Chapter 58: When push comes to shove… bust out a chainsaw. No one will ever see it coming…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"You are responsible for this… aren't you?" Yugito sighed as her eyebrow twitched. In front of her and Scabbard, the blonde Kumo jōnin C was running away from Bee as if his life depended on it.

"C! You can't fool me! The almighty Bee!" The jinchūriki roared as he attempted to catch the man. "I have seen the proof! Your gangsta' rapping skills are through the roof! Chill with me and spend some time, hangin' out and tradin' some rhymes!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." The Ōgakari mused in an almost innocent tone as he drank from his water bottle. "Bee just happened to read in one of the magazines he gets in the mail that C was the leading rapping expert in Kumo this morning. I had nothing to do with that… nor the fact that he can't seem to find said magazine anymore… though I must admit that this turn of events is rather entertaining…"

Yugito sighed as she saw C scream as he made a rather impressive leap from one of Kumo's mountain peak buildings to another, followed instantly by the determined pursuer. "You are a very scary person…"

Scab raised an eyebrow as he saw C start to try and use some genjutsu against Bee, only to fail horribly. "So I've been told… though to be frank, your comrade has not been respecting my privacy at all since I got here… I believe that this is simply karma's way of evening the scales…"

The female jinchūriki rolled her eyes as Bee tackled C and fell a good few stories down a mountain before they finally stopped and he starting to tie the man up. "Karma… if only…" She shook her head. "You're leaving in a few hours, correct?"

The Ōgakari nodded, watching Bee flip C onto his shoulder and ran away from the scene of the crime, most likely to the nearest karaoke bar. The man was too easy in his opinion. Zabuza was more fun to play with, easily. "I'll be off to Suna before returning to Konoha to prepare for the competition. Do you have an idea of who the Raikage is going to send to look at my wares?"

Yugito shrugged as the two watched Bee disappear from sighed. "No idea, but odds are likely that he's going to send Bee's team or Darui. Maybe both. They're among the best in the village when it comes to kenjutsu and swords… next to Bee, of course, but we both know that Raikage-sama would never send his brother to such an event unless it was really worth it."

"I almost wish he would…" Scab mused. "It would be pretty… amusing to watch." He cracked the smallest of smirks, causing Yugito to shiver.

"One can only imagine…" The woman replied. "Anyways, go get your stuff ready. Despite your wondrous advice for avoiding a new world order, the village has been on edge whenever you step out into the open."

"Fine…" The man sighed as he turned around and began to walk away. "I was about to go regardless. No doubt C will blame me for what happened the moment he escapes Bee and try to get me arrested despite the lack of any evidence…" He paused before he turned a corner. "However… before I leave, I really must let you know…" The small grin appeared on his face again. "Rolling around in that much catnip in the nude? That's simply unhealthy…"

Yugito froze with wide eyes as the man quickly walked around a corner. "I'll kill him…" She whispered before the air around her started to rise in temperature. "I'll KILL HIM!"

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

"He'll be up, about, and ready to annoy everyone in a 30 meter radius by tomorrow." Waltz sighed as the genin and chūnin in front of him all deflated and relaxed. "What? You all look like it's the first time you've seen him in such bad condition…"

"It's not that…" Ino mused. "It's just… different now that we know about… you know…"

"I was just worried about him." Sasuke muttered. "Honestly, the times he's hurt most are when he does something stupid and does the damage himself… especially when he uses the fox's powers. I think when I tell Sakura about this, she'll agree with me that he'll probably be his own cause of death."

"Is he taking visitors?" Hinata asked sadly, wrapped in bandages on various areas of her body to show how severe the beatings she took were. "I… want to apologize for putting him in danger again… and for causing his secret to get out… my father wishes to speak with him, too…"

"I'll see if I can get your clan permission to see him this afternoon. You don't have to apologize for the first part. I was the one who threw him into your compound." Waltz smiled gently despite the looks of disbelief the kids gave him. "Besides, you know he wouldn't blame you for something like this… most likely, he's just going to complain about blowing himself up… trust me, this isn't the first time I've seen a situation like this."

"I don't even want to ask, old man…" Kin deadpanned.

"But he is most likely correct…" Shino mused, shifting his glasses with his free hand. "Naruto is not one to dwell on such things… which is a good thing, in this case."

"Hm… he's probably going to be more irritated that he's stuck in the hospital again." Sasuke smirked. "He hates being here…"

"Um…" Hinata spoke up, grabbing everyone's attention. "Waltz-sama… can you… can you please teach me how to heal injuries made by the Kyūbi?" Everyone's eyes widened momentarily. "When Haku, I, and Ino tried to help, we could only barely stop him from bleeding and his wounds from getting infected…"

"Now that I think about it… she's right…" Ino mused. "Those burns and cuts just wouldn't close or go away no matter how much chakra we put into the healing, and when I tried to filter out the corrupted skin, my chakra was simply knocked back…"

"I am not surprised. It was your first time dealing with extensive foreign chakra poisoning, after all." Waltz sighed, getting confused looks from the children. "Demon chakra is exceptionally potent and corrosive to most humans… you could say its effects are akin to an advanced version of applying large amounts of fire chakra directly to another person's system, though the effects are significantly reduced for those whose bodies are used to such exposure in the first place, such as other containers. In order to quickly and effectively heal such wounds, you would not only need the correct technique to do so, but sufficient experience, practice, chakra control, and reserves. To my knowledge, there are possibly at the most half a dozen individuals in the Elemental Nations that are able to efficiently and properly counter and heal chakra laced wounds made by tailed beasts without any hesitation, including Tsunade and myself." The children's eyes widened in surprise.

"How long w-would it take to learn how to heal those sort of wounds that way?" Hinata asked, undeterred in the slightest.

The old man grinned briefly before stroking his beard. "It depends from person to person. If Tsunade or I only taught you how to deal with chakra based injuries, based on your learning curve… it would take Sakura and Hinata about a year to a year and a half… Haku two, and Ino three… and that is if you only focus on these specific brands of injuries and you did nothing but study and practice medicine based ninjutsu during that time frame…" He grunted as he stretched a little. 'Though with Sakura's memories the way they are now and Hinata's bloodline aiding them, I could most likely cut their training down to just under a year…' "A more realistic training schedule would double, if not triple the time it would take so that you would have a more balanced education in addition to allowing you to take missions… so I would only expect Hinata and Sakura to realistically be able to learn how to deal with these sort of injuries any time soon…"

Hinata's face temporarily brightened up a bit while Ino and Haku looked somewhat depressed. "Really? That makes me feel much better… thank you." The shy girl bowed.

"Damn it… forehead just keeps on beating me…" Ino growled.

"I suggest we forget about all the past unyouthful events!" Lee stated loudly, causing his friends to jump. "Once Naruto-kun is out of the hospital, we should celebrate the rescue of Neji and Hinata-san's family! We could do it during the Kyūbi festi…" He paused as he realized what he was about to say and everyone else froze as well. "…val."

"And we're right back to where we started…" Kiba groaned.

"This is indeed quite a predicament…" Sai mused curiously. "Judging from what I have heard about Uzumaki-san's past, I would be inclined to guess that he is not very welcome during the festivities due to his status as a demon container…"

"Now that I think about it… wasn't he always absent from class around the time of the festival?" Ino asked curiously.

"If I were in his shoes, I would do the exact same thing." Kin shrugged. "Who would want to be treated like shit on their birthday? Everyone in the village celebrating for something else entirely and you're never invited, despite the fact that it's supposed to be a special day for you? That must suck."

There was a brief silence before Sai spoke up. "Would it not be appropriate to throw him a party to celebrate his birthday?"

All of them blinked before turning to the pale boy.

"Finally someone says it…" Grumbled Waltz as he walked away to treat more patients. "I swear, the more you put kids in combat situations, the worse they are at coming up with simple solutions to everyday tasks…"

"I can't believe Sai came up with that idea first." Kiba whispered out loud. "Something is clearly wrong with the rest of us…"

"It seems as if you were born without a part of your brain in addition to your penis, Kiba." Sai said with a fake smile.

"Chōji! Hold Kiba down! We have more things to worry about than Sai's half true statement!" Ino yelled, suddenly full of energy again.

"Oh boy… Ino's in party preparation mode…" Chōji sighed as he held a struggling Kiba in a full nelson.

"What is with you and my penis, you pale assed gothic freak?" The Inuzuka roared defiantly.

"Is there something we should be worried about?" Tenten asked curiously as she saw Ino start to laugh hysterically.

"Ino's a fangirl who was trained by Anko and still somehow maintains her position as one of the village's main gossips." Sasuke deadpanned as he slowly inched away from the girl. "I think it's safe to say that she's going to be bossing us around for a good few days straight… especially since Sakura and Shikamaru aren't here to reign her in…"

"Amazing…" Lee gasped as he watched Ino laugh some more. "I can actually see her flames of youth…"

o. o. o.

Council Meeting:

"Reports show that we have lost a sizeable portion of our shinobi due to this incident…" Shikaku droned as he went over the paperwork. "Over 40 of our men were found dead inside the prison when we finally got inside, and another 100 were found dead in various areas around the village. In addition to them, there are roughly 300 separate reports of injuries from both shinobi and civilian alike, though most are thankfully superficial." He turned to Hiashi, who looked like he had better days. "Luckily, the worst potential blow of this incident, the loss of the Hyūga clan, has been avoided thanks to Chūnin Naruto Uzumaki. Though there were no major injuries to the Hyūga clan in particular, I would advise against sending any Hyūga on missions outside the village for two weeks as a precaution, with mandatory psychological evaluation. Other than some damages due to the fighting, I'd say we got off lucky."

"What about the escapees?" Shibi asked inquisitively. "How many were apprehended, escaped, or killed?"

Shikaku looked at the report. "The total escaped convicts number around 400. About ¾ of the released prisoners engaged Konoha forces after escaping the prison, which was apparently what they were asked to do by the ex-Hyūga in return for their freedom. The rest just tried to get out of the country. Almost the entirety of the ones that stayed, including the Legendary Stupid Brothers, the Demon brothers of Kiri, and the escaped Hyūga were either killed or captured by the end of the day's incident, but odds are that there were some that escaped. As for the remaining quarter, we have received multiple reports of border and security patrols encountering hostile shinobi forces and dispatching them appropriately. Judging from the numbers, we have at most an eigth of the prison's populace still at large in the Land of Fire, while our prison's population has been reduced to at most half."

"At least we won't have to spend as much money keeping those monsters alive now…" Spat a civilian council member, getting grumbles of agreement.

"What of the Ky… Uzumaki?" Asked another civilian council member. "I heard that despite his efforts, he still sustained some unexpected damage."

Tsunade frowned. "Naruto Uzumaki infiltrated the Hyūga compound after gaining information about the situation there before everyone else after one member and some POWs attempted to kidnap Hiashi's youngest daughter from the academy. Almost immediately after he got in, however, he was captured, though it is likely that he expected to in the first place." 'I'll just leave out the part about him being thrown in there against his will…' The woman laughed nervously to herself.

"As you know, I had asked Hideki Hyūga that I would not 'agree to his terms' unless he brought out all the hostages so I could make sure that they were still all alive and in suitable shape. While everyone's attention was… ahem… preoccupied by another individual, Uzumaki somehow managed to break the seal the Hyūga had placed on him to restrict the Kyūbi's chakra, and unleashed enough of the demon's chakra to unblock his tenketsu before immediately and seamlessly creating and replacing all the hostages with his shadow clones via the standard replacement technique before anyone could catch him. He then used the exploding clone technique to finish off the escapees… however…"

She sweatdropped. "However, he apparently forgot or was unable to replace himself with a clone before they went off, and he himself got caught in the blast as well." 'Like hell I'll tell them that damage influenced by the Kyūbi slows down his healing abilities…' "Because of this, he's been in the hospital since the incident, though he's supposed to be checked out for release by tomorrow. To my and Jiraiya's knowledge, nothing has changed with his seal, so there is nothing to worry about there."

"As soon as this incident is taken care of, I would like to place my recommendation for the boy to be promoted to jōnin as soon as he completes his original requirements for becoming a special jōnin." Hiashi stated clearly and without any hesitation, getting many odd looks from the rest of the council. "My clan owes the boy a debt that cannot be repaid anytime soon."

"Hiashi… I know Naruto has shown to be an outstanding ninja for his age, but don't you think you're rushing things a bit?" Chōza asked.

"I'm with Chōza." Shikaku yawned. "At least let the boy get promoted to special jōnin and get a bit of experience first before you put him in missions over his head… he's still a bit green, if you ask me."

"No…" The man stated, getting more raised eyebrows. "While I was imprisoned, I managed to get enough control of my chakra to use my eyes again. When we were brought out, I managed to get a good look at the boy… bruised, sealed in more ways than one, and utterly defenseless… yet it did not stop him at all from what he had done. There was no hesitation in the boy as he was brought out in front of everyone despite how he acted. He was completely calm, up to the point where he released the Kyūbi's chakra, timing it perfectly when, as Tsunade-sama said, everyone was distracted. There are jōnin and ANBU who would buckle under that sort of pressure, yet this boy of all things not only managed to keep his head completely under control, but rescued an entire clan from a hostage situation single handedly."

