Dedicated to TrinityFlower of Memories, for being an awesome person. And a good buddy to chat with. (:
Disclaimer: I definitely own Sonny With a Chance and Starbucks, because I'm amazing. Aha. Not really.
9 Tips to Make Her Yours
Chad Dylan Cooper didn't mean to stumble upon an open page of Tween Weekly Magazine. He was merely walking by the table in the cafetera, after getting his usual lunch, and happened to see it lying under a sheet of paper, underneath a napkin dispenser.. Since the owner had obviously tried to cover the magazine up, he just had to check it out.
He didn't know it would be an article about getting together with the opposite gender.
"9 Tips to Make Her Yours." He muttered to himself. Ha, Chad Dylan Cooper already knew how to flirt and get together expertly with girls because obviously, Sonny Munroe, his favorite member of the So Random! cast was in love with him. Including the rest of the world. Well, not exactly. Sonny wasn't taking the hint. He figured he could always use a good laugh, and a few extra tips. Heck, maybe he would even try a few of these later.
1. Look at her in the eyes and say a way-cool pick up line. Something like "Did it hurt when you fell like an angel from heaven" will not cut it.
"Something like 'Did it hurt when you fell like an angel from heaven' will not cut it." Chad murmured to himself. Reading the tips from that magazine hadactually inspired him, surprisingly. The article in the beginning had told him that apparently, he was doing everything wrong. Repeating little words, like 'Good' and 'Fine' would annoy the girl, which was, in this case, Sonny. He had also read that insulting the girl you liked would make her hate you, but he wasn't about to give that up. Besides, Sonny seemed to enjoy arguing with him enough.
It had been a day since he'd read the article. He'd been practicing the ten tips on other girls. It didn't exactly work, but he figured that it was just because it was the first time he'd tried them. Plus, Sonny always flirted back, even if she didn't know it, or if his first sentence was lame.
Looking around, he spotted the brunette standing next to the froyo machine, cup in hand, ready to make a tasty yogurt treat. He watched as she grinned her trademark smile and used the handle to make a perfect swirl. Chad had to use all his strength not to just run up and kiss her. He took a deep breath.
Alright Chad Dylan Cooper, it's time to make your move.
Walking over, he recited his speech in his head. He closed his eyes and counted to three. 1, 2--
"Hey Chad!" Sonny greeted him. She looked excited, perky, and did he dare say it... cute.
Stupid cute. "Sonny!" His voice cracked at the end, making him sound all nervous. She raised her eyebrows, wondering what that was about. She was used to an insult, or a sarcastic remark.
Look at her in the eyes. He stared into her eyes, mesmerized by the brown color. Quickly snapping out of it, he remembered the second step. Say a way-cool pick up line. He had one, a perfect one...
But he forgot it at the last instant.
Racking through his brain in an attempt to find another one, he blurted out, "If you were a booger I'd pick you first."
Sonny's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Uh, what?"
"Um, you know, if you were in my nose and you were a booger? Picking boogers out of nose..." He laughed nervously.
To his relief, she didn't run away in terror. Instead she laughed lightly and said, "Okay, Chad."
And she turned and walked away.
2. Reach over and pet her hair. Ignore the weird, disgusted look she'll probably give you and say something suave. For example, something along the lines of "Your hair is like the fur of my favorite pet raccoon."
This time, Chad thought, This is going to be perfect. The last attempt at 'making her his' was disasterous. Instead of saying the real pick-up line, he had humiliated himself in front of the only person he really, truly liked. Other than himself.
Chad found her in the cafeteria again, surrounded by the Randoms. He obviously couldn't do this with witnesses lying around, ready to tell people that he wasn't his usual confident self, so he picked Portlyn's piece of steak and yelled, "Whoever wants this steak has to run over to the meditation room of Mackenzie Falls!"
His predictions were correct, he could see, when just about everyone ran out of the room. He knew Sonny would be too smart to fight over a piece of steak, since she was sitting there, all alone now. Chad walked over, and grinned a cocky smile.
"Chad?" She asked. "What are you doing here?"
