Title: "The Elevator Conundrum"
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy Rating: PG Chapters: 1 / 4 Summary: The elevator's finally working and Penny and Sheldon managed to get a test ride until things get a little more interesting.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series A/N: Just some good ol fun! I would've written this general...save for a few scenes *wink wink* But it's all good wholesome fun...or at least it tries to be haha! Enjoy!
I don't know. Lately, I've just been thinking of possible Sheldon/Penny episodes for season 3...

CHAPTER 1

Sheldon stepped inside the apartment building, groceries in tow. It was just a typical evening. The sun had set at exactly 5:53PM, a tolerable six minutes off the prediction by the Weather Channel, but to the dot of his own personal well-calculated forecast. A shift in temperature, wind speed and humidity told him it would be a warm night tonight, but other than that, there were no incidents worth noting. No break in his routine. No irregular bowel movements or bodily discomfort, except maybe for his forecasted warm weather in approximately two hours and twenty-seven minutes. He'd have to remember to turn on his air conditioner.

The indoor plants at the ground floor stood where they should be, still alive and green despite the lack of care from the rarely-seen landlord, and Penny, still in her Cheesecake Factory uniform, was rummaging through her mailbox. Upstairs, Leonard would be waiting with the rest of Penny's mail after once again pretending error on the part of the postman so he could have an excuse to converse with their blond neighbor at a later time.

Yup, just another typical evening for Sheldon Cooper. And any minute now, Penny would be turning around to greet him and engage him in petty, mediocre talk.

Except something was wrong.

He looked around. The stairs, though not spotless, were as clean as they had been since the day he moved in. The fluorescent lights were all lit. None of them broken, or he would've noticed and fixed it himself like he had done months before.

Nothing was out of the ordinary, or rather, nothing was supposed to be. But there was. He knew there was, but for some reason, couldn't pinpoint the source of this change.

"Oh, hey Sheldon," Penny greeted. Sheldon barely noticed her. He was still thinking, squinting but looking at nothing in particular.

Something was so wrong.

"Sheldon, honey, are you okay?"

He felt a hand on his arm and he jumped back, sputtering Chinese words before realizing he had just said he had a monkey in his pants.

He composed himself and held his head high. Penny didn't know Chinese so he was safe. "Yes, Penny? You were inquiring about something?"

Penny's brows knitted with her smile: a sign of amusement or confusion, though he didn't know what she would find funny unless she understood Chinese. "Yeah. I was asking if you were okay. You were spaced out."

"I'm not sure I understand what you mean by 'spaced out'. Are you trying to say I am in outer space or I am out of my space? Because the first one would be just preposterous while the second is incorrect. I am within my personal space and so are you." Sheldon stepped away, and groceries still in tow, he headed for the stairs.

"Sheldon, the elevator's fixed."

Sheldon stopped before he could reach the first step. That's when he noticed the absence of the yellow CAUTION! tapes on the elevator doors, and all he could manage was "Oh."

Penny walked up to him. "Wanna go try it?"

"But that's not the stairs," he protested, suddenly finding the need to hug his groceries to him. This was a break in his routine and he needed to brace himself. This was a small break, sure, but with the way past minute changes in his life went, this was going to get bigger and bigger. "We always take the stairs."

"You're such a baby." Penny rolled her eyes and before he could protest, grabbed him towards the elevator.

"Penny! You are wrinkling my jacket."

"Oh, Moonpie. Three months in Antarctica hasn't gotten to you at all, has it?"

"Don't call me Moonpie," Sheldon seethed. "No one calls me Moonpie but Meemaw. I thought I already told you that but I suppose three months is ample time for mediocre minds to forget. And it was the Arctic, not Antarctica. Antarctica is to the south whereas the Arctic is to the north. There is a clear difference between the two and--"

A slight jolt made Sheldon press his back to the wall, his groceries still clutched to his chest. To his horror, he saw the elevator door had closed.

"NO!" He threw himself at the door and pawed at it, but another jolt sent him pressing against the wall again.

The elevator was moving.

"Sheldon, honey, you just need to relax, okay?" Penny said, patting him on the shoulder. For a moment, he had even forgotten that she was there.

"Relax?" He turned wide eyes at her. Had she lost her mind? "How can I relax? How can you? We are trapped in a moving death box--"

"Sheldon, we're not trapped--"

"The acceleration of which this contraption is moving after years of malfunction is not beneficial to--"

"Sheldon, shush. Look, we're going up to the third floor now--"

"The rust, rust," Sheldon looked from side to side, his head swimming in calculations and observations: sweat proliferating on his skin pores, increasing number of heartbeats per second, constricted breathing, nausea, and an unfortunate desire to regurgitate. "The metals have been effused with iron oxide. Can't you hear them grinding upon each other? I'd calculate the number of decibels--"

"Shut up Sheldon," Penny roared, and that quieted him down, but it didn't stop his lips from quivering. Didn't stop his eye from twitching.

One jolt sent his stomach pitching, and the rest of his body to fall to the floor.