrink and he'll morph into Edward.
"So, I'm like, totally gonna double major. Accounting and Statistics, for the win!" Mike exclaimed, trying to make the dullest conversation seem interesting.
"Wow, Mike, that's really cool," I said, not looking up from my drink. I took a few more gulps, hoping to finish quickly.
"So, Bella, maybe we could go out sometime, see a movie," he said. "You never seem busy. I see you around on Friday and Saturday nights," he reminded me.
"I don't think so, Mike," I replied simply.
"What? You have something better to do?" he snorted with a stupid grin.
"I don't…I just…it's not a good idea," I stammered, feeling too pathetic and sorry for myself to muster the energy to fight this fool off.
"No need to get all worked up, doll," he said, sensing my tension. He set his drink down and put his arm around me—tightly. "Come here, I'll cheer you up," he added, leaning his face into mine.
"Mike, stop it!" I shrieked, trying to push him off me and dropping my beer in the process. "Get off me, stop!" I yelled, but he was stronger than me and wouldn't let go. The room was conveniently empty, leaving me to fend off this horny douche-bag myself. Mike held me down, trying to kiss my face and neck. I kept yelling at him to stop. When I felt his disgusting wet lips on my collarbone as his hand on my breast, I just screamed bloody murder.
I heard someone running toward us, shouting.
"Hey! Asshole, let go of her before I fucking kill you!" I heard an angry male voice yell.
Oh my God. I know that voice.
I looked up and my eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. It was Edward, looking incredibly pissed off. He grabbed Mike by the shirt collar and dragged him off the couch, forcing him to stand.
"Chill out, dude, we were just talking," Mike tried to explain, but it was too late. Edward cocked his right arm back and punched him right in the mouth, literally sending him falling backwards and flat on his ass before he scrambled back on his feet.
"I heard her screaming over all the noise in here, you dip shit. Like fucking hell you were 'just talking,'" Edward fumed. His eyes were wide and raging.
Mike just stood there and sputtered, but no words came out. His lip was split open and bleeding.
"If I ever catch you touching a girl like that again, I will kick the shit out of you. If I ever catch you looking at Bella again, I will kill you," Edward warned. "Now, get the fuck out of my house before my bros and I throw you the fuck out."
Again, Mike seemed like he couldn't talk. He just mumbled about crazy dudes attacking him when he wasn't doing anything and hustled himself out of the room. By now a little crowd had gathered, including Alice and Rose, who both rushed too see if I was hurt, but Edward beat them to it.
"Bella, did he hurt you, are you OK?" he asked, looking worried.
"I'm fine, he was just groping me and trying to kiss me," I said, not in any physical pain but shaken up.
"Are you alright?" Alice asked.
"Yeah. Just weirded out. Do you mind if we go?" I asked her.
"If you want, you can come up to my room, it's quiet and you can lie down if you want," Edward offered. It was very sweet of him. He seemed really concerned about me. Alice and Rose exchanged funny looks but didn't say anything. Then they both looked at me and Alice nodded her head slightly as if to say 'Go up there, you idiot. Go up there and don't ever come out.'
"Thanks, Edward, that's nice of you," I said as I stood up. He put his hand out for me to hold so I could steady myself. I didn't realize that I was shaking. He showed me upstairs to his room, holding my hand the whole way. I didn't want him to ever let it go; it made me feel safe and cared for.
Edward's room was completely different from the common areas. Easily big enough to fit two people comfortably, it was actually decorated with real furniture, with a large bed, a small love seat and a flat screen TV with video game consoles attached to it. A big desk sat in the corner and there were bookcases crammed with books.
"I'm just going to lock the door so no drunken idiots stumble in here, is that OK with you? If not, I don't have to," he asked, making sure I didn't feel uncomfortable.
"No, no, that's fine," I replied, not wanting any more drama. The idea of being alone with Edward made my heart beat like crazy, but in a good way.
I took a seat on the little couch, trying to relax but feeling nervous as hell. I couldn't believe I was in Edward's bedroom. I didn't even know he lived here. A night that started out so crappy was suddenly turning around.
"Can I get you something? I have a mini-fridge with water and soda," he offered politely.