"It's lunchtime." He answered slowly. "I'm here, eating lunch." He made it sound like he didn't care that the person he liked was talking to him. She nodded, and an awkward silence passed over them. In an attempt to calm himself down, he pulled out the chair that was once filled with Tawni and sat down, then scooted over closer to Sonny.
"You didn't even ask if you could sit here." She retorted.
Reach over and pet her hair. Like a robot, Chad's arm reached out slowly and started petting her smooth, long locks. She gave him an incredibly freaked out look and moved away.
Ignore the weird, disgusted look she'll probably give you and say something suave.
"Y-your hair is like the fur of my favorite pet raccoon." He recited.
She stared. He smiled hesitantly. She blinked.
"Yeah, it was a compliment." He said. He knew that he wasn't being himself, so he added an arrogant comment. "Of course, your hair isn't the best like mine, but..."
"You have a pet raccoon?" She asked, tilting her head slightly in confusion. He had noticed that she did that whenever she was extremely confused and didn't know what was going on.
Of course she wouldn't know what was going on. Of course she doesn't know that I liked her!
"Uh... bye." He moved his chair back quickly and fled the room.
3. Challenge her to a game that you know you rock at. Make sure she loses, so that you can comfort her while she cries on your shoulder and rambles on about of all the reasons she's a horrible person.
"Sonny?" He swallowed, waiting for an answer. A second ago, he had asked Sonny to go to the arcade with him so he could challenge her to a game of air hockey.
"Okay. But I will win." She said, grabbing her jacket. It was a new one, Chad noted, that looked stupid cute on her.
On the drive there, he rambled on about his new episode of Mackenzie Falls, but Sonny didn't quite seem to notice that he was nervous. She was used to him talking about his show all the time.
They walked in and she immediately walked over to the table. "Ready?"
"Game on." He replied. He knew he would win, and when she started sobbing, he could comfort her. Just like the magazine said.
An hour later, he stood there with his mouth wide open.
"I told you I'd win!" Sonny grinned. "Close your mouth Chad. You'll catch flies."
"How... how did you win? I absolutely rock at this game!" He whined.
"Oh, don't worry about it." Sonny said, waving it off, "It's not like anyone was here to witness that--" her voice got louder "Chad Dylan Cooper got beaten by Sonny Munroe at a game of air hockey!"
A reporter scurried over., along with the rest of the crew. "Hi, I'm Gina Torino and did I just hear that Chad Dylan Cooper lost to Sonny Munroe at a game of air hockey??"
"Yes," Sonny said, smiling and nodding, "Yes he did."
"Terrific!" Gina said happily, "This is perfect for this week's news story!" She pointed to the camera man, "Turn it on me."
As Sonny waved and grinned at the camera, Chad Dylan Cooper frowned and sulked for the rest of the day.
4. Compliment her clothing. When she says thank you, compliment her hair. Afterwards, say something nice about her hands, or feet. Compliment whatever she's wearing. Basically, compliment everything about her, even her earlobs if you must.
Tip: You may want to do some research about her first. Find out what she's insecure about, or what she doesn't like about herself. Make sure you compliment her on those things the most.
After the last five trillion or so failures, Chad decided to do some research about Sonny before he tried the sixth tactic. So far, he'd found out that her favorite color was purple, her favorite band was Paramore, liked Starbucks' Iced Vanilla Latte, despised McDonald's, and strangely resembled that Camp Rock girl Mitchie Torres. Google could be a miracle worker.
From Blondie, he found out that she was only insecure about her feet. Apparently, she thought that they were too big or something.
So now, as Chad went searching for Sonny Munroe again, he was sure that this time it would all work out. He found her in her dressing room, thankfully, alone.
"Munroe." He said.
Compliment her. "Uh, I like your..." His eyes scanned her body, "Shirt."
"Chad, are you feeling okay? You've been acting really weird these past couple of days." She asked, concerned. Inside, her heart was racing and she wondered that maybe, just maybe, he was trying to get up the courage to ask her out. But that only happened in her dreams.
That wasn't supposed to happen! Chad thought frantically. "You're supposed to say thank you!" He blurted out. Oops.
