Sarge stood in front of his team looking very serious behind him neo lights flashed brilliantly. Grif stood with his mouth open in shock, "You're shitting me, right?"

"Nope, before our reassignments we're to have some leave here in New Vegas. We are to stay in the Nexus Hotel-that's the big triangle one over there." It was a huge cybernetic pyramid. "And I am from this moment on, not your commanding officer."

"YES!" Grif yelled, prying off his helmet, releasing his shaggy blonde hair. "This is going to be the best weekend ever! All on the military's dime!"

"Shut up! Me and donut get one room and you and Simmons get the other."

"What?!" Simmons cried in protest.

"Don't be a baby." Grif said nonchalant, "I don't plan on being there much anyway. There are chicks here!" He point to a woman in a bright sequins outfit.

Simmons let out a sigh, "alright fine."

"Alright then, here are your keys! There are some leisure clothes waiting in the rooms."

He tossed them their keys and Simmons and Grif ran toward the hotel. Donut missed the throw and ran very girlie to fetch them.

Simmons got to the elevator first and stuck out his tongue as the doors closed. Grif ran to the stairs. Simmons got to the floor, to find the door already open Grif had already picked the bed he wanted, "Dibs!" He yelled, panting heavily.


Grif smirked and sat up, clicking the breast plate open, "Don't be a sore loser."

Simmons eyes went wide, "what are you doing?"

"Taking this armor OFF!" He threw it off and on the ground. It was then Simmons realized he'd never seen Grif without it. He was surprised at how tan and muscled he was, considering he never saw Grif with it off before and he was a lazy fucktard. "I'm so tired of lugging it around." Now he was in only the black body suit. He went to his closet. As Simmons concentrated on his armor. "I plan on getting, wasted and betting the allowance they gave us for this week on poker tables with hot dealers." he pulled out a plain black shirt Hawaiian style shirt, "I love these people." Then a pair of blue jeans with rips and tears, very rock and roll, he grinned. Not noticing his teammates intense stare straight ahead of him as he peeled off the body suit to change.

Simmons lightly set down his armor and opened his own closet, maroon shirt, black pants. Nothing special. He pulled out his ponytail, shaking out the brown locks with a sigh. "I don't know about this. A weekend in this place could really put a strain on moral-"

"Shut up and man up, Simmons." He said pulling on some black biker boots. Then standing and pulling up Simmons from his own bed, "Let's just have some fun? Sarge's orders."

Simmons let himself be led out to the elevator. "We leave Monday morning."

"I know. But it's Saturday night so, let's paint this town red." He smirked as the elevator descended, "Unless you're chicken."

The maroon soldiers eyes narrowed, "Let's do this."

Grif grinned, "Finally!"

Downstairs was a casino. The slot machines blinked and whirled and it was all color and lights. "Time to get some cash." He said, dragging him over to get chips. Grif got his entire allowance in chips and Simmons sighed, he'd have to buy dinner obviously. The sat at the first poker table Grif saw with a woman in a tiny top and tight pants. The games was Texas Hold'em and Grif lost all his chips in four hands. Simmons had, however won eight out of ten hands. Grif cheer Simmons on from next to him. By the time they walked away Simmons had won seven times his original amount, "How did you do that?"

"Half of my brain is a computer, remember? It naturally counts the cards and calculates the odds."

Grif grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the roulette wheel, "Then let's get some more."

"You're hopeless."

"Which one?"

Simmons mind ran the numbers, "Red 14." Grif grabbed all Simmons chips and placed them on that number.

"Grif!" It landed on Red 14.

"Woohoo! Yes!" He turned grabbed Simmons face a kissed him before going back and collecting the chips. And yelling some more.

Simmons blinked, dazed. "Holy shit."

"Time to implement phase two. Drinks on you!" He said with a laugh. Simmons just stared at him. "Let's go." He said shaking his head and pushing his friend toward the cash out center. 650,000 credits. "You are rich, dude." He said handing over 600,000 of the money.

"What about that?" He said pointing to the 50,000 Griff was now depositing into the bank in HIS name.

"Service charge."

"What? First you take my first kiss, then my money?"

Girf looked back at him, blinking. The clerk was drooling now. The orange soldier smirked, "You'd never kissed somebody before? Sorry man, I got a little excited. Oh well, it'll be an awesome story to tell your new team mates."

Simmons winced, he'd forgotten, after this he was probably never going to see Grif again. He wasn't sure how he felt about that. "Yeah, my new team."

"Let's go get shit faced!" He put an arm around his friend's shoulders and led him out onto the street.

