Title: Recovered Files (Chapter 5/5)
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Prussia (Gilbert)/Hungary (Elizaveta).
Warnings: None~ :D
Summary: The day the papers had been signed, the divorce finalized, Hungary left Austria's house. It only took her a few seconds to realize exactly which direction she found herself running in. PrussiaxHungary.
AN: Last chapter. I won't make excuses, it's so incredibly late TT__TT
Chapter Five: The Universal Law of Gravitation
Somewhere along the line, sometime after the clouds had broke and it had started pouring on them, Prussia had separated himself from Hungary and led her home, both of them feeling kinda drugged up. The chilly water had soaked both of them to the bone by the time they trampled through his front door, and they left puddles every time they hesitated in step. In a mechanical trance, the albino had tossed Hungary a towel and pushed her into the bathroom to take her hot shower. He hesitated outside the door, listening to the shower curtain be pulled back.
Maybe he felt a little better when he heard Hungary give a satisfied sigh as the hot water finally started up. The puddle at his feet started to get ridiculously big, so the albino figured it would probably be best if he dried himself off.
When he got into his room, he locked the door behind him.
He pulled the first pair of pants out of his drawer that his fingers touched. His wet clothes stubbornly clung to him as he stripped, but he hardly noticed. Climbing into bed, he tousled his hair almost nervously. He wanted to stay up a little longer, but he'd rather be in bed--pretending to be asleep--when Hungary got out of the shower.
Ruby eyes closed, and he started counting to a hundred in his head. Even after he got to thirty, it didn't really make him any sleepier, so he changed languages and started counting in Italian. Anything to distract him from over-thinking about what had happened. What she'd said. What he'd felt. What would've happened if the rain hadn't provided an easy out for him.
Otto. Nove. Dieci.
Hungary had kissed him. That meant next to nothing, really. Just because you kiss someone, doesn't mean you really, truly love them.
Quindici. Sedici. Diciassette.
She'd actually said the words. Out loud. To him. But just because you say something, doesn't mean you really, truly mean it.
Ventiquattro. Venticinque. Ventisei.
Maybe she did actually mean it. Maybe she loved him.
Maybe she didn't.
Maybe it wasn't so cut and dry. Maybe what they had was something in between. Not love. Not hate. Not exactly friendship either. Something else that didn't have a name.
Thinking about it, Prussia didn't even know what love was. If love had been what most people said it was, then Hungary didn't love him. And he didn't love her. You can't do things like that to someone you love. You don't knowingly hurt the person you 'love'.
Because isn't love supposed to be doing your best to make someone happy? To be around for them when they need you? Prussia was sure he'd caused Hungary more aggravation and hardships than happiness. And Hungary hadn't been there for him when he'd needed her.
Wasn't love something tender, something fragile? There was nothing fragile about the way they'd been touching each other earlier. There was absolutely nothing tender about what he'd said to her on that road.
Prussia would never be able to love like that. He was a fighter, not a lover.
...Well, crap. He'd lost count of his number.
The albino let his eyes open a little, staring sleepily at the darkened ceiling. The rain outside had died down, only small flashes of lightening at random intervals now. He had the urge to look out the window and see how the sky lit up with electricity and power. But with his fingers tapping against his thighs, he rejected the impulse and tried to lay as still as possible.
It took only a few moments for him to get antsy again. His foot twitched. He popped his knuckles absently, breaking the quiet of the dark bedroom. He cringed when the water for the shower finally shut off, leaving the house even more hushed than before.
Okay, so sleep was out of the question. Because he could hear Hungary in the next room over. His ears couldn't pick up specific sounds, but with common sense, it was obvious that she would be changing into her nightclothes now.
Not that he really cared or anything. But it was... awkward to know that she was getting dressed. As in, not fully clothed yet. In the next room over...
Well, that probably meant her hair was still wet. Hadn't he heard once that if you went to bed with wet hair, you'd be sick by morning? And he couldn't have a sick person germing up his house. He'd have to let her know. About the wet hair thing. So she wouldn't get sick and infect him and the house.
His feet didn't cooperate with him as he got out of bed, he stumbled a bit before he made it out of his door. It was so not his fault, though. The floor had to have tripped him somehow.
Darkness surrounded Prussia as he made his way noiselessly down the familiar hallway. His fingertips brushed the walls and doorways, keeping track of where he was. His bare feet would occasionally nudge something, and he would kick it irritatedly. His eyes adjusted quickly, though, so he could see the shine coming off the guest room doorknob.
As he turned the knob, the albino hesitated half way. What was his reason for coming again?
...Oh right, going to bed with wet hair causes colds.