He paused. "I have spoken to my daughter and nephew about Uzumaki since the incident. While they both can agree that his behavior is less than ideal at times, they also attest to his remarkable leadership ability and his strategic mind. We are all aware of his combat potential, but the unquestionable loyalty they have for him, despite the fact that they recently found out about the Kyūbi, is something I find remarkable. There was no hesitation in them at all." He closed his eyes. "It takes a special kind of person to have that sort of effect on others, regardless of their age, and especially so soon after the Chūnin Exam invasion. Many other shinobi that have worked with the boy recently also attested to his capability." He opened his eyes again. "I may be wrong… but to me, the boy is already jōnin material."

The room was silent before Danzō snorted. "Humph. Regardless of what you believe, Hiashi, the boy is still too rash and unrefined to take such a position just yet, if at all." He ignored Tsunade's glare. "Back to the incident at the Hyūga's, it appears as if the overall method of escape was an consensual agreement between the Hyūga and the Oto PO's. With the Hyūga's knowledge of seals, combined with the outdated security systems of the prison, it was only a matter of time before they managed to break out… I have been warning Sarutobi and you, Hokage-sama, for quite some time that this issue needed to be addressed… in addition to your lack of thought in simply keeping those degenerates alive in the first place. Once they served their purpose, we should have disposed of them. Instead, we allowed them to fester and interact, resulting in this disaster…"

"We would be no better than Iwa or the Bloody Mist if we took such protocol." Tsunade frowned. "Despite this setback, we had managed to convert a good 50 Oto shinobi into our forces, many of which are now acting as spies for us. What happened was unfortunate, and yes, steps could have been taken to prevent this, but radical decisions are the last thing we want to do. Should we act in a violent or aggressive manner now, so soon after our victory over the invasion, it would send the wrong message to other villages and strain our relationships. It's a miracle that Iwa has sent an emissary at all, and you want to risk him coming back and telling people that Konoha of all places is executing prisoners left and right? The village's mission income would drop instantly!"

"She's right." Shikaku yawned. "Part of the reason why we get so much business is because our ninja are supposed to be easier to approach and interact with the clients than those from the other villages. Take away that and we'd lose a lot of our appeal to customers."

"I am merely stating a fact." Danzō frowned. "How you wish to interpret it is up to you."

Tsunade and many other members of the council glared at the man before calming down. It wouldn't do to press a worthless subject. "Since we pretty much discussed the damages, I believe we should talk about repairs and management next. We are still not done with the overall repairs from the invasion, so we have plenty of carpenters and artisans inside the village…"

o. o. o.

Later:

"So why are we doing this again?" Kiba groaned as he and all the other males in his age group carried heavy bags to the Ōgakari compound, filled with stuff that Ino had written down.

"Because you guys feel guilty about how much crap you put Naruto through when we were kids." Sasuke yawned. "I'm past that phase. Ino just threatened to post pictures of me naked through the town if I didn't agree to help." He noticed that the other boys were staring at him dumbfounded. "She was one of my biggest fangirls before she went out with Chōji. You honestly don't think that she would have snuck or fabricated some pictures of me in all the time she and Sakura have been chasing me?"

Many of the boys grumbled in agreement, avoiding eye contact with the seemingly unconcerned Uchiha.

"Why the Ōgakari's, though?" Chōji mused. "Wouldn't it make more sense to set things up at his place or at one of our homes?"

"Most of our families will be celebrating the festivities in town." Shino replied. "Many would not appreciate an unsupervised party in our clan compounds. As for Naruto's apartment… it is far too small to hold a party there."

"Plus Ino would have a meltdown trying to make an awesome party in a cramped place like that." Chōji laughed.

"Almost makes me want to see her try to do it… too bad she would drag us into that mess. I prefer not to work on hopeless tasks." Neji stated.

"So long as we don't go anywhere off limits, I doubt the Ōgakari would mind if we got a head start setting things up without their permission." Sasuke mused. "Odds are that they'll start helping us out the moment they find out what we're doing…" He paused. "That reminds me… does anyone in our group other than the dobe and Shikamaru actually have access to their place?"

The boys looked at each other curiously. Despite going into the building multiple times, they were well aware that it was surprisingly well fortified. If you weren't allowed to get in by yourself, then you weren't going to get in unless someone else opened the door. They had seen many times what happened to people that tried to sneak in, and they preferred not to have to sneak back home with all their clothes super glued to their body in all the places that didn't matter. How the clan even made a seal like that in the first place was still beyond all of them…

"I believe Haku is still residing in the building, so entering should pose no issue." Shino spoke up, causing the rest of the males to relax.

"Thank god…" Chōji whimpered. "Ino would have probably tried to force her way in if we had to…"

"So what youthful gifts are you going to get Naruto?" Lee asked curiously, causing all of the boys to freeze in their tracks.

"Hm… I knew we forgot something…" Sasuke mused before shrugging. "Eh. The dobe is a jutsu freak, so I guess I could get him one or two scrolls from my family vault. It's not like I'm going to be learning how to use wind or earth styles anytime soon."

"An interesting idea…" Shino mused as they turned the corner to make their way to the Ōgakari's. "I believe that I can procure some wares from my clan that he may find acceptable…"

"Heh. You guys are over thinking things." Chōji grinned. "I'm just going to challenge him to another ramen eating contest at Ichiraku's... all on me."

"Chōji, you are the only one who would be able to do that." Kiba sighed before pausing and began to grin evilly. "Oh… but I do have one hell of a good gift for him… and everyone else too…"

"If it's a stripper in a large cake, then the answer is no, Kiba. We would all be murdered by our female teammates before they would have the chance to stop themselves." Neji deadpanned.

"What? Hell no!" The Inuzuka roared. "I'm saving that memory for my 17th birthday… far… FAR away from my mom and sis."

"It's true." Shino mused. "He's told me his plans for the event at least 7 times since we became teammates… why, I will never know."

"Oh come on Shino. Don't be like that." Kiba moaned. "As soon as you hit puberty, you'll see how awesome my idea is…"

Chōji laughed. "Haha! That's just wrong hahaha."

Shino didn't say anything, but was silently plotting to send some ticks to the Inuzuka's bed in the near future. "Say what you will, Kiba. In the end, you are the only one in our group that didn't make it to the finals of the Chūnin Exam…"

Kiba drooped almost instantly. "That was uncalled for…"

Throughout the entire conversation, Sai remained quiet and observed how his new comrades interacted. He couldn't help but remember his brother and the time spent with him. Perhaps if he stayed with these people more, he could remember what he wanted to draw in his book…

o. o. o.

In a cave in the Land of Rice Paddies:

"Report." Stated the holographic form of Pain in front of 5 other transparent bodies.

"Mission accomplished… unfortunately." Kakuzu grunted irritably.

"Heh." Laughed the form of Hidan as he shouldered his scythe. "Those pagan weaklings didn't stand a chance. Jashin-sama's gonna be pissed at me for wasting my abilities on such trash."

"Sasori… any chance you want to trade partners?" The heart stealer asked casually. "This idiot's mouth is causing me a massive headache…"

"Odd how you would want to exchange him for a man with 4 mouths…" The puppet master growled. "Normally you would have killed the fool by now…"

"If only I could…" The Taki shinobi grunted.

"Oi oi! Did that freak just call me an idiot?" Hidan asked angrily.

"Well, what do you know?" Deidara chuckled. "The tasteless backwoods wonder can understand what we're saying after all…"

"You'll be my next sacrifice to Jashin-sama!" The zealot roared.

"Enough." Pain ordered, immediately silencing the S-class shinobi. "The teams will remain the same. I will not expend more resources to try to find another appropriate partner for you, Kakuzu. Despite your age, your childlike temper has proven itself to be your biggest weakness, and your current partner is the result of your flaws. You are stuck with him."

"Tch. Fine." Kakuzu grunted.

"Now then, what have you found about your respective jinchūriki?" The leader asked in the same cold voice.

"Rumor has it that the Gobi has been busted out of Iwa's high security prison and is running around without a leash." Sasori grunted. "If it's true, then now might be the best time to try and get him without interference. If he's caught again, it will be significantly more irritating to capture him with the amount of security around…"

"Heh. He's right, plus Han was never one to be taken lightly, and he's an annoying bastard when it comes to running away." Deidara snorted. "Those steam techniques of his always made him a pain to catch. We used to say that he was our version of that guy Zabuza who's famous for the Silent Killing technique, though he sucks at being silent if you know how to piss him off. Hn."

"Han of Iwa is a jinchūriki?" Kakuzu mused in an interested tone. "He has a fairly high bounty on his head. We could make use of that after we are done with him."

"Oi! Don't sully a good kill with your pagan ways, you bastard! Jashin-sama despises those like you!" Hidan roared.

"I will keep that in mind. However, preparations for extracting the bijū are not yet ready, so it would be best for you to keep tabs on him." Pain nodded, ignoring Hidan's outburst. "And the Yonbi?"

"Nothing yet. There have been a lot of rumors about him lately in the Land of Earth, but nothing solid…" Sasori grunted. "I would have had an easier time gathering information if my fool of a partner wasn't one of the most wanted men there…"

"That stupid old man and that annoying village never appreciated the greatness of my art! Hn!" Deidara stated firmly.

"What of that spy of yours that was with Orochimaru?" Pain asked. "Despite his leaks, you seemed to be under the impression that he was quite talented…"

"He is." Sasori grunted. "He's stationed in a resting town frequently used by Iwa shinobi to gather more intel as well as conduct some research for me… he's the main source of the info we got on the Yon and Gobi so far… but I've made sure that he isn't connected to anything else in the organization."

"That glasses wearing freak still creeps me out…" Deidara grunted. "He has that insane scientist look in his eyes…"

"Better than the look of an insane bomber with mouths on his hands…" Sasori mused out loud.

"Good… I will not tolerate having any more loose ends after Orochimaru." Pain spoke up before turning to Kakuzu. "What of the Nanabi?"

"Nothing but rumors, if you could even call them that." Kakuzu grunted. "My village's security is tighter than most of the others, so a good number of the people one would normally talk to or approach are unreachable. I'm still waiting at one of the village's main travelling paths for a jōnin to pass by to get the information, but no luck yet. They might have changed the routes they used since the last time I was in the area."

"I have heard that Taki is rather confident in its natural and military defenses… though I have yet to test it out for myself…" Sasori mused.

"You will continue with your tasks." Pain stated. "Kisame and Itachi are out performing most of our hands-on requests at the moment, so there is no need to rush them…"

"Feh." Deidara grunted. "Itachi. That stuck up bastard not only disrespects my art, but he gets the best missions too. Whatever… it will make killing him all the more enjoyable. Hn."

"A stupid talentless brat like you doesn't stand a chance against Itachi. Stop complaining and actually be useful for once…" Sasori replied as his and Kakuzu's teams disappeared, leaving Pain's and Konan's transparent bodies.

"Your thoughts?" Pain asked as he glanced at his own partner.

"Nothing that isn't within our abilities. The Gobi is unfortunate, yet we both know we are not yet ready to move…" Konan voiced her opinion in a calm voice, reflecting what Nagato was already thinking. "My only concern is Sasori's spy that he still has yet to dispose of. The boy supposedly was working directly under the snake for years without the man being the wiser… yet we are both well aware of how crafty Orochimaru was…"

The leader remained silent for a few seconds. "I will order Sasori to dispatch him once he has served his purpose. As of this moment, he is one of our few reliable leads for two of the jinchūriki…"

"Understood…" The woman nodded as her friend's image disappeared. If one paid close enough attention, they would have noticed her eyes momentarily showing sorrow before her own body faded away.

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

Naruto slowly pushed his aching body up as he attempted to figure out what the hell happened to him. "Ugh… man, I feel like I just went 10 rounds against Waltz…" He grumbled as he looked at the bandages wrapped around roughly half his body, making it hard to move. "… And if the old man didn't heal me right after each time I fought him, I would have looked like it too…" He slumped back into the bed and looked at the room. "The hospital… great…" He groaned, already formulating an escape plan in the back of his head based on where in the building he assumed he was in judging from his view out of the window. Even after the time traveling and personal training with Ghost, the boy could instantly tell where he was in the building via his window view due to the number of times he landed himself here when he was a kid. "4th floor, central area… damn it, Granny knew I'd try to escape… this is the hardest part to get away from without getting caught other than the insanity ward…" His eyebrows twitched as he sensed two ANBU outside his window and two more on either side of his door. "I guess I really did get hurt this time…" He froze as he suddenly remembered how he got into that state in the first place. "… By myself? Oh, for fuck's sake." The boy groaned as he flopped back into bed. "How was I supposed to know that flaring that much of the fuzzbutt's chakra at once when I was originally running on empty would screw with my control so badly that I couldn't use the replacement technique?"

