Age of Edward Contest
Title: The Golden Years
Your pen name: Babette
Type of Edward: 1990's Viagraward

Please don't take this entry too seriously! I told Getshorty this idea, and she thought it was funny. I just couldn't resist. You'll now get to see my warped sense of humor.

I seriously doubt Stephenie Meyer ever envisioned her Edward and Bella like this.


I woke up in pain. That wasn't all that unusual; I am fifty-three years old after all. My hip ached, my back ached, and I knew that as soon as I climbed out of bed that my knee would probably ache too. Oh well. I remember my father telling me that pain was what let us know when we woke up that we hadn't died during the night. I would just take some ibuprofen, along with my heart medication, blood-pressure medication, and arthritis medication. Damn pills anyway. I guess I should be thankful for them but I really hated taking so many every morning.

I slipped on my new trifocals and looked over to see her still sleeping next to me. I had to tilt my head up and down to try to figure out what part of the lens to look through so she would be in focus. I finally settled on the middle lens and realized she was more beautiful to me today than she was thirty years ago; the day I married her. Granted, her hair was shot through with gray, her hips were probably twice as big as they were then thanks to the three children she bore, and her sleeping clothes were no longer lacy black lingerie but a cotton shapeless wonder that did little for the libido, but I loved her all the more. Not that my libido was doing all that hot anyway. Viagra had been invented recently, and thanks to my enlarged prostate, I had gotten a prescription a week earlier after I picked up my glasses. Another damn pill, but at least this one would have a good side-effect. At least I hoped.

Our youngest child, Mary, named for my sister Mary Alice, bounded into the room. She was well named, for she acted much like her aunt did at the same age. She has boundless energy and enthusiasm. We were moving her into her dorm today, as she was starting college in a week. She wanted to get set up early so she could meet new friends and learn the lay of the campus. She had her mother's mahogany hair and my green eyes, and I had asked Charlie if he could teach me how to shoot when she turned sixteen. He had laughed at me and told me that now I understood what he had thought of me. Her older sister hadn't been a problem; she was more of a bookworm like her mom. Vanessa was married and expecting her second child soon. I didn't mind being a grandpa, but the idea that I was old enough to be sleeping with a grandma, and her not being a cougar, was weird.

Mary bounced over when she saw I was awake and kissed me on my cheek. "Good morning, daddy! Are you ready to go? The car's all packed, and my room is cleaned up. Is mom awake yet?" She reached over to stroke her mother's arm and continued without a breath, "Mom, are you awake? Let's get going! It's going to be so cool!" Yep, we named her well.

Bella woke up with a smile at her youngest. I knew this was going to be hard on her, having an empty nest. I was thrilled at the idea and hoped the Viagra worked as well as advertised and planned to use it tonight. Bella stretched and groaned at her own aches and pains. Getting old sucked, but at least it was better than the alternative. She sat up, leaned over to kiss me on my cheek and whispered, "Happy anniversary, darling."

"You two are so gross!" Mary complained. "None of my friends have to put up with watching their parents make out in front of them."

"Maybe you should leave our bedroom, then," I countered with a laugh. "It is our anniversary. Did you think about what we might want to do something other than moving your skinny butt out this morning?"

"Dad, that's just sick. Now get up and let's go!" Bella and I chuckled at her excitement and allowed her to pull us up. I headed into the shower while Bella went to make breakfast and set up my pills for me. She had one of those pill holders that all I had to do was empty out that day's pills to make sure I took the right ones at the right time. I hadn't told her about the Viagra, wouldn't want her to know that just looking at her didn't do it for me as much anymore. It wasn't from lack of desire. The desire was definitely still there, but where the spirit was more than willing, the flesh had become weak. Sometimes it was like I was a teenager again, only instead of sex not lasting long because of my inability to keep back an orgasm, now I just couldn't keep it up as long. Not to mention that I was just plain worn out after sex. Good grief, sometimes I was worn out during sex.

After my shower I went out to eat my breakfast as Bella went in to take her own shower. Mary was cleaning up the kitchen, not wanting anything to hinder us from leaving. I was going to miss having her around, I guessed. Now I would be expected to pitch in more around the house without any child to yell to in order to get out of it.

I pocketed the pill bottle of Viagra before climbing into the car. We had hitched a small trailer to it and pulled all of Mary's belongings, well, the ones she still wanted, along behind us. It was a couple hours drive to campus, and she kept us entertained the entire way. I frequently reached over to take Bella's hand as we drove, stealing glances at her when traffic allowed. I really was a lucky man. I had a good-paying job, had developed and sold a piece of software that would pay for our retirement and anything we might want to do in it, three beautiful, intelligent children, thanks to this woman, and a happy future ahead of me. I had lived a good life so far, and this little bottle was promising a very happy anniversary indeed.

