YAY!! The now 17 years old girl from Finland is ready for action again!!! Hi guys, missed me? Yes, two days ago, on 25th of september was my 17th b-day and oh boy those party rocked!! I was drunk yes BUT i was safely at home, and nothing was broken or destroyed!! A nice evening, if I can say :D Ok, so here is the 7th chapter, JEESUS CHRIST, did I say 7th. Oh god! I think this chapter needs a little bit knowledge about the story of Jesus Christ, and the evangelic-lutheric-religion. Anyway, don't panic, I needed to do some research myself, I needed to fins a church in Japan :D Read and find out why!!!! Oh and tell me if this sucks, really I need to know!!


CHAPTER 7: Trying to find

By Eveliina

A long day alone, emptiness is so real. Never having a peace of mind. Running from what I can't see, and there is nowhere left to hide. Turn and face these empty eyes.

One week had passed.

One long, rainy week.

We worked days and nights, but we had only discovered V's true name and persona. Viola von Death. Beautiful ambitious and revengeful daughter of the charming mass murderer.

Nothing else.

I hadn't moved from the chair for a week.

I waited.

I quietly cried and waited.

Matsuda had figured out that Viola's father was one of the Kira's victims. As I had expected. The video from the last meeting didn't reveal anything new.

I had sat in my chair for a week now.

I had watched that tape for a week.

Light was in a church. It was the first clue, you could see the big altarpieces and colourful windows. I had ordered Watari to go and search every possible church in Japan. Abandoned, just built once, old and new once.

I had kept my mask on my face for a week now.

I had hide my agony and sorrow.

None of us hadn't talked for a week, only then when it was necessary. After Aizawa had left no one gave a word. They were afraid. Even though my eyes were empty was my look so cold that it made everyone shiver.

My look had been cold for a week.

Yagami-san came to me and pressed his heavy hand on my shoulder.

"L, you should take a little break."

I looked at him and was about to protest but he interrupted me.

"L you have been sitting the for a week now. A week! It's time to admit that we wont get any further in this situation until Viola contacts us, L, believe me."

I looked around. My desk was full of papers, Light's chair had a pile of videotapes and despite all that information, I didn't know how to solve the puzzle. For the first time I didn't know how to solve the blank puzzle. I didn't even found the right pieces for it.

Yagami-san was right.

I rose from my chair and with my head down I walked away, quietly, to the corridor. The corridor was long and dark. I went to upstairs into Misa's room, luckily Misa wasn't there, she had a photo-shoot to attend to. I walked around in her apartment.

I saw our past. In every place where Light and I had resisted the universe.

I sat on Misa's sofa. Misa had been away then too, but my brains didn't have the energy to remember where. But I remembered Light, and it felt it was the only thing that was enough for me. We sat on the sofa that day and Light climbed on to me. He pressed his lips on mine. I closed my eyes as I sank into the sofa, I sank into my memory.

I lay there for a moment, all I heard was my breathing in the dark room. When I got myself back to the corridor I turned around towards the door and I pressed my forehead on it. It was cold, but the memory of Light's breathing on my ear when he said he wanted me, was even warmer.

I climbed the stairs up to our bedroom. But when I reached the door I turned away. I didn't dare to look inside, 'cause I knew what would wait for me there. Sweat and passionate sighs. Clothes and sheets all over the place. Hate and love. And the only time when we let ourselves to be humans, just normal human beings… I would give anything, that I could get that night back.

I felt salty tears making their way into my eyes.

I turned around and headed to the bahtroom.

I wanted to live that one moment again. Even thought it would be painful, I wanted to live that moment again. The moment where there weren't any Kira or L, there were only Light and Lawliet, naked, just for each others eyes to look.

I opened the door and stepped inside into the transparent box. Like in some kind of a trans I opened the tap and I felt warm water rushing over me, making me wet immediately. I turned around and pressed my back into the wall, the water coming above me. I placed my hands under my shirt and I hugged myself tight, I let my arms wonder around my torso. Juts like Light's hands had done. I gave a sigh as I inched myself on the ground, my back still on the wall. I hugged myself once more and imagined that those arms where Light's strong ones, which would keep me safe and in one piece.

Time passed.

And I was sure I cried.

Because no one didn't saw me.

Then I got up, turned the water off and stepped out into the cold air.

I walked water dripping down on the floor into the sink, I pressed my hands on the sides and I looked my reflection on the mirror. And I hope that I would have never done that. I looked the same as always, black hair, white skin. But on the inside I was broken. Broken for the first time in my life. It was pathetic. I was broken because of the young boy. I was broken, 'cause I had broken the rules. Broken without Light.

