Disclaimer: This is fuckin' fanfiction. If I owned it, it would be FICTION, not FANfiction. Do you need a wheelchair? Huh? Do you say only "TIMMEHH!!!" all the live long day and have an equally retarded turkey for a pet? Hm? You must if you think I need a disclaimer.
The next day, everything was back to normal. Kenny was alive and well again, as though nothing had ever happened. That's the way it always had been, always was, and probably always would be. Kenny's dying had come to be a normal part of life. Like homework, it sucked to begin with, but eventually they got over it and moved on, only to have the same thing happen again.
Today, they stood at the bus stop, waiting for it to arrive.
Eric Cartman ran to catch up. "Gehs! Hey, you gehs!"
"What, fat ass?" asked Kyle.
"I have got some great news," the boy answered eagerly.
"You're moving someplace far away?" asked Stan hopefully.
"You're dying of some unknown disease?"
"You're getting a new brain that actually works?"
"Shut up, Kenny." Cartman frowned, crossing his arms. "Hmph. I just HAPPENED to have an idea to make ten MILLION dollars."
"Not this bullshit again…"
Stan sighed. "We're not making another boy band, Cartman."
"Last time I got squished!!"
"Psht! Boy bands are soooo last week," said Cartman.
"Then what is it?" asked Kyle.
That day at recess, Cartman lined the other three up to tell him his 'genius plan'.
"So what IS it?"
The fat boy grinned. "Turkey fights."
"Turkey fights?" asked Stan.
"Come ON, you gehs! We could make ten million dollars!"
Kyle made a face. "Yeah, but that's just it. We COULD. We might not."
"But, buut!" He grabbed Kenny by the shoulders. "What about Kenny?"
"What ABOUT Kenny?"
"His family is POOR! He's probably never gonna see that much money!"
Kenny glared at him. "Oh, I am getting SO tired of this shit."
Catman turned to their mentally handicapped classmate, Timmy. "We're gonna need Gobbles."
Stan sighed. "Dude, don't take his gobbles away."
"And why the hell not?!"
"Because it's his and this'll never work!"
Cartman frowned. "Fine! Don't help me! Screw you guys, I'm going home!" He started walking away.
"You dumbass!" Kyle shouted after him. "You can't go home! We have school!"
Kenny amazingly went through the day without dying. It must have been one of THOSE episodes…
His parents were fighting, drunk, again when he got home. Kenny sighed. He went to his room, did his homework, and went to bed. He slowly drifted off to sleep…
"It didn't happen today."
"We must be losing our abilities…"
Who the hell are you?
"Ah, he hears us…"
"Dammit, not good! What do we do now?"
Kenny sat up, panting.
Wow, Kenny's gone crazy! OMG! Chicken!
And I'm sorry Cartman took your Gobbles away....