A/N:

I guess I am in the angst mood lately... Anyway, I do not own anything that is on pages 513- 520 in Eclipse. Please review!! Also, if you could take a look at my other stories, I would really appreciate it.

A incredibly huge thanks to CodyRhodesFan for betaing this! If you need an angst