"Oh." She replied slowly, "Uh, thanks Chad."
Compliment her hair. "Your hair looks nice."
"Chad, what in the world are you up to?"
"Your feet aren't big."
Sonny's mouth dropped open. "Have you been talking to Tawni? Did she tell you stuff she shouldn't be telling you? Like the fact that I..." She caught herself before spilling something that, to Chad, sounded pretty important. And big.
He had to find out what she was going to say, but he had to finish this first. "I like your," His eyes landed on a bracelet that looked relatively new, "Bracelet."
She glanced down at her hand. "Oh, thanks." Sonny started to walk out of the room.
... even her earlobes if you must.
"You have great earlobes."
She was halfway out of the room when she turned around and gave him the look that indicated she thought he was the most insane thing in the world.
5. Take her to a scary movie. When she jumps out of her seat, she'll hold onto you.
"You sure you want to see this?" Sonny asked, pointing to the poster. On it was a picture of a huge goblin/monster thing, beside some kid who looked possessed.
Chad shuddered, but knew he had to see this one. The magazine clearly stated that it had to be a scary movie. "I'm fine with it. Unless somebody's not." He teased, looking at her.
She scowled. "Ready when you are."
Chad paid the girl behind the counter and took the tickets, while Sonny went inside to get the popcorn and soda. They met up by the door to the movie.
"Just remember, when you get scared and scream, I'm right beside you. Don't be afraid to cling onto my jacket." He said.
"Jerk." She spat. Chad gave her a fake hurt look and she rolled her eyes, mumbling out an apology.
They entered and found two seats near the back. And the movie started.
45 minutes later, Chad jumped as a creature rose out from beneath the bed. He trembled like a little girl, while Sonny sat and laughed at the whole thing.
This is not working out. I'm the one that's supposed to be laughing, not her!
He yelped as the creature attacked the girl, who supposedly, was the only one who could see this stuff. Sonny turned and looked at him, an amused grin on her face.
"You want to leave?" She offered.
Chad was never happier to accept it.
6. (For this tip, make sure that the girl you are going after has a purse.) She turns away to talk to a friend/waiter/random person. You push her purse off the table. You pick it up and say "I found this on the ground. Is this purse yours?" She'll love you for saving her purse, and money.
Note: This may also work with a bracelet, shoe, or anything that the girl loves.
After the scary movie episode, Sonny had ran up to him everyday for a week just to scare the living daylights out of him. He had to check under his bed every night for monsters and such, and when he finally started to realize that there was no such thing as monsters under the bed, he felt incredibly embarrassed.
He was doubtful that this tip was actually going to work, but he decided to give it a shot anyway. Chad drove to Starbucks on a Tuesday after the latest Mackenzie Falls rehearsal, and found Sonny sitting alone at a table near a window, sipping her usual Iced Vanilla Latte and staring off into the distance.
Chad carefully watched as she turned and paid the waiter. Sneaking up to her table, he reached out to tip over her purse and--
"Chad, are you trying to steal my purse?" She screeched.
"No!" He defended himself. Cursing the magazine for giving him a stupid tip like this, he quickly made up a reason that sounded believable as to why he would reach over and take her purse. "I was, um..." glancing around, he took out his wallet, "Just going to put some money into it. I never got a chance to pay you for the movie popcorn."
Sonny stared at him. She shook her head. "Alright, fine. But you know you don't have to pay me back. I never paid you back for the movie ticket."
"Oh." He smiled awkwardly, "Well, I guess we're even then."
"Good." She nodded, smiling.
"Fine." She said, chuckling.
"Do we really have to continue this?" She asked. I shrugged. She gestured to the seat in front of her. "You can sit down, you know."
The purse dropping tip didn't exactly work, but at least I got a sort-of date with Sonny Munroe for the rest of the afternoon.
7. Send her a bunch of flowers. i.e: The big bouquet of flowers to Sonny Munroe from James Conroy.
Tip: Make sure she's not allergic to them.
After things had gone back to normal for a bit, Chad was going to make his next move. He didn't like the fact that they used Sonny and James in the magazine, but he figured by the end of all this, they'll both forget about James.
