Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers or any of the characters, Hasbro & Paramount Pictures does.

The song He Is Not One of Us belongs to Walt Disney Feature Animation. The ideas of carrying and carrying holds as used in this story belong to Litahatchee. I am referencing these ideas from her story, Night Fire. It's excellent and a must read for anyone who may be interested in the story behind Ironhide and Chromia. And a huge thanks to MoonstarWorld for all of the help and inspiration she has given me for this story. Thank you.

Okay, the site has deleted this chapter twice on me in the last few hours. Let's try this again.

New Divide - Chapter II

The rubble of what was left of the Witwicky family yard was not a very pleasant sight to behold for any person, be they human or alien alike. Not only was the garage and most of the yard pretty much destroyed, but a decent portion of the back of the house was in shambles as well. It was really was no surprise that Judy was racing around the small estate in an exasperated huff, surveying the damage that had been done to her home and her precious bushes. And it was due in part to the incensed woman why the Cybertronian alien who lived in their garage had chosen to flee while the getting was good and because his human charge would be departing for college on the eastern coast in just a few short hours.

Bumblebee had never felt so frustrated before in his life. He did what he could to protect Sam and his family and all he got out of it was a solid scolding. He felt more like an ornery youngling than a great savior at the moment. The only comfort he had now was a blaring radio which seemed to enjoy taunting him too.


The cool wind of the Great Plains did not even do much to calm down his frayed and frustrated nervous system. Sam had become a great friend to Bumblebee over the past two Earth years and the sudden lack of his friendly presence was something that the mech would not accept. And that was why he was currently driving on the quickest route to the eastern coast of America. Yet another rejection was not something that Bumblebee could handle right now.


It was a fact that Bumblebee was not at all proud of, especially since he had spent countless vorns preparing for the emotional isolation that came along with his profession as an Autobot scout. However, emotional isolation did not even begin to describe the pain that he had been enduring over the vorns. The young mech's spark had been deteriorating for a long time now due to bond neglect, but Bumblebee had been able to handle the pain without complaint until...

Evil as plain as the scar on his face.

The death of his darker brother.


It was like a switch had suddenly been thrown in the youngling's frame and a vast emptiness had completely enveloped his tender spark. And the pain had only continued to grow as time passed. It was just so fragging frustrating and there were many times when Bumblebee felt like he was going to blow a gasket from all of the pent-up emotion inside his small frame. And now seemed to be one of those times, because Bumblebee seriously did not want to acknowledge what the liquid that was leaking out of what would normally be an anti-freeze container was and why he suddenly could not contain all of these trying feelings that he had managed to hide for so long.

An outrage!

Primus, he was acting just like a pathetic sparkling, but Bumblebee really did not care at this point. He was just so slagging tired of being rejected and ignored all the time! Was he really that unlovable that no one wanted to be around him?

He can't change his stripes!

The thought hit closer to home more than he was willing admit, mostly because he still did not want to face the fact that Optimus and the others had left him for death at the hands of Sector Seven. Primus, even Ironhide had left him! Perhaps he was nothing to the other Autobots, except an irritating hindrance or sparking wire in their sides. After all, it was not like Bumblebee was really good for anything besides spying and the occasional reconnaissance. Aside from that, he was pretty much useless on the battlefield, as he had demonstrated in Mission City when his legs had been blown off by a slagging stupid act of idiocy on his part.


It was truly no wonder Optimus had never once asked Bumblebee to accompany NEST on any of their missions. He knew that the youngling would just screw the mission up anyways.

For shame!

The normally good-natured youngling revved in frustration, overwhelmed by all of the different feelings he was experiencing at this point. Bumblebee rarely ever allowed the pain in his spark to outwardly show, fearful of the questions that the older mechs may ask or what conclusions they may draw from them. The only person he had ever remotely mentioned his relationship with Megatron to had been his guardian, who had in turn made an obvious effort never to bring up the topic ever again. Bumblebee knew better than just about anyone else in the universe just how much Ironhide despised Megatron. And it was this intense hatred which kept Bumblebees vocal capacitors firmly shut whenever anyone spoke of the Decepticon Lord.

You know these outsider types!

Bumblebee feared Ironhide's rejection more than anything else in the universe.