His eyebrows lifted mockingly as he frowned at himself. Really, he could do better than that. That was a totally lame excuse for barging into the guestroom.
He turned around slowly--clenching his fists when he bumped into yet another random object on the floor. The rain was picking up now, he could hear it hitting the windows. Prussia had been right in making them head home. No one would want to be caught in the middle of a strangely sad, heavy downpour like this. Or maybe someone would, if they liked melancholy things like that.
Maybe a year ago, Prussia would've welcomed the angst of that.
But tonight, even in the confusion and misunderstanding he felt after she'd kissed him and said those things, he couldn't bring himself to be unhappy. There was just something about someone telling you that they loved you. Something about it that made it irrelevant if the person was exaggerating her feelings or not.
With his eyes at half-mast, Prussia gripped the railing of the stairs, conscious of not falling down the staircase. Not that he'd ever do that, of course. He was Prussia, he didn't fall for anything.
The albino didn't bother putting on shoes before he stepped outside. He wasn't even sure why he was heading out into the rain, having rejected the dreary idea only moments before. But he didn't know what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go next. But Prussia knew he didn't want to go to sleep.
So it seemed like an alright idea to sit down on the back porch of his home, rest his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand, and study the precipitation. The rain was blocked from hitting him overhead, but random drops would occasionally plop down on him from cracks in the overhang of the porch. It was too cold for him out here--he still only had on the random pair of pants, not even wearing a shirt--he probably should've gone straight back inside.
But there was that same striking feeling about this rain, that aura he'd brushed fleetingly when him and Hungary had stood on the bridge. He couldn't even begin to describe the imprint it had on him, it was too complicated and he had never been particularly good with putting feelings into words.
The feeling wasn't going away this time, and something about it made him almost want it to be permanent. He kind of liked it, the effect it had on him reminded him of... Hungary herself.
As she crossed his mind, while he sat there restlessly on the porch steps, Prussia felt the first stirrings in his gut. The nagging feeling wormed its way into his stomach, the one that whispers that maybe you've done something wrong. Maybe you messed up. Maybe you could've handled that situation better and been a little less harsh.
Maybe you're a hypocrite.
Maybe it's your responsibility to fix it and take your own advice.
Because although they'd kissed and touched and conveyed things through actions, the problem hadn't been solved. Fifty freakin years worth of loneliness doesn't just vanish when three words are whispered.
Prussia still hadn't forgiven Hungary. She'd given him so many new scars.
But this damned feeling, this feeling of rain and hurting and wanting and then smiling again after it all, this feeling was telling him something else. This feeling was unruly, it was compelling him to do something. This spirit was ready to fix a problem. Ready to figure out exactly what the problem was in the first place.
Even as Prussia was struggling with himself, the rain was still falling effortlessly, naturally giving the earth its bath. The same rain that would stay up in the clouds, stubbornly defying gravity, until it finally let itself fall.
That was the answer, though, wasn't it?
Getting to his feet, Prussia literally shook with childish excitement. He shifted from foot-to-foot jumpily, tilting his head to stare up into the dark clouds. His hand stretched out and he let the rain slip through his fingers, then he brought it up and ran his fingers through his hair. He took a deep breath, and then he was in the house, locking the door, going up the stairs, all before he could even think of anything other than his revelation.
Sometimes, you make your own problems.
Okay, that had sounded a lot more philosophical in his head.
But it was true. He'd told Hungary to act on what she wanted. He'd criticized her for not doing anything to prove her point. He'd been surprised when she had.
And then Prussia hadn't proved anything to her in return. All he'd done was yell at her. He hadn't even let her finish showing him what she meant--although that was more of the rain's fault, for interrupting them.
On his way back down the dimly lit hall, he bumped into one of the boxes he'd kicked before. The lid slid halfway off, and Prussia kneeled down irritatedly to fix it. It was the box filled with letters, of course. Because really, what else would it be? The thought crossed his mind to open all the envelopes back up again, to study every word she'd written. He could spend hours longer just imagining the scenes she described in them, her adventures with Liechtenstein, and Austria. He wondered what it would've been like if he'd proposed to her instead of Austria. Would their stories have been more interesting than hers and Austria's?
And then Prussia wondered why it mattered.
Smoothly, he pushed the box back against the wall, and finished going down the hallway without knocking into anything else. He paused at her door for a minute, hand hovering up to knock. That was a ridiculous notion, though, at three in the morning. So he turned her doorknob easily and just stepped on in.
He crept quietly up to her bed--his stealth skills were top notch--proud that the blankets didn't so much as twitch. He grinned in the dark, his fingers crossing just a little, and then he turned and let himself fall into the bed backwards, arms spread wide. He bounced a couple times, his elbow nudging the girl's side as the springs of the bed squeaked. She growled something unintelligible at him, a warning of some sort. Ignoring it, he crawled under the covers, the fort burning with warmth and numbing his senses after having just been outside in the cold air.
