I don't own Earthian or the characters in it (I'm just using them ^_^). This 'fic also contains original characters, so don't be confused. Enjoy!


Idiots=Chaos

1:30 a.m.

The phone was ringing. Chihaya groaned as he woke up, completely aware of his splitting headache caused by his flu. The others had teased him about catching an Earthian sickness, but he didn't seem to mind. Except for the fact that the phone was ringing and it was right by his bed.
Groggily, he picked it up and pressed it to his ear. "Hello?"
"Is this a Mr. Chihaya?" asked the person on the other line. Chihaya didn't recognize his voice.
"Yes," he replied, rubbing his aching forehead.
"I'm Officer Watashi. A few of your friends were arrested for assault. Luckily, the people they assaulted decided to not press charges. They said you were the only one available, so I need you to come down here to pay their bail."
Chihaya sat up, despite his blistering head. He could hear loud singing in the background.
"They're all drunk," said Watashi. "And they're singing some sort of weird song. They're scaring these cult administrators we brought in last night. When can you come down?"
Chihaya sighed. "I'll come when they're sober. Bye." He hung up the phone and lay back down. He had warned Kagetsuya about taking a whole bunch of angels out to a club would lead to disaster. Did he listen? No. Now they were drunk as hell in jail singing Eden's National Anthem.
And it's usually me who makes a lot of mistakes, he thought. I'll let him think things through for once.

9:45 p.m. (earlier that evening...)

Chihaya groaned and buried his head underneath his pillow. They were making too much noise! They knew he was sick!!
The door swung open and someone pounced on him. "Chihaya-chan!! Did you get over your cold?"
Chihaya sighed. "No, Iona. Now please leave me be, I have a fever."
The pillow was pulled off his head and a young female angel stared down into his face. She felt his forehead. "My, my!! You DO have a fever!!"
How can Kagetsuya have such an annoying cousin?! Chihaya wondered. Aloud he said, "Please, Iona. My head hurts and I need sleep."
Just then, three more angels walked in. All of which were guys.
"Hey Chi!! Get over your cold?" That was his relative, Ariel.
"Oh c'mon, Chihaya!! How can you catch an Earthian sickness?" Kagetsuya's relative, Theron.
"Get him up! Get him up!!" Kagetsuya's relative, Juno.
Suddenly, a loud voice said, "That's enough!! He's sick, for crying out loud!!"
Chihaya felt relieved as everyone left the room. The door closed and a figure sat next to him on the bed. "How's your fever?"
"Worse," said Chihaya. "Why did they have to visit today, Kagetsuya?"
Kagetsuya shrugged. "I'll take them out so they won't disturb you. Probably to a night club."
"Um...I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why?"
"It may be dangerous to mix alcohol with our relatives."
"A little alcohol won't hurt them."
"Okay, okay...But I'm warning you. What if you wind up in jail?"
"Oh c'mon, Chihaya! You know I'm smarter than that!!"

3:27 a.m.

The phone was ringing again. His head didn't hurt as much but it still hurt. Chihaya reluctantly answered the phone. "Hello?"
There was a long pause, then...
"Where are you?!" it was Kagetsuya.
"In bed. Why?"
"Shit, my head."
"Did you say something?"
"I said come bail us out. Shit! I need aspirin..."
"You do know what time it is?"
"Yes."
"And you do remember what I told you before you left, right?"
"Okay, so I made a mistake. Aren't I allowed to?"
"...Fine. I'll come down when the sun rises. How much is the bail?"
"19, 000 yen."
"Huh?"
"19, 000 yen."
"WHAT?! ...Okay, I'll bail you out. But you owe me."

10: 52 p.m. (last night)

"WHOO!!!!!!!!!" shrieked Iona, downing another bottle.
Kagetsuya drank from his bottle, not even realizing he was tipsy. Not too far away more of his annoying relatives were arguing about who was the better psychic.
"I am!!"
"No, I am!!"
"Oh yeah!! Well I know this!!" he pointed to an off-duty cop with his wife. "She's cheated on him eight times! With a woman!!"
Suddenly, two new angels appeared. Aya, who shot Kagetsuya an inviting look, along with her partner, Miyagi.
"I can't believe that!!" declared Aya. "Adultery is morally wrong!! I'll go give her a piece of my mind!!"
It was more than obvious that she was drunk. But no one stopped her as she stalked over to that woman, ready to pick a fight.
"You stuck-up bitch!!!" seethed Aya. "You're so selfish!!"
"Who are you?!" demanded the woman.
Aya didn't introduce herself. She swung her fist and punched the woman right in the nose.
"AHHHHH!!!!!! You broke my nose!!!!!"
"That was un-called for!!!" said her husband.
"She cheated on you with another woman!!!" said Aya.
The man grabbed her roughly by her shoulder. "Apologize now!!!"
Suddenly, a large hand grabbed the man's, pulling it off Aya. "Would you mind keeping your hand off her?"
It was Miyagi. He wasn't as tipsy as Aya, but he was pissed off. With one squeeze, he broke the man's fingers.
"AHHHHH!!!!!"
This caused a chain reaction within the other angels. They flew into the situation like soldiers in a battle. Fists were swung, bones were broken, and it was one hell of a brawl.
Kagetsuya laughed hysterically as he down his drink. The man accidentally bumped into him after being punched in the face by Theron. Kagetsuya added more fuel to the fire by pouring his drink all over the man's pants. The man gave him a hard shove, which made Kagetsuya angry. He swung his fist, and the man went flying.
The police arrived and started slapping handcuffs on the angels. They were dragged out in a drunken rage, several spouting empty threats.
"You can't do this to me!!!! I have friends in high places!!!!!!"
"I'm marking this down as a negative!!!! HA!!!!!! What do you say to that?!"
"I could kill you all right now!!!!"
"Don't threaten a cop, you dumb shit!!!!"
Despite their protests, all twelve angels were hauled off to jail. But they killed the time by singing Eden's National Anthem.