He asked for trouble the moment he came!

He had already experienced Optimus's on numerous occasions when he had been reaching out through his spark for comfort, the pain of the bond rejection very nearly too much for the laid-back youngling to take at times. Ironhide, on the other hand, had never once turned Bumblebee away. Despite the fact that they could not feel each other's sparks through their bond, Ironhide had always used other means to comfort his youngling to the best of his abilities. Bumblebee was a very physical youngling by Cybertronian standards, always seeking some form of physical comfort from his caretakers even when everything was fine. Ironhide had accepted this quirk of his personality early on in his sparklinghood and was always affectionate with Bumblebee when the situation called for it.

See you later, agitator!

Ironhide had always been Bumblebees first line of defense from everything, an almighty force of nature and deadly cannons that could strike fear into the sparks of even the most ferocious Decepticons. The mere thought of that ferocity suddenly being turned on him was enough to make Bumblebee tremble with fright. He had never feared Ironhide before in his life, but that was before his connection with Megatron had been revealed by the All-Spark. Ironhide despised Decepticons so much that it would not be implausible at all if he disowned Bumblebee upon learning of just how deep his connection and feelings ran towards Megatron.


It wasn't like Bumblebee was truly Ironhide's youngling anyways. He was just an abandoned orphan who nobody really knew what to do with and Ironhide had just happened to be the first to break down and offer to care for the homeless sparkling. And someone who wasn't a youngling's true creator could get rid of it whenever they wanted, right? It wasnt like they were under any obligation to keep something that they did not create in the first place. Or at least that was how Bumblebee rationalized it, since he had never been able to find any data on such a situation in the archives. It almost seemed like he was the first orphaned sparkling in history, which could not possibly be true. Maybe he just hadn't looked in the right places.

An outrage!

His guardian was one of the Autobot's most ruthless warriors, so why in the Pit would someone like him want to deal with a puny and physically demanding youngling when he could instead be out ripping off Decepticon heads? Ironhide was easily one of the Autobot's most skilled fighters, so it was entirely plausible that he could go anywhere he wanted in the universe if he simply requested the right mission. But instead of doing this, he was saddled down with a needy youngling whom he never left behind for more than a handful of orns. Well, until the All-Spark mission, that is. But Ironhide had volunteered for that mission as well.

Just leave us alone!

Ironhide, the most violent and petulant of Autobot warriors, had practically sacrificed everything he loved and enjoyed to care for an under-sized youngling who still wouldn't come of age for many, many more vorns. What warrior wanted to play baby-sitter instead of destructor? It just didn't make any sense...


A sharp pain shot through Bumblebee's spark yet again, but he did his best to just ignore it and continue on past the Missouri state line. The pain had gradually been getting worse over the past few months, although it had been most acute after Megatron's death. Bumblebee hoped that it would eventually go away entirely, especially since he did not want Optimus or that other presence inside his leader's presence, that soothing warm one that he hadn't felt for a few vorns now, to sense his distress. Bumblebee was certain that the other presence he felt in Optimus's spark on rare occasions was a femme, something he was able to conclude mostly due to the bond feeling so vastly different than the ones he shared with the faction leaders.

For shame!

And if that warm bond was truly a femme, then Bumblebee had absolutely no right to disturb or upset her with his petty little problems. He needed to handle this alone. It was his burden to bear, not anybody else's and Bumblebee did not want any of the other Autobots to concern themselves with him anymore. Primus knew that they had enough on their plates already, the very last thing they needed was to deal with him right now. It did not matter whether or not he was still a youngling, all that mattered was that Bumblebee should be able to handle his problems by himself.

Traitor, go back with your own!

The youngling frowned slightly as he remembered some of the times Ironhide had become frustrated with the many different demands of a youngling. Not to mention Bumblebee's rather notorious tendency to sneak off, something that many of the older Autobots described as not being the normal behavior of any youngling they had ever encountered before in all of their vorns. Mirage had tried to assuage their worries numerous times, arguing that it was simply in Bumblebee's spy-centered programming to want to explore or sneak out from under the optics of his caretakers. Unfortunately, his spy mentor's explanations did little to pacify Ironhide or Optimus the few times Bumblebee had been caught copying data out of Artemis's mainframe or pilfering their battle strategies.

