Heroes Across Time Abridged

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I would like to get a shout out to Adamswestlapdog from Youtube. A lot of the material here is based off his abridged series, so credit goes where credit is due. But of course with a female link it couldn't be all that much.

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Warning

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This will be far more perverted and violent. Meaning random Lemons, some small, swearing and violence. No one under 18 should be reading this.

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Naruto x Harem

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When the sun cast its first rays onto the land of Hyrule, the Great Deku Tree stirred. Having never rested before in its whole life, it was a strange sensation to actually wake up with the rest of the forest. Strange and very troublesome at the same time. But, then again, the Great Deku Tree knew why. The events of last night were still fresh in its mind and the Great Deku Tree knew that the Wheels of Fate had been set into motion.

All it could do now was help them move along more smoothly.

Knowing that its power, and its life, was both very limited, the Great Deku Tree knew it was time to play its part and set into motion the events that would help protect the land of Hyrule from the coming storm.

Using some of its power, the Great Deku tree called out to the forest.

''Navi . . . ."

The voice was aged and wise, filled with the very vibrating power of wisdom of times beyond memory. The voice resounded through the forest, but was carried along through the roots and between the branches of the tall forest trees, picked up and whisked along by the wind, and reached the one it was addressed to with immediate and urgent clarity: the fairy known as Navi.

The tiny sprite was dancing between the boughs, reveling in life just like every other creature in the Kokiri Forest, when the summons of the guardian spirit of the woods, the Great Deku Tree, reached her. She stopped in mid-flight, and wheeled on his urgent call; all the creatures of the forest sprang from the Deku Tree, and thus they all obeyed his ancient and benevolent will. Her tiny wings pumped as she flew through the woods, wheeling and twisting between branches and trunks, zeroing in on his call and arriving in moments, with only the speed one of her kind could manage.

"Great Deku Tree?' she answered as she flew into his clearing, understanding the urgency in his voice. Rising above the grassy soil by the height of a hundred and more Kokiri, the Great Deku Tree was vast, like a tremendous pillar supporting the entire forest. His branches stretched off into the trees surrounding the clearing, melding with them and providing a solid green and brown canopy above the place he resided.

"I'm here, Great Deku Tree," she said.

"Thou hast wasted no time, as always, dear Navi," the Deku Tree spoke, his words resounding across the clearing and into Navi's heart. He did not speak audibly, but his will was carried through the forest that he had protected since time immemorial, and was sent into the hearts and minds of those he chose to speak with.

"I felt . . . When you called me, I could feel something was wrong," the sprite replied, drifting closer to the Deku Tree's front, where the bark was shaped into what vaguely resembled the wizened expression of an ancient man.

"Thy instincts are correct, Navi," he responded. "I require thy aid, for this is a task I cannot entrust to any fairy but that one I trust the most. Do you not sense it? Do you not sense the climate of evil that is descending upon our Realm?"

Navi nodded. "Yes, Great Deku Tree, I have felt it."

"Then you know what is happening. For so long, the Kokiri Forest has stood as a barrier keeping evil from reaching our land of Hyrule. I believe that the time has come for the girl without a fairy to begin her journey. You must find her and guide her to me. Fly, Navi, fly! The fate of the forest, nay, the world, depends on her."

Navi didn't waist any time. She quickly flew towards Kokiri Village as fast as her wings would carry her. She flew through the entire village but only came across Kokiri children who already had fairy partners. She was getting ready to start her search over again, when she noticed something out of place.

All the homes that she had seen so far were very well kept. But one, however, looked like it had been left to fall apart. Upon closer inspection, she saw that the house had been abused. Pieces of bark were missing and there were words written everywhere on it but Navi couldn't make out what they said.

Deciding that she had come to the right place, Navi flew up to the door and went inside. Though what she wasn't expecting was for two blondes to get it on.

''Naruto!" The one cried out from below, definitely a Feminine voice. Her petite frame writhed under the blonde. His hands and lips nipped at her B-cup breasts.

''Lina!'' He cried out in ecstasy as there bodies kept on slapping together.

Navi fell to the ground and started twitching.

30 Minutes later after Navi recovered from her seizure.

''No way check it out…A light bulb with wings,'' Naruto said poking Navi with a stick.

''Naruto don't be a dumbass. It's obvious she's a pixie.''

''You're both wrong…give me that,'' Snatches stick away from Naruto. ''I'm a fairy you perverted dopes. What the hell do you think you two were doing?''

''Getting it on?'' Naruto asked with a hopeful smile as Navi Groaned. (See Adamwestlapdog abridged series.)

''Nevermind…the Great Deku Tree needs to see you…both of you.'' she noted as the two blondes shared a look.

''Why can't he come here?'' Naruto asked as he scratched the back of his head.

''You're kidding right?''

''Naruto the Great Deku Tree is a giant tree remember?'' Lina asked him as the blonde adorned a thoughtful look. Oh yeah…let's go.''

