Hm. I've been away from for quite a while now *cough*6 years*cough* and honestly didn't think I was coming back as an author. But I never stopped writing fanfiction, just stopped posting it. But, in the time that I haven't posted, I have also had no feedback whatsoever. So I'm curious as to what my writing style/skill is like now. Therefore, please review and critique. If you just want to leave the regular "Yay! PerryxDoof rox!!" type post, that's fine too. But I'd love to get a few well thought out opinions, too. I'd rather not get flames, but I understand it's an occupational hazard that comes with writing fanfiction.
I'm still not certain how far I'll get in this story. I do want to get it finished, and am trying to piece it together, but I'm hitting some metal road blocks. Let me know if it begins to feel fragmented. So here is the finished Chapter one. Not a lot is changed in the first half, but the second half has much more to it.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!
"Huh? Oh, there you are, Perry the Platypus," Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked toward the open window Perry had just jumped through. The semi-aquatic secret agent now stood in a crouch, waiting for a trap to spring shut or for Doofenshmirtz to do something. The evil doctor just stayed where he was, sitting in his recliner, drumming his skinny fingers on the arm of the chair. He glanced up at a wall clock.
"You're kind of late, aren't you? I mean, usually you burst in here just on cue or a few minutes before." He motioned toward a giant laser looking thing in the corner. "I've had this thing done for nearly half an hour now and have just been sitting here waiting for you to show up!" Perry just watched him carefully. Doofenshmirtz sighed a bit and stood up. "Ah, well," he said as he stretched his arms over his head. "Let's get started." He walked over to the corner where the contraption he had finished earlier was set up.
Perry followed, watching for any sign of a trap as he went. His missions usually followed a pretty routine set of events; one of which involved him getting caught by Doofenshmirtz' trap then breaking free somehow. He'd like to avoid the trap if possible; it went a bit quicker that way.
"This," Doofenshmirtz began once they were both near the machine, "Is my latest evil invention: the Woma-nator! You might not be able to tell because of the placement of the hyphen, but the word 'woman' is supposed to be in there. I ordered the stencil from this place online and they just put that hyphen in there. It's a typo or something. Anyway, I thought about trying to fix it on my own, but that would involve cutting the stencil apart, trying to line it up right again and all that so I just went with it. I figured the point would come across just fine the way it is. You get it, right?"
Perry just stared at him.
"Well, moving on… With this device," Doofenshmirtz went on, "I can turn any sentient being into a human female!"
Perry raised a non-existent eyebrow at that.
Doofenshmirtz shrugged. "I haven't been having too great a luck with the ones that already exist, so I figure why not try making some new ones?"
Perry gave him a look that clearly said "that's just sad."
"Well, you know what, Perry the Platypus? No one asked for your opinion! Now observe!" Doofenshmirtz grabbed the handles of the device and aimed it at a canary sitting in a tree many stories down. A flash of green light and suddenly a young blonde woman was sitting on the branch looking quite surprised even before the thin branch broke under the sudden unexpected weight change.
"It's rather convenient that they're already clothed when they turn human," Doofenshmirtz observed. "It would be rather embarrassing if they weren't."
That was all Perry needed to see. Jumping into action, he did a flying kick straight into Doofenshmirtz's stomach. This sent the doctor doubling over as he fell to the side, causing the device to swivel on its stand and send a beam into the corner. One second there was a line of ants dragging a cookie crumb toward a hole in the wall, the next there was a cluster of identical, small, thin, brunette women. They all looked surprised a moment before their thoughts turned back to the crumb and they all began fighting for the piece.
Doofenshmirtz was still trying to re-catch his breath when Perry came at him with a punch which sent him and the Woma-nator in the other direction. Another ray of green and a plump, black-haired woman fell out of a spider web up in the corner of the room.
Knocking Doofenshmirtz out of the way, Perry jumped onto the device's control panel and began looking for the self-destruct button or a reverse switch. To his surprise, neither of these buttons had been included on the machine.
"Got you!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed just early enough for Perry to jump out of the way before the doctor could actually grab him. All Doofenshmirtz was able to do was sweep the secret agent's feet out from under him, causing Perry to slam into the metal body of the laser and slide to the floor, landing on his head.
Perry had a few moments to contemplate the need for thicker, softer hats before everything went black.
Perry woke up slowly, blinking up at a strange ceiling. He had to shut his eyes again as the light coming through a window to his left and the white of the ceiling combined to send a sharp pain through his head.
Even with his eyes closed, he was able to figure out a few things. First, he was in a bed. It had to be a rather small bed the way he fit in it so well. Where would someone get platypus sized sheets and pillows? Second, his hat was gone. But he'd deal with that later. Third, he felt weird, but that could have been a result of hitting his head. Fourth, he could smell flowers. That seemed odd.
Slowly opening his eyes a crack, Perry turned his head toward the scent. There was a small table beside the bed with a red rose in a vase. That explained the flower scent, but just raised so many more questions.
His hat was also set on the table. At least… it looked like his hat. It was much smaller than it should have been. He reached out to pick up his hat and stopped when a hand that was very much not his own responded.
