Queen Of Hearts

A memoir from Chiba Mamoru, as re_told to: Pandora Diane MacMillan
E-mail: pandora-sama@home.com

@))~~))~~~~August 3, 2001(Mamoru's birthday!)~~~~((~~((@


Usagi tossed restlessly in her sleep, tangling the blankets as she fretted over Mamoru's recent behaviour. Did he really love her? If he did, why did he spend so much time fussing over Chibi Usa? " I just don't understand him," she muttered to herself. "I don't understand him at all...."


"Ah my poor little Princess," said a slightly mocking voice. "The once and future Queen. And this is how he treats you....tsk, tsk, tsk." A hand reached out, and slowly, slyly, the blankets slid down off Usagi. She suddenly felt the cold air on her skin, and wondered if this was a nightmare.

But then she felt a fleeting touch of lips on her neck. "Pretty, so pretty," continued the voice. "Even in pyjamas. But hardly worthy of a future queen, my dear. But..." and here she heard a low chuckle, "we can fix that."

Usagi felt her skin tingling. When she opened her eyes, startled, there was a whirling blackness in the room. Her skin continued to tinkle, and she felt her pyjamas dissolving on her, just as her clothes tended to do when she transformed to Sailor Moon. Yet this was an entirely different feeling. There was a sudden sensation of warmth, and when she looked down at herself, she was arrayed in a shimmering off_the shoulder white gauzy dress, down to her ankles, trimmed with deep gold, and festooned with pearls and tiny winking diamonds. She blinked, and the gown was still there.

"Impossible!" she heard herself cry, and without even knowing she had moved, found herself standing up beside her bed. Yet, no bare feet hit the cold floor. Her feet touched the ground with a little tap of heels. She tugged at the hem of the gown to see, and to her wonderment, she found she was wearing matching white satin pumps, also trimmed with pearls and diamonds.

"I'm dreaming!" she moaned, bewildered. "I *must* be dreaming!"

"A dream, that you are," answered the voice she had heard before. "MY dream, MY Queen." Usagi gasped as she felt hands on her bare shoulders. And there he was, looking at her. She could have sworn there had been no one in the room, a moment before. She had to crane her neck up to meet the eyes fixed on hers, so tall he was. Hair to his shoulders, so fair as to be white. A pale skin, and penetrating eyes that glittered and seemed to see not only her, but through her, to the thoughts inside, as well. All dressed in white he was, his tunic richly embroidered in brocade, his body slim, his posture one of someone used to command.

He was smiling at her, and the smile was knowing, mocking. No man had ever looked at her, and through her, like that before. Part of her wanted to run, yet another part of her was rivetted to the spot.

She seemed to hear little disembodied voices in her head. "Leave?" they said. "Why would you leave? Leave, and miss all the fun? More fun than YOU'VE ever had, little girl!"

That did it! A little girl? A little girl? Me, 14 years old, a little girl? How dare he suggest that! She felt her cheeks flush hot with the perceived insult, as her anger overwhelmed the uneasy feelings pervading her, that she was being manipulated.

He was still gazing at her with that mocking smile.

"I'm not afraid of you!" her voice ended on a squeak, spoiling the whole effect.

The smile broadened into a wolfish grin. "I'm so glad to hear that, my dear. How sensible you are. How sensible, and so, so mature! You have no idea how long I've waited, how far I've come, just so I could talk to you like this_alone, without that interfering Endymion horning in on our conversation. Oh, by the way, I do hope you like the gown I have chosen for you. It's just a little token of my affection, and esteem for you, my dear Queen Serenity."

The sky blue eyes widened then_the fear was back in her. "Endymion-_Serenity? Why do you call us that?"

"But how thoughtless of me!" he replied, smiling knowingly. "No one has yet told you the fabulous future that awaits you, my dear. And why wait for it, years and years of boredom, going to...." and here he let out a long, mocking, drawl, "schooool! Your Serene Highness needn't concern herself with tedious mathematics and literature, no, no, no. Not when there are so many more pleasurable activities available...and I would be your teacher, my pearl."

Wide sky blue eyes stared at him."You called me...WHAT did you call me?"

The tall slim man casually uncrossed his ankles and silently, on booted feet, crossed the room to where she stood. As he came close to her, she saw the glint of black diamond_shaped earrings in the moonlight. A memory teased at the corner of her mind...hadn't Rubeus worn earrings like that?

Now the sense of alarm was definite, but now he was close, so close. He laid long tapering fingers on her arms, pulling her still closer to him...and his fingers were like ice, ice and fire. The glittering eyes looked deep into hers, and slowly, she began to feel weariness overtake her.

"Sleepy, so sleepy..." she murmured.

"That's right," she heard his voice, crooning, soothing, as if from somewhere far, far away. "There's nothing to be frightened of, my pearl. And so many pleasures for us to explore, so much together. Let me touch you, my Serenity, let me show you..." His voice gradually lowered to a whisper as she felt his breath on her lips, his own lips inches away.

She felt herself sink deeper, deeper, into a well of inky blackness. A little voice told her she ought to resist, that she shouldn't be doing this. She was having trouble standing, she was so dizzy. Abruptly, she stumbled backward, and awkwardly, knocked over the vase that stood on her dresser. The slim man reached to stop her fall, but she toppled backwards so quickly that he lost his grip on her.

The roses fell into her hand and trying to brace her fall, her hand closed on one perfect bloom. The petals crushed in her hand, and the cold water splashed on her arm.