3 hours later.

''Great Deku tree were back,'' Navi announced.

''What took you guys so long? I sent you out nearly three hours ago.'' The Sage like and wisdom filled speech was gone.

''Well you see.''

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Flashback number 1

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''Dandahdandun!'' Naruto chimed as Lina opened a box, pulling out the Kokiri sword. ''You got the Kokiri sword.''

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Flashback number 2

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''Dandahdandun!'' Naruto chimed as Lina purchased a shield.

''You have acquired the Kokiri shield.

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Flashback end

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''Yeah he kept on doing that until I pulverized his spleen.'' Navi explained as Naruto rubbed his side.

''Yeah…I can taste my own blood…it doesn't taste like Rasberryaide…not at all.''

A crowd, nearly all the Kokiris had gathered.

''Okay seriously who caused the plague that's killing the forest now?'' Saria asked as she walked forward. This was like the third time this month the forest was dying. Her eyes took sight of Naruto and they softened. ''Hey there Naruto…nice day isn't it?''

''You mean besides the forest dying?'' he dryly remarked.

''Yeah that.''

Lina's eyes twitched as she grabbed Naruto possessively. Saria had Naruto all last week, friendship be damned. They agreed to share him but Saria was being an ass by always being kidnapped and such and taking up the 'blondes have more fun time' as it was called.

''Hum Hhmn!'' The Great Deku Tree cleared his throat.

''Right that…''

Enter Parasite Arachnid Gohma whom literally came out of fucking nowhere.

''Where's my Crack! Who stole my crack! I want my crack!'''

''I think not! I found it, it's mine.'' Naruto shouted, pulling out a katana and slashing one of Gohma's legs.

''Aaaaggggghhhh.'' The creature roared as it shot out a mass of web which Naruto jumped over.

''Aaaaaaahhhhhh!'' Saria yelled as the creature caught her with one of it's legs.

''Saria!''

''You have ten minutes to give me back my crack or the girl dies.''

''Naruto!'' She yelled as the creature pulled her into the Deku Tree using it's webbing.

''Oh hell! Saria's boned…I already smoked it last night..''

''Naruto what are you waiting for. Saria is in danger…always because I wished for this to happen when she cut into our fun time doesn't mean I really wanted for it to happen.

''Oh relax…Saria's in no danger…'' he confidently remarked and folded his arms.

''But how can you…''

''I stuck a bomb note on it's body during my attack. I did that shit with the quickness so no one noticed. ''

''Uum Naruto?''

''Yeah Lina?''

''So…what does that have to do with saving Saria?'' she asked as Naruto's eyes widened.

''Oh hell…I didn't think that far ahead.''

15 minutes later.''It's a good thing I know Necromancy.'' Naruto commented.

''Well done young ones…But it seems my life won't go back to normal after all.''

''W-What? No but we killed Gohma you just have to get better Great Deku Tree we need you.'' Linika said.

''Listen well Linika…As I was being eaten by Gohma I understood her intentions…She was under a spell herself…The one using this frighteningly evil power…Is a Dark King of the desert…His desire is to conquer Hyrule and make the Triforce his.''

''Triforce?'' She asked in confusion.

Naruto began explaining the thing he logically should have mentioned before. ''It is the sacred treasure forced by the three goddesses… Nayru the Goddess of Wisdom and Element is Water…Blue Exotic Hair, a freak in the seats and best ass of the three…Din the Goddess of Power who values Passion and Element is Fire, a saucy mouth that gives great blow jobs and the heftiest pair or tits and Farore the Goddess of Courage who values diligence and Element is Wind and oh boy…that Ass. Together their power created the Triforce an all powerful artifact that came create a reflection of the wielders desire. A pure hearted person can create a world of wonder while those of evil will create a world filled with unimaginable horrors and evil.''

''A horrible crisis is drawing near for Hyrule…that person must not touch the Triforce! However, with your courage surely you can kill his ambition…'' The GDK said.

''I…my dreams their of what to come aren't they? I can't do it… I can't fight someone so scary.''

''You aren't alone in this Linika…I came long ago in search of the Kokiri emerald to stop such a man…I'll be by your side every step of the way so you don't have to face such a person on your own…besides think of all the great new places we can screw!''

Oh Goddesses! Hyrule is Doomed! ''It is as he said…Never forget your own inner strength…Go out and venture into the world Linika…Now go to Hyrule castle and give the sacred stone of the forest to the Princess…The Kokiri Emerald.'' He said as the Kokiri emerald appeared in Linika's Hand. ''I …I believe in you…Please Linika.''

''Alright…I understand.''

''It's best that you make a shield out of my remains. It should protect you from very evil in your path…Navi, I ask of you to Assist Linika…Everyone, So Long.'' Insert Tearful goodbye.