"Some water would be awesome," I said with a smile. My nerves were totally shot, making my mouth feel like it was full of cotton balls. He handed me some bottled water, quickly twisting the cap and breaking the seal for me first.
I absentmindedly kicked off my shoes—it was a habit of mine since I hated having shoes on indoors. I bent and stretched my toes, hoping it would relax me. I also took off my glasses and chucked them into my purse. If there ever was a time I didn't want to seem nerdy, this was it.
Edward took a seat next to me. He smiled and his eyes looked happy and playful. I couldn't keep his gaze, it was just too much, and so I looked down at my bottled water instead.
"Feeling better?" he asked.
"Yeah, I am, actually."
"I'm sorry about that Mike asshole, but I'm glad you came to the party," he said, running his hand through his hair. He looked…nervous, like he was afraid to say what he was thinking. I wanted to believe that he was interested in me but that just made no sense. I wasn't his type at all. I mean, he possessed a level of good looks that existed in a different dimension from where I lived, to be honest.
"I'm glad I'm here too," I agreed, fiddling with the bottle cap in my hand.
"I really liked getting together with you on Tuesdays. You always cracked me up," he admitted, almost sheepishly. "And, you know, I was glad your grades got better," he offered, sounding more serious. I just tried to smile and nod. It sounded like he was apologizing for not being attracted to me. I took this my cue to leave and stood up, slipping my shoes back on.
"Thanks, Edward. I should get going," I said, feeling my face tighten up, the sting of his rejection hurting me.
"Hey, hey, Bella, what's wrong? You look sad," he noted, gently grabbing my arm as I tried to walk passed him. His face looked so earnest, so sweet. I felt my chin quivering and bit my bottom lip.
"I…I'm sorry. This…God. This is so embarrassing. I'm just a dork, Edward," I tried to explain but my tongue was in knots. My voice came out in a weird scratchy whisper. Before I knew it, Edward got up from the couch and gave me a big bear hug, literally squeezing the air out of me. I just lost it then. I pressed my face into his shoulder and cried like a blubbering baby.
"No, please don't cry, Bella. I don't want to see your pretty brown eyes cry," he murmured softly.
"Edward, I wish I could be…like the girls who know how to talk to guys, who know how not to be nervous and not say dumb things or act like a goof. I only make people laugh to keep them from laughing at me. And all it gets me is attention from perverts like Mike," I confessed while crying.
He pulled away from me slightly so he could look at my face. I lifted my head and looked back at him as I wiped my eyes.
"Well, what about me? You have my attention," he said softly.
"That's not what I meant," I said, shaking my head. "I meant attention like, being attracted to me, wanting to be with…" I began, but then something dawned on me. It was like my brain was on some sort of a delay and Edward's words were only now just sinking in.
'I don't want to see those pretty brown eyes cry…'
"Wait—what did you say?" I asked, furrowing my brow slightly.
"I said 'you have my attention…'" he repeated.
"No, before that—you said something about my eyes."
"Yeah, I did, didn't I? Sort of slipped out," he admitted sheepishly.
"Edward, you said my eyes were…pretty," I whispered.
"Well, they are. They're the prettiest brown eyes I've seen," he confessed, his mouth turning up on one side.
"I don't know what to say…I didn't think you…thought of me that way," I said, confused by what I was hearing and what I thought he felt about me.
"Bella, I've been looking at your pretty brown eyes ever since the first day of class. And with each time I saw them, they got prettier and prettier, and now…I just don't know if I've ever seen anything more beautiful," he confessed, his voice soft and tender.
"That's the nicest…just the most…" I tried to say, but the words got stuck in my throat. No one had given me such a meaningful compliment before.
"Sweet girl, I need to kiss you," he murmured, stroking my cheek.
I looked at his lips just then because once he said the words 'kiss you' that was all I could do. God, I was lost in Edward—in his gaze, in his words—I felt like I was under a spell. Shit, if he wanted something from me, all he had to do was ask. Edward Cullen was a regular fucking snake charmer to me. It was the sincerity behind his words, how it was so heartfelt and pure. What girl in their right mind could resist that?
"I need you to kiss me," I urged, looking right into those green eyes that were like magic.