"I'm fairly certain that it was in one of the basic chakra control books I forced you to read." Replied a casual voice from under the boy's bed, causing him to jump.

After Naruto got his heart below the red again, he frowned and looked under his bed to see Ghost lying there. "Aside from being here to point out my lack of intelligence, any reason why you are under my bed?"

"I can't feel my legs, so isn't it common sense that I should go to a hospital?" The blind man asked curiously.

"Not under my bed with no one else knowing you're here." The boy argued and pointing accusingly.

"The civilian nurses wear short skirts and interesting underwear? Plus with all the antibiotics around, Hana and Anko can't track me?" The man grinned childishly and raising an eyebrow in a perverted fashion.

"A more realistic and reasonable answer, but there is no way that Granny would let a civilian doctor take care of me after I blew myself up. She would do it herself, and even you aren't dumb enough to peek… you know what, scratch that last thought, you are dumb enough." Naruto reasoned, remembering what happened during previous trips to the hospital.

"I prefer the term, willing enough to expand on his own personal horizons… heheheh… horizons… heheheh… Tsunade's boobs…" The immortal laughed immaturely.

"And now for your real reason for being here?" Naruto asked skeptically as he laid back down on his bed. There was a brief silence as the two males stared at each other before both began to sweat drop. "You forgot, didn't you?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yep." Ghost chuckled sheepishly. "By the way, you have guests in 3… 2…"

The door to the room opened to give way to Hinata, Neji, Hanabi, Hiashi, and many other Hyūga. The blonde and the clan looked at each other blankly in surprise for a few seconds before Hinata ran forward. "Naruto-kun! You're awake!" The girl yelled in relief as she hugged the boy in what would be a very adorable hug if the boy wasn't still a bit sore from his injuries.

"Hinata! Wounds! Hugs! Pain!" The boy gasped before the girl noticed how much discomfort she was causing him and jumped back.

"Well, that was one way to show our appreciation for the one who saved our clan…" Hiashi sighed as the large crowd of white eyed individuals walked in.

"All you all right Naruto-sensei?" Hanabi asked curiously as the blonde took in deep breaths.

"My skin's on fire, I think some of my ribs are bruised, and I apparently blew myself up…" The boy panted as he tried to make the stinging sensation he was feeling go away. "Yeah… this is just like that time I pranked the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi in the same night a few years ago. Just give me a few seconds for the throbbing to go down and remember all the details of what the heck I did before I passed out…"

The Hyūga in the room somehow remained stoic, but they all still sweatdropped none the less. "We… will not ask…" Hiashi coughed.

"…Sorry…" Hinata mumbled as she let her head droop, covering her eyes as her hands began to glow. She pressed them against Naruto's wrapped body and soon enough most of the pain began to recede.

"It's fine, Hinata-chan." Naruto laughed nervously. "Worse things have happened to me… like Ero-nii's training…" He paused as he sensed that the man under his bed was gone. "Of course…" He grumbled before clearing his mind again and turning to Hiashi. "So… I like having guests and all… but why is practically half the Hyūga clan crammed into my room?"

"Because there isn't enough room for the other half." Hiashi stated bluntly, causing Naruto and several other Hyūga to stare and blink at the man for several seconds, unable to determine if the man had actually cracked a joke or if he was being dead serious. "Uzumaki, you have truly underestimated how great of a deed you have done for our clan." Hiashi continued, ignoring the looks he was getting. "Were it not for your quick actions, my clan would have suffered one of two unsavory fates that would have ruined us for generations, if not permanently…" Then he bowed, which had caught pretty much everyone there by surprised. "We are in your debt."

The blonde blinked absently for several seconds before sighing and scratching the back of his head with his free arm. "Man… I'm never good with these things…" He moaned to himself. "Um… well… okay. Hiashi-sama, can you please pick yourself up? I mean, I know I helped you guys out a lot… and I know what I did mean a lot… but if you could, can you please act as if it wasn't such a big deal?" Everyone in the room blinked and looked at him curiously. "I mean… it's likely that you guys are going to save me in the future for one thing or another on a mission, and odds were likely that someone from your clan saved one of my parents' lives at one point or another before I was born…"

Hiashi looked up at the seemingly carefree child. 'To bring up the subject of his lineage so carelessly… does he know?' "I see…" The leader of the Hyūga sighed. "You are most likely correct… however, we still feel a need to repay you considering our ineptitude led to your condition and the loss of your weapons…"

"I said it's fine… wait… what?" Naruto blinked as he registered what Hiashi just mentioned. "What the heck happened to my talons? They were taken off of me when I was first captured, but why would they get damaged? They're not designed for adults' arms, but they were still nice enough to hold onto in case they had a use for it later…"

Neji stepped up. "Apparently while you were being held captive, several of the non-Hyūga escapees that were helping Hideki scavenged the property for items of value that they could sell for some extra ryō when they finally left. Many artifacts and rare items were taken from various parts of the compound… and apparently, one of them found your bracers to be rather appealing. Since all the Oto escapees were holding my clan hostage… when you decided to free everyone…"

"I ended up blowing up my favorite weapons in addition to myself…" Groaned the jinchūriki as he rubbed the sides of his forehead. "Man… those babies were almost as famous as I was according to the guys on guard duty." He sighed. "Oh well… I guess the timing is convenient I guess… my taijutsu has been getting a bit sloppy cause I've been relying on them a bit much lately…"

"Taijutsu?" Hiashi asked, looking at the boy curiously, as everyone else in the room. From what they remembered, the boy's form, while a bit unrefined, was still highly advanced and effective for his age and rank.

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. I'm trying to make my own style to incorporate my Seventh Sense so that I can fight from all angles, but it's hit a dead zone. Ero-nii told me that guys like us don't really have a set style, but study a lot of them in general. Afterwards, we just use the moves and forms that we feel the most natural with at the time. Almost none of the styles we practice are truly mastered, but the basics and foundations are still there. The only problem is that I'm at a bit of a roadblock." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "All the forms I've come across lately require or at least focus on having your opponent in front of you and kinda draw a blank when it comes to fights from all angles. There are techniques and strategies for that kind of situation, but none can really capitalize on actually being able to tell where everything around you is." He laughed. "Ero-nii wouldn't help me out 'cause this was supposed to be my own style, and I know that the Hyūga don't like telling anyone about the specifics of their style, so I sort of shelved that since with my talons I could pull off Toad Style pretty well…"

Hiashi's eyes widened. "Toad Style? Isn't that reserved for those who have mastered the Sage Arts possessed by the Toad summons?"

The blonde paled. "Ah… um… well yeah… sort of… but the toad elders like me and thought I could at least… you know get a head start on that taijutsu training before they actually started me on the sage training…" 'A bit of a stretch… but it's technically true…' The blonde mentally laughed nervously. 'Pa wanted to knock out any kinks in my form after I first talked to him in this time period before he wanted to test out my sage abilities again…' "I think they warmed up to me after they found out that I call Jiraiya Ero-Sennin…"

Neji sighed. "Ero-Sennin… Ero-nii… you weren't kidding when you said you naturally attract perverts to yourself…"

Naruto frowned at Neji and pretended to not see the horrific shade of red that Hinata's face had become. "You forgot Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, the old man, that guy Ebisu who trains Konohamaru, those other two perverted old guys from Iwa…" The blonde started to count on his fingers before noticing everyone staring at him. "What? My sexy technique is really good at distracting people and revealing closet perverts. I've only come across a handful of men who aren't really affected by it when they aren't expecting anything. On a side note… I do believe that our treasured last Uchiha is batting for the other team…"

"For the last time Dobe, I'm Not Gay!" Shouted a voice from the hallway.

"Then go on a date with Sakura already!" Naruto replied, not at all surprised with his teammate's presence. "I swear, if you hold back anymore, your little Uchiha is gonna fall off!"

"I keep on telling you! Every time it looks like we get closer, she reverts back into some of her fangirl habits!" The Uchiha countered. "The last time I left her alone in my room, I found her trying to steal some of my boxers!"

"Uh…" The blonde coughed. "That was actually my fault. I was planning a prank on you and I needed bait for lure the fan girls into position… It took a pretty ryō and some of my blackmailing photos of you for Sakura to play along with it in the first place…"

"The fangirl boxer black market incident was because of you? I'll kill you!" Roared the Uchiha as sounds of some minor scuffling was heard outside the room.

Hiashi coughed, gaining the blonde's attention once again. "If we can get back on our original conversation about your taijutsu… why did you not simply ask my daughter for help?"

Naruto shrugged as Hinata continued to try and make herself invisible while healing her secret boyfriend. "Like I said, you guys are known for keeping everything about your bloodline and style a secret with a near religious passion. I mean, yeah, I asked Hinata-chan for a few pointers for what I should do in certain situations, but what I really needed were the basic and maybe some of the advanced kata that were the foundation for those tactics. Since I didn't want her to get into trouble with her family, I didn't ask her for those. I know what to do, but my body doesn't do it on reflex, and since that's half of what any taijutsu is, I'm stuck."

Hiashi looked at the boy curiously. "You sound as if your teacher has already learned a style that covers said weakness…"

"He did." Naruto yawned. "He said he came across some clan a long time ago that possessed a really potent sensory ability like ours and they taught him some of their basics after he did a few favors for them. I have no idea who or where they are now though." He shrugged. "But he's a lot like Ero-Sennin. He gives me hints, but I pretty much always have to figure out how to do the big things by myself… like chakra control… and sneaking around clan compounds in order to pull pranks while increasing my stealth… and how to warm up the air around me after shoving me in a freezer for nearly half a day… and surviving being thrown off a cliff… and that one time he left me in a bar owned by some insane ex-jōnin to take care of Hana and Anko-sensei while they were both blackout drunk and the tab wasn't paid… and that time…"

"I see that he's a very thorough teacher…" Hiashi stated blandly causing everyone to stare at him again.

'Is he doing this on purpose?' They all thought, clearly confused.

"Still…" The leader continued. "I thank you for your consideration of my daughter's and clan's wellbeing… though it is not necessary anymore. Normally we would deny anyone from learning any of the specifics of our clan art without a second thought. However, I believe you have proven to be an exception." Everyone's eyes widened. "Please come to our clan compound whenever you are ready to start your training… I will make sure that we will have adequate space for you to practice alongside your clones…" 'It's not like they're going to be outside of the clan for long after all, given that you are attracted to my daughter and are secretly engaged to her… even if you don't know of that second part…' The man sighed to himself.

"Th-thanks Hiashi-sama…" Naruto gaped, not really ever expecting any of the Hyūga to help him out. He had thought that he was going to have to make something up in order to cover that blind spot in his style. "Wait… how do you know that I train with my clones?" The blonde paused before leering at the man again skeptically.

Hiashi snorted. "No, I have not been spying on you Naruto. My daughter and nephew have seen you train using them many times. I do try to make a habit of conversing with them, after all…"

'This time through you do, at least…' The blonde deadpanned. "Heh… yeah. Shadow clones are awesome. It's too bad they take up so much chakra for everyone else though… actually… I thank that's a good thing now that I think about it. I mean… can you imagine what it would have been like if fangirls could use it?"

Thump.

Everyone paused as they turned to the hallway where the sound came from. "Hiashi-sama! Sasuke Uchiha has just collapsed for some reason!" Shouted a random clan member, causing those who knew Sasuke to sweatdrop. "We swear we had nothing to do with it!"

"Note to self… teach Sakura the shadow clone technique and bribe her to act like a fangirl for Sasuke again…" Naruto mumbled as he wrote down the thought in a small booklet that wasn't there before. "Money spent for her to do so is irrelevant…"

Hiashi sighed. "Uzumaki, if it is possible, can you please behave more appropriately? If not for me, then for my clan, who took their time out of their busy schedule to come here. It is rather unbecoming of you and embarrassing to us to act the way you are currently are when we are showing you our gratitude."

The blonde stopped writing for a moment before sighing and putting down his booklet. Looking up, almost all the Hyūga flinched at the sudden change in demeanor of the boy. His eyes were sharper and his posture seemed more adult-like. Still, there was a strong sense of relaxation and aloofness in the way he held himself. "Sorry… but it's a bad habit of mine…" The blonde chuckled lightly. "I'm not really good with dealing with these situations, so I kinda dumb myself down to make things more manageable for me."

'I've seen him like this before when he was fighting Sasuke and when he was ordering us during the invasion…' Neji mused. 'He's still trying to keep his childish personality… but he's also completely in control of himself now… he reminds me of how Gai-sensei acts in tense situations… who are you Uzumaki'?

Hiashi nodded. "It's understandable. Anyway, I've had my say here. I must get back to the compound. Despite those traitors being ex-Main house Hyūga, the state they left many of the rooms in the compound is below abysmal…"

"Well, prison does have a habit of changing people." Naruto sniggered. "Thanks again for helping out with my taijutsu…"

The next few hours went on pretty much as expected. One by one, the Hyūga clan personally thanked the blonde and offered various gifts to the boy, who sheepishly turned down almost all of them (he wasn't much of an art collector, and he had enough nice clothes to ensure that he wouldn't need any more for a while). Sasuke was taken to a nearby room for some minor stress relieving therapy, and Neji, Hanabi, and Hinata stayed by the blonde's side, being the last people in his room.