At the Lost Woods Bridge none other then Saria was waiting for them.

''Oh, you're both leaving already.'' Saria said sadly.

''I'm afraid so Saria…I'm sorry...I should have told you two what I knew of sooner.'' Naruto guilty admitted.

''It's ok…promise me the both of you will return someday.''

''Of course.''

''It's a promise of a life time Saria.'' He said as he went over and hugged her. ''Take care of your self.'''

''I'' Sniff ''Will but before you guys go…I want you to have this Ocarina... Please take good care of it.'' She said handing to Linika. ''I only had one spare…''

''It's ok I understand…Why don't you teach us that song of yours before we go.''

''Sure,'' she agreed as it took them all but two minutes to go over the song.

''Now I have something else to leave you with Naruto,'' Saria said as she dropped on her knees.

''Helllll Yeaaaaah!"'

Lina scoffed and rolled her eyes…Typical. ''I'll show you how it's done!"' Lina said as she went over to join in.

Naruto felt at that moment he could die a happy man.

Navi only groaned and made comments about idiotic and perverted blonds.

''You'll get used to it,'' A fairy said flying up next to Navi.

''Hey…Aren't you Tatl?''

''Yep…and.''

''Who way to go Naruto! That's how you do it!'' A male fairy cheered from above.

''My Idiotic brother Tael…trust me…this is going to be a long journey.

At Hyrule Castle Princess Zelda stood on her bedroom balcony in her nightgown and watched as the sun set in sky. He though her body called for sleep the young princess didn't want to because of the dreams…the visions that would follow.

The images of dead bodies and a destroyed Hyrule was all too much. She could only hope that Naruto could find the one from her dreams and soon. Speaking of Naruto, her thoughts of him starting to become steamy. Then her hand started to find it's way up her dress.

Mean while- Hyrule Field a soft breeze blew across Hyrule Field. Tree limbs swayed and the grass bent slightly in the wind. To the west the sun began to set behind the mountains. The once blue sky was painted a beautiful multicolor of orange, purple and fiery red. As the sky grew darker the stars started to come out one by one, announcing that night was approaching fast and everyone should prepare themselves for bed.

Lina stood atop a small hill, her eyes wide with wonder at the scenery. Hyrule Castle could be seen in the distance and the smoking crown of Death Mountain slowly vanished into the approaching darkness.

"It's... beautiful," Lina whispered.

Navi nodded in agreement. "It is, isn't it?"

"I've always wondered how the sky would look during a sunset without a canopy of trees in the way. But... I never imagined something like this! I wish I could show this to Saria. She would love it."

"No doubt. It really is a shame she can't see it.''

''Well we could always draw her a picture,'' Naruto said as Tatl and Teal flew around his head. ''It'll take a day or so to get to castle town…we might as well start walking and find a good place to set camp,'' Naruto told them.

''Or we can go to that Ranch.'' Lina pointed out.

''Oh yeah…the farm girl lives there.''

''Farm girl?''

''Yeah…she's a nice girl…let's me Milk all I want.'' he said and didn't go on to explain anything.

''Huh?'' Lina titled her head in confusion. ''So you get free milk.''

''What? Oh no I mean she lets me play with her tits all I want. Those babies will grow into nice sized melons when she's older.''

''Damn is that all you do? Have sex?'' Navi asked in annoyance.

''Yeah pretty much.''

''Trust me dear…as long as it has Ass, Tits, Lips, and Breasts or otherwise a humanoid female creature with curves Naruto'll do it.''

''She ain't lying.''

At Lon Lon Ranch Naruto happily ran in with Lina close behind.

''Hey Malon I'm back and I brought a friend.'' he said as he ushered the blonde over to meet the cute red-haired farm girl.

''Oh hello I'm Malon and this is Epona and you are?''

''Just call me Lina...'' the blonde introduced herself as she sized up the competition.

''So what are you guys doing here?''

''We came to rest…That and see if your father is and to see if he can take us into town.''

''I'm afraid you just missed him he should be back by morning.''

''Aaw crap…Oh well looks like were stuck here for the day…Hey there Epona'' rubs Epona's Mane. ''I was thinking about something…About that song you told me about could you teach us. We currently only know one song and they say music passes the time.''

''Ok…''

A Day Later. ''That Ingo guy needs to remove the stick from his ass…Hard working or not it's no reason to be rude.'' Naruto said wile drinking tea.

''It's been hours since my dad has left…Could I ask you two a favor and go with me into Hyrule. I'm afraid I might not make it in time before nightfall and those strange skull creatures dad talk about might get me.''

''You can count on us Malon.''

''What she said.''

''Thank you…both of you.''

''But before that…I need two hours to um…get my gear ready,'' Shot a look towards Lina.

''I um…me too.''

''We'll be back,'' The two chimed as they went to the barn. The animals all started to panic from the strange albeit familiar noise which resembled there own calls in a way.