With his hands on either side of my face, he pressed his full, soft lips to mine. They felt warm and passionate, and like they belonged there. It was the most amazing kiss of my life. I didn't know if it was because he was a good kisser or what the reason was—that kiss was perfect, like our lips were always meant to touch. I didn't feel weirded out or like he was attacking me like most guys' kisses felt. This was natural and sweet.
"Edward," I whispered when we pulled apart to catch our breaths. I didn't especially have anything to say, I just wanted to say his name, to acknowledge that all the amazing things I was feeling came from one source, and one source alone—him.
He sat me back down on the couch and held my face in his hands. To be honest, I was dumbstruck. I never thought in a million years that he had anything but platonic feelings for me.
"I had no idea," I said with a light laugh. I shook my head in disbelief.
"Well, you should have," he said with a smirk. "When I started helping you study every week, I looked forward to it more and more. You have a way about you, it's different from other girls," he said, stroking my cheek.
"How come you never said anything?" I asked, confused by how disinterested he seemed before now. He took a deep breath and let out a long sigh.
"I wanted to, I really did," he confessed, shaking his head. "But I couldn't. I was your TA; I didn't want to take advantage of my position. It wouldn't be right. I…wanted to be respectful," he explained. It did make sense for him to feel that way.
"I have to confess," I began. "The first day of class, when I saw your tattoo, you were right, I was staring at it," I said with a laugh. "And when I got to know you a bit better, it just amazed me how you could be so smart but also, you know a…"
"What?" he urged playfully.
"Um…a bad boy," I replied, smiling shyly. Edward surprised me by giving me a funny look and laughing. "No, I'm serious, you're so much cooler than me," I added, shrugging my shoulders.
"Bella, I am not a bad boy, trust me," he said, shaking his head. "Here, I'll prove it to you," he added, getting up from the couch and bringing over a large book.
"Here," he said, holding the book open and pointing at something. "Look at this," he urged.
I scanned the page—it was the Dartmouth freshmen directory—like a yearbook for first years. He was pointing at someone's picture. My eyes did a double take when I saw the name.
The photograph was of someone a full foot shorter than the Edward I knew, with braces, thick glasses and not the best complexion.
"That's you?" I said, not really able to hide how shocked I was.
"That's me," he replied. "I have some idea what it's like not to be 'cool.' Honestly, what is or isn't cool doesn't matter to me at all," he explained.
"Really?" I asked like a complete idiot. I guess I was just surprised.
"Really," he said, nodding his head and smiling. "I'm just me, Bella. A lab nerd who likes tattoos and good music. You know what made me really want to be with you?" he asked sweetly.
"What?" I replied softly, my face blushing like crazy.
"You were always yourself around me. You didn't flirt or say things to impress me. You were your own person—funny, smart and sweet. I'd never met someone like that before," he confessed. He looked surprised at how much he was saying, like he wanted to hold back but couldn't.
"Thanks. I liked spending time with you. You always laughed at my jokes," I replied, smiling at the memories of the goofy things I'd say while we sat on that lumpy couch every Tuesday.
We looked at each for a minute, like we both knew what we wanted but were trying to figure out if we were thinking the same thing. I suddenly realized it was now or never. I wanted Edward—not Mr. Badass, not the cool dude in the leather jacket. I wanted him. Because Edward was better than just a hot guy. And fuck if I knew why, but he 'got' me, and that made him so much hotter.
I grabbed his hand and kissed his palm.
"Can I kiss you again?" he asked. I nodded my head and smiled.
"This time, don't stop," I whispered.
"Bella," he whispered back, leaning into me.
His mouth was on mine before I even closed my eyes. I didn't mind his impatience one bit. I'd thought about kissing him for months now. I felt his soft pouty lips and I melted. I moaned slightly and opened my mouth. I wanted Edward's tongue to touch mine and when it did, it felt so good. It was warm and soft as it moved gently.
His hand caressed me from my cheek to my neck. My own hands were getting the urge to touch him, so I stroked his jaw, scratching his beard stubble with my fingers. I wanted to lean back and lie down but the loveseat was too small. Still kissing him, I urged Edward to stand up with me by pulling his arms. I started backing up towards his bed.