"So the academy's shut down until all the renovations to the building and the therapy for all the students are done?" Naruto asked skeptically as he looked at Hanabi. "Lucky…"

Neji's eyebrow twitched. "Her family almost died and she was almost kidnapped by homicidal escapees and you call her lucky?"

"Bah! Mere details and excuses to hide the true goal of their evil!" The blonde claimed in an authoritative tone. "It was to rid the world of our academy and prevent me from sharing my awesomeness with the younger generation! Isn't that right, Hinata-chan?" He paused for confirmation, only to get a mumbled groan from the girl, whose hands were still somewhat glowing on Naruto's chest. "Hinata-chan… how long have you been healing me?" Naruto said slowly, growing more concerned with each second.

Hinata responded by collapsing across his lap…

o. o. o.

Several floors below:

"You know, I was wondering when they'd notice that she was constantly healing him for the past 2 hours…" Ghost sighed as he sipped some tea and leaned against the table that Waltz was doing paperwork on.

"She'll be fine." The old man sighed as he finished up his report. "It's just a minor case of chakra exhaustion and she's in a hospital. It's not like there isn't anyone to help…"

"So who were you working on for the past couple hours?" The blind immortal asked curiously as he tried to get a better look at the files.

"It was one of the idiots who survived Naruto's bombing run." Waltz replied bluntly. "The man had a good portion of one of his arms blown off and burns over the rest of his body. It was so severe that only Tsunade and I were allowed to do any risky procedures on him…" A faint smirk flashed through his beard…

"You did that thing where you closed his wounds in a way that his nerves were exposed on the outside and would slowly decay in a painful and drawn out fashion, yet not so painful that he would actually require more medical help until a few months from now… again… didn't you?" Ghost deadpanned.

"He'll live… and that's all that really mattered after all…" The old man sighed almost innocently.

"And people say Crypt is twisted." Ghost sighed. "Still… you're getting better. There were still bodies that looked like bodies at the academy, and you even left that one guy alive before leaving. Plus you didn't barge into the Hyūga compound in a bloody wrath…"

"Only because you stopped me…" The once infamous Red Flood grunted.

"Hey, all I did was promise to butcher some of the guys there in your stead, and few things define the butchering of others better than War Scars… not including you going nuts..." Ghost shrugged. "Normally stopping you from going on a rampage involves destroying a mountain or 50."

"Considering your legs are paralyzed from exiting your personal training session without doing the required cool down routines, I highly doubt you would have lasted long enough against me to calm me down…" Waltz replied, noting that the only thing keeping his family member up right now were the laws of physics and efficient posturing.

"I rushed out because you were in the middle of a hissy fit, I deserve a bit more credit here." Pouted the blind man before he drank some more of his tea. "So Ino's gonna hold the brat a birthday party at our place…"

"A decision influenced by Danzō's Yamanaka spy?" Waltz asked. The Ōgakari long since predicted that Fū Yamanaka would be used to try and delve into Ino's mind and try to get information about them the moment the girl returned home after the Chūnin Exams.

"Maybe. It's not like we were going to say no in the first place." Ghost shrugged. "All we really have to do is keep the basement and our rooms locked and we won't have to worry about anything big getting out. Ino's in no real danger since Danzō's grasping at straws and we're letting Ino give them to him. We take away that resource and he might get desperate and do something stupid. We don't want Danzō to do anything stupid just yet." He groaned. "Man! Can you hurry up and finish that paper so you can heal my legs already? Crypt could be gnawing on them for all I know and I wouldn't be able to tell!"

No sooner than he said that then the two suddenly heard the sound of a creature chewing on something hard. Waltz and Ghost paused, looked at each other, and then down in the direction of the source to see Crypt chewing on a wooden crutch like a dog.

"I hope someone wasn't using that…" Ghost said blankly.

"No. We've gotten to the point where we're labeling the crutches in use and leaving out the previously broken ones for him to chew on." Waltz sighed. "It only took a week's worth of training before he finally got it right and he stopped going for the ones in use… and office table legs… and prosthetics…"

"I know I shouldn't be asking this…" Ghost mused as the wooden medical appliance gave a healthy snap. "But I've always wondered… how the hell do dogs and Crypt eat these things without getting splinters?"

o. o. o.

Suna:

"How can you stand this place?" Shikamaru grumbled as he walked with Temari through Suna. "It's too hot and bright during the day to go cloud watching or take a nap, and it's too dark and cold during the night…"

"I'm sorry. I'll get right on changing the location of my home village so it suits your desires…" Temari rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's times like this that I remember that you're actually a kid and not an old man."

"Eh. I'm just ahead of my time…" Yawned the Nara before he momentarily shivered. For some reason he's had this odd tingling sensation crawling up his spine for the past few hours… "Still, how can you guys get anything done when it's so damn bright out during the day?"

The blonde sighed. "You just get used to it after a while… it comes with living here all your life."

"Yeah, yeah…" Sighed Shikamaru as he looked around Suna. He had been in the village for a while helping out with some minor paperwork, but this was the first day he had off to see the village in detail. It was… rather bland in his personal opinion. Other than the very frantic marketplace, some mildly interesting looking buildings and rock formations, there wasn't really much to look at other than sand. "All I know is that this mission of mine is troublesome…"

"You'd claim getting your clothes on would be troublesome if you didn't already do it without thinking…" Droned a new voice from behind the pair, causing Temari to jump in surprise.

"Gaara! What the heck are you doing following us?" Temari shouted in shock, but in the process scaring the shit out of the villagers in hearing range since they still were scared of the jinchūriki.

"I heard that Nara had the day off and thought it would be interesting to talk to him for a while…" Droned the redhead. "However, I am in no rush and do not wish to interrupt anything…"

Temari rolled her eyes. "You really need to work on how you word your sentences, Gaara." She pointed to Shikamaru. "You make it sound like I have a crush on this brat or something. I'm just showing him around because he helped us out in Konoha."

"I second that statement." Yawned Shikamaru. "Plus, it's not like anything is happening in general anyways…" He paused for a moment as his stomach growled. "I could go for some food though…"

"I know of a place…" Gaara started before Temari put her foot down and interrupted him, much to the shock of the people listening into the conversation.

"No Gaara. Not gizzard. Not tongues. Not organs. Not again. Not with guests. No." The blonde grunted irritably. "I understand that you like eating them, but we don't."

"Troublesome…" Sighed the shadow user as he noted the stares they were all getting. "Let's just go to a barbecue. They have a good range of stuff to eat there."

"Fine." Temari relented. "You have a point. There's a good restaurant right across the street from us anyway…"

"That's… convenient…" Gaara mused as he looked at Shikamaru skeptically. "You chose barbecue because you saw the restaurant was less than 20 meters away didn't you?"

The Nara smirked. "And if I did?"

"…Touché…" The jinchūriki relented emotionlessly, getting more civilians to stare at the group in surprise.

"Oi Konoha kid!" Shouted a random chūnin from down the road who seemed to hold a grudge against Gaara. "You might want to be a bit careful when hanging around that short brat. He's not exactly normal!"

Gaara glanced at the man emotionlessly before following his irritated sister into the building.

Shikamaru let out a huge yawn and followed the redhead. "I know. I fought him in the Chūnin Exam finals and he almost killed me… but it's too annoying to keep on obsessing over the past." He replied casually as he walked in the building, leaving all the people who heard him in shock.

"He fought Gaara and lived?" Whispered a couple of civilians curiously.

"Wait, didn't Gaara only fight one person in the Konoha Chūnin Exam finals before the invasion started?" Mumbled another chūnin who was in another part of Konoha during the invasion.

"You mean the Black Deer of Konoha?" Mused a genin teenage girl. "The kid that supposedly used shadows like Gaara could use sand? That was him? No way! He's still just a brat!"

"So is Gaara, though…" Countered the chūnin warily…

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Temari grunted as Shikamaru walked into the building. "I thought you tried to go out of your way to make things less troublesome for yourself."

"I do." Yawned the bored teen. "Now a good portion of the guys here will simply stay back unless I ask them something instead of try and pick a 'whose village is stronger' fight with me. Also, it gets rid of a lot of those troublesome guys who do nothing but glare at Gaara the entire time…"

"Table for three please…" Gaara droned to the receptionist, who nodded nervously before rushing to get the table set up. "I do not recall asking for your help on the matter…" He commented.

"Other than our fight back in Konoha, I find you one of the least troublesome people I know, meaning I don't mind hanging out with you. The stares, though, I could do without. They're annoying…" Replied Shikamaru as they sat down at a table. Shikamaru and Temari on one side, Gaara on the other.

"I believe I have more of a right to complain about them than you do…" Gaara droned as he looked at the menu. "No gizzard or salted tongue… however, they do have liver…"

Shikamaru snorted. "You should hang out with Chōji if you want to talk about odd eating habits. I have yet to come across a food that he's willingly turned down before… well, other than pet food, but that was on a dare from Kiba."

"That weird dog kid that hit on all the girls in the exam at least once?" Temari mused curiously. "What happened to him? If I remember correctly, he was the only one in your group that didn't make it to the finals."

"He's in a new team with Ino and this pale kid named Sai." Shikamaru replied, not even responding to the curious look that Gaara gave him. "How they work together is beyond me sometimes. Two of them are annoying loudmouths and the third just puts on these fake smiles and speaks with no tact whatsoever." He blinked and looked over the menu again. "Speaking of fake humans, how's that puppeteer of a brother of yours doing?"

"Kankurō is training under Chiyo-baa-sama." Temari replied. "She's a legend here and one of the best puppet masters Suna's ever produced. Some say that her skill was only rivaled by her grandson, Sasori of the Red Sands, and the original puppet master, Monzaemon Chikamatsu…"

"I would be more surprised if I knew who those two were. Sorry." Yawned the Nara, playing off the information like it was nothing. "But from the way you talk about her, it sounds like she's really old, if her grandson is supposed to be some legend. 10 ryō says she's insane."

Several customers who were shinobi coughed heavily at that statement, and many of the others sent the boy dirty looks. "Shikamaru…" Temari whispered. "She's a highly respected member of Suna's shinobi community. It would be best if you didn't say things like that…"

"Troublesome…" Sighed Shikamaru. "Look. I have yet to meet or hear of a shinobi who is THAT old, alive, and that strong without having some kind of mental tic. Jiraiya of the Sannin is a self-proclaimed super pervert, along with the current Tsuchikage and I'm suspecting the Third Hokage. Tsunade of the Sannin is a heavy drinker and gambler. Several of the elders of Konoha are simply stuck up crones that refuse to adapt to anything, and the elder Ōgakari has been known to deal near lethal injuries to his own family literally on instinct. If I ever get to be that strong, I will pray for someone to kill me before I turn 55."

There was silence in the room as everyone pondered what Shikamaru had just said.

"…She is a peculiar and short old woman who pretends to die frequently for a quick laugh." Gaara stated clearly before drinking some water, causing everyone to face fault.

"Case and point." The Nara smirked before shivering again. The tingling sensation was getting more distinct.

"Oi, are you okay? You've been shivering a lot for a bum complaining about the desert heat." Temari asked in an almost concerned tone. "You might have actually gotten sick."

"Yeah, my constant moaning about the heat has finally caused karma to take action." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "I'm not sick. I just have this feeling that something troublesome is going to happen soon…"

"Your sensory skills need work. That troublesome thing happened roughly 5 days ago." Sighed Scabbard from his seat next to Gaara, reading the menu.

Temari appropriately screamed.

"Damn it, woman, I'm right next to you…" Grunted Shikamaru as he picked at his ears and ignored the fact that Gaara had grabbed the man by his sand and hoisted him into the air by instinct.

"Nice to see you guys too…" The immortal deadpanned, ignoring all the scared looks everyone in the restaurant was giving him. "Do you mind putting me down? I wasn't done looking at the menu."

Gaara sighed as he put down the man and retracted his sand. "Must every member of your clan possess the urge to warp normal situations into uncomfortable ones?"

"Most likely. I haven't bothered to look up on that…" The immortal mused as he picked up the menu again. "Hm. This place has an exceptional range of meals considering its location…"

"Th-th-the hell?" Temari hissed still a bit freaked out by the new guest. "What the hell is an Ōgakari doing here?"

"Ordering food. This is a restaurant after all…" Deadpanned the lightning user while ignoring the curious looks that the people were giving the group.

"Oi Scab-sensei. What do you mean that my senses were 5 days off?" Shikamaru grunted warily.