We spent many hours setting up Mary's room in her dorm. She wanted all the furniture rearranged, and her roommate thought her ideas "bitchin'", so Bella and I bent our backs to the task. We also helped her unload and unpack all her stuff. Well, at least Bella did. I spent a good amount of time glaring at the boys who seemed to take interest in the girls in this dorm. I swear I met Mike Newton's son, or at least some boy I was sure could be him based on the way he looked and acted. I didn't pay attention to his name. All I cared about was that whenever he looked at my daughter he trembled in fear over thoughts of me.

I took a nap on Mary's bed as Bella took the girls out for groceries and accessories for their room. Sleep was the only thing that seemed to come easier with age. I must have really zonked out, because they were back in no time at all. Mary's dorm had a small kitchenette, and so Bella wanted to be sure it was fully stocked with healthy food. I just snorted at that, knowing it would only hold ramen and cereal by the end of the month. I knew Bella had eaten cookie dough for dinner a few times in college, and would be surprised if Mary didn't do the same.

I groaned when they woke me up from my nap with the noise they were making unloading everything. Bella kept trying to shush the girls, but they were like girls everywhere and couldn't contain their giddiness. I would be glad when they declared the place perfect, and Bella and I could go home.

Well, not home really. Since we were in Seattle, I had decided to take Bella out for a nice dinner and a stay in the Hilton. I didn't want to risk falling asleep at the wheel driving home after dinner, and I knew Bella would appreciate not having to cook and clean when we got home. I had made reservations for 5 pm for our dinner. Eating too late made me have gas during the night. Not a sexy thing on your anniversary so I wanted to avoid it.

I groaned as I reached for my shoes and put them on. "You know daddy, if you just went to the gym you might lose that belly of yours, and it would be easier for you to put on your shoes," Mary quipped.

"Blame it on your mother. I just enjoy her cooking too much. Besides, this is my happy fat. You wouldn't want me to lose that would you?" I always patted my stomach whenever my kids teased me about how it looked like I was pregnant with my belly sticking out. I had gained weight along with Bella with each pregnancy, which is why I called it my happy fat. I wouldn't have wanted her to eat alone. Besides, I was comfortable and happy and Bella loved me in spite of it, even if it was more difficult to put on my shoes.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom before we leave." It took forever to just empty my bladder nowadays. That stupid prostrate gland was interfering with more than just my love life. While in the toilet I slipped out a pill and swallowed it without water. I know, it says to take with plenty of water, but what's plenty? Besides, I still didn't want Bella to know I wasn't fully functioning anymore.

When I returned I could see how tired Bella was. I had asked Mary to pack a small bag for her so she could change before we went to dinner. I had just worn my dress pants and a button-down, so all I had to put on was a tie and my sport jacket. Bella was lovely in her basic black dress and low heels. I could feel stirrings down below and thought it must either be the Viagra working or my body remembering how it had always responded to Bella.

I whisked Bella away as soon as I could. She had tears in her eyes as she waved to our youngest. I understood how she felt, but was really looking forward to the peace and quiet we once had. I knew it would only last until Vanessa moved closer with our grandchildren or Edward, III showed up with a family. I was determined to relish it as long as I could. The fact that my hearing seemed to be going would help deal with the noise the grandchildren were sure to bring. I remember my dad turning down his hearing aids, and was sure I would probably do the same. That reminded me, my hearing check-up was next week. I was already having trouble with conversations, and if there was a lot of background noise I could just forget figuring out what they were saying.

I settled Bella in the car, still opening her door for her. It was even more important now. Her balance hadn't improved much over the years, and I certainly didn't want her to fall and break a hip. The last thing we needed was her laid up with a hip replacement. Especially since the doctor was already suggesting one for me.

I ran around to my seat and quickly started the car. I looked over to see Bella already relaxing into the seat of our Jaguar, and knew she would probably fall asleep on the way to the restaurant. She hadn't gotten a nap today like I had. I still reached over to take her hand, loving the feel of it in my grasp as I drove the short distance to the pier. I had arranged for a table overlooking the bay at our favorite restaurant and I knew Bella would enjoy that.

I woke her with a kiss when we arrived. She smiled and stretched as she yawned. I was still amazed that she would still wake so happy to see me and went in for another quick peck before exiting the car to help her out.

I was right; she was delighted by my choice, and ordered the crab as soon as we were seated. I loved watching her break open the legs and pull the meat out. The way she dipped it in butter, and brought it to her lips made me think of other things I longed to feel her lips around. There was a slight stirring below decks at the sight, and I was surprised. This visual used to send me hard as a rock. Must be that prostrate gland getting in the way again. I felt the pill bottle in my pocket but couldn't remember if I had taken one or not. Surely if I had I would be feeling the effects by now? I could have sworn I took one when we were leaving Mary's dorm, but I was groggy from my nap then so must have just thought of doing it. When Bella slipped away to use the facilities I quickly slipped a pill out and downed it. Wouldn't want her to think I didn't have the same feelings for her as I used to, so I tried to hide what I was doing from her.

