Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, heck, I don't even own a car, I'm 13 for heaven sakes, do you even have to ask?
A/N: HIYA! I know I'm supposed to be writing Stand in the Rain, but I'll write another chapter after I do this, this is just a drabble because I've had requests for more Crazy Cullen's! These are branches off of Crazy and Crazy Returns, you don't have to read these for this to make sense, but you can if you want. (some random time post Eclipse)
I was sitting on the living room couch with Alice, she was drinking a cup of the blood Carlisle brought home from the donations. Esme was sitting on the daybed, reading and drinking also. Alice suddenly let out a loud cheer, which made me jump half a foot.
"OH MY GOD, THAT WAS
NOT A FOWL!" she screamed at the TV, I turned and saw celeberity
wrestling was on, and Hilary Duff and Katy Perry were facing off.
"Um, Alice calm down, it's just a game." I said, she turned to me with a scary look.
"It is not just a frickin' game Jazzy-Poo." she said through clenched teeth.
"Did you just call me Jazzy-Poo?" I asked, she nodded like a little girl. "Uh-huh."
"Why?" I asked, she smiled and plopped her tiny body down into my lap.
"Because, you're my Jazzy-Poo, and you will be forever my Jazzy-Poo, So I will call you Jazzy-Poo." she said, I really don't get her logic, but whatever.
"OMG!" she sqeauled jumping off me.
"What?" I asked.
"Look at that thingy on the light going, around, and around, and around, andaround, and around!" she said jumping up and down while pointing upwards to the light.
"You mean the ceiling fan babe?" I asked.
"OOOOH! Ya!" she said in an amazed tone. Esme walked over and looked up to where Alice was still pointing.
"Oh, wow." she said in a amazed tone quieter than Alice's.
"What?" I asked.
"The light... it's pretty." she said in the same tone as before. Oh no, not her to. What was wrong with them?
Alice gasped loudly, gaping her mouth. "What?" I asked.
"My name is reeeeeeally long." she said tilting her head. I raised my eyebrow.
"Mary Alice Brandon Whitlock Hale Cullen." she said, I nodded.
"Uh-Huh, I see that your name is long." I said followed by a nervous laugh, it was scary being the only sane person in the room. Alice accidently knocked over Esme's favorite vase. Here comes the groundation. Esme laughed hysterically. What the hell? Usually when someone broke her vases she had a screaming tantrum, and we had to force her into her happy place.
"What so funny?" I asked.
"Alice..(laugh).. Broke my.. (laugh).. VASE.. (hysterics)." she choked out what she had said between laugh that were so earpiercing I thought I might have to leave the room.
"Shouldn't be mad?" I asked, she shook her head.
"No dear." she said, she walked over to a table and knocked her vase over, it shattered. She laughed so hard I thought she might actually tear up, if it was possible.
Alice picked up my steel baseball bat and smashed her glass end-table. Esme toppled over.
"What in God's name is wrong with y'all?" I yelled over their laughter, they were presently breaking vases and glass kniknacks, and anything they could shatter.
"I feel happy, and wonderful, and sweet, pretty." Esme gushed, Rosalie walked in.
"Oh my God! What happened? Why are you laughing?" Rosalie asked so fast a human wouldn't even hear it.
"They are nuts." I said, Esme took the bat from Alice and whapped her upside the head with it. Alice laughed, took the bat and mimicked her. Esme had the same reaction. Rosalie and I were both horrified as the day is long.
Alice suddenly ran out Esme put a giant hole in the wall, and laughed a maniacal laugh that actually scared me. Rose backed up a little.
Alice came back in holding a vampire bat, she held it up to Rose who backed away.
"Rosalie! I found your cousin, Louie!" she enthused, Rosalie's eye twitched.
"We. . Relation. To. Bats." she said through clenched teeth. One thing Rosalie hates, being compared to filthy bats who live in their own poop.
"Yes you do. No wait. A bitch is a dog. You related to Leah and Jacob. Congrats." Alice said, Rosalie took a deep breath, and threw the bat out.
"Mary Alice Branon Whitlock Hale Cullen, I swear I hate you." Rosalie said, Alice gave the prettiest smile.
"Aw, I hate you to." Alice enthused, Rosalie growled.
"Don't growl at me Rose. What were you raised in La Push?" she asked, I snickered, I had to admit that was a good one.
"I WAS NOT!" Rose screamed, Alice's eyes went out of focus as she glimpsed into the future.
Alice smiled evilly at Rose.
"What?" Rosalie asked.
"You're going to have another mental breakdown." she said, Rosalie gasped.
" I am Not!" she exclaimed.
"Yes you are." Alice sing-songed.
"No, I can't have another breakdown." Rose said, she started hyperventalating.
"No... No.." Rose said as she rocked back and forth in a corner.
"OMG! I am making her have a mental breakdown about not having a mental breakdown!" Alice exclaimed laughing, Esme threw her head back in hysterics. I hope this ended soon.
An hour later Alice and Esme suddenly got a grip pn reality. They looked at eachother rubbing their heads. "What happened." Alice asked groggily.
"Something was wrong with the blood you were drinking I guess and you two went loco." I said, Esme turned her head and saw her living room which had shattered glass everywhere.
"My family room." she said in an impossibly tearful voice.
"Happy place, happy place, happy place." I said quickly, she sniffed.
Esme closed her eyes, and let out a sigh of relief. "Better Homes and Gardens." she sung.
I sighed, Alice looked up at me. "What's wrong with Rosalie?" she asked.
"Oh, uh, she's having a mental breakdown about not having a mental breakdown." I told her, she noddded. "Oh." is all she said.
A/N: OK! I hope you enjoyed that, I had a request for crazy Esme. If you have any requests for a person to go crazy I can do anyone, except Edward and Jasper. I just can't imagine them being that loco as Jasper would say. So PM me or review and tell me what you think, I'm open for suggestions, thank you! Btw, please check out my other story Stand in the Rain.