I gripped the sides of the sink, my knuckles whiter that the tiles on the wall.

I needed to get grip of myself.


L didn't apologize breaking the rules. L didn't sob in the bathroom for anyone.

L was steady as a rock.

And L would save Kira, even if it would be his last thing he would have done alive.

I came back into our bedroom, tossed the wet shirt on the floor and took a new one on the closet. The trousers found their way too on t he floor, and just when I had the jeans button closed Matsuda ran inside, his face taken by anxiety and horror.


The red V-letter was in every screen which were in the working room.

I sat into my chair.

"L, it is not polite to keep your guest waiting." the monotonic voice said.

"It's not right to steal, V." I answered with the cold voice of mine. I felt everyone else holding back theirs breaths. There was tension, horror and a little piece of hope in the air.

"Ah, L. I believe that you and your little group are eager to see little Kira? Am I right?"

I didn't answer.

The screens went black and soon they showed us what we have been waited for a week.

But what we saw wasn't worth of all that waiting. I swallowed the piece on my throat, I swallowed my scream so V wouldn't hear my sorrow. But inside my head I screamed like never before.

Light had been tied into wooden cross and the cross had been lifted up in the air right above the altar by two ropes. The blood had dried on his beautiful face and his brown trousers were ruined by all the mud and blood mixed up together. The white shirt had been torn into pieces and I could see the stigma in his chest. Cross right in his heart. Light breathed heavily and his body was in pain. He tried to open his eyes and locate the camera.

And I was struggling to keep my myself still.

Light was hanging on the cross like Jesus who waited his last moment to come. They mocked Light, the men under him abused him by calling him a new Messiah. The camera zoomed away and Viola stepped in the screen, the golden mask shimmering by the candles light.

"There he is, the God of the new world." the girl said and smiled mockingly. "There he is, waiting for his salvation to come. So L? What are you going to do?"

I looked into the camera, I let my empty eyes to lock on those black wholes which played the part as the girls eyes. She got me a challenge.

And L never gave up.

And V knew it.

"Almighty God, you wonderfully created and yet more wonderfully restored the dignity of human nature. In your mercy, let us share the divine life of Jesus Christ who came so share our humanity, and who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever." Viola said, and we lost the connection.

"What was that all about…" Matsuda breathed after a long silence.

And for the first time in a week, I smiled.

"That Matsuda-san was our first clue from the place where Light is kept in." I said and turned around to contact Watari.

"Watari, did you got the tape? Good. Copy me the last V's sentences. Thank you, Watari." I spoke fast and confident. I saw the hope waking up in everyone.

"L, what do you mean?" Yagami-san asked with the voice full of hope.

"Gentlemen, please listen carefully. I want that you find every Japanese Christian churches' website and read all of them! Every word must be read! And you tell me immediately when you found those sentences what V just said."

"Why do we do that?" Matsuda asked. Sometimes I really thought why so young and naïve boy was in the police.

"if we want to find Light, we have to find a church. We have noticed over the last tape, that Light is held in a church. But what kind of a church, it has been a mystery for us. But now we are one step closer."

"But why she gave a clue which you can easily find on the internet?" Matsuda asked again.

"Because she is mocking me. She WANTS me to find her. She wants me to save Light. It is a part of her plan." I rose from the chair.

"She wants me to see Light dying, just like she saw her own father dying. Please, start the investigation immediately. One week has been thrown away, it is time to take the lost time back."

"YES!" the group yelled and inspired by the new hope they sat down to their computers and stared to find the grain of sand from the pile of rocks.

I walked myself out from the room and automatically headed towards the roof. I opened the door and stepped into the rain.

I was on the V's leach, but I didn't any other option.

L did everything he could to win.

L was childish, just like Light.

Light was going to suffer, just like Jesus.

But Light wouldn't be resurrected on the third day.

I try to find myself. I find the stranger trapped inside. And I'll take one more step away from the face I used to recognize. Familiar shadows closing in, suffocating fear descends. It comes alive, uncovered eyes.

Hahaa, I'm sure you didn't see that coming!! Ok, so now hands up if you are confused, I am more than happy to explain what the heck is happening right there. REVIEWS ARE ALWAYS IMPORTANT DO NOT FORGET THAT! I'm having an english-exam tomorrw, and instead of reading I write. So hugs here, if you want me to continue!

Song used: RED- Break me down (Red is BTW a christian-metal-kind-of-band-as-much-as-I-have-understood)

TRALALAA, 'till next time!! :D