Disclaimer: I don't own this so much that I can't think of anything awesome to say.

Author's Note: ...eh. This started out completely different. It was originally sweet, and nice, and a cute little NekozaiwaxHaruhi one-shot. Then I started scrolling through the OHSHC communities and.....bam. I was hit with so many fanfictions that were alike that I had to do something. So. DUN-DUN-DUN-DUUUUN! This is here! It'll most likely end up being a "Haruhi rejects everyone" type collection of one-shots that has everyone using their most used pick up line.

By the way: I have no idea how to spell Umehito's last name. Scanlations, manga, and anime all spelled it differently, so don't burn me on it too bad.




"What type of witch are you?"


Haruhi looked up from her reading, setting the rather large and bulky textbook down. Standing beside her in his usual strange taste in clothing was Nekozaiwa Umehito, looking the epitome of curiosity.

Berezenoff waved.

"…I don't understand." Haruhi settled on eventually. The cloaked figure's head cocked strangely, and Haruhi had the thought that underneath that gigantic robe Nekozaiwa might be pursing his lips. Or it could have been the wind. Really, it was anyone's guess.

"What type of witch?" he persisted, stepping closer. Haruhi found it interesting ; he'd already been standing so very close that she hadn't imagined there could be anymore room between the two of them that still counted as 'polite'.

"Um. I'm not a witch."

The cloak shook. "Then what sort of curse are you using?" Haruhi winced. At this time he was leaning quite close to her, and by the look on Berezenoff's woven features, he was not pleased with her answer.

Or maybe Berezenoff always looked that way?

" You must be using something," his breath came out airy, almost a hiss. "I can't stop looking at you, in your direction! I knowcurses, and that is definitely a side-affect of one." Haruhi blinked, once, twice, three times.


Haruhi stood up slowly, pushing Nekozaiwa softly as she did so. "No witches, no curses. Sorry," Haruhi said. Oh, she knew exactly where this was going. With something like that, who wouldn't? Even her relationship-based naivete couldn't fasten onto that one.

As she left, she shook her head.

When did pickup lines start getting so cheesy?