Chapter 15 : Control
this is one of those shorter chapters that needed to happen to get the story rolling again...
"What would you like to do then love?" Edward spoke softly as we walked at a human speed up to our bedroom.
"Edward can you come down for a moment please" Carlisle called. Edward stopped and huffed before turning towards the stairs.
"Wait for me upstairs" he winked at me as he ran with vampire speed. "What is it?" I heard him say, his tone was full of anger and I knew he was only raining it in for my benefit.
"Edward she needs to feed" Jaspers voice echoed through the silent house.
"She will feed when she wants to feed" he stated matter of fact. Was I doing this? Why was I causing an argument, I didn't want to but I also didn't want to be told what to do.
"Edward be reasonable" Jaspers tone wasn't one of anger anymore, it was pleading. "Don't you remember that burn. She must be in pain."
There was nothing but silence from the living room, I suddenly heard quiet footsteps racing towards the room and within no time at all, Edward was standing in front of me.
"He made a good point love, I don't want you to be hurting." I sat at the end of the bed looking towards the glass window. I wasn't in pain, I could feel it but I wasn't that desperate.
"I'm not hurting"
"Aren't you hungry… at all?" he walked towards me and sank at my feet, stroking my leg.
"Not really. I know the burn is there but… the appeal seems to have gone… maybe in time…" I tried to sooth him.
"Bella, love …" he tried pleading with me, he thought I was lying.
"I'm not lying Edward." My anger flared. The only flame I felt in my throat was the one that told me to get up and storm out. What the heck was wrong with me???
"I didn't say you were." He watched me cautiously as I stood up and walked over to the window. "Bella?"
"Leave me alone, Edward" I growled at him. He didn't move.
Why did I growl at him? Why did I want to be alone? Why was I taking it out on Edward? He was only trying to look out for me!
"Her emotions are going insane at the moment. She's going to lose control any second." Jasper warned the others downstairs. I knew the if I heard it, Edward did too. He didn't move though.
"Edward get away from her" Esme instructed but he didn't move, he just stared.
Was I conflicted? Was I going to lose it? Maybe? Would that mean I would hurt Edward?
"Edward, seriously your reading this for yourself, get away from her before she harms you."
"She wont" he said full of conviction. I turned then to stare at him.
"You don't know that" Emmett stated.
"Yes I do. I trust her, like she trusted me." My mind was suddenly full of thousands of little flashback… the ones of Edward telling me he wasn't good enough or strong enough and I defied him every time and told him he was. That I knew he wouldn't hurt me even if he didn't. I was stubborn… yes… but I was right.
"Edwards that's… she's a new born, they have no control, you had control… eighty years of it not eight hours." Jasper's words only seemed to encourage him then, he took a step towards me.
"Ignore them. How are you feeling?" he asked softly.
I didn't want to fight, I wanted to hold Edward, to let him sooth me and just be with me. Why was I being so argumentative. Was Jasper right. Was this a new born thing.
"I'm not sure" I finally answered him. "I don't know why I'm arguing with you. I don't want to."
"I know, love"
"Wait, how can she admit that? She shouldn't be able to understand that?" Carlisle's voice was the next that caught my attention. I looked at the ground as if I could see through it down to where they stood.
Edward took another step closer to me. "Your like nothing we know."
"What do you mean?" I asked raising my head.
"Bella don't you see… your control… its not normal." he tried to explain but my self-conscious part didn't like being called not normal.
"WAIT… SO IM NOT NORMAL" I screeched at him, throwing a temper tantrum. "IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK OF ME… MAYBE I'LL NEVER BE" it hit me then that I wasn't acting like myself, so I forced my mouth shut and closed my eyes. After a moment I opened them to see Edward still watching me but the others were at the door, all looking completely amazed. "I don't like this part" I whispered as I looked at the floor.
I felt his cold finger under my chin as he lifted my face to his. "Do you realize how truly amazing you are?"
"What?" I asked my voice thick with sadness.
"You shouldn't have as much control as you do… Emmett's first tantrum left a clearing in the forest, the government put it down to some kind of earthquake. Rosalie's… it lasted days and we ended up having to chain her down. You don't want to know about mine…" he shook his head.
"You mean I'm doing well?" I asked as I looked up and took in all the others around me.
"Unbelievably well" Esme soft voice weaved across the room and into my ears. This was the first time I had ever had anyone tell me I was doing something better than someone else and mean it. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.
"Edwards right, she's like nothing we know" Carlisle spoke as he came to stand next to us. "I'm sorry we were having doubts, we just don't know what to expect…"
"I understand… but I would never hurt any of you…" Even I could hear the sadness that echoed off my words.
"I know you wouldn't." Edwards crooked smile appeared then and he held my face in his hands. He had that same mischievous grin that I had loved since the moment it appeared on his face the day in the meadow.
"What are you thinking?" I asked him flatly.
"That you need to stop your moaning and come hunting with me before Jasper over there explodes" he started laughing and I found that all I wanted to do was laugh with him, and so I did. It was the perfect way to break the tension and he knew it.
I nodded a yes as we took my hand and jumped through the open window, pulling me along behind him.
We returned from hunting a couple of hours later. It really wasn't hard once I knew what to do and watching Edward hunt had been like nothing I could have ever imagined. He was… perfect… as usual. I had to admit I didn't do too badly. At least my clothes had survived, that was until Edward had grabbed me and kissed me intensely. This whole lack of control thing wasn't too bad when it was pointed towards the right task and it also seemed that Edwards so-called control was lacking… after all he was the one that tore them straight from my body. It left me a little anxious as I walked towards my new home.
Edwards pants and his shirt had been the only things to survive for the both of us, so as he walked only in his boxers, I followed trying to cover certain areas with his shirt. He had laughed at me multiply times and a few times I saw the lust build in his eyes as he thought about going again but every time he seemed to change his mind. I knew why. Like me, he knew his shirt wouldn't survive the next round.
As we walked into the house, the others thankfully had given us some space and we didn't bump into anyone, however I couldn't block out the wolf-whistles and booming laughter coming from the distance. Emmett. Only he could make a vampire blush.
I had just gotten changed when I heard the sharp screams of my name. I looked towards Edward who had been watching me intensely as I dressed. His face was a mask of pain and defeat. What ever Alice had seen, he had too and apparently it was bad. I did all I could to keep calm but I needed to know. I flung myself around and headed for the stairs flying down them at vampire speed until I was able to grab Alice and ask her myself.
"They're coming for you!" It wasn't a joke, her voice held no hint of it. The warning was clear and the defeat on her face was a clear as Edwards.
Edwards arms wrapped around me now, as he pulled me tightly against him, as if shielding me from some unseen force.
"Who, Alice?" Jasper asked the question I was trying to get out but couldn't seem to.
Alice looked at Edward and it was him that gave me the answer I need. The panic was clear as he whispered the words "The Volturi"
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