It was a human hand.
A rather feminine looking human hand.
Everything he had just been thinking about came together instantly. The "small" bed, the weird feeling, his hat shrinking – he'd been hit by Doofenshmirtz's Woma-nator.
He pushed himself up in the bed and his – wait… no… her. She pushed herself up in the bed and felt like the world had just jumped slightly. She put her head down in her hands to let the dizziness and pain in the top of her head pass, and her vision was cut off by a curtain of straight, teal-colored hair. Not exactly a natural color, but in this culture that seemed obsessed with any hair color that wasn't their original one, it wasn't unheard of. If she could figure out where she was—
A knock on the door stopped her thoughts. She didn't have time to react before the door to the room opened and Doofenshmirtz entered carrying a tray of something that smelled delicious. Her stomach growled and made Perry wonder just how long she'd been out.
"Ah!" Doofenshmirtz stopped in the doorway when he saw Perry sitting up. He recovered from his surprise and moved further into the room. "Good morning, Perry Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus." He laughed awkwardly. "Or, I guess, 'good afternoon' would be more accurate. You… you've been out for quite some time. I thought you might be hungry once you woke up, so… I'll just set this here, okay? Okay." He set the tray on the table beside her hat and the rose. Perry gave the rose a raised eyebrow. Doofenshmirtz saw this and laughed uncomfortably again, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Oh… yeah… that…. Well, you see… I thought that maybe, since, you know, you're now a girl and I'm still a guy…I mean, we already know so much about each other, and that's always the most awkward step, isn't it?"
Perry just gave him a blank stare.
"Oh, come on! Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
Perry frowned a bit and sensed that her mind was protecting her sanity from something.
Doofenshmirtz sighed in resignation. "Fine. Let's get the humiliation over with." He grabbed the rose out of the vase on the table and held it out to Perry. "Perry Who-is-No-Longer-the Platypus, would you like to be my girlfriend… maybe?" He turned his head away and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing for the turn-down beating he was sure was coming.
Cautiously, Dr. Doofenshmirtz opened one eye and slowly looked back toward the bed. Perry was staring at a point somewhere between Doofenshmirtz's face and the rose in his out stretched hand, apparently in shock. Well, it was better than a beating.
Perry's left eye twitched slightly then she shook her head hard to clear it. She blinked up at Doofenshmirtz a few moments then gave him a bewildered look and pointed toward the door.
"What? Oh, you're wondering about the other girls?" Doofenshmirtz guessed. Perry nodded once. Doofenshmirtz sighed heavily and drooped a little. "Yeah… I… I tried talking to them, but… well… they just don't get me…" Perry frowned at this; her new, thin, teal eyebrows pulled together in skepticism. The doctor saw this and scowled. "That was the nice way of saying they laughed in my face. Well, the spider was polite enough to give me a little hug, but I think she was just trying to drink my blood." He rubbed his neck a little at this. "Yeah… I think I may have created a vampire, but," he shrugged. "Vampires are 'in' now, aren't they?" He shook his head dismissively. "Anyways…" He reoffered the flower to Perry. "What do you say? Give it a try?"
Perry stared at him. The doctor's face was so genuinely hopeful that it actually made her hesitate. He really, honestly, believed he had a chance at this. Did he? It was true they knew each other… Wow. She must have hit her head harder than she thought to even consider it.
Doofenshmirtz saw the hesitation in Perry's face begin to crumble into a scowl. He quickly changed his tactic.
"One week," he bargained, holding up one long finger for emphasis. "Just stay here for one week and see how it goes, hm? You never know unless you give it a chance!"
Perry's scowl deepened into a look of skepticism again and he quickly added. "In a week I can build a reverse woma-nator. Hang around that long, and I'll make everything go back to normal." He hastily added, "Of course, only if you want it to. If you don't want to…" the doctor trailed off as the scowl quickly returned to Perry's face and he back tracked. "Everything back to normal. You'll be a little fedora-wearing platypus again." When Perry's look of skepticism remained set on her face, Doofenshmirtz groaned a little before adding in a pained voice, "And no evil. For one week. Pinky swear."
Perry frowned at the proffered pinky finger then at the rose in the other hand. It was her job to keep Doofenshmirtz from committing evil… and the idea of going a full week without having to worry about what the crazy doctor was scheming was tempting… Her stomach grumbled, turning her thoughts back to more practical things. Hunger and the bump on her head must be working together to cloud her judgment.
Before Doofenshmirtz knew what was happening, Perry leapt to her feet on the bed, used the mattress as a spring board to propel herself into the air and over his head with a flip – grabbing half the sandwich off the plate on the table as she passed over it – and landed on the other side. She wobbled a bit as the floor came up to meet her much quicker than she was used to, but was able to recover without loosing too much time. Once she was out the door, she was able to quickly pinpoint her location in the building on the mental blueprints in her mind.
As she sprinted down the hall with no real plan of action in mind, Perry could hear the familiar sound of Doofenshmirtz cursing her name.
A quick note, I am in no way against true same sex yaoi. I just have this preference for a female human Perry. At least for this story. I don't know why.