7:30 a.m.

The doors to the police station came open. Officer Watashi looked up from his desk. "Yeah?"
Chihaya walked up to the desk, wearing a forced smile. "I'm Chihaya."
"Oh thank God you're here!!!" he stood. "Come with me. You need to identify your friends."
Chihaya was dressed in one of Kagetsuya's blue big pullover fleeces, which came down to his knees. Underneath, he wore a silk blue button down shirt, and blue loose jeans that nearly swallowed his cute purple sneakers. (as some would nickname this as 'Uke-wear 2002')
Watashi opened the door to the cell area and walked down the isle. Chihaya followed, and that's when the comments started.
"Ohhhh baby!!!!!!"
"Fresh meat!!!!!!"
"This one's as cute as a little girl!!! Come here, sweet thing!!!!"
Chihaya blushed a dark shade of red as he walked. Suddenly, he felt someone touch his hair.
"Ooh, soft as silk!!!!!"
Chihaya shrieked and clung to the cop. Watashi shot the convicts a cold glare as he walked by.
"Ya know," said Watashi. "That one blond guy kept calling out for you last night."
"Really?" asked Chihaya, trying to ignore the catcalls.
"Yep. It was getting on my nerves. He was screaming like his life was a stake."
Chihaya started giggling, but stopped when he heard more catcalls.
"Here they are." Watashi directed Chihaya to a rather large holding cell. Chihaya knew whom to look for when he heard several people yelling for him.
"CHIHAYA!!!!!!!"
"Yo, Chi!!!! I knew you would come!!!!!"
"Hurry up and bail us out!!!!!"
Chihaya looked at the angels, who were suffering from terrible hangovers. "Um, hi guys...Aya?! Miyagi?!"
"I don't remember a thing," groaned Miyagi.
"God!!!!!" shrieked Aya. "You called the Lucifer?!?!?!"
"I can leave you here," said Chihaya.
Aya threw herself at his feet. "I'm sorry!!!!!! I'm sorry!!!!!! Please forgive me!!!!! Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?!?!?!"
Chihaya rolled his eyes. "Fine. This is all of them."
Watashi nodded. "Okay. You gonna pay their bail?"
"19,000 yen, right? I got it."
"Okay."

"'Dear Michael, please don't send a hole bunch of angels again. It was painful, and it cost too much money. Oh, and, please ignore all the new negative markings Aya made. She was drunk, and it was her fault...'"
Chihaya looked up from writing his letter. The noise had vanished. "Are they gone?"
The door opened and Kagetsuya walked in. His didn't look good. "Yes. They're all hung over. Not to mention I've heard Aya might be in deep shit."
Chihaya shrugged. "And you say I act too carefree..."
Kagetsuya sighed and plopped onto the bed. "I made a mistake!! So what?!" he decided to switch gears. "How's your cold?"
"Oh, I'm over it," said Chihaya cheerfully. "It was annoying, but Earthian sicknesses aren't so bad-"
"A-CHOO!!!!!" Kagetsuya sneezed. Chihaya frowned and felt his forehead.
"Um, I think you caught my cold."
Kagetsuya's eyes widened. "Oh no..."
"Oh, don't worry. I'll take good care of you."
"Why do I have the feeling you're gonna torture me?"
"Hmm, after all the noise your relatives caused?"
"They were your relatives too."
"Good point. I'm nice, so I won't torture you. As long as we don't get in trouble for YOUR mistake."
Kagetsuya sighed. "YOU make more mistakes than me."
"I know, I know."


Wow, that was messed up!! There was a bit of OOC-ness, but I'm sure no one minds. I hope everyone enjoy reading this funny...but weird fic. Thanks for reading!!!