A Thousand Reasons Why (Not)
Based upon Stargate: SG-1
- - - Season 10
He missed her smile.
He missed her laugh.
He missed her sparkling eyes.
He missed he perfectly quaffed hair.
He missed the sight of her soft features whenever he woke up in the Infirmary after some accident.
He missed her wit.
He missed her eloquence.
He missed how much she cared.
He missed her ingenuity.
He missed her because he felt like it was her fault.
There were at least a thousand reasons that Daniel Jackson missed Janet Fraiser.
Just one of those reasons was that he didn't know how long it would take him to get over her death; to really get over her death. Of course, he knew there was nothing he could have done. It had literally been a war zone and there was no way he could have seen that errant energy blast coming and even if he had . . .
But every one of the thousand reasons he missed her was exactly the same as one of the thousand reasons he loved her.
In retrospect, maybe he should have told her.
Maybe he should have marched into the Infirmary one day and just said it: "Janet, I'm in love with you."
. . . . . . . . .
Or, at the very least: "Would you like to get some coffee sometime?"
But every time he had wanted to, one of a thousand things stopped him.
His fear stopped him.
The way she made him speechless, at times, stopped him.
The thought of things not turning out right stopped him.
The possibility of him hurting her stopped him.
More often than not, Sergeant Siler needing medical attention stopped him.
Sergeant Siler . . .
Daniel had never really been sure about Siler and Janet. Their affection for each other was obvious. Not quite as obvious as whatever was going on between Sam and Jack, but obvious none-the-less.
He had a feeling that Janet and Siler had had a very similar relationship to that of Sam and Jack.
They all claimed that there was nothing there, but that was just what they told everyone. That was just what they told themselves; what they tried to convince themselves of. And in that case, he was glad that he had never let himself become Janet's "Pete."
He knew Vala was watching him as he deciphered the tablet; she often did. He wasn't quite sure what the motivation behind her intentions was; her intention of trying to get him to sleep with her. He found it hard to believe that she was actually in love him.
But that didn't really matter. There may have been a thousand reasons for him to ignore Vala's advances, but he only needed one:
He was still in love with Janet Fraiser, and didn't know if he ever wouldn't be.
- - - fin - - -