"I don't drink, Grif. It's bad for you."

"A lot of things in life are bad for you but you know what? You can't stop that from letting you do what you want." Grif smiled a movie star smile, "You only live once right?" Simmons sighed, Grif was bad for him. He made him reckless and agitated and stubborn and selfish and self-destructive. But also- "Barkeep! Get me and my lovely friend here s'more rum!" He also made Simmons heart skip beats.

"And stay out!" Simmons and Grif laughed as they landed on the sidewalk.

Grif stood offering a hand to Simmons who took it. "Let's find another one."

Simmons looked across the street, "Oh wait! What about a club! They have more of those fruity drinks too right!"

Grif looked at the club through his drunken fog, "Not that one. Let's look for a different one." But then Grif saw Sarge coming their way, "Shit! It's Sarge."

"Where?" But before he knew it Simmons was dragged behind two guys standing in line for a club next to the bar they were just thrown out of. "Why are we hiding?"

Grif stammered, "Um- We- We don't want Sarge to drink all those colorful drinks you love before you get a chance to right?"

Simmons smiled, "Okay! Wow, that's real nice of you, Dex." Grif blushed and peered around the men.

"Hey! You two at the end." They turned, the bouncer with the velvety rope was waving to them.

"Us?" They asked.

"Yeah, you guys can come in." They looked at each other and shrugged. Skipping to the head of the line.

"Thanks, mister."

"Well, my boss says if we don't fill our 'Hot Quota' by twelve, I'm screwed out of a job. You two just put me over it. So thanks."

"'Hot Quota?" Simmons asked. As he followed Grif in, still in his alcohol daze.

Grif grinned and put an arm around his friend's waist, "It means we're sexy as hell." Simmons eyes went wide, "Don't look so surprised! Oh I love this song!" Simmons had never heard it before but the way Grif strutted away to the dance floor made him want to learn. His hips swung back and forth to the beat, "1, 2, 3, 4! Uno dos tres cuatro!" His friend screamed with the others. His eyes met Simmons and he beckoned him just as the speakers blared, I know you want me. Simmons swallowed as the latino beat pulled them away. Grif pulled him in, "We picked one crazy club you know that?" Simmons looked around: All Men. All men grinding on each other.

"OH GOD!" But Grif just chuckled, and pulled him closer.

"When in Rome." That was all he had to say, and Simmons was lost to the beat of the club and the feel of the hot, hard body against him. He forgot Grif was to be hated, he forgot they were straight, he forgot he was in a sea of gay men practically having sex through their clothes. He forgot he was one of those men. He could only feel. He felt Grif plastered against him, their hard ons grinding together eyes never leaving each other and he felt a warm tender emotion under the passion and desire. He was afraid to acknowledge it. Man had it been lonely in that canyon. "God, I love Rome." Grif Whispered breathlessly. Simmons nodded in agreement. Then was when Grif kissed him hard and passionately not caring who saw. Simmons didn't resist. If he'd been thinking he'd have pushed him away, and ran. But all he did was feel Grif. Grif's tongue caressing his, Grif's heart beat going faster, Grif's pants getting tighter, Grif pulling him off to a dark corner after buying two shots from a women with a tray. That's when things started to get out of control.

Simmons didn't move afraid to wake up the beast. He didn't know how they got here or how this happened but Grif going to be pissed. "Oh shit." He whispered. Trying to slowly pull out of his teammate's grip. All the sleeping man did was pull him closer and Simmons blushed. "Grif?" He said poking the tan shoulder. It was now or never and Grif's morning wood press against him was making him hard. "Grif, wake up."

Grif yawned, "What?" He said sleepily, rolling on his back and rubbing his eye before stopping abruptly, realizing where he was, "Holy SHIT! He said scrambling to get out of the bed and falling flat on his ass on the floor with some of the sheets that had followed him. "What the fuck, man!"

"I could ask you the same question."

Grif let out a nervous laugh standing with the sheets wrapped around his waist to cover him., "Ha ha, this is- We couldn't possibly have-" He looked down and picked up a condom wrapper, "Oh god." Then he looked at his hand, a gold class ring with a ruby sparkled on his left ring finger, it said Dick Simmons on one side above the emblem of the AV club. "OH GOD!" He dropped the wrapper. "What is this shit!?" Simmons looked at his own finger, A gold band with a garnet, "Holy FUCK! THAT'S MINE!" That's when they saw the DVD case that said I DO's By Kyle On the front sitting on the night stand. Grif put it in there player with a shaky hand, sitting on the edge of the bed. Simmons hadn't moved, still shocked. There they were on the screen making out. A priest like man stood in the background.

