My first Jed/Oct!

It's mild and, I hope, amusing.


This fic is dated pre-Larry, before the evolution from friend to enemy

Cute Little Battle

"Manifest Destiny, boys!" A golden-haired cowpoke rode upon his thoroughbred, hair blowing in the wind. His Stetson was in his hand, was waved. "Let's get this done!"

"Yep!" came the resounding cry. "Yessiree!" and a few "Hell yeah's!" were peppered in, making the man laugh.

The cowboy, the obvious leader, tugged the reins of his horse to pull him over, squinted his eyes in the hot sun. "Another gorgeous night," he mused.

There was suddenly a muffled, terrified shout and the cowboy spurred his horse over to the edge of a cliff. He peered down at linoleum flooring where a man, a giant compared to the cowboy and his followers, was tied up and writhing on the floor. Shock and panic were reflected in his eyes as he continued to let out his muffled cries for help.

"Hey, there, partner! I suggest you hush up! You ain't in charge here! Ol' Jedidiah is," he said with a smirk, tilting his Stetson back.

"I should say not!" Jedidiah flicked his gaze to the left, taking in the familiar sight of Romans.

"Gosh darn it! Why ya gotta interrupt me?! I was 'bout to tell 'im 'bout Manifest Destiny!"

The Roman General's eyes narrowed and his hand went to the hilt of his sword. "None of us wish to hear anymore about this ridiculous notion of Manifest Destiny!"

"Ridiculous?! Are you outta you're ever lovin' mind?"

"I should say not," he replied, insulted.

"Yeah, well, I'm guessin' you are." He turned his fidgeting horse to the side, keeping his eyes on the General. "Seein' how you and you're so-called men're wearin' skirts!"

"They are not skirts!" the Roman shouted. "Men! At the ready?!"

"Huzzah!" they shouted as one.

The General's sword was whisked from its sheath. "Praise the gods! And go forth!" he hollered and they moved forward as one.

Jedidiah turned his head. "Hey! Y'all best git on over here 'fore we lose our claim to them skirt-wearin' sissies!"

"They are not skirts!" the General shouted, smooth baritone rising above the din of invading Romans and charging cowboys. "And we are not sissies!" he added, wondering what that term meant. As long as he and the Westerners had been beside each other in the Museum of Natural History, they had rarely conversed but for these shouting matches. During which, the golden-haired cowboy shouted the oddest of things.

Suddenly, he felt cool metal pressed to his temple, an arm around his neck. "Looks like I win, Octavious," Jedidiah whispered, lips brushing the Roman's ear. It wasn't loving, just accidental. These two men were sworn enemies, prepared to fight to the death.

"You are mistaken, Jedidiah." Eyes narrowed, the Roman's sword swung up, knocking the gun aside. Jedidiah looked to the gun as it hit the dirt flooring of his exhibit. Then, eyes narrowed, the cowboy swung from his saddle and sent his horse skedaddlin' with a smack on the rump before darting to the weapon.

Octavious, an honorable General, saw it unfitting to fight an equal – in rank, if nothing else – atop a horse when said equal had none. He swung down and charged the cowboy with a deafening roar.

The cowboy's leg swung out at the last second, toppling the Roman. "Ha!"

"Ha, this!" he shouted, swinging his sword out.

It hit Jedidiah's boot, leaving a slight scuff. "Ouch! Darn it!"

Octavious scowled at his sword. He could've sworn he'd sharpened his blade just the night before. Using his distraction, Jedidiah kicked out, striking the metallic breast plate of the Roman's armor. He swore, jumping to one foot, clutching the other.

Octavious was quickly on his feet as well, stabbing his sword at the hopping Westerner. "Will you halt this and fight like a man?"

"Ha! I am fightin' like a man! Don't see me in a skirt, do ya?"

With a furious howl, Octavious struck, this time smacking the flat edge of his sword against Jedidiah's cheek. "Ow!" the cowboy whined.

And Octavious shielded his sword with a decisive nod. "Well, Jedidiah, it would seem that I've won."

"Damn skirt-wearin'–"

"I beg your pardon?"

"A REAL man don't have to beg!"

"You-you…! Argh! You are mightily insufferable!"

Jedidiah smirked. "Guess I won this battle o' words, partner." He nudged the Roman back a step and walked past, the men around them slowly going back to what they'd been doing. Jedidiah swung onto his horse with a whoop and a wave of his hat. "C'mon, boys! Back ta work!"

Still sputtering, Octavious located his horse and jumped astride. "Let us go, men! You have all fought bravely! For Jupiter!"

"For Jupiter!" they echoed and charged off.

Octavious and Jedidiah looked at one another, each with narrowed eyes. Though they both had the exact same thought, it was quickly repressed. 'He's so cute…'

Hope you enjoyed!