He asked for trouble the moment he came!

Even back then he could never seem to do anything right. All he ever seemed to do was make the adults mad at him. Or distrust him.

See you later, agitator!

Bumblebee much preferred the former, which never lasted more than a few orns and did not involve a plethora of frowns or disappointed optics. Primus, the disappointed optics were always by far the worst. He liked to think that he was a fairly thick-armored young mech, but the mere thought of Optimus or Ironhide looking at him with optics full of rejection and hate...

Born in grief, raised in hate...

It was enough to make his spark hammer with abject and horrifying fear, mainly because Optimus and Ironhide were the most important beings in Bumblebee's life. He had come to include Sam and Mikaela in that little circle as well, but it was unequivocally Optimus and Ironhide who held the strongest spots in his life. He truly could not remember even one moment in his life where either of the two were not there to comfort him, whether it be in body or spirit. They had both just always been there; or if they hadn't, they had sure tried their damnedest to get to him.

Helpless to defy his fate...

Until Earth and Sector Seven, that is...

Let him run, let him live...

Perhaps they suspected something on his part, a disloyalty of some sort due to his connection with Megatron. That was the only explanation for why they had been treating him with such disregard over the past few...what did humans call it...Oh, yes, years. He could not think of any other reason. And Primus knew that Optimus had every reason to suspect such a thing due to Bumblebee being a spy. There was a reason that most people did not wholly trust spies and that was because they were rather well-known for flipping sides at their own convenience. Optimus knew about Bumblebee's bond with Megatron and it was fairly clear that Ironhide at least very highly suspected such a connection as well, so perhaps the pair of them had decided that Bumblebee was no longer un-biased enough to be privy to crucial Autobot information?

But do not forget what we cannot forgive!

The fact that Bumblebee was related to Megatron just made his loyalty even more suspect than it already was because of his occupational programming. Maybe that was the reason why Ironhide had always seemed rather displeased by Bumblebee's chosen career, even when he saw that Bumblebee really enjoyed Mirage's tutelage. True, the aristocratic mech had Optimus's full trust, but he had earned it over the vorns. What had Bumblebee done besides get his voice capacitor ripped out by a mech that was notorious for viciously attacking anything that moved or talked back? Or get himself kidnapped by Megatron in his younger vorns; thus, causing considerable trouble for the Autobots?

And he is not one of us!

Nothing. Absolutely, fragging nothing.

He has never been one of us!

Megatron would never have even known where the Autobots were a number times if it hadn't for Bumblebee's presence. All he had ever done was compromise their trust by sneaking around the ship and causing unnecessary trouble for everyone. But he just couldn't stop himself! It was like some kind of addiction, his sneaky tendencies. Blowing stuff up just did not give him the same kind of thrill as pilfering a data pad of battle strategies did, the same type of rush just was not there. Bumblebee knew that Ironhide loved the thrill of the fight and literally reveled in vast destruction that his monstrous cannons produced, but that kind of thing just didn't excite him.

He is not part of us!

It actually kind of scared him. Not that he would ever admit it.

Not of our kind!

Bumblebee's passion came in discovering the universe around him. He loved to explore his surroundings, something that he had demonstrated at a very early age. None of Autobots except for Mirage and Depthcharge, the latter of whom he very rarely saw as the vorns passed due to high-risk missions, truly understood the overwhelming feelings that he experienced when exploring unknown locations and documenting as much as possible about everything around him. Even some of the other intelligence-based Autobots were startled by his tendencies to sneak away without a moment's notice, which made getting them on his side nearly impossible in most situations.

Someone once lied to us!

The only Autobots who truly understood how Bumblebee felt were the spies, who were far and in between these vorns. He preferred not to think about all of the spies that the Decepticons boasted: Soundwave, Laserbeak, Buzzsaw, Spectro, Flamewar, Spyglass, Viewfinder, Ravage, Nightflight, Dirt Rocket, and Reflector. And those were just the few with confirmed spy-designations that Bumblebee himself was aware of, which meant that his list did not include those who were capable of spying, even if such an occupation was not a part of their innate programming.

Now we're not so blind!