"Do you… Come on you guys let me finish… Fine, do you Dick Simmons take Dexter Grif to be your husband, for better or for worse-?" Simmons gave a thumbs up, "And do you Dexter Grif take-" Grif gave the thumbs up as well. "then… You may come up for air?"

They pulled apart and pressed their foreheads together. Video-Grif turned to the camera, "See this man? He's mine, don't get any ideas. And Sarge he takes orders from me, bitch." Simmons was nodding happily, then began to kiss Grif's neck, "Let's get back to the hotel. Can you believe he wouldn't do it unless we got married?"

"You know you wanted to." Simmons said kissing Grif again, "I would have done you back in that canyon if you'd just stopped being an ass. God you're hot." Then it stopped.

Grif's head was in his hands. Simmons finally found some words, "I'm calling Sarge."

"You are not calling Sarge." Grif snapped dangerously.

"We're MARRIED, DIPSHIT! Did you not see that video-"

"I know! I'm thinking, okay?" His head shot up, "Calling Sarge, is only going to make things worse… Would you're computer half be able to remember last night? Maybe it wasn't legally binding… Maybe we didn't get that far."

"I'll try-"

"Play it back!" Simmons concentrated and then click, it was as if he'd pressed download and all his memory from last night reappeared, he blushed furiously, "Well?"

"I've never done this before." Simmons whispered in between two deep, breathtaking kisses. He was well aware he was trembling.

"Me neither."

"Are you scared?"

Grif looked at him softly, sweetly… Lovingly? "A little. I've wanted you so long. I can't begin to imagine what I did to deserve you… You're beautiful." Then all the sex, heart-stoppingly tender to ass-rippingly rough. Then they laid there for what felt like eternity, just breathing. Just before he drifted off he heard the most beautiful thing to ever pass through his ear canals, "I love you."

He blinked, almost tearing up. Information overload. "At least you used a condom, right hubby?"

"Arrggh!" He pounded the bed. Simmons felt like crying in joy and frustration. This was the man who last night had cradled him in his arms for three hours after they'd had lots of rough gay sex and, just before they fell asleep, whispered he loved him. It was a little weird to think about. It was hard to process. That it was a man was a bit of a shock, that it was Grif was… Okay that was all a lie. He knew how he felt around Grif. He knew how he looked at Grif. He knew and chose to ignore it. He couldn't ignore it anymore. "This isn't how this was suppose to happen." Grif whispered.

He scooted to the end of the bed just a few inches away, "You wanted something like this to happen?"

"No!" he said a little to quickly, "I'm going to go take a shower." He said standing up and hurrying to the bathroom. Simmons bit back a laugh. Grif had picked up the sheets around him and practically waddled to the bathroom. Simmons got up with his sheets when Grif didn't turn on the shower. He knocked lightly on the door.

"Hey, are you alright?"

"Fine! Just fine."

"Are you sure?"

There was a pause, "No."

"What's wrong?"

"This is all my fucking fault! But I don't- I can't-! FUCK!" There was a pause, "I'm sorry." That was soft and sweet and so like last nights Grif. It dawned on him that Grif was being shy. He smiled at the closed door. Grif didn't know how Simmons felt about this.

"Don't be. You were actually… Really nice." Grif opened the door a crack.


"Yeah. And sweet. Not like you're usual asshole self that is for sure."

Another pause. "I didn't hurt you?"

"Well…" He smirked, "I am a little sore. I could use a shower too."

Girf blinked, "Oh. You can have it first, I can wait." He opened the door and moved past him. Simmons grabbed him at the last minute, letting his sheets fall to the ground.

"I was kind hoping you'd help."

Grif's eyes went wide and he dropped his sheets in shock and perhaps awe. "Oh." He then allowed himself to be pulled into the bathroom.

That night Grif and Simmons in the bed Grif had called dibs on the day before. They hadn't left the room and ordered room service for food. They'd spent the day talking and kissing and screwing and talking, since they didn't remember much about the night before. Well, Grif didn't. A bottle of whiskey sat on Grif's side, rum on Simmons, Grif was on his back with Simmons head resting on his arm. "Okay my turn. When's the first time you checked out my ass?

"Nope, not telling."

"It's you're turn! I told you my most embarrassing moment at base, I told you how many woman I've had sex with AND I've told you I told you about that time me and Donut-"

"Fine…" Simmons blushed scarlet, "You remember when we first met and you turned to walk back into base?"

"I KNEW IT!" He said with a laugh, "I knew! I knew! I knew!"