"Mmm, Bella, are you, mmm, sure?" he asked, trying to neck and talk at the same time.
"Mmmhmmm," was all I said back. We collapsed onto the bed in a heap, our arms and legs all tangled. Laughing and French kissing is a combination I'd never experienced before, but it felt great. All of it felt great—touching him, kissing him, knowing that he wanted me, that I wasn't just any girl.
It was awesome and unbelievable and amazing.
Our hands started exploring. We both wanted to know each others bodies. Putting my hand up his t-shirt, I touched his chest, feeling his muscles and hair. He groaned when I used my nails to scratch just a tiny bit. I couldn't resist—I was getting so worked up.
"God, Edward, I just…I want…" I gasped. I felt a weird combination of excitement and nerves.
"I know, me too. I've thought about this for so long," he confessed. "But we don't have to, you know, do more than kiss if you don't want," he offered. He was so being very gentlemanly and considerate. It was sweet, but I wanted him so badly.
What are you, insane?
"If we stop, I will explode," I said in the calmest voice I could muster. His face just dissolved into laughter. It was my favorite thing to see right at that moment.
"OK, lemme see what I can do to…diffuse you…" he said, smirking and a raising his eyebrow.
"I'm on to you, Cullen, and your smirky smirks," I said, turning my head to the side and squinting at him.
He chuckled into my neck and his hot breath made me squirm. I decided I couldn't stand it any longer and started pulling his shirt off. He helped me along by easing it up over his head. I was surprised to see another tattoo, this one on his chest—on his left pec muscle, right over his heart. It was a phrase written in beautiful handwriting. It said 'Nulli Secundus,' which I guessed must be Latin. I asked him what it meant.
"It means 'second to none.' I got it to remind myself to always be the best, or at least try to be," he explained. I smiled and nodded my head. It suited him.
His shoulders were so broad and beautiful; I ran my fingertips from his collarbone down to his bicep, where he had the family crest tattoo I noticed back on the first day of Biology class.
"Is this your family crest?" I asked, wanting to know more. He nodded and looked down at it.
"My dad's family is from England originally, a bunch of generations ago," he said. "There are lots of Cullens, but I'm the last one in my immediate family. I figured this was a good way to honor the people who came before me, my dad and grandfather especially," he revealed.
"What does it mean?" I asked, tracing it with my finger.
"Well, someone researched it back when my granddad was a kid. The glove at the top symbolizes loyalty and faith. The lion, obviously, is bravery. That chevron on the bottom is protection, and the clovers symbolize timelessness, endurance," he explained.
"That's really cool. I like it," I said, smiling at him.
"Well, you know," he replied with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't get it to be cool. I like my tattoos because they represent things that are important to me, like my family and being the best person I can be. I have another tattoo with another Latin phrase," he hinted with another one of his smirks.
"Oh yeah, where is this other tattoo, exactly?" I asked, forcing the question out before I lost my nerve to ask it.
"You'll just have to wait and find out," he teased. I purred at him in response and I saw his face change instantly. No more teasing.
Edward leaned forward, getting on all fours and forcing me to lie down underneath him. Starting from the bottom of my blouse, he began undoing its buttons. He kissed my exposed skin after each one was popped open. He eased my arms out from the sleeves and tossed the silky fabric to the floor. I was wearing a stretch cami underneath that also doubled as a bra. Lowering the straps, he kissed my shoulders, and then rolled the top of my camisole downward slowly. I watched his eyes take in my bare skin. He looked mesmerized, stopping only to give me a kiss here and a kiss there. I heard him gasp softly when he lowered my shirt enough that my breasts were no longer covered.
"God, you're beautiful," he murmured, kissing me right in my cleavage. I whispered a small 'thank you' back to him, unable to talk any louder because I was fighting off the urge to cry. It was just so sweet of him to say that, and I was so happy that I found somebody who thought that about me, who really meant it.
