Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
(A.N: For Different Child. You inspire WAY too many of these random fics, you know!)
Padfoot does Divination
By Silver Sailor Ganymede
Sirius, James and Remus were sitting in the Great Hall. They had left Peter to sleep in, assuring him that they would tell their professors he was ill (when in fact James and Sirius had no such intention, merely wanting to see the other boy get into trouble for once). Remus was staring at his book, James was staring at Lily Evans, and Sirius was staring intently into a teacup.
A perfectly normal morning then – except for Sirius' belated attempts at trying to read tealeaves out of sheer boredom.
"Hi Evans," James called out. "Umm, nice robes you're wearing today."
"They're my school robes," Lily said shortly. "You've seen them hundreds of times before – why bother commenting now."
"They look… nice… that's all," James stuttered out, but Lily had already gone.
"Ah, my dear boy, your wit is sharp, though rather dulled when beautiful girls enter the equation," Sirius said to James in a tone of voice which was evidently meant to be mysterious but fell far short of the mark. It seemed like he had gotten bored of tasseomancy and moved on to something else.
"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus groaned, glancing up at Sirius with a look of utter exasperation on his face.
"Why I'm channeling the Sorting Hat, of course!" Sirius replied indignantly.
"You do realize that if you channeled the Sorting Hat then you would technically be chanelling an amalgamation of the spirits of four different people," Remus sighed. "And that's not possible. Professor Odhar told us that last term!"
"I don't care what she thinks," Sirius replied, momentarily forgetting that he was supposed to be channeling the spirit of the Sorting Hat as soon as he was presented with an opportunity to insult their divination professor. "Odhar's just crazy and we all know it. I predict that she will haunt us until the end of our O. W. Ls before finally retiring only a handful of years after we leave school," he said in a melodramatic impression of the old witch. "Ah yes, a rather insane one, that Odhar. Evidently she is sure to have been a Slytherin!" he shouted the last word out to the hall, trying badly once again to imitate the Sorting Hat, then toppled backwards off the chair just as Marlene McKinnon walked past, much to his dismay.
"Mr. Prongs thinks Mr. Padfoot his finally lost his marbles," James said, "And that Mr. Padfoot will never be able to get a date with Miss. McKinnon if he persists in making himself appear a complete prat in front of her."
"Mr. Moony agrees with Mr. Prongs," Remus said. "And also predicts with great certainty that Mr. Moony is going to achieve a T in his divination O.W.L – especially if he persists in trying to 'channel the Sorting Hat'."
"Shut up you two," Sirius muttered. "You know this is the last time I ever take advice from Andromeda. I never should have taken divination in the first place!"