"My gosh I didn't realize you thought I was such a whore."

Girf chuckled and pressed his forehead to Simmons, "I was hoping you were."

"Okay my turn." He took a deep breath, "When did you first realize you felt this way about me?"

"That first night after surgery when I undressed and looked at myself in the mirror, I couldn't stop touching the parts that had been your's. I decided that denial was making me crazy and I jerked myself off like mad for a few hours."

Simmons leaned in and kissed him, "That is so unromantic."

"You want romantics, talk to Donut." He stared in his lover… No his HUSBANDS eyes. "What about tomorrow? What then? I just got you."

"When we're out of this military. I'd like to see Hawaii with you… If that's alright."

"That could take years." Grif said, pouting.

Simmons smiled, "We've waited this long. What's a few more years?"

"We could be old and fat by then."

Simmons snorted, "Not me, I'm growing younger every minute." He smirked as Grif pretended to nod very seriously.

"Very true. So I'll have to still love you even when you're voice changes back and you have acme."

Simmons grinned again, "And I'll still love you when you're going bald and have erectile dysfunction."

"Don't forget being in jail for pedophilia. You're just lucky I love you, ass munch."

Simmons leaned in and kissed him, "I love you too, shit head."

There was a knock at the door and they jumped, "Who the fuck is that?"

Simmons sighed, "How should I know, Grif?"


The pair looked at each other, exasperated, "Donut."


"I'll go get rid of him." He said standing, "Stay."

Simmons chuckled, "Did you seriously think I was going somewhere?"




He opened the door in a pair of boxer, angry now, "What is fucking- AH!" Donut practically pounce on him as soon as he opened the door, tackling him to the ground and pinning him, "Shit, what the fuck Do-" But Donut had stuck his tongue down his throat. When he came up for air, he whispered in his ear.

"Oh come on, just a little fun! Sarge was mean and kicked me out when I-"

There was a click, "GET. OFF. HIM. NOW." Simmons had his gun to Donut's head.


"OFF!" Donut put his hands up, and slowly stood,. Simmons looked a little scary. Grif found it a major turn on. Simmons grabbed him by the collar and threw him out the door. He leaned down and growled, "Mine."

Grif laughed, "Oh my gosh he can be such a slut-" Simmons was straddling him now. His hands roaming over Grif's chest.

"That wasn't a nice feeling."

"What wasn't?"

"When I saw him just… Jump on you like that."

Grif tilted his head up inquisitively, "Jealous?" Simmons nodded, "Well, I think you're just going to have to show me who's I am around here."

Simmons grinned, And leaned down to kiss him. "I like this idea."

Their alarm went off at seven the next morning. Simmons sighed, curled up in Grif's arms, "Today's the day."


"I've never been this unhappy to get back to work." He swatted Grif's shoulder with no real anger or energy, "This is your fault. Your laziness is spreading."

Grif kissed his jaw line, "Bite me."

"Haven't you had enough of that?"

Grif snorted, "No." They got up and dressed in there armor. Before he put on his helmet he pulled Simmons into his embrace one more time. Their armor clanged together and they laughed, "One for the road?" Simmons pressed his lips to his blonde teammates one last time and breathed him in. "You going to miss me?" He asked when they parted.



"What you say right now before we have to walk out that door."

Grif smiled again, "Okay then. You are amazing, Mr. Richard Grif. I don't tell you enough. I can't wait to show you Hawaii."

Simmons tried to blink back tears, "Why do I have to take your last name?"

"Because Grif is shorter." He let Simmons go and squeezed his hand, "Time to go."

"This sucks." they opened the door, "You ready to act like none of this happened?"

"Yeah. But I won't like it." They went downstairs to find Sarge and Donut waiting.

Sarge growled, "You nancy boys are late."

"Sorry, Sarge. This ass wipe was taking his good old sweet time."

"Hey, I was relishing it for just a bit longer."

"Well, here is your new assignments." Sarge handed them all envelopes, "God speed, Simmons. Suck it, Grif." Donut pouted. "You can suck it too Donut."


Simmons and Grif tore open their envelopes. They read them in disbelief, then switched. Simmons jaw dropped, "You've been promoted!"

"You're assigned to my team! Awesome…" Sarge raised an eye brow, "That means I get to order you around and stuff." He grinned suggestively, "And you are going to have to call me 'Sir"."

Simmons blushed. In his head he was enacting very explicit fantasies of being dominated by a very hot commanding officer, "Fuck you, sir." He said walking toward their shuttle.

"Yes, please."

"Shut up"