During dinner we talked about what we always talk about, the kids, the house and the bills. I know, after thirty years you would think that would get boring, but it hadn't yet. Even if the subjects were the same, what was discussed about them always changed. Tonight we talked about Vanessa's pregnancy, and that she had found out she was having a girl, little Edward's (he hated that nickname now that he was 20) current girlfriend, and of course Mary's roommate. The house needed a new roof, new water heater and Bella wanted to change some of the gardens around. Okay, the bills hadn't changed, just the amounts. Those were going through the roof! I was glad I was a partner in my firm or I would never be able to afford it all.

Bella ordered Crème Brule for dessert. Watching her lick the custard off the spoon finally generated a reaction in my southern regions. It actually seemed to hit kind of hard, like when I was in my twenties. I knew my pants were tenting, and was glad my sport coat made it around me still or everyone would be seeing the results of my staring. Bella just smirked at me, knowing what I was thinking. At first it was quite nice to be so hard again. That hadn't happened in a while. After about thirty minutes though, it became a bit painful. I remembered that from my youth as well. I quickly called over the waiter and asked for the check. I was excited, very excited, to get my girl to the hotel.

Bella fell asleep in the car again on the way from the restaurant to the hotel. Mary had really tired her out today. I woke her up to get her out of the car. Then again as she started to droop as we checked in and again as we got off the elevator.

When we finally got into our room I pushed her up against the wall and let her feel the depth of my desire for her. I crashed my lips down on hers and enjoyed hearing her moan into my mouth. I hadn't heard that in a while. Lately sex had become routine. Tonight, the routine was out the window. I moved to hitch her leg around my waist, but the combination of her weight gain (which admittedly wasn't any more than mine) and my bum hip and knee quickly convinced me that position was something we had left behind years ago.

She reached down and rubbed against my erection as she continued to kiss me. I began to trail kisses down her neck when she pushed me off of her to whisper, "Let's go to the bed. It'll be more comfortable." I certainly wasn't going to refuse her. I stepped back and started to unbutton my shirt as she reached behind her to unzip her dress. I could tell she was having trouble, so I spun her around to do it for her. As her skin was exposed to me I began to follow the zipper with my lips. I loved hearing her breathing catch in response. This was something I hadn't done in a long time. I had forgotten how seductive this was.

She stepped out of the dress when I finally finished unzipping her. She had kicked off her shoes when we came in and I enjoyed the sight of her in her underwear before me. The sight caused me to harden even further. If this continued I was going to be in agony before long. I needed to be inside her and soon. I peeled off my shirt and pulled off my pants and boxers as quickly as possible. As I was undressing she removed her own underwear, leaving her nude before me. She reached out to lead me to the bed, crawling on it while dragging me after her.

I lay down beside her as I gathered her into my arms. Trailing my hands down her side as she gripped my erection I murmured to her my love for her. I knew she hated it, but I loved tracing the stretch marks from her pregnancies. To me they indicated her willingness to trade in her perfect body for the lives of my children. I pushed her onto her back and kissed my way down her body. I paid special attention to her cesarean section scar that she had gotten with Mary. The doctor had told her she shouldn't have any more children after that, and so she had gotten her tubes tied at the same time as she gave birth.

I could hear her moans and feel her pushing on my head to encourage me to go lower, so I did. Spreading her open I pulled her nub into my mouth. Her cry of pleasure sent another wave of blood to my own sex. It was really uncomfortable now, so I knew I had to hurry this along. I knew all the things that would bring Bella to a quick release and worked them all. Within minutes I could hear, feel and taste her orgasm. I loved that I could still do that for her.

I kissed my way up her body and slipped inside of her. We both let out a groan at the pleasure of the sensation. I started to move inside of her, hoping that the pill I had taken would make this last a bit longer. Bella had stilled from her orgasm, and was moving in rhythm below me, her hands wrapped around my back to hold me close. Her lips open with her heavy breathing. I couldn't resist and so I dropped my own lips to meet her and languidly rolled my tongue against hers. I really enjoyed pumping both organs into her at the same time.

I felt her build up to another release and felt myself begin to give way. Only, it never came. The tightness in my stomach was growing, but never spilled over. Must be that pill really did drag things out. I continued my ministrations on Bella's body, relishing that this time was lasting so much longer than it had in the recent past. I heard Bella moan as I continued and so looked down at her face expecting to see a look of ecstasy. What I found was a look of peace. It wasn't a moan. More like a snore. She had fallen asleep again. I shrugged my shoulders as I continued to pump into her. It wouldn't be the first time she had fallen asleep during sex. Having three active children can wear you out. She never minded that I continued, and I took solace in the knowledge that she had received two orgasms. I'm sure those, combined with her work on Mary's dorm room, is what made her fall asleep again. I was certain I wouldn't last too much longer.