He kissed my lips again, more urgently than before. His hand was on my waist, bunching up my camisole, then moved up to my chest. His fingers played lightly on the side of my breast, then over my nipple. It made my back arch and my hips grind against his leg. I could feel something really hard inside his jeans. I pressed my hand to the hair under his navel and slowly psyched myself into moving it lower and lower until it was on top of that hard bulge. I just rubbed it a little because I didn't know what else to do. When he moaned into my mouth, I figured I must be doing something right.
I felt his hand press into my breast a little harder and his fingers roll my nipple back and forth. Then it was my turn to moan. His lips kissed my chin, then my neck. He moved his head down and nuzzled his cheek into my chest, smiling up at me like a kid in a candy store. It was just what I needed—he made me laugh and I realized this is the way we're supposed to be. Edward and I need to kiss and touch and make each other feel good. He gets me and I get him.
No more feeling shy, not with him.
I sat up and pulled my camisole off. Edward sat up too and just hugged me. I felt his skin against mine. It felt perfect—his muscles, hair, and that "guy" smell I noticed the first time we studied together.
We lay down again, kissing and groping everywhere. He leaned down to my chest and softly kissed my nipple, then licked it lightly. I closed my eyes and bit my lip when his mouth was on me, pulling and sucking.
"Fuck," I whispered. My eyes went wide, surprised at my language. I looked at Edward, who grinned at me with my nipple still in his mouth. He was deliriously happy. I made a mental note to only wear clothes that accentuated my boobs from then on.
My curiosity got to the point where I wanted to see all of him, so I reached for the buttons on the fly of his beat up jeans and undid them. He didn't stop me or say anything, but he did moan.
"Edward?" I asked. He looked up at me again, still busy with his mouth on my breast. "Can I, um, see you without your pants on?"
"Jesus, Bella," he groaned. "You can't talk to a guy like that—not when he's where I am right now," he complained at me, one hand on one boob and his lips stuck on the other.
"Sorry?" I offered, tilting my head to the side and scrunching my shoulders.
Edward rolled onto his back, taking off his jeans and his boxer briefs. He was completely naked. I thought I was gonna pass out—not from nerves, but how stinking hot he was. I didn't look at his crotch for very long, I was too worked up—but the rest of him was unreal. His legs were long and sinewy, God, even his feet looked good. When he rolled over briefly to toss his jeans off the bed, I caught a glimpse of booty.
Shit, I just want to bite that thing. Is that even normal?
"You look, um, wow. I've never seen a guy, like, I just…wow," I blabbered incoherently.
"Are you OK?" he asked, not wanting to freak me out. "I can put my clothes back on," he offered sweetly.
"Oh hell, no!" I blurted out. "I'm OK. I'm better than OK, Edward. I'm…so into you and how amazing you are—on the outside and the inside. You just…make me happy," I professed, stroking his stubbly cheek. I wanted to tell him everything in my heart, I wasn't afraid. I knew deep down inside that he would like hearing it, and that he felt the same way.
"You make me happy, too, Bella. And you're the prettiest, funniest, sweetest girl I've ever met," he professed back. "And you make awesome cupcakes," he added with a smirk. I grinned and laughed at that. I thought to myself that it must be true that a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
"Why, thank you, Edward. You can have my cupcakes anytime you want now," I said coyly. He didn't answer with actual words; he just made a nice, long 'mmm' sound. Hearing that made me smile and get all warm inside.
"Bella," he said softly. "Is it alright if you take your pants off too? I don't want you to be uncomfortable. If you'd rather not, that's fine. You're special to me, I don't want you to be upset or even feel weird," he said sweetly. Shit, I could've just cried at how thoughtful that was. He really did care about me. It wasn't about fooling around or getting laid for him. He wanted me to feel good. He couldn't feel good if I didn't too.
I nodded and watched him carefully peel off my jeans. Tossing them aside, he took my leg and slowly massaged it, from my foot to my thigh, then did the same with the other. I lay my head back, sighing and making happy sounds. He moved up slightly and kissed my navel. His whiskers on my skin were scratchy but I loved it anyway. Gently hooking his fingers around the sides of my panties, he lowered them off, kissing my legs as he went down.
"Hey," I said in a small voice.
"Hey, yourself," he replied, lying on his side next to me and smiling.
"We're both…naked," I observed nonsensically.
