A/N: I feel sorry for Crowfeather. Seriously, why did the Erins have to be so mean to him? (and Sorreltail! SERIOUSLY PEEOPLS) Crowfeather was my favorite and I felt really sorry for him. Please r&r!
Disclaimer: Warriors is not mine. Yet. :)
Unhappiness was something most WindClan cats connected with Crowfeather. When one was feeling miserable, they would at least thing, "At least I'm not Crowfeather."
Since the moment he was born, his life was filled to the brim with sorrow, pain, and loss. His early apprentice days were blissful and carefree. Crowfeather took them for granted. Everyone lived happily, if harshly, in the forest. There was nothing to worry about.
Then came a dream of the beginning of his torture. He traveled against his will to the sun-drown-place and slowly, but undeniably, fell in love with a wonderous cat. Feathertail was sweet, compassionate and friendly to him. The RiverClan she-cat was everything Crowfeather ever wanted in a mate.
But those idyllic days came shattering to a halt when she fell to her death. Crowfeather miserably returned home, and lead his Clan to the lake with the help of his companions on their quest to find Midnight.
He noticed the way Leafpaw handled her clanmates with gentleness and kindness. But he did not strengthen any friendship with the cat, because the memory of Feathertail was too sharp and painful in his mind. How could he ever fall in love again? How could he betray Feathertail in that unforgiveable way? No. It was not to be, either. Leafpaw was a medicine cat. Medicine cats do not take mates, especially with ones from other Clans.
But Crowfeather could not deny his growing emotions for the pretty she-cat, now named Leafpool, when he rescued her from falling to her death in the ThunderClan camp. A third and final section of joy came in the gray tom's life. Crowfeather secretly met Leafpool when the time was right and together they whispered sweet nothings to each other.
He knew it was wrong, but who could tell him to stop? Only a cat from StarClan, or Leafpool herself. No. It was surely meant to be, and no one would change that.
Crowfeather begged Leafpool to leave the clans to be together, but she was unsure and confused.
Later, though, a merry, yet despondent, Leafpool came to the tom and told him that she would go with him to where ever he would take her. Crowfeather was the happiest in his life. He could have Leafpool as a mate without living in fear or disgrace. And this was a perfect match. she was skilled with all kinds of healing knowledge, and he could fight and hunt to defend them. All was well.
Then, Midnight, the badger he met at the sun-drown-place ran into the couple in the hills beyond the clan territories, warning them that badgers would attack their homes. They were worried about the safety of their ex-clanmates, so they turned back to protect them.
To make it worse, Cinderpelt, Leafpool's medicine cat mentor, died in the ThunderClan camp during the battle while trying to save a queen's newly-born kits. Leafpool then decided to remain with ThunderClan as they needed a medicine cat. Crowfeather was heartbroken. For a moment, he was truly happy, but the badgers had to destroy their love.
He returned home dismal and distrusted by his clanmates. He allowed himself to mate Nightcloud, a foolish hopeful she-cat that was trying to get his attention, in the hopes that his Clan would trust him. It worked.
Nightcloud bore Crowfeather a kit. He wasn't happy at all. He felt even worse. Why couldn't this cat be Leafpool's son? He would have been overjoyed at the thought of having kits with his beloved medicine cat.
News came of Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw bearing three kits, and Tawnypelt finding love with Rowanclaw and also having kits, and Stormfur found Brook. They were cheerful. Why did they receive happiness, when all that Crowfeather got was pain?
All of this supposed happiness for the companions that journeyed with him to the sun-drown-place was faked, resulting in anger at his son Breezepaw. He was asked to travel to the mountains again, so he accepted, excited for a bare moment that he could sit over Feathertail's grave and remember the silvery cat's presence.
After the journey, he returned home and lived there in silence and half-peace with his half-mate and unfortunate son. Then, Squirrelflight's kits brought Crowfeather news that crushed the peace around the lake Crowfeather had imagined.
He was their father; and Leafpool was their mother.
At the same time he was filled with joy, he was filled with regret.
Why did he mate Leafpool?
Why couldn't he have known this earlier to watch them grow up?
Why did he mate Nightcloud?
His regret changed to anger.
This couldn't be.
Why couldn't they just go home and fib to another cat?
He sent them away, and returned home, and requested to go to the next Gathering. He could talk to Leafpool about this. Would this be true? If it was, why didn't she tell him sooner?
Nightcloud and Breezepelt attended the gathering as well, and they sat next to him as if they knew something was up.
Then Hollyleaf announced to all of the Clans that Leafpool was their mother, and Crowfeather was their father.
Crowfeather was outraged. Couldn't she have kept it secret until they could have organized this out? Why didn't her brothers stop the idiot she-cat?
So Crowfeather declared that he loved Nightcloud and his son and didn't care about Leafpool anymore. What a huge lie that was. What a delightful lie that everyone believed.
Leafpool said it was true, then left, never seen again.
Crowfeather was miserable. His unhappiness consumed the joy he once carried; it destroyed the spring in his steps; it vanquished the love he showed to those he cared about.
The pain was all that was left of the tom who requested to be named after the one he loved.
Just the sorrow.
The sweet moments of barely noticed joy when he dreamt of one he loved.