"What the...?" she sputtered, and stared at her wet arm, which was, for the moment, free. She stared at the crushed red petals, and in her mind, saw a steel tipped rose impale itself in the wall, and saw a face, a face she knew so well, earnest and sad.

"Mamo_chan!" she wailed. "Mamo_chan! Nobody must ever kiss me, but Mamo_chan!"

The tall man closed his hands into fists. "Stupid, foolish girl! You don't know what you're giving up! You could rule the universe with me. But if you won't come willingly, there are other ways." His smile was dangerous now, and he lunged for her.

Usagi screamed, a long thin high scream, as she saw those hands reaching for her again. The hands touched her neck, and began shaking her, shaking her violently. She screamed again.

Then a familiar voice spoke, "Usagi_chan! Wake up, wake up, you're having a dream."


Usagi blinked wide eyed at a rather angry and very wet Luna. "Usagi_chan, next time you decide to walk in your sleep, do you mind not knocking over a vase of cold water on me?"

Usagi's bedraggled black cat frowned at her. "What will your mother say about this mess?"

And indeed, the bedroom looked like a tornado had hit it. Water was splashed all over Luna, was still dripping off the dresser and onto the floor. There were rose petals scattered everywhere, all over the bed sheets, all over Usagi's pyjamas and squishing wetly under her bare feet. The naked thorny green stems were hanging precariously off the edge of the dresser, still in the tilted_over vase, which had somehow not broken in its tumble. Usagi realized her fist was still closed on something, and saw the red rose petals in it, somewhat crushed, but when she held the petals to her nose, the scent was still there.

A folded note, tucked in amongst the roses, which had lain unnoticed until then, released by the tumbling vase, was now on the floor, but a small pool of water was threatening it. Usagi quickly scooped it out of the way, before the water could smear the ink, and opened the note. Luna tried to look over her shoulder to read the note, but Usagi turned her back to Luna, and read the note:

"I don't know what I said or did to hurt you, Usako. But whatever it is, I'm sorry.-_Mamoru."

Usagi folded the note again, and stuffed it in her transformation brooch, before Luna could get a peek, much to the feline mentor's frustration.

Slowly, Usagi smiled, much to Luna's bewilderment. She picked up the vase and righted it on the dresser, took a small empty jar with a stopper from the top of the dresser, and placed the petals in her hand in the jar. "Tell you what, Luna. I know how you love sticking your little pink nose into my perfumes and colognes. I'll pick up all these rose petals, put them in this jar, and make potpourri. That way, we can still have the scent of roses, long after these cut roses would have died anyway. Cause real love lasts, like the scent of roses, they say. I'm sure Mamo_chan would be pleased if I did that with his gift to me."

Usagi then began mopping up the spilled water and scooping up the rose petals to put them in the potpourri jar, then she disposed of the rose stems in the composter, where they would in time, fertilize more roses. Lastly, she took her wet bed linens to the washing machine to be laundered, all the while singing softly to herself. Luna stared up at her mistress for a long moment. "Well!" she said finally. "It's so refreshing to see you cleaning up your room CHEERFULLY for a change! So...just what IS potpourri?"

Usagi leaned down and smiled mysteriously. "You'll find out!" she replied. And with that, she stoppered the potpourri jar and put it behind her other cologne bottles on her dresser. Luna looked up at the jar with a faraway and almost wistful expression on her face. Usagi watched her small friend covertly. Could her small and stern feline friend secretly be a romantic? Nahhh....that's impossible, Usagi thought, shaking her head in firm denial.

Still humming to herself, Usagi began brushing her long blonde locks before the mirror and binding them into her trademark odango.


It's August 3, 2001--Mamoru's birthday. For four years running, since 1997, I've posted a fanfic to the Net as my birthday present to My Only 2D Lust ;-) . Our Mamo-chan is nothing if not a traditionalist at heart, so I know he'd want me to keep up this well_loved tradition. /(^_~)\

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BTW, my RL Mamoru, Tim Nolan [who probably needs no introduction to readers of Sailor Moon fanfics], sent ME some gifts in honour of the occasion: an amethyst silver flower brooch, and the obligatory anime items: a SonMay CD, "Madoka's Piano Files" [I named my youngest daughter, Madoka, in honour of the ethereal beauty, Madoka, in "Kimagure Orange Road"], and a videotape of Episodes 33 _ 36 of "Kodomo no Omocha" ["Child's Toy" in English].

My UTARPA friend, Dave Greenlaw, says I am the living image of Sana's Mama-san [a.k.a. She Who Must Be Obeyed, With LARGE MALLET ;p]. Certainly, I can be as outrageous and feisty as she is, though I DON'T have an exotic chapeau with a live squirrel in it ;p

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If you enjoyed this fanfic, please drop me an e_mail at my *NEW* e-mail address: pandora-sama@home.com

I have finally decided to get a high_speed cable modem connection, so I had to change ISPs. May Rogers@home be as good a "home" on the Web to me as the Internet Direct folks (now Look) have been.

My main web site is also moving to:
{ HYPERLINK "http://members.home.net/pandora-sama/index.html" }

I expect to have all my web stuff uploaded by September, 2001. In the meantime, my old site at: { HYPERLINK "http://webhome.idirect.com/~pandora1sama" }

will still be working.



Pandora Diane MacMillan of Crystal Toronto, Canada
ICQ: 3471229 Mamoru's Official Biographer /(^_~)\
See my Sailor Moon fan fiction at *NEW* site:
New site will be ready by September 2001.