"You, Ms. Swan, are very observant," he noted playfully, shaking his head and smiling as he took a lock of my hair and twirled it around.
"Yeah, but we're both naked in the same room, at the same time," I said. "For some people, that's kind of a big deal. By some people, I mean me, by the way," I added, feeling all kinds of self-conscious, having given myself the chance to dwell on it.
"Do you want to put your clothes back on?"
"Not particularly, no."
"Then why are we talking about this?" he asked with a laugh.
"I guess I'm wondering if this will be a recurrent thing, you and I naked in the same room at the same time," I explained, petting his sideburn with the back of my finger.
"I wouldn't be naked right now if I thought it would be a one time thing. I've done that a few times and it's never as good as you'll think it'll be," he confessed, taking my hand and kissing it.
"I guess I just needed clarification is all," I said, trying to sound like less of an idiot.
"Bella, do you really think after tonight I wouldn't consider you my girlfriend?" he asked, looking a little insulted.
"I'm sorry I objectified you like that. I didn't mean to make you feel like a man-skank," I said, giggling. Maybe if I turned this into a joke it wouldn't be so awkward and ridiculous.
"That's OK, I'll get over it somehow," he laughed, running his hand up and down my side, along the path between my ribs and my hip. He kissed a trail from my lips, down my neck and all along my torso. He gently took my legs and bent them one at a time.
"I want to taste you, want to make you feel good," he murmured, looking up at me. I felt myself blush but just closed my eyes and let my head fall back. I felt his hands on the inside of my thighs, moving closer to the space between my legs. I was aching down there, wetter and more aroused than I'd ever been. I'd touched myself before, but this was…hot on a entirely new level.
He kissed my wet pink lips up and down, and then I felt his tongue glide over the same spots, making me moan and hiss. His tongue pressed harder until I felt it slip inside me. It was insanely erotic and made the skin on my entire body prickle up—him fucking me with his tongue.
"Fuck," I blurted out again. There wasn't anything else to say.
I felt him put his finger inside me as his tongue teased my clit. My mind just went completely blank. I grabbed a fistful of his hair, not wanting him to stop. His hands held my hips down, making me keep still and only take what he gave me. It was torture. Finally, he started licking and sucking harder and harder, and moving his finger faster. I bit my lip to keep from screaming. I looked down at Edward—he was staring right into my eyes. My body felt like it was on fire.
All those crazy excited urges I'd felt whenever I looked at Edward or thought about him over the last six months had been stored up inside me. Now they were all fusing together—every sigh, every skipped heartbeat, every blush, every longing for him to touch me…it all started coming together in one big mass, in a tight ball of energy. I screamed his name and instantly that ball of energy flew apart into a million little pieces like an atomic bomb. Every muscle inside me tightened, constricted, then relaxed. They did this over and over, until I lost track. I couldn't hear myself moaning and gasping, but I knew I was.
I opened my eyes and saw Edward's crooked smile between my legs. That was something I could get used to looking at. I reached for his arms and pulled him up. I wanted to kiss those magic lips, and I did before Edward rolled over onto his back. I straddled his hips, touching him everywhere. I was curious about every inch of his skin. I kissed him down that trail of hair that led to his groin. It was time to study this particular area in a bit more detail. He was not lacking in size. I swallowed back the panic I felt over what would happen if he tried putting that inside me. I wrapped my hand around the shaft and started stroking it up and down, making Edward groan and sigh my name.
I wanted him to feel good, just like he did for me. I kissed and licked the head and when I heard him make happy noises, I knew I was on to something. I'd seen the way women did this in porn a couple of times. I tried my best imitation, moving my head back and forth and sucking it like a popsicle. His skin down there tasted musky and salty; it was very 'manly.' He put his hands in my hair and his hips started moving, pumping himself in and out of my mouth faster and faster.
"Shit, your mouth, Bella, fucking sweet little mouth," he hissed through clenched teeth. His face got really intense when I looked up at him, like it was too much to look in my eyes while we were doing what we were doing. His brows knitted and that vein bulged out of his forehead.
