A/N: Welcome to my first M*A*S*H fanfic! I hope you enjoy it. I want to thank Corka for giving me permission to use a couple parts from some of her works.
The quiet atmosphere at the MASH 4077th was broken by the sound of a lone chopper approaching the helipad. Trapper and Hawkeye looked up from their checkers game as the PA system rattled to life. "Don't worry, folks, no wounded to speak of."
Trapper grinned as he poured himself another gin. "That's good to know."
Hawkeye nodded, his eyes on the board. "I don't know about you, but I've had enough meatball surgery for the rest of my life. I wonder if I'll get that return letter from Bess Truman soon."
Glancing out the screen door of the Swamp, Trapper noticed Radar heading up to the helipad in a jeep. "Say, didn't Hot Lips say something about one of the new nurses coming in a day later? Making that today, of course."
"That's right," Hawkeye said, his eyes alighting with mischief. "I forgot about the dessert coming in today." The game forgotten, the two tossed back the rest of their gin and left the Swamp. Ambling around the camp as they waited for Radar to get back with the new nurse, they passed the nurse's quarters, pausing to watch a couple of the nurses who came in the day before walk past them talking and giggling in low tones. "So Trap, what's the latest from the lawyer?" Hawkeye asked.
Trapper shrugged. "He figures I can get joint custody of the girls." He had gotten a telegram two months earlier from his wife Louise, stating she was filing for divorce. Trapper had been surprised; even with his indiscretions, he still loved his wife…at least he thought so. "What do you think the new nurse will be like? Think she'll be like Dish?" The lovely Lieutenant Dish, whom Hawkeye had drooled over for months, had been transferred to Seoul the week before.
"I think we're about to find out," Hawkeye replied as the jeep came back into view. They caught a brief glimpse of the nurse as Radar zoomed past. "Did you see much?"
"Nothing more than a Class A uniform and Radar." Trapper and Hawkeye changed their course to head for the commander's office. Major Houlihan was already in Henry's office when the two strolled through the door. "Radar, what do you think? Dish?" Trapper asked on the way past.
Radar had a dreamy look across his face. "Better."
"Careful, Radar, or you'll fog up your glasses," Hawkeye cracked as he and Trapper pushed open the door into Henry's office. "Hello Henry, Hot Lips, mysterious nurse," he said as he claimed his usual chair.
Henry sighed. "Is there a reason you two are here, besides to give me a bigger headache?" When Hawkeye just flashed his usual grin, Henry shrugged. "Lieutenant Kate Boswell, meet Captains Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper McIntyre. Watch out for these two."
The more reviews, the faster I update! Actually, I'm planning on regular updates, but reviews would be nice...