First he had to make sure she wasn't allergic to flowers. How would he know if Sonny was and started sneezing when she got the bouquet from James?
"Sonny!" He called out to her. She stopped and turned around. "You're not allergic to flowers, are you?"
"No." She replied, the paused. "Why?"
"Oh, no reason." He smiled to himself, then ran back to his dressing room. He grabbed the flowers (it was huger than the bunch that James had sent, he made sure of it), peeked around the corner to ensure that no one was watching, and grabbed Jeff/Josh by the color.
"What are you doing?" Jeff/Josh asked in his monotone of a voice.
"Make sure these go to Sonny." Chad said.
"Just do it!" Jeff/Josh waited there expectantly. Chad rolled his eyes and dug into his pockets for some cash. "Here's 10 bucks, now go!"
"Making me do all this stuff. Who does he think he is?" Jeff/Josh muttered under his breath.
"I'm CHAD DYLAN COOPER!" Chad yelled after him. He turned around and there was that little kid. Nora, or Tora, or something of that nature. He didn't exactly give a hoot about what her name was, especially after she filled his new convertible with elephant poop. It smelled for weeks.
"So, I heard you were going to give flowers for Sonny." She said in her weird voice. It was strangely relaxing though, as if they were doing yoga together or something. "Just beware." She said, pointing at him.
Whatever. Chad thought. All he could think about was what Sonny's reaction would be when she found out they were from him. He walked over to the dressing room and hid behind a corner, peeking his head in through the open doorway.
"From Chad?" Sonny said, bewildered.
"I told you he liked you!" A voice squealed beside her. Blondie.
"But why would Chad just all of a sudden start to compliment me, take me to movies, and send me flowers?"
"Sonny, Sonny, Sonny. Don't you know? That boy has been in love with you since the day you met him!"
"Tawni, calm down." Sonny ordered. "Besides, it's probably another prank or something."
Flowers aren't pranks! You can't hide like a bomb or camera in it! Chad thought angrily. He stormed away. I guess the flowers didn't exactly work out the way it should have.
8. Sabotage her room/desk/something with a lot of stuff in it. Then offer to help clean it. Girls love it when they don't have clean alone. Plus, it'll give you a chance to learn more about them. Just make sure you don't go reading her journal, if she has one.
Chad Dylan Cooper didn't clean. But if Tween Weekly Magazine promised that girls loved it when guys cleaned, he would give it a chance. When the whole cast of So Random! was on set filming, he snuck into Sonny's dressing room and knocked stuff down, threw a bunch of clothes and costumes everywhere, and made the whole room a mess.
He quiet snuck out again and hid behind a potted plant.
"What happened in here?!" He heard Sonny say.
"Oh no!" Blondie added. "My picture's torn!"
Chad rolled his eyes as he stepped out from behind the plant and walked by as if he knew nothing. "Oh, hey girls." He whistled, "Wow what happened in here?"
"You tell me." Sonny said, crossing her arms.
"What? How would I know what happened?"
"You obviously did this!" Blondie said, standing beside Sonny.
"What? What are you talking about?" Chad said.
"Chad." Sonny said, holding out his jacket. "You left your jacket in here."
He smiled weakly and said, "I'll help you clean it?"
"Alright." Sonny said, starting to gather up a few items.
Blondie stepped in and said, "No, let him clean it himself."
"Good idea!" Sonny said. They laughed and walked out of the room.
Chad sighed. Plan backfired. Now he had to clean. By himself. If girls didn't like cleaning by themselves, who would expect guys to?
9. Ask her to go on a walk/to a party/somewhere outside where it'll be cold. If she brings a jacket, steal it. Then, when she gets cold, offer her your jacket (make sure you wear something warm so you don't freeze to death). She'll wear it and probably forget to give it back, but it'll be something of yours that she'll always have forever.
Tip: Don't wear your favorite jacket. You don't want to lose that.
Chad grinned at himself in the mirror after examining his clothes. Jeans, a nice shirt, and his second best jacket. Tween Weekly Magazine was right, no guy would want to lose his favorite one.