"Hm? Oh, there was a mass breakout from the prison. There were some bumps along the way, but it's been taken care of. Damages and casualties were kept to a minimum. Nothing to worry about." Commented Scabbard as he turned the page. "An interesting list of desserts, too… I may have to come here again the next time I am here…"

"I assume that my order has been finished…" Gaara mused. "Impressive. It has only been a month at the most since I sent out the letter…"

"Three and a half weeks." The man corrected. "I actually finished it almost two weeks ago, but I had prior engagements that needed to be addressed first." He turned to one of the shocked waiters. "Excuse me. I think we are ready to order now…"

Two hours later, in one of Suna's private training grounds:

"Well, at least we got a place in the shade…" Grumbled Shikamaru as the group stood in a field that was next to and overshadowed by Suna's large walls. "Now can you please tell us why the hell you're here and why you dragged us along?"

"You didn't tell them…?" Scabbard stated to Gaara as he began to examine Temari's body, including arms, legs, height and so one.

"There was no need to…" Gaara replied.

"Tell us what? I'm starting to get a bit pissed off here not knowing what the hell is going on!" Temari growled.

"In a few minutes. Tell me, how adept are you at using the bō staff? Or a spear, for that matter." Replied the Ōgakari.

"A bō staff?" Temari asked. "Well, I kinda dabbled in it a few years ago, but to be honest, my fan is too thick and heavy to use those techniques, so I didn't really go that far in that training…"

"Are there any experienced masters of that weapon in Suna?" The immortal continued, tapping on several parts on the girl's arm.

"There are a couple jōnin that are experienced, but none that are on the level of a Kage or elite jōnin." Gaara mused. "We don't talk to them much, but we are aware of one another."

"Good. It will make things easier for both of us." Scabbard nodded. "You definitely have the appropriate build, just not enough training…" He stepped back from the confused girl, pleased with what he saw. "Good. My estimations were correct."

"Care to explain what you two are talking about?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.

Gaara closed his eyes. "Consider it a combination of an apology and 12 years' worth of late birthday gifts combined…"

As if on cue, a 6 foot long, pitch black staff slid out of Scabbard's sleeve and was caught by the end. "Ta-dah." The elder genius almost smirked. "A custom Ōgakari weapon, made specifically for you."

Temari's eyes widened considerably as she eyed the pole. She had heard many things about the weapons and tools the man had made, but… "It's… a stick…" She said bluntly. "A very… shiny stick."

The three males raised their eyebrows at the girl's statement before looking at each other, almost amused. "I think a demonstration is in order…" Gaara suggested.

"Ah… okay…" The immortal deadpanned as he slowly put some distance between himself and the others. "To give you fair warning, however… I'm not a wind element, so I can only show you so much…"

With that said, the man instantly blurred into various complex motions with the pole, spinning and twirling it around his body so swiftly and naturally that it soon became apparent that the man was extremely skilled with this sort of weapon.

"The entire body of the staff is constructed out of chakra-fed trees from the Senju compound of Konoha." The man explained as he made several rapid thrusting motions while the tip of the pole began to glow and make snapping noises. "You can easily turn it into a spear regardless of your chakra nature if you train a little in shape manipulation." He then swung the pole from one end in wide sweeping motions. "It's also reinforced with not only with horn from the deer of the Nara clan, but various metals and compounds that I have made myself as well. Overall, it's stronger than almost every metal or stone on the market, and when combined with the Senju wood, it can actually repair itself to some degree if you feed it a constant supply of chakra."

"However… the real selling point is…" He grabbed one end of the pole with two hands and swung it like a baseball bat… just after the other end snapped open almost instantly to reveal a large and beautiful wide spread cloth decorated with both illustrations and seals going both down and across the massive arcing spread. Each segment of the fan had a small portion of the staff supporting its frame, resulting in its new form not at all resembling what it looked like a moment before. The craftsman swung the fan while pushing his chakra into the fabric, resulting in a massive gale of wind being produced that roared toward the village wall and collided with it in a massive explosion that had all the watchers shield themselves from the flying sand and dust.

"Honestly…" Shikamaru grunted as the dust settled. "Can't they for once do things half assed for once? It would make things so much quieter…"

"The cloth is actually silk spun by a special breed of insects inside the Aburame clan and purified by a select section of the Hyūga clan so that its chakra channeling capabilities are maximized. You can open and close the fan simply by using your chakra, saving time in a fast paced battle." Continued the man as the fan snapped shut again without any movement from its maker, returning it to its pole like state without giving any sign that it was a fan in the first place. "The various seals and scriptures on the cloth are chakra amplifying and wind conversion seals, so even a non-wind user can use it, though only wind users can actually get the maximum effect… which I have yet to fully test, to be honest."

Gaara glanced at the section of the wall that was hit and noted that a very sizeable portion of it had been gouged out, leaving a large cave in the town's defenses roughly half the depth of the wall itself. He decided that he would fix that as soon as everything was done here.

Scabbard walked forward to the group again and handed the pole to Temari. "Its name is Ramidreju." He smirked. "Congratulations, you're the first in the Elemental Nations to get one of my custom made weapons."

Temari gaped as she slowly took the staff out of the man's hands. It was incredibly well balanced and she could tell that it would not take her long to get used to it. It was certainly made for her in particular. "This… this weapon… is unreal…" She whispered. "With this… I could easily catch up with everyone and become a legendary shinobi…"

Shikamaru smirked as he patted the girl on the back. "It's troublesome… but welcome to the club of unpredictable shinobi…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"I'm done!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs as he ran out of the office building where he had just handed in his last report on the preparation for the Kyūbi festival which was later that night. "Oh log, thank thee. I am DONE!"

"Over-reacting much?" Sasuke deadpanned as he watched his teammate cry on the ground in pure joy.

"Not at all…" The blonde wept. "I've been working my ass off, clones and all, for the past three days on this damn festival! I was in charge of a good third of the main road's preparation!"

"That doesn't seem that bad." The Uchiha mused. "Normally our D-ranks would be worse than that…"

"I had to write up reports for each separate stall and building I worked on..." Continued the jinchūriki as he crawled into a ball. "Full. Mission. Reports. On. Everything."

Sasuke paused. "I stand corrected… thank god I can only make 10 clones at the most for intensive labor…" He sighed. "At least it's done with and you got paid…"

"Never again…" The blonde whimpered. "I'd rather have another Wave mission…"

"That's not saying much." The Uchiha grunted as he walked forward and picked up his friend. "It went to hell, but the worst injury you got was a scratch that didn't even last more than 10 seconds and you got a bridge named after you."

"Exactly…" Mumbled Naruto with comical tears falling down his face.

"I… but…tch…" Stammered the Uchiha before he gave up on the argument and started to walk down the road. "Come on. Let's get some lunch before the mourning ceremonies begin and everything closes."

"Ah…" The blonde became more somber. "Right… um… you mind if we be a bit stealthy about it? People tend to act out a bit more to me during today considering…"

"Hm? Oh, that… yeah, sure." Sasuke replied, almost as if he had forgotten about Naruto's condition. Almost instantly, the two were jumping over the roofs of Konoha towards Ichiraku's. "So how are those special jōnin requirements coming?" He asked the blonde curiously. "I heard the academy is canceled for a while."

Naruto shrugged. "Eh. The old hag is on the fence with that. She's halfway inclined to just give me that requirement now since apparently my awesomeness has rubbed off on the kids and they're waaaay farther ahead in the curriculum than they're supposed to be. I've worked on a bunch of the guard duty and wall duty rounds since I started teaching, so I'm guessing I'm almost done on that requirement. The Kyūbi festival is adding to my public events… I don't think the next one is until Christmas… that reminds me, I gotta get Hinata-chan a good present…"

"Hn. Why don't you just openly admit that you are dating her?" Sasuke smirked, amused by Naruto's hesitation to actually say it. He and Sakura had figured out that the blonde and the Hyūga were more than just good friends for a while, and they suspected that other members in their circle of friends had as well.

Naruto sighed and frowned. "I'm not for most likely the same reasons why you aren't doing the same with Sakura… we don't want to paint a target on the back of their heads We can't risk something like that yet…"

The Uchiha momentarily looked shocked before frowning and mentally berating himself. "Tch." He grunted, admitting that the blonde was right. After talking to the Third Hokage, Sasuke realized that this mystery man was the cause of all his and Itachi's problems, and if he was dangerous enough to trick his clan into self-destructing and made his brother wary, who knows how bad he could be one-on-one. Until he was not only confident enough in his own abilities but in Sakura's as well, he couldn't risk giving his opponent a major reason to go for his pink haired teammate… and dating her in public was a very good reason use her to get at him.

"Bah! Let's just get some food already!" Grumbled Naruto as they landed in front of Ichiraku's. "Everything will be better once we bloat ourselves with delicious ramen."

"1. I'm not paying. 2. I don't have an overactive digestive system so I can't bloat myself with ramen and expect all that crap inside me to go away the next day." The Uchiha stated, remembering how much money he'd lost the last time he tried both on a dare. The ramen was good… just not that good.

"Silly imaginary things like mere details and facts will not stop me from getting that which I desire!" Claimed the blonde in a fake royal voice, indicating he was back into his partially insane persona. "Come, chicken butt! The noodles beckon us!"

"Oi!" Hissed the Uchiha. "Shut it on the hair bit! Remember what your bastard of a teacher told us about talking about it and his brother…"

"Ah…" Paled the blonde, remembering what his friend was talking about. "Sorry." He shook himself to get rid of the shivers he just got before he slammed face first into the door of the stand. "What the?" He muttered confused. "Ichiraku's is never closed for the day before the mourning." He banged on the door. "Oi, old man! What gives! I demand the food of life!"

"Give it up, dobe." Sasuke sighed as he grabbed the back of the boy's sweater and dragged him away. "They aren't there. Let's just go to that Korean barbecue place for lunch. They should still be open…"

"Raaammmeeeennnn… why have you abandoned me?" The blonde wept as Sasuke shunshined them away in a cloud of smoke.

"Hey… wasn't that?" Whispered a civilian to another.

"Yeah." Nodded another.

"He's been helping out a lot lately around the town…" Mused a random chūnin. "I wonder what he does during the festival."

"No clue." Muttered a teammate. "Actually, doesn't he normally disappear during this time of the year?"

"Come to think of it…"

o. o. o.

Two hours later:

"Hmmm." Naruto grunted absently as he walked out of the bar with Sasuke. "It wasn't as good as the Naruto special that the old man makes me, but the beef wasn't that bad…"

"You could have at least eaten more of the vegetables, dobe…" Growled Sasuke who was trailing behind the blonde. "I barely had room for the meat 'cause I had to eat your share."

"Bah! I'm allowed to be selfish every once in a while." Naruto countered childishly. "Besides, you didn't have to eat them either if you didn't want to…"

"And risk Chōji finding out? I have better things to do than listen to an Akimichi's version of not wasting food, thank you." The Uchiha grunted as he looked at the sky. "The memorial service is about to start… we should get going…"

"Yeah… but…" The blonde paused as he went over what the source of the day's events were for… "Teme… I want to show you something…" The boy stated in an almost tired tone.

Sasuke paused. One look at Naruto told him that whatever the blonde was thinking was important… or at least to him anyways. "If you start making gay jokes again I'm gone." He stated bluntly. "Where to?"

Naruto froze and crossed his arms in thought. "Hmmm… no clue…" Sasuke facefaulted. "It has to be somewhere private, though… and by private, I mean a place where no one can stumble on us and use the event for blackmail later…"

The Uchiha backed up. "Are you sure you're okay? Someone can easily misinterpret what you're saying right now as something gay... normally, it's you doing the interpreting…"

"And you would know because?" The blonde grinned evilly, making the Uchiha frown again.

"Because I spend way too much time with you and that idiot Kakashi." He grunted as he began to walk in a seemingly random direction. "Come on. I know of a spot where no one is gonna bug us. This better be good, dobe…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"I still can't believe your village celebrates this shit, Saru…" Grunted Rōshi as he sat with Sarutobi and Fū near where Tsunade was giving her speech about the will of fire and the Kyūbi's attack. "I mean, yeah that will of fire stuff of yours is nice and all, but why do it on a day when that monster of a shinobi Minato died?"

"It's not only to remember Minato's sacrifice, nor is it to remember the sacrifices of everyone that died during that event, but to remember the sacrifices of everyone who died for our village in general, Rōshi." The God of Shinobi sighed as he smoked from his pipe slowly. "I chose this day because we did not lose precious ones to an enemy shinobi nation or some organization, but to a chaotic beast that held no affiliation to anyone. We fought that day not for honor, glory, or to destroy our enemies, but to protect our homes. And we paid dearly for it. That is why I decided that the memorial be held on this day…"

Fū sighed as she saw several dozen people in front of her wear mourning clothes and bow their heads in prayer and mourning. She saw a few monks of the famed Fire Temple leading the prayers next to Tsunade. God, did she feel out of place. "It's a bit sappy for my tastes… but at least it's more logical and easier to stomach than some of the crap back home…"

"Careful, brat…" Rōshi growled, startling the girl, who didn't expect her fellow jinchūriki to take this so seriously. "I'll admit that I share the same view of this as you do, but I also know that a lot of strong shinobi died for this. I'm not much in favor for Iwa's mindset of things, and I was never that much of a fan of Konoha, but as a veteran, you develop a strong respect for strong people, regardless of where they're from and who they were. You don't step on the graves of people like that just on a whim. They've earned that much."