He ran a hand through her hair thoughtlessly, and Prussia laughed when she went stiff as a board. Ironically, her hair wasn't even wet.
"If you ever scare me like that again, I'll kill you," Hungary griped sleepily.
"Ya know, you saying that just makes me want to do it again." Prussia smirked, surprised at the genuineness of the gesture, the easy way he could let himself smile.
She turned on her side to face him. The albino lifted the covers over their heads, sealing in the warmth. Hungary groaned, "What time is it?"
"I dunno. Like, three something or other."
A beat passed, and then Hungary smiled wanly at him. A musing, eye-catchingly earnest smile. Not a smirk or a grin. Not a taunt. A smile. Prussia let himself keep looking and not turn away from it.
"...Well, what do you want?" she asked softly, the smile wilting. Because with Prussia, there was always a catch. They both knew that.
Her eyes fell back shut, almost like she was getting ready to go back to sleep. She was growing tired of this, both of them were. He didn't really have the energy for this bipolar game anymore either. Especially not after they'd had their weird, confessing moment.
"Why are you in here at three in the morning, then?" Hungary sighed.
"Because. I can be."
Something subtle changed in Hungary's face then, but she kept her eyes closed and Prussia couldn't tell what she was feeling. She just kind of softened somehow, the lines disappearing between her eyebrows. And she looked so insanely feminine--so different than the intense fighter she used to be and yet still so much the same--that the albino didn't have to let himself stare. He wouldn't have been able to not to.
"You're... beautiful. Maybe we would work." Prussia cringed inwardly, but let himself say what he was thinking. It was probably the stupidest, shallowest, sappiest thing he could've thought about letting out. But those words were exactly what ran threw his mind, and saying it was just... the right thing to do in this case. Saying what you feel isn't always rocket science, it was almost easy.
"What?" she asked skeptically, giving him a look as her eyes lifted up to his. He propped himself up on his elbow, feeling so unbelievably awkward that he almost didn't.
"I mean, I think you're uh, pretty good-looking, I guess." God, something tells me I'm never going to live this one down.
She raised an eyebrow, and he didn't really blame her for being confused.
"Don't play around with me, Gilbert."
Prussia felt his cheeks flush. Okay, maybe saying these things wasn't exactly easy, but he stood firm. "Nah, I'm being totally serious right now. Really."
"No you're not," she sighed, closing her eyes again. "I get it. I messed up. It's gonna be a while before you forgive me. But that's okay, I'll still be here in the morning. So maybe tomorrow."
He listened carefully, and Prussia let the concept sink in. Maybe tomorrow. Isn't that what procrastinators tell themselves, when they know they're never going to finish?
No, he really hadn't forgiven her yet. Prussia couldn't even make a guess for how long it would take him to get over the abandonment. He might not ever rely on her as much as he used to. Loneliness changes a person more than you'd think, he wouldn't be ready to integrate her back into his life for a long time.
But Prussia wouldn't ever forgive himself if he waited for that day.
So Prussia let himself fall into this, backwards and upside-down without any more hesitation. No parachute, nothing to slow his decline. Maybe he'd crash, break apart and splatter like a rain drop does when it hits the ground. Or maybe he'd land in the ocean, be welcomed seamlessly into the mess of this indescribable feeling.
He wouldn't know until he made it back down to earth.
A big fan: No, you're not an idiot. You're funny XD Updates are nice... -guilty, awkward chuckle-...
naria-satome: haha yeah, sometimes it's better to show things through actions rather than words~ (...does that make me sound shallow?) Thank you so much ^^
Helena: lol I bet that was scary XD Sorry for making you wait so long... And thanks lots~!
Tixy: TT__TT I am truly, sincerely sorry for the delayed update. School started again and I got distracted :C Thank you so much! I do plan to keep writing about these two~ *gives you a hug*
Anon: Lo siento! Gomen nasai! Scusi! Pardon! Sorrysorry! You know, I got your review and was like, "...Screw procrastination~ I'm gonna finish this right now."
So... I truly, sincerely hope you liked it. This is the last chapter of this story :C Thank you so very, very, very much to everyone who's read this. Really, you guys are my motivation~ There's definitely more PrussiaxHungary that's going to come from me, so look out for it if you'd like~ The ideas I have are probably going to be more lighthearted than this story (more like 'Cacophony', if you've read that one).
Please review? Thanks again to everyone who stuck with this until the end~ Hopefully, this isn't a goodbye ^//////^