He was surprised that after the nine fiascos with her, Sonny had agreed to go on a walk with him by the ocean. But Chad was sure that she would like this one. His little sister always said that in the romance book she read, the guy would always give the girl a coat, or a sweatshirt that she would keep forever.
He opened the door to her dressing room and found her ready to go, jacket in hand.
"Ready?" He asked.
"Sure." She shrugged, stepping out of the room.
If she brings a jacket, steal it.
"Oh, let me hold that for you." He offered. She looked slightly surprised, but accepted his offer. They went into his car, coats thrown in the backseats and drove to the beach, Sonny getting out of the car first. It gave him the perfect opportunity to 'forget' her coat.
They were halfway back when it started to get cold.
"Chad, where's my coat?"
"Oh! I must've forgotten it in my car." He said, using his actor's ability to sound like he had really forgotten. "Here, take mine."
"Chad, you don't have a coat." She said, laughing.
He looked down at himself, and realized that he had forgotten his own jacket too.
He was starting to think that either he was jinxed, or the Tween Weeky Magazine Tips were a bunch of bogus.
If all else fails, embrace her in a bear hug and just tell her that you like her. Chances are, she'll like you back. Just remember, if she doesn't, you're too good for her anyway. So go out there and get your girl!
Since none of the tips actually worked, Chad shrugged and decided to just try the advice. After all, he had embarrassed himself so much, it wouldn't even matter anymore.
He walked into the cafeteria and spotted the brunnette with a tray, holding it out to Brenda, only to receive a disgusting looking chunk of meat. She dropped her tray down in disgust and got up to get something else. Chad took a deep breath and walked over to her.
Embrace her in a bear hug.
"Hey Sonny." Without warning, he wrapped his arms around and held onto her, getting the satisfaction that she was actually hugging him back.
"What was that for?" She asked, smiling when they let go.
And just tell her that you like her.
"Sonny Munroe." He said in his usual teasing tone. Sonny stiffened, ready to take on an insult. "I have been trying to tell you that I like you for the last couple of weeks. But I embarrassed myself too much."
Her cheeks turned pink. "Really?"
He took another breath and just decided to tell her about the magazine. She didn't seem to grossed out by the fact that he liked her, so why not? "I happened to stumble upon a Tween Weekly Magazine, with tips on how to get the girl you wanted."
"You wanted me?" She asked.
"Now, Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't take tips from a magazine." She rolled her eyes, but he stopped her. "But you weren't exactly catching on to the fact that I was into you, so I decided to try them. When I did all that stuff that made you think I was insane," he laughed, "Those were the tips."
She stared for a second, then burst out laughing. After a moment, she finally stopped and caught her breath. "Chad, you mean you couldn't just tell me that you liked me? I thought you were Chad Dylan Cooper, not some normal guy without the guts to tell a girl he liked her."
I made a face. "Well, around you, I'm not Chad Dylan Cooper."
"Oh, you're not?"
"I'm just Chad."
"Well," She said sincerely, "I have to admit, that was really sweet. And," She turned red again, I like you too."
Chad let out a big breath. "I knew that one day you would admit you were into Chad Dylan Cooper."
"And I knew one day you would admit that you were into Sonny Munroe!" Blondie said, smiling. Apparently, she had snuck up on them and listened in on their conversation.
Sonny smiled. "But who knew it would all happen because of an issue of Tween Weekly Magazine?"
Hm... I'm afraid I've made this too long. Oh wells!
I'm actually incredibly proud of this oneshot :) I'm just afraid that I might have made Chad a little OOC. So you've got to tell me what you think, even if you hated it, okay?
So if your a constant reader of mine, you know the drill. For those of you who don't know, I usually give you guys three 'codewords' that signify what you thought of this story. So short reviewers...
Swimming- If you loved it.
Tennis- If you thought it was okay.
Football- If you hated it. (And if you did, please tell me why?)
Or, if you're a long reviewer, tell me what your favorite line was. Or your favorite disaster (which tip). Or what you thought was good, what was bad, etc.
Thanks for reading (and reviewing? hint hint)!