Sarutobi nodded. "Rōshi is correct, Fū. You could say that there is always a bond established between strong warriors that meet on the battlefield. Even if they don't necessarily respect each other or what they believe in, their hard earned strength is always remembered by their opponents…"

Fū pouted and looked away. "Well, sorry for not fighting in any major wars. The only strong people I've encountered either deny my existence or were the ones that took me out in the first place…"

The Hokage sighed and patted the teen on the back. "That's quite all right. The feeling us old timers are experiencing only comes after multiple trials and life altering events…"

"Like hell it's all right." Rōshi interrupted as he pointed to the surprised girl. "Both of us are bloody legends, and you have the nerve to not even consider us as strong people you know? That's just insulting! All that shit we had to put up with when we were younger, the least brats her age could do is congratulate us on getting out of that hell alive…"

"But in the end, we didn't…" The green haired girl sighed. "Not one of us did…"

Sarutobi sighed. "That time, yes, but since I'm still here and talking to both of you, there's a good chance that both of you can pull through as well this time…" He sighed… "Given we can get through this god awful speech without falling asleep and getting caught by Tsunade…" The aged man paused as he saw the surprised look coming from his allies. "What? I'm a firm believer in the will of fire, but I've done enough public events for two lifetimes, thank you very much. I'm old. I've done this thing countless times already. I deserve my break from this shit already…"

Fū and Rōshi looked at each other worriedly. "You think he's been suppressing his feelings for a bit too long?" Fū whispered nervously.

"I'm more worried about when he finally lets go of his mental restraints…" Rōshi whimpered. "Saru was always a good laugh when he was drunk, but there was more than one reason why Ōnoki and I were glad that he was from a different village. The man can do nearly as much damage as a natural angry drunken fist master when he's had enough booze in him and remember jack in the aftermath. If he completely lets himself go, I think we'll all be in trouble…"

o. o. o.

Uchiha Compound:

"So what the hell was so important that we needed to talk in private?" Sasuke asked as he saw Naruto rummaging through one of his pockets. "If it's another prank, I'm gonna torch you. Potential arson or not."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't do pranks on my birthday." Sighed the Uzumaki as he took out a scroll and unrolled it. "This, on the other hand, I think you might be interested in." He started to make some seals and channeled his chakra into the second seal matrix on the scroll. Within seconds, a human-sized puppet appeared, fully clothed in ANBU gear and wearing a black mask with a broken glass design in white with long colorless cords streaming from the head.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Okay. You have my interest now. I remember that mask from the invasion, but the design is different." He turned to the blonde, who was going through a long string of seals.

"Teme… I know this is gonna sound crazy, but…" The blonde started before finishing the last seal and slamming his hand on the puppet, making it explode in a cloud of smoke. "… I want you to meet my mom…"

"Your… what?" The Uchiha stammered as the cloud disappeared to reveal not a puppet, but a woman with long red hair scratching her head curiously.

"Ugh… Naruto?" Kushina asked as she took off her mask. "Why did you take me out? Minato-kun and I were having such a good time resting with each other and… who's this?" She cocked her head to the side curiously scanning the boy. "His hair looks like a chicken butt."

"Mom, Teme. Teme, Mom." The blonde grinned as he did introductions.

"Teme?" Kushina repeated anxiously. "You mean your friend, Sasuke Uchiha? Mikoto's boy?"

Sasuke's eyes widened even more. "You… you knew my mother?" He asked hesitantly. He had encountered people in the village who knew of his mother before, but apparently his mother's social life did not reach far outside of the clan.

Kushina responded by letting out a high pitched squeal and hugging the boy tightly. "Oh my goodness! The last time I saw you, you were only a few months old and so adorable! Though not as cute as my Naruto-chan, but you were still so cute!"

"Mooom! Not in front of him!" The blonde groaned.

"And look at you now! 13 and already a Chūnin." Kushina smiled, having no intention of stopping. "With a fully developed Sharingan as well. From what I remember Mikoto telling me about your clan, that gives you one of the best records in your family history! She would be so proud of you…" The red head paused as she took a better look at the boy and sniffed. "Ugh… though I think she would have a fit if you walked around smelling like that every day… and I think she would have more than a few things to say about your choice of hair style…"

Naruto was now laughing as Sasuke blushed for the first time for someone other than Sakura. "Go mom! Keep it up!"

"How…" Sasuke grunted as he tried to free his head from Kushina's strong grip. "How long have you been like this? I thought dobe didn't know who his mom was…"

"Only a couple of months, Sasuke." Sighed the woman. "Before then, my chakra was the main source of power for Naruto's seal and no one knew any better other than Minato-kun and that really weird family you guys hang out with. They were the ones that could make this…" She pointed to herself. "Happen… though I wish the crazy one didn't feel the need to give us a massive panic attack right after I came out…"

Sasuke snorted as he showed Kushina his modified Cursed Seal. "That's still better than what I had to go through. That bastard Crypt had to bite me in the same spot as Orochimaru did in order to fix this annoying seal the snake gave me. I feel unclean as hell every time I remember those moments…"

"But deep down, you know you secretly looooove getting hickies from strange older men…" Naruto grinned childishly before several kunai flew past his head. "I take nothing back, for I am speaking nothing but the truuuuth!" The boy claimed as he hid behind a pillar.

"Even if I didn't get the Mangekyō from killing you, I would still do it if only to get some peace in my life…" The Uchiha growled with several more shuriken in hand before Kushina pounded him on top of his head.

"Oi! You two may be teammates and act like this when you're alone, but when I'm around, you will play nice. GOT IT?!" The woman asked while putting a devilish look on her face and her hair began to arc up into 9 segments.

"Yes ma'am." The two boys replied in unison, both instinctively afraid of the woman.

Sasuke froze in shock at how his body reacted. 'How the hell did she do that?'

"Good." The elder Uzumaki nodded as if she knew better. "Mikoto would have had a fit if she saw her son kill his best friend for something as stupid as petty revenge…" She pretended to not notice the boy flinch at that comment. "It's a good thing you didn't take after your father, though. He was a strong man, but I swear that the stick up his ass was so big that sometimes you'd think he had 3 legs…"

Sasuke covered his face with his hands. "Well… at least I know without a doubt that she's your mom, dobe…" He stopped for a moment and looked at Kushina curiously. "Hold on… why the heck was your chakra in his seal in the first place? Wouldn't it be powered by the Shinigami's or the Fourth Hokage's?"

Naruto and Kushina exchanged looks for a moment before a nod from the blonde prompted them to look at Sasuke again. "Sasuke…" Kushina started slowly, acting more serious than she had before. "Naruto's told me about what happened to your family and your brother and everything else you told him in private about the one eyed man…" She sighed. "It's time you learned what really happened the night the Kyūbi attacked 13 years ago…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"Come! We have a party to make!" Ino roared as she, Kiba, Chōji, Haku, Sai, Kin and Lee followed her with their arms filled with party favors and snacks.

"I don't think she's fully recovered from snapping in the exams…" Kiba whispered to Chōji nervously.

"Are you sure it's okay to leave Hinata to do the cooking?" Haku asked worriedly. "I heard she suffered from a case of chakra exhaustion a few days ago…"

"That?" Kiba asked. "Oh, Hinata just felt guilty about Naruto saving her family and getting himself blown up in the process, so she healed the idiot for almost 2 hours without him noticing while the rest of her family thanked him for saving them. She really is head over heels for the guy…" He shifted the bags he was holding a little. "Besides it's not like she's alone. The Ichiraku's, Neji, Tenten, and Shino are with her too…"

"That's cute… but if she isn't careful, she's gonna get killed one day because of it." Kin sighed. "Honestly, she did that to herself just because she felt guilty?"

Ino snorted. "Oh, that's nothing. Back in the academy, she used to actually stalk and follow him until our last year. That was before he became an insane psycho and was simply the biggest idiot in the village."

"Ino, if I remember correctly, you were doing the same thing to Sasuke… along with pretty much every other girl in our class." Kiba deadpanned.

"Kiba. You do realize I will kill you if you drop those bags, right? So why are you tempting me to throw some of my kunai at you?" Ino asked sweetly, causing the rest of the group to sweat nervously.

"Because I'm a lowly dog that can't keep my mouth shut, apparently…" The Inuzuka wept.

"Oh… okay. I was just wondering." The blonde replied, seemingly normal again. "That makes things make so much more sense now…"

"Bitch be whipped…" Kin sniggered to Sai.

"It would be best not to say that to him…" Sai responded in a lecturing tone. "I found out recently that it is ill advised to call anyone from Kiba-san's clan that word…"

"That's an understatement if I've ever heard one." Ino rolled her eyes. "Hana-sensei and Kiba nearly tore you to shreds before their partners bit you all over your body. Honestly, where the hell did you grow up, under a rock? Everyone in the village knows that, Sai. Kin is excused 'cause she moved in recently, but you should know that."

Sai in response gave an apologetic smile. "You could say I've had a sheltered life. Interacting with others outside of a work environment was not very high on the priority list when I was brought up…"

"I see! You still have your flames of youth, only they have yet to be exposed to the glory of everyone else's!" Lee stated energetically.

"Naruto-san seems to enjoy my current behavior just the way it is…" Sai commented curiously. "A few days ago, he took me through town and asked me what nicknames I would give random people walking by us. He seemed rather amused by my observations…"

"Knowing what you normally call people… I'm not surprised…" Deadpanned Chōji. "… Speaking of Naruto, how much longer do we have left until Sasuke brings him over for the party?"

"About another hour." Haku replied. "That should give us enough time to get everything ready. Zabuza-sama and Shadow-san are out on missions, and the rest of the Ōgakari will be out for most of tonight so we can have the house to ourselves. Apparently they're running their own stall at the festival to earn some extra money. As long as we keep out of the basement and their rooms, we can do pretty much anything we want there."

"Oh man, for adults these guys are completely kick ass!" Kiba grinned. "We're gonna raid their booze so much…" He paused for a moment. "Except for you, Lee. You are the party's designated maintainer of our flames of youth, so you're not allowed any alcohol."

"You are correct!" Lee said with burning eyes. "I have taken on the selfless duty of ensuring that the party's flames of youth do not dwindle until an appropriate time!"

The rest of the group looked at each other warily. Other than having a good time, they were determined to keep Lee away from booze at all costs.

"Ahh…" Ino groaned. "I wish Shika or forehead were here at least. The party won't nearly be as fun without those two buzz kills around to bug with all the crap that is going to end up flying everywhere…"

"Do you think we should tell Shikamaru about Naruto's… well… you know…" Kiba started off skeptically.

"Odds are he already knows." Chōji sighed. "Everyone knows he's smart, but I've seen him when he really focuses on things, it's like he gets 5 years older in an instant. He hangs out sometimes with Naruto too, and I've seen them share looks that make it seem like they're hiding something." He grunted as he shifted his bags. "He probably figured it out a long time ago, but doesn't really care much. If it's not enough to bother Shikamaru, it's not enough to bother me."

'Danzō-sama might want to know of that…' Sai mused as they approached the Ōgakari home.

"Oi, boring people! We're back!" Kiba roared as Haku opened the front door.

"The boring people have knives in their hands!" Tenten's voice shouted from the kitchen. "Don't convince us to be not-boring!"

Chōji placed a hand on Kiba's shoulder and stared at the boy with wide traumatized eyes. "Kiba, please don't anger Tenten. I don't like sharp things being thrown at me." He asked in a haunted voice.

"S-sure Chōji…" Kiba laughed nervously. 'Why the hell is everyone going psycho on me today?'

"The food smells great!" Ino squealed as she ran to where Hinata and the rest of her group were working. "Are you guys sure that you made enough for everyone that's coming?"

Ayame smiled as she stirred some ramen. "Yeah! The kitchen here is big enough for us to all work in with room to spare, and they have more than enough stuff to cook in." She pointed to a small pile of cook books. "We've even tried out some of the recipes in them. The funny thing is that Ghost-san has apparently written notes about pretty much all of them next to the list of things to do. A lot of them are really ingenious!" A timer went off, prompting the girl to move to the nearby oven. "I'm hoping he'll let dad and I take some for our restaurant when he comes by later…"

"I don't blame you…" Chōji drooled as he walked into the kitchen. "My nose is in heaven…"

"Hinata's been working the hardest." Chuckled Teuchi as he watched the girl prepare a large plate of ribs and place them into another oven before decorating a cake. "The girl really is head over heels for the boy… and from what I've seen, he's almost the same way…" He paused as he started to mix up some sort of sauce. "Funny thing is, I think they both know it, but they aren't willing to date yet… at least admit it to everyone else yet. Almost like they're afraid of something…" He laughed. "Ah, kids and their young love…"

Ino and the other shinobi who were listening had different thoughts. 'Naruto… actually afraid?'