Bumblebee could not help that he liked to spy on other mechs in his spare time. It was something that just...happened most of the time. It was more often than not a spur of the moment kind of thing, which was why he tended to get caught by the adults. Whenever he seriously planned to spy on someone, he planned it all in such a way that it was basically impossible for him to get caught. He would have back-up plans for his back-up plans, an important strategy of spying that Mirage had taught him.

For we knew he would do what he's done!

In all truth, he had never really thought too much about these things before, or at least he hadn't until Megatron's death. There had been a few times when they may have ghosted through his CPU, but such thoughts had never lingered long enough to upset him or cause him to question the adults around him. Bumblebee figured that his complete lack of knowledge regarding his true relation to the Decepticon Lord was why these things had never before bothered him.

And we know that he'll never be one of us!

Primus, his CPU was seriously beginning to hurt from all of these thoughts.


He really wished Sam or Mikaela were here so that he could talk to them. Even if they were not Cybertronians, the two young humans always worked their hardest to try to understand the culture of their alien friends and had been extremely supportive whenever the yellow mech wished to talk. Bumblebee suspected that the two humans suspected that something had been not quite right with him for the past few weeks. Even with all of the college drama and packing, Sam had been acting...strange as of late, asking perhaps too many questions about things that he should not be concerned with; and Mikaela had been doing it as well, even if she tried to be more discreet about it.


Bumblebee honestly did not understand why they were so concerned about him, it was not like he couldn't take of himself. He had been taking care of himself for numerous vorns now.


The two humans did not know about his ability to sense Megatron. No one except Optimus and Ironhide knew about that particular connection, even though Bumblebee did not know how much either knew exactly on the subject. Ironhide simply knew that there existed a moderately significant bond of some sort between the Decepticon Lord and his adopted youngling, but there was no telling how much Optimus truly knew, which greatly unnerved the young mech. He did not know where he stood with either of them anymore, and it was really beginning to hurt his spark.


He wanted to talk to someone so badly about everything; but Bumblebee also knew that he shouldn't, that he should handle his own problems. Sam always enjoyed pointing out to him that, by Cybertronian standards, Bumblebee was quite a bit younger than Mikaela and himself. Just barely into the equivelant of Earth's teenage years, in fact. Ironhide had found this comparison to be extremely amusing, eagerly explaining just how young Bumblebee was and how he still had a long time before coming of age. But that didn't matter, he had to take of himself.


Primus, why did everything have to be so confusing?


Why couldn't he just be normal? Why did he have to be related to the worst mass-murderer in the history of the Cybertronian race? Why did Optimus ruthlessly ignore him every Pit-fragging time he reached out to him across their bond? Why was he not allowed to feel the other bond, the one that was likely a femme? Why couldn't he have been born to Ironhide, preventing all of this horrible pain and confusion that was brutally ripping his spark apart? Why did the thought of Megatron dying have to hurt him so much? What did he have to do to make this terrifying pain go away?


With a watery sigh through his vents and a discreet flick of his windshield wipers, Bumblebee angrily flipped off his radio. He didn't really feel like listening to music right now anyways.

Yes, my readers, I am actually alive and kicking. Yes, it surprises me too. It's amazing how much graduate/doctoral programs can completely take over your entire life. And I'm not even halfway done with mine! Dear God, I don't know whether to cry or throw a temper tantrum at that painful thought. But aside from that, I'm alive! And Bumblebee is really angsty, I know, but that angsty-ness is essential. He pretty much thinks his adoptive father (Ironhide) and the other Autobots are going to kick him to the curb. That'd make me angsty too. So just bear with me for now and I'm sorry if it's not very enjoyable yet.

I purposely made this chapter rather non-linear and bizarre in composition compared to ones in my other stories because I wanted to portray Bumblebee's thoughts and feelings, which are extremely jumbled and erratic at the moment. This will be the only chapter without dialogue, mostly because I like to write dialogue. And I thought the little song was pretty good at summing up how Bumblebee feels right now.

As for the next chapter, I will give you a few hints since I already got most of it written and I've made you guys wait so long: it will be from Sam and Mikaela's point-of-view, angsty Bumblebee has been tattled on, and a certain grumpy mech will fly into overprotective mode. And as I've said before, any and all suggestions are welcome! Thanks for reading!