I was wrong. Something wasn't working right. It had been a half an hour, and I still couldn't find a release. In fact, instead of flagging, I seemed to be getting harder. The pain was becoming excruciating and I began to wonder if I had taken a pill at Mary's dorm after all. That meant I had taken two. That couldn't be good. I thought that if I just continued on I would surely get my own orgasm, causing this pain to go away.

It didn't happen. It had been an hour, and I was exhausted. Bella had awakened a couple times to kiss me, letting me know she didn't mind that I was continuing. She never looked at the clock, so I'm sure she had no idea how long this was lasting. I had been hard for two hours now. The doctor had warned that anything over four was dangerous and I should go into the hospital immediately if that happened. To be perfectly honest, I didn't know if I could stand this agony for another two hours. Nothing seemed to be helping either.

I woke Bella up to get her to help me find my own release. I moaned with pain as she reached down to rub her finger along the vein. Normally this caused pleasure, but it just made me even harder. I grabbed her hand away and pulled out; hoping the removing of that usually pleasurable sensation would help me with my problem. She looked at me with concern and asked, "What's wrong?"

I really didn't want to admit to her what I feared had happened, but couldn't stand this any longer. "I got a prescription for Viagra because my prostrate was making it hard for me to get an erection. I think I might have taken two," I admitted abashedly.

"What?!?" she yelled.

"I think I might have taken –"

"I heard you. What ever made you do that?" she continued in a raised voice that was filling with concern.

"I forgot I had taken the first one, so I took another," I answered her.

"Why didn't you tell me you had gotten a prescription?" her tone was calming slightly.

"I didn't want you to think you weren't desirable anymore."

"Oh, Edward," she groaned. "We need to get you to a hospital. Now." She climbed off the bed and quickly dressed into her sweats and t-shirt that Mary had packed. Thankfully Mary had packed the same for me so I wouldn't have to put on constricting pants. Bella rushed me out of our room and into the car. I couldn't believe how fast she drove and how awake she was, considering she had been out cold just moments before. As she drove she kept mumbling something about talking to the doctor about making sure she was aware of all prescriptions and how could I have been so reckless.

Checking into the hospital was a bit embarrassing. Especially when they rushed me back to fix my problem. I was eternally grateful that the doctor that came to attend me was a male. I wasn't so happy when he told me that he was going to have to drain the blood from my erection with a needle. At least he applied Novacaine to the injection site, but nothing took away the embarrassment of lying on the table while some young boy handled my private parts. He released us after talking with Bella about the proper use of Viagra and the potential side-effects. Especially considering my heart condition, if I ever had a heart-attack then the attending doctors would need to be notified immediately that I was on it.

When we returned to the hotel Bella stuck her hand out and said, "Hand them over." I went and got them out of my pants pocket. "Explain, please," she asked as I deposited them into her hand.

"I didn't want you to think you weren't desirable anymore. The doctor said my problem was due to my prostrate, but I was afraid you might take it personally. I didn't want to hurt you," I ended sheepishly.

A look of love came over her face as she said, "Oh, Edward. I do love you. Thank you for thinking of my feelings, but I need to know these things. I know you have an enlarged prostrate and what the consequences of that are."

"I'm sorry, love," I offered up in hopes of forgiveness.

"All is forgiven. However, I am in charge of these now." I hung my head in acquiescence, and watched as she put the little blue pills in her purse. We went on to bed, and I held her close as we fell asleep.

It was a couple weeks later when I came in from working in the yard. I was sweaty and dirty and looking forward to a shower. Looking over I saw Bella walking away from me into the kitchen, hopefully getting me some water to drink. I heard the water going into the glass and sat down at the table grateful to have a wife who doted on me. I was shocked when she came out of the kitchen, wearing only an apron. In her hand she had a tall glass of cold water in one hand and a little blue pill in the other. She leaned over, allowing me to look down where the apron barely covered her breasts, and whispered in my ear, "Don't take a shower. Come to me when this takes effect." With that she kissed me on the top of my head. She giggled as she shook her bare behind at me and sprinted up the stairs. I downed the pill quickly and took off after her. I knew it would take about twenty minutes for it to take effect, but had in mind all the fun we could have while we waited. Viva Viagra!


I only decided to do this at the last minute, so it didn't have time to be betaed. So please be kind. I have no idea if this reaction to an overdose of Viagra is accurate, and didn't have time to research it to be sure, but thought it was funny.

Okay ladies, how many of you have been so exhausted from work and running after children that you fell asleep during sex?