Title: Before Morning
Originally written and posted 5/16/08 for 50_lovequotes, Theme 08 - "I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special." for 50_lovequotes
Warnings: Sexual yaoi situation
Spoilers: Yami's real name
Summary: He should have stopped him, but this was one night they couldn't face alone.
"Mou hitori no boku?"
Atemu turned, startled. "Aibou, what are you doing in here?"
"I need to talk to you."
"Why?" He took a step closer in concern, but stopped when Yugi flinched and moved backwards away from him. "…Aibou?"
"I…shouldn't be here…" he mumbled, turning. "I'm sorry mou hitori no boku…forget what I just said–"
He stiffened, staring at the floor. "You said my name."
"And you have not said mine. I am not the 'other you' anymore."
Yugi hesitated. "I don't want to call you Atemu."
"What?" He reached out, fingers brushing his partner's shoulder. "Aibou, why not?"
"Because…that means you don't need me anymore."
"What?!" His grip tightened, but Yugi pulled away.
"You have your memories…you have your name…and then when morning comes…I have to…make you leave." He shook, swallowing hard, words tumbling from him before he could force strength back upon himself. "If you didn't have your name, you wouldn't have to leave!"
"Oh Aibou…" Atemu whispered, reaching for him again. This time Yugi didn't move.
"It isn't fair."
"Aibou–" Atemu pulled him to his chest, holding him helplessly. Yugi's fingers curled over folds in his clothes.
"Don't leave," he whispered. "Refuse to leave."
"I cannot promise–"
"Don't leave!" Yugi's hands clenched, yanking him forward, pressing his lips desperately against Atemu's.
"Yu…Yugi…!" Feebly he tried to pull his head away, even as his body lost every bit of fight. "We…" 'We shouldn't' is what I should have said.
'We shouldn't' is what I should have said.
"I love you," Yugi whispered against him. "I love you…too much…"
Unconsciously Atemu raised his arms, hands stroking and burying in Yugi's hair, breathing heavily. "I thought we…would never discuss this."
"That was unspoken…we never agreed…"
"So you…want to discuss it now?" he asked in disbelief, wondering how they were supposed to have a calm, civil conversation about their unspoken feelings with Yugi's lips less than an inch away.
"No, I don't want to discuss it."
"Then…what…do you want?"
"To forget," Yugi murmured, eyes growing wet. "Just…make me forget about tomorrow…so that when you're gone…I will have no regrets."
Instantly he was silenced as Yugi wrapped his arms around him and kissed him again. Atemu couldn't stop himself this time, and turned his head, kissing him back as his fingers tangled deeper in his hair. I should have told him to go back to his own soul room.
I should have told him to go back to his own soul room.
"Mou hitori no…boku…" Yugi moaned as Atemu moved, his lips finding his neck and earlobe, nipping gently. He began tugging at Atemu's jacket, trembling as Atemu's tongue flicked over the tender skin of his throat. The second the kiss began I should have stopped him and told him we couldn't do this.
The second the kiss began I should have stopped him and told him we couldn't do this.
Releasing him and shrugging the jacket the rest of the way off, it was easy to pull away Yugi's own coat. Yugi pulled him down, and Atemu came to rest on his back, knees bent and head on the fabric, softening the fall as Yugi knelt over him.
Yugi's hands sought Atemu's, and as their fingers interlaced he felt his tears escape.
"Mou hitori no boku," he whispered, gripping his hand harder as droplets splashed down on Atemu's skin.
Eyes opening at the sudden wetness, he stared up into Yugi's tear-stained face. His lips parted, but Yugi bent his head, claiming them before Atemu could speak. One of his hands now on his chest, his fingers trailed down him as Atemu murmured and his eyes slowly fluttered closed again. Somewhere nearby he could hear their hearts pounding. He wrapped his arms around Yugi to pull him closer, hands slipping under his shirt. But how could I tell him no? When I have loved him for so long…
But how could I tell him no? When I have loved him for so long…
The touch of Atemu's fingers elicited a small cry that Yugi couldn't hold back. The tears fell harder, and he was no longer even sure if he was crying because of the future or the present.
Desperate, wanting, he reached for the hem of Atemu's shirt, ripping it away just as Atemu pulled at his, the both of them a sudden tangle of arms and legs. Clutching at each other in a half-frantic struggle and half-hopeless embrace until the last bit of fabric was pulled away and both lay bare upon the cold floor, panting and clinging.
Entwined, Atemu felt his eyes sting. I cannot let him see me cry.
I cannot let him see me cry.
Yugi's hands ran down his body, caressing. Atemu's back arched, a moan escaping his lips. His fingers slid across Yugi's shoulders, damp with sweat, tracing down his spine.
All they would ever have…a lifetime's worth of emotions, but only this one short night.
The stinging in his eyes grew into a stinging in his heart, until he was biting his lip hard enough to taste blood, yet it didn't stop. It only increased, until he had his face buried into Yugi's chest, shaking, fighting a scream of frustration and anger that threatened to burst out. He could no longer keep himself from crying, but it didn't matter. He could barely tell whose arms and hands were whose anymore, Yugi would never notice extra tears. Better that the tears come now, when he won't think of them.
Better that the tears come now, when he won't think of them.
As their mouths found each other again, bodies twisting, Atemu could sense in the kiss that Yugi was using it to say everything that was too painful to voice. His eyes squeezed shut, his hands on Yugi's curved hips, legs intertwined, and he tried to send the feelings back.
They still had a few hours, but he knew that Yugi was trying to say good-bye. Better that we say it now, in a final happy memory.
Better that we say it now, in a final happy memory.
"Aibou…I love you…" he breathed, head thrown back. One of Yugi's hands snuck into his, clinging to his fingers. He closed his hand over his tightly, not letting go. So that we will have no regrets.
So that we will have no regrets.
"Mou hitori no boku…I love you…too…" So that in the morning…
So that in the morning…
"Aibou…Aibou…" I will not cry.
I will not cry.
Notes: The obligatory sleeping-together-before-the-Ceremonial-Battle-fic. Cliché, I know, but a Puzzleshippy fanfic writer's portfolio would be rather incomplete without one – or a few. x3
The only clarification I want to make is when they were mentioning "discussing their feelings," that has to do with my personal belief that in the show/manga they both knew they loved each other, but, knowing the future, chose to never acknowledge it because that would make good-bye even harder. This fic, obviously, is a different version of that.