The horrible second part of iDon't Want To Tell You. Throw fruit if you must.

DISCLAIMER: I think I owned a goldfish once.

I knew Melanie wasn't real. Sam couldn't fool me this time, she admitted it herself. I feel smug as I grab a Peppy Cola from our fridge and head out to the fire escape. My lawn chair still resides there. It's a perfect spot to think. Or reminisce…No, bad Freddie. It meant nothing.

I tell myself this as I drop into the chair and crack the soda. I can see part of the street and most of the alleyway from here. It's amusing to see all the crazy people that pass by.

But wait…if Melanie doesn't exist…then that means that Sam has kissed me twice. And I lived?! Something doesn't add up. And I prefer when things add up. It means that things are how they should be. Which is not the case now. Egh, I'm hurting my own brain.

As I take a swig of Peppy Cola, I notice three girls by the alley mouth. One brunette, two blondes. They look familiar, but it couldn't be my best friends. Right?

Suddenly one of the girls, a blonde, sits down on the sidewalk, right at the edge of the alley. I can see her better now. It's Sam. And the brunette is obviously Carly. But that third girl…the second blonde…it couldn't be…could it? Sam said she didn't exist. Well, Sam is a liar. One way to know for sure, I guess.

Fencing makes one incredibly agile. I set down my drink on the steps and swing down, using the fire escape bars instead of the stairs to climb to the street. It's not as hard as you might think.

I hear something about ham as I creep towards them, careful to keep into the shadows. Typical Sam, always wanting food. But she didn't seem like her usual meat craving self then. More like she just wanted to change the subject. She's obviously not comfortable with the topic. Carly snaps her fingers in Sam's face. Sam breathes, like she's bracing herself for something unpleasant, obviously reluctant to share whatever she's about to unveil. I listen harder.

"And…we kissed." She keeps on going with her revelation, trying to explain, but my stomach has plummeted and I don't really hear her. I know what she's talking about. Our kiss on the fire escape. The one we swore we'd never tell anyone about. What is she doing? Why is she telling them?

Them…holy Fat Cakes, Melanie exists. I wasn't even paying attention to the third girl, I was too caught up with what Sam was saying and keeping quiet in my hiding spot. Which must mean that Melanie asked Sam about what I said last night. This is my fault! Oh crud.

Carly looks amused and surprised. That was predictable. And Melanie…oh man, she looks angry. And not even angry like Sam. She looks angry like disappointed pouty angry. It's sort of funny. Sam would never let that look on her face. It's too…girly. Sam has gotten to her feet.

"You kissed Freddie?" Carly asks. "And he lived?" I stifle a snort of laughter. Wasn't I just thinking that?

Sam looks panicked. "Yes, scream it to the world, why don't ya? Carls, you can't tell anybody. I wasn't supposed to tell anybody." Well at least she's got the decency to look guilty. That's a start on remorse.

"I promise. I'm just in shock, that's all." Carly looks even more amused as Sam's freaked out expression cools into gratitude for her best friend. A second later, though, the panic is back in her eyes as she looks at her twin. (I cannot wrap my mind around that!)

"You have to promise, too."

Melanie doesn't say anything, just holds up her hands in a gesture that I guess Sam understands, because she nods and begins to walk away with the other two trailing like puppies. I stand, pressed against the wall, partly in shock and partly confused. I thought a promise meant something to her.

My ears catch something else though. It's Melanie's voice, distinguishable from Sam's by the higher tone and sweetness dripping from every syllable.

It says, presumably to Sam, "You can have him."

How am I supposed to interpret that? Apparently Sam doesn't know either, because she doesn't answer. All I know is that I'm not bringing it up. I'll just go swing back up to my lawn chair, finish my Peppy Cola, and wait for them to get back. We'll all live like nothing happened and that I still think that Melanie was Sam in disguise. It's what's best for everyone.

I suddenly got the urge to write iCarly again. And POOF! The second part of iDon't Want To Tell You was born. It could have been from Sam's POV again, but I decided I wanted to write Freddie. My twisted mind rejected four different ideas for this two shot. I doubt I'll write anything else for this, not unless I get that writing bug again.

Oh, and I get notified if you favorite without reviewing. You go on my blacklist. I get your username and the link to your profile. So don't think that I don't get annoyed. That's what happened last time I posted an iCarly fic. I used to do that until it happened to me. I realized how annoying that is. I can live if you read and forget to review, but to favorite without reviewing is plain rude. I'm glad that you like it enough to favorite, but please, feedback is more appreciated.

And since none of you are actually reading this...Go away. I'm bitter right now and not my usual nice self.