"Gonna make me…make me…Oh God, Bella!" he gasped. He let out a long groan and I felt his dick move with little spasms while this disgusting, salty goo came out of it. I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to swallow it. I figured this was only fair—I was just pushing his face into my hoo-ha a little while ago. I finally let myself breathe again and move my head off of him.
Edward's eyes were closed and he had the most hilarious, yet adorable, look on his face. He was smiling but looked tired at the same time. His arms and legs just hung off him, like they didn't have bones in them. I was about to move to lie next to him when I noticed his third tattoo—it was on his hip, along the muscles that formed a 'v' on either side. It said 'Facta Non Verba' in small cursive letters.
"It means 'deeds, not words,'" he explained, looking down at me with one eye open as I studied the ink in his skin. "To remind myself to do good and not just talk about it," he added.
"Edward?" I whispered. "Will you show me…how you feel about me, and not just tell me, right now?" I asked, tilting my head to the side. His face broke into a huge smile.
"I'll show you everything, for as long as you want," he replied, flipping me over and hovering on top of me. I guess I must have said something right, because he was suddenly full of energy.
He kissed me softly and ran his hand down my neck and slowly toward my breast. I bent my knees and put my legs on either side of him. I embarrassed myself slightly by admitting to him that I'd been on the pill for the last six months hoping I'd one day sleep with someone. I think he knew I actually meant him, but he didn't say anything.
He gently pushed into me, very slowly. I took a deep breath and gasped when I felt the pain get really bad. It stung like crazy, and I clenched my jaw to keep saying 'ouch' out loud. It was better to just get this over with; I didn't want him to stop. It hurt but it felt good in other ways. I liked his strong body on top of me, how he looked at me and told me I was so beautiful. He wrapped his arms around me and made me feel safe and cared about. All those things made the pain easy to ignore.
"Are you alright? Sorry it hurts," he whispered in my ear. His voice had a strained hoarseness to it, like he was lifting something heavy. I liked the way it sounded; it was very sensual and masculine.
"It doesn't matter. I like that it's you, that you're the one I'm with," I whispered back. He smiled at me and kissed my lips.
"Do you want to see?" he asked. I looked down but couldn't really see from that angle. He took my legs by the back of my thighs and pushed them up so that my knees were near my elbows. I watched him. His face was fixed in concentration and he was biting his lower lip. His arms flexed from holding my legs. He rocked his pelvis back and forth, and I could see his cock stroke in and out of me—his body inside mine, fitting together like puzzle pieces. It was hot, erotic, romantic, natural, and beautiful. I finally knew what it was like to connect with another person on a really deep physical level.
"You feel amazing, Bella. I fit inside you like…I belong there," he murmured, putting my legs down and holding me in his arms again. I started to move my hips and wrapped my legs around his waist. It was like we were hugging each other while we were doing it, and that gave me a really contented feeling inside.
"You feel amazing too," I said.
Edward looked into my eyes as he started moving faster. His breath was coming in puffs and I could feel him tensing up.
"My beautiful…sweet girl…mine, mine, mine," he growled every time he thrust himself into me. I put my hands in his hair, balling them into fists.
"Yes, yours, yours," I moaned. I did belong to him. I'd had crushes and been hung up on guys before, even Edward. But this was different— special, magical, and it was just between us. I didn't want to share it with anyone else.
"Bella," he whispered in a strained voice. He stopped moving and closed his eyes. I felt him jerk inside me a few times, and he grunted with each one.
Resting his head on my shoulder, I kissed his forehead and stroked his hair. His lips made little smacking sounds on my neck and he hummed each breath he exhaled. He was happy. I could tell.
We rolled over and cuddled for a while, not talking, but petting and kissing and hugging our words to each other.
"So, what do you think, now that you've 'done it'?" he asked with a smile.
"It was…neat," I replied, very much on purpose. I tried my best not to laugh but couldn't hold back. He pretended to be mad, like I had insulted him.
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" I protested as he blew raspberries into my stomach to tickle me. He finally stopped and we went back to cuddling, with me resting my head on his shoulder. I looked down at the tattoo on his chest and kissed it lightly.
"No, being with you…it was this," I said, pointing to the Latin words inked permanently into his skin. He smiled at me and gave me a long, warm kiss.
Nulli Secundus…Second to none.