Sai wasn't listening as he was briefly checking the door to the basement. 'Locked… and my mice can't get in… it seems that the Ōgakari prepared for such a possibility… I guess I will just try to find out something else while I am here…'

"Man…" Ayame sighed, completely oblivious to the rest of the shinobi as she watched Tenten chop up some meat for the ramen with incredible speed and skill, giving the ramen chef the impression that the weapons mistress had once performed on Iron Chef. "I thought you said you were only okay at cooking. You're going through the fresh produce faster than I can prepare everything else!"

"Ah…" Tenten blushed. "It's nothing really. I'm just really good with knives…" The girl didn't have the heart or the nerve to tell the others that she had actually copied one of Ghost's kitchen knives and mimicked the memories of the blade for her current culinary tasks. She had practiced enough that she could recreate low level blades without reciting the first line of the poem. She could only imagine how fast and efficiently the owner could actually do this if what she was emulating was a mere fraction of his skill.

"30 minutes…" Shino warned as he put another bowl of snacks down on a table in the back yard of the home. "I am curious. How much of the Ōgakari's entertainment system can we access… and how much of it do we know how to use?"

"Ah…" Haku blushed and scratched the back of her head. "Well, they taught me how to use the music system, but they didn't want us to play around with their television much. Something about Scabbard-san and annoying controls, so I doubt we would be able to get it work."

"It would be best if we didn't touch it…" Neji warned. "I have heard that Scabbard-san frequently booby-traps things he does not want others to use. His room's door handle, for example, is charged with a significant amount of electrical chakra that is frequently changing frequencies."

"Well, that makes things easier for me…" Kiba stated as he immediately turned around away from the television that he was just about to screw around with.

"You know, it was really nice for those Ōgakari guys to lend us their home for the party…" Teuchi mused. "But does anyone really know what they are doing at the carnival?"

The ninja in the room paused for a moment before all shivering.

"Only the Ōgakari know what goes on in their minds… and even then that's only occasionally…" Neji shivered.

o. o. o.

At the Festival:

"Come one, come all! We have some of the best foreign cuisine in the festival!" A clone of Ghost's shouted as the original, several more clones, and Waltz prepared various western dishes for the people there. Standing to either side were Hana and Anko dressed in yukata, attempting to draw in more customers. "While you are enjoying one of our pizza slices or cheese steak sandwiches, please feel free to donate money to help shinobi with crippling disabilities and their families, as well as war orphans! The more money we get, the farther up we will launch my insane brother Crypt into the sky with this absolutely fabulous customized firework!"

"Why the hell are we doing this again?" Anko asked with a fake smile on her face.

"Because his other plans involved us in less clothing and no fun time later tonight…" Hana replied also with a fake smile on her face.

Those listening to the clone looked in the direction the clone was pointing to, to see Crypt tied up to a massive cylinder with wings, giggling mindlessly. "I've got a big bag of crabs heeeeerrreee…"

"Don't worry, folks. Crypt here is a highly trained and very experienced idiot." The clone assured the now very shocked crowd. "Believe me when I say this, doing this will have absolutely no negative effects on him whatsoever…"

o. o. o.

Near the Ōgakari Compound:

"Well… when I woke up today, I certainly didn't expect to talk to my friend's dead mom and hear the story of how she died and that it's related to my brother killing my family…" Sasuke sighed as he walked with Naruto to the Ōgakari's place.

"Yeah… I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" The blonde sighed in an airy tone.

"You're full of so much random crap that I sometimes wonder how it doesn't slop everywhere…" Deadpanned Sasuke. "How I can still stand looking at you is beyond me."

"Huh… well, that makes fighting you with your eyes on easier…" Pondered Naruto thoughtfully. "Speaking of your pinkeye, how's your training with Kakashi-sensei going?"

The Uchiha smirked. "Not bad, actually. I learned a few new tricks that I can do with Chidori. Still can't use them in battle situations yet 'cause they either take up too much chakra or are too hard to make naturally… but I might just be able to kick your ass easily if we have an all-out fight again…"

Naruto replied the smirk with one of his own. "Oh? Progress! You might actually not hold me back when we actually get sent on real missions later…"

"Dobe…" Sasuke growled as a spark of electricity shot around him, slowly growing in size.

"Teme…" Naruto grinned as the air around him began to pick up.

The two boys glared at each other for almost a minute while flaring their chakra, their elements clashing against one another occasionally, almost daring the other to make the first move… before they both burst out laughing and diffusing the situation instantly.

"Ahahahahaha!" Naruto roared. "Man that felt good! We were almost at each other's throats! We should do that more often! Hahahahaha!"

"Heheheh. If it were anyone else, I might have already done something." Sasuke chuckled. "Only you dobe… only you…" He shook his head and calmed down. "Thanks…" He mumbled out quietly.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "You say something, Teme?"

"Nothing important." Sighed the Uchiha as he began walking again. "Just that you really need to take a bath or something. You smell like crap."

"Paperwork! Clones! 8 hours!" The blonde raged instantly as the Ōgakari building came into view. "I swear I set up half the freaking festival and did more than that much of the registry forms!" He ranted. "Do you know what it's like to have the memory of accidentally smashing your fingers with a hammer go through your head every 20 minutes?"

"Well, now I know not to ask you to do any construction work on any place worth focusing on…" Sasuke smirked, knowing full well that Naruto was the one who did most of the work on the bridge in wave.

"I'm a ninja, not an architect!" The jinchūriki countered. "I specialize in blowing stuff up, not making them!"

"Which is why you're forbidden from helping Tenten make any more high level exploding tags…" Deadpanned the Uchiha as he reached the door. "We're all too afraid of you giving Konohamaru or his friends one of them…"

"But you know that would be the best present to give a kid that age in order to make them worship you for the rest of their live!" Naruto moaned.

"Yeah… all 5 minutes of it." The Uchiha countered as he opened the door. "Come on. This place always gives me the creeps. I'm always expecting that nut Crypt jumping out and try to do something else fucked up to me again. The sooner you help me out with whatever I'm supposed to get here, the sooner we can leave psycho ward… something about instructions for melding my lightning and fire elements easier…"

Naruto snorted. "Goodie. Fire-lightning hybrid elements. Honestly, how the hell does that work? A flashbang art? Just a few seals and…" He paused. "There are a lot of living things in here… did Crypt sneak into Scab's experiment lab again before they left?" He took out a couple of kunai. "Ye shall not have my organs this time, vile beasts!"

"Surprise!" Shouted everyone in the room as they popped out of their hiding spots, which, being ninja, were actually well placed… only for Kiba to get pinned to a wall by the two kunai that Naruto had taken out a second earlier. "What the hell, man?" The Inuzuka roared as he tried to free himself.

"Huh?" The blonde blanched as he looked around and saw the Happy Birthday sign, the food, everyone there either looking at him expectantly… or at Kiba who had just been pinned to the wall. There was a small pile of gifts in one corner of the room, and for the most part everyone seemed to be in a good mood. "Ah…" He nodded. "It was only Kiba. Silly Kiba, you know better than to jump out and try to surprise me when you haven't taken a bath in over a week…"

"That's it! This is the last time I try and do something nice for you, Uzumaki!" Roared the boy as he continued to dislodge himself from the wall.

"It's not my fault you look and smell like something that was the result of a mad scientist experiment gone wrong… or one of Orochimaru's experiments gone 'right.'" Naruto pouted in his defense before blinking several times and looking around again. "Wait… this is a birthday party? For me?"

"Holy crap, you only just realized that? How slow are you?" Kin roared angrily from where she was standing. "Even spandex boy would have gotten it faster than you!"

"Judging from the position of the moon and the sun, probably the speed of an infant civilian's at the moment." Naruto replied honestly. "What do you expect? It's not like I've been invited to a decent number of parties in my life." He shrugged as he walked into the building, noting that everyone became significantly more somber at that comment. "Buuut I'm fairly certain…" He grinned as he reached the drinks table and grabbed some beer. "That they start off with everyone getting shit faced!" He roared before he drank the entire container quickly and slammed the cup down and ran to the kitchen. "Gah! It buuuuurrrrrnnnsss!"

Naruto got cheers and laughs from everyone in the room.

"Heheh…" Jiraiya laughed as he snuck out from his hiding place. "The brat still can't handle the adult drinks…"

"Actually, it's the opposite pervert." Tsunade sighed as she appeared next to him. "Because of the fox, he'll probably be able to handle more alcohol in his system than the rest of the village combined before he actually gets buzzed… lucky little bastard…"

The Toad Sage smirked as everyone else in the room swarmed the blonde as he stumbled out of the kitchen completely disoriented. "He's good at playing a crowd though to hide his true feelings…" He sighed as he momentarily saw the boy's eyes water for a moment before returning to normal. "He's really just so happy that he doesn't really know how to express himself…" He sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "The overconfident fool persona… comes in handy more often than anyone ever really realizes…"

"Speaking from experience?" Tsunade asked in an almost concerned tone as she watched Hinata approach her crush.

"… More often than anyone ever really realizes…" Repeated the Sannin in an almost regretful tone…

"Happy birthday, Naruto-kun…" Hinata smiled as she gave Naruto a long hug. "We started planning for it ever since you were in the hospital…"

"You mean I started planning for it!" Ino roared, already buzzed due to her light weight and her low alcohol tolerance. "Worship the ground I stand on like Chōji does, Blondie!"

"Ino, I'm not going to carry you back home if you keep on bringing me up in conversations like that…" Chōji grumbled as Shino patted him on the back sympathetically.

"She's already got you carrying her home like a princess?" Kiba laughed as he finally yanked the last kunai pinning his coat to the wall. "Dude, you are so whipped!"

Unfortunately for Kiba, Ino's hearing was not one of the things affected by early inebriation. "Oi mutt! No one talks down to Chōji like that but me! Shintenshin!" She yelled as she aimed her body swapping technique at the dumbstruck Inuzuka.

Moments later Kiba, was walking in a flamboyant manner across the room. "Whew! Man, these clothes stink! I feel like taking them off…"

Naruto blinked as the possessed Inuzuka began to take his coat off. "Well… this party has already been engraved in our minds as the one Kiba will never let us bring up in conversation ever again…" He grabbed Hinata's hand. "Let's get out of here before we become as mentally scarred as Kiba…"

"Right…" Giggled Hinata as she followed Naruto outside of the house and then jumped onto the roof of the building. She loved Kiba like a brother, but like all brothers, he was prone to do stupid things that she had no intention of helping him out of.

"So…" Naruto sighed as the pair heard cheers and cries of disgust from the building. "You're all better from draining yourself of chakra a few days ago?"

Hinata nodded. "Y-Yeah. Sorry for worrying you…" She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "I just… felt guilty. I couldn't do anything to help my clan when we were attacked… and yet you came in again to save us and got hurt because of my inability to do anything…"

Naruto responded by lightly hitting the girl over her head. "Idiot…" He sighed. "There's nothing wrong with getting caught if it means making sure your loved ones aren't hurt. Your dad was probably caught the same way, and odds are likely that he is one of the few people in the village that can still kick my ass… as long as I'm not using the Kyūbi's chakra or Sage Mode, of course…" He added childishly, causing Hinata to giggle.

"That may be so, but he has told me that if he catches you doing anything indecent to me, not even Tsunade-sama will be able to prevent him from castrating you…" She sighed, causing Naruto to pale.

"If that's the case, please don't tell Ero-nii." Naruto shivered. "He would simply interpret it as a new training exercise for me…"

o. o. o.

With Ghost:

Said blind immortal turned to the sky with a dazed look. "I sense… future possibilities… delicious… exquisite possibilities…" He struck a pose and pointed to the sky. "These glorious existences must be FOUND!"

o. o. o.

Back with the teenage lovebirds:

"My self-preservation senses are tingling…" The boy stated with wide eyes. "I'm scared…"

Hinata hugged the suddenly scared shitless boy tightly. "It's okay, Naruto-kun. I won't let the bad mean insane people get you…"

The two remained in that position for a while as they listened to the party go on and Kiba apparently regained control of his body again… and found his pants… before Naruto spoke up again. "You know… it's not possible to protect and save everyone, Hinata-chan…" He said in a soft tone, almost in a way as if to admit it to himself.

"I know…" Hinata replied as she hugged him tighter. "I just… feel so helpless when I can't help even a single person… it feels like it's rubbed in my face every time I remember it…"

"Hinata-chan… no one can protect everyone…" The blonde sighed. "… That's why people have friends and help them get stronger. It's so we can help others and each other without getting in over our heads… though even that isn't guaranteed…"

"I know that, Naruto-kun…" Whispered Hinata. "I just wished that I wasn't so helpless and powerless so much…"

"It's okay. There's nothing wrong with that." Naruto responded. "Shit happens. I feel powerless sometimes about my situation, too… but I just laugh it off as shitty luck and hope that it doesn't happen again… and if it does, I at least know what to expect…" He deadpanned. "Though that doesn't really help out with all the hell Ero-nii's put me through…"

Hinata laughed. "I doubt anything could prepare a person for Ghost-sensei's training…" She paused before kissing the boy on his head. "Happy birthday Naruto-kun…"

Naruto grinned. "I thought we weren't at the present part of the party yet."

The girl grinned happily. "I decided to spoil you a bit…"

Several minutes later…

"You two are done with your private time, I see…" Jiraiya grinned as Naruto and Hinata walked back into the fully active party.

"You're eager to talk to a pair of puppets I have about a certain pornographic book, I see…" Naruto countered, causing the sage to pale instantly.

"I trust my cousin is in good condition…" Neji stated casually, almost perfectly hiding the underlying threat in the sentence.

"I'm not sure…" Naruto replied with an airy tone. "Why don't you check for yourself?"

Hinata jabbed Naruto in the stomach with a jūken strike before turning to her cousin. "He didn't do anything and if I catch you looking at me, YOU'LL be the one left in pieces by the end of the night…" She warned.

Neji sputtered and stepped back. "I had no intention of doing something like that, Hinata-sama! I was just making sure that…"

He stopped as the girl laughed lightly and patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, Nii-san. I was just playing with you… you really do need to relax a bit more…"

"Heheh… you got played, Neji…" Naruto sniggered, still hunched over as Hinata went to get a drink.

"Do you want another jūken strike to match the one Hinata gave you?" Neji asked irritably.

"Hold on for a sec, I'm weighing my options…" The blonde replied, looking almost as if he was considering it.

"Ah yes! I almost forgot!" Haku shouted as she pounded a fist into her other hand. "The Ōgakari did say they set up a karaoke machine for us…"

"Yes!" Lee shouted excitedly. "I cannot wait to show everyone the flames of youth of my voice!"

"Uuugh…" Ino groaned. "I should have waited longer before going back to my body…"

"The hell you're possessing me again, devil woman!" Kiba shouted as he ran into another room, causing everyone to laugh until they saw that Ino was looking at them all intently.

"They seem to be having fun." Kurenai chuckled to Asuma as the jōnin-sensei watched the shinobi in the room run away from Ino.

"RAAAAMMMMEEEENNNN!" Naruto's voice was heard from the kitchen.

"They definitely do…" Smirked the bearded man as he spied Gai ranting and smiling next to the beverages section. "Whoever's idea it was to station Gai at the drinks area is a log damned genius."

"It was mine." Kakashi sighed as he read his book. "And it originally was to keep him away from me and Lee away from any form of alcohol. Seeing how it's keeping our students from over indulging on the booze, I'd say that it worked better than I thought…"

"Ah Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, there you are…" Grinned Sarutobi as he, Fū, and Rōshi walked towards the group. "Quite a festival here, isn't it?"

"Hokage-sama!" Kurenai bowed. "I didn't expect for you to be here… as well as…" She glanced over to the two new guests.

"Bah. I'm not a big fan of the large festivals myself." Rōshi grinned. "Too many people glaring at me… too many of them cops…"

"There were several incidents where he over indulged himself and somehow lost control of the location of his clothes in public." The Third Hokage sighed, rubbing the sides of his forehead.

"Pants can be a very tricky thing to outmaneuver given the right conditions…" Sniggered the red headed old man.

"I simply don't like crowded places, but the geezer wanted to show me something festive while in Konoha, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and came along." Fū shrugged.

Asuma laughed. "You really don't care how people address you, do you?"

"I'm retired and old, damn it. Unless the village is burning down, I'm not obligated to do anything." The old man grinned happily, causing Kurenai to gape in shock.

"Saru loves being retired a bit too much." Laughed Rōshi as he went to the bar. "Don't mind me, kids! I was just invited by your ex- Hokage there! He and I shared a few drinks back in the day… also a few exploding kunai here and there, but honestly, who didn't try to kill each other back then! Hahahaha!"

"He's certainly in a festive mood…" Kakashi deadpanned as the jinchūriki sampled some of the alcohol there and began to lecture a very confused Tenten, Gai, Haku, Ino, Chōji, and Shino about the various drinks there and how to mix them to get better ones.

"Hokage-sama… are you sure it is okay to bring these two to such a private event? In a clan compound no less?"

"If you must know, Kurenai, I invited them myself, and the Ōgakari said it was okay for them to come in so long as there was no extensive damage to the property." The Professor sighed. "They informed me that anything important was already hidden, protected, and isolated from the rest of the home before preparations even began, so there is nothing to worry about." He began to walk up the stairs. "Now if you will excuse me, Waltz has been generous enough to hide a stash of rather rare and potent smoking tobacco for me to enjoy at this event…"

"I worry for that grandson of his…" Fū mused as the old man disappeared around a corner. "Smoking is shown to be pretty bad for the lungs…"

"Not if I'm around it's not…" Tsunade sighed. "Smoking is a pretty big problem for every male in the Sarutobi clan. I've made a good sum of money just from cleaning out all of their lungs…"

'So that's why Asuma's been able to last longer in bed so soon after Tsunade-sama came back…' Kurenai mused as she glared at her boyfriend, who in turn was trying his hardest not to fall into her trap. 'And to think I believe he had actually gotten off his ass to work out more…'

The truth was that the smoker's enhanced performance was a result of both, but even if he claimed that, Kurenai wouldn't have believed him, and he knew it.

"My god…" Kin gaped as she backed up from the kitchen. "How the hell can he eat so much?"

"Is she talking about that fat kid I saw earlier?" Fū mused as she tried looking at what Kin was scared of. "Wasn't he an Akimichi? Those guys are supposed to be able to pack away food like no one's business…"

"I'm right here…" Chōji deadpanned from the other side of the doorway. "Just as a future reference, we 'food packers' tend to wail on people who call us fat…"

"I'll keep that in mind…" Fū sighed before spotting the focus of everyone's attention. "Wow… that's… impressive and disturbing at the same time…"

In front of everyone, Naruto was on a ramen eating frenzy, downing bowl after bowl of the stuff as if his life depended on it.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Kiba chanted while laughing his ass off.

"To ensure that the clan's honor is not tarnished… I will make sure to never bring up this moment in conversation ever again…" Neji stated to himself while twitching rampantly.

"So long as the Ōgakari cover for this, I have no problems with this setup!" Teuchi happily claimed as he barely managed to fill the bowls in time for Naruto.

"I wish I could say this is the most nauseating thing I've ever seen…" Tsunade grunted. "But unfortunately, I'm a medic…"

"And I use the organs of giant toads as shields of defense and potential weapons." Jiraiya sighed. "Still, this is a solid second in my book…"

'Amazing…' Sai mused. 'He's already eaten 26 bowls and yet he hasn't slowed down. Even if he apparently isn't able to be poisoned by anything, this information may prove to be useful to Danzō-sama…'

"Do you think we should stop him?" Kurenai asked worriedly. "At this rate he might end up hurting himself…"

"I think Hinata's got that covered." Kakashi mused. "She's the only one other than Ghost that can completely control him…"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata spoke up from the side. "If you keep on eating ramen, you won't have enough room for the food I made…"

Said gorger of food paused with his cheeks bloated and stared at Hinata with puppy dog eyes while whining. The absurd sight caused everyone to sweatdrop.

"We can always have Teuchi-san keep some ramen in storage for you for later." The girl replied as if she could read his mind.

The blonde downed his mouthful of broth and pouted. "Fine… but can I at least open my presents first so I can make room for more of your food?" His eyes became sparkly again.

"Already?" The girl asked nervously as she looked around at everyone. "Is that okay?"

"Go nuts…" Kakashi lazily waved his hand.

"It's his birthday." Sarutobi shrugged with a smoking pipe in his mouth.

"Pleaaase?" Naruto asked with his ears and tail out.

Hinata couldn't respond as she had already assimilated herself to his tail before she even knew it was out. "Tail… fuzzy… soft…" She swooned, causing everyone to look at her nervously.

"Just a fair warning, guys…" Naruto started. "It is very dangerous to your health to approach her when she's like this."

o. o. o.

With Shadow:

Shadow stood laughing maniacally over the severely beaten bodies of her charges before pausing and looking up at the ceiling. "A fuzzy moment has passed and I was not there to claim it. This displeases me…" A moment later she shifted her body to dodge a bone spike that Kimimaro had launched at the woman from a distance. Moments later, the body she had been standing on transformed into a chunk of dirt. "Why, thank you Kimimaro!" The woman smiled sweetly. "I needed someone to serve as my target to vent my fuzzy-less aggression on…"

"Oi…" Sakon whispered as the fight picked up again. "Should we… you know… help?"

"Suffer my FUZZIELESS PAIN, NON BELIEVER!" Shadow roared as something they couldn't see blew up near her.

"That's a big fuck no here…" Tayuya grunted.

"Ditto." Jirōbō added.

The remains of Orochimaru's guard continued to play possum as they watched the bone wielder get the shit kicked out of his stoic ass… and prayed that Shadow didn't notice they were still slightly more than barely alive…

Unfortunately for them… they found out that their prayers were left unanswered several minutes later…

o. o. o.

Back to the party again:

"It's almost scary that she's turned into a swooning little girl like that…" Fū commented as the group walked outside, noting that Naruto had to hold up the girl with his arms in order to follow them or else risk dragging Hinata on the ground and possibly dislocating his tail. "Why are we here again instead of opening presents?"

"Ghost-san said that we should look at the sky above the village around 10 tonight for a surprise." Haku replied. "It's just about time, so…"

"Hey, what's that?" Ino asked as she pointed to a bright light rising from the village at a fast rate.

"Quiet!" Kiba shouted and cupped his ears. "Can you guys hear that?"

Within moments, the rest of the group shut up and listened carefully. Soon enough, they could hear a familiar gleeful cry of insanity from the direction of the rising light. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"You have got to be kidding me…" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Of all the illogical things to do…" Shino shivered in disbelief.

"Yeah… that's Crypt all right…" Kakashi sighed as he lifted his forehead protector to see more clearly.

"The hell is he…?" Naruto began to ask as the rocket reached an impressive height above the village before he/it exploded in a bright flash that momentarily blinded everyone.

As their eyesight cleared, they saw that the sky was littered with red lights organized in a way that clearly spelled out a message that had everyone grinning for various reasons. Happy Birthday Minion Number Q!

"They don't do anything subtly, do they?" Asuma chuckled as he patted Naruto on the head.

"For once, I'm glad they didn't." The blonde replied happily.

"Well, this party's been fun and all, but I have to get to the office soon to take care of all the annoying damages that will eventually be done tonight." Tsunade sighed as she walked up in front of the group. "So before I go, I might as well get my gift out of the way first." She crossed her arms under her chest and smirked. "Naruto! Hinata! Neji! Lee! Kin! Ino! Kiba! Sai! I have an important mission for the 8 of you!"

Almost instantly all 8 of them stood straight up and in front of the strong willed woman standing at attention. "Yes, Hokage-sama!" They replied at once.

The woman took out a scroll and tossed it at Naruto. "It is an A-ranked mission to protect the Prince of Moon Country as he makes the final stretch of his travels to other countries before coming back home. Once there, you will stay for a duration of 2 weeks to assess the island that serves as its capital and begin establishing relationships between our two countries. Expenses while there other than food and board will be taken out of your pay, but otherwise you can do as you wish so long as it doesn't reflect poorly on Konoha." She paused for dramatic effect. "Naruto Uzumaki will serve as the overall team leader, and Hinata Hyūga will serve as second in command." The busty woman smirked as she saw everyone gape at the turn of events. "Normally I would send a squad of jōnin for this, but I think that a good portion of your group will do just as well. You're lucky. Moon country's capital is on an island that is said to have perfect weather all year long and great casinos. I really want to go there on vacation…" She shook her head. "Regardless, this is a big mission, so DON'T SCREW THIS UP BRAT!" The aged woman roared before calming down. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do some work. Happy birthday, Naruto. You deserved it…"

Naruto stood in place as he held the mission scroll in his hand. He knew that the mission to the Land of Moon wasn't going to go smoothly, but with two full squads behind him, he was fairly certain that they would be able to pull through…

Unfortunately, even Naruto couldn't predict the proverbial shit storm that would cross paths with his group during this mission… but for now, he would continue to enjoy his birthday…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Sorry it took so long to finish this guys, but once again, I have trouble making the sappy parts and they hold me up.

So just a fair warning, I'm going to be extremely busy with class work in the upcoming months, so expect the next few chapters to be slowed down a bit for a while. I'm going to San Francisco to work on a massive project that I need to do in order to get my bachelors, and I'm starting to freak out. What saddens me is that I'm working on data from the Aurora Borealis and yet I seem to be unable to convert that into a decent pickup line for women I don't know! Curse my over analytical mind!

So chapters. My guess on Naruto's new technique? Rasengan + Kamehameha. Cool, but definitely not necessary considering he still has no decent base techniques to use. Seeing what the 7 swordsmen look like is cool, but getting the swords would be better. Kabuto is insane, Madara is evil, and Edo-Tensei is pretty much officially broken. What else is new.

I gotta prepare for this blizzard that just hit my area, so I'll cut my ranting here.

Review! Worship the Log! Never try to take off a mall Santa's beard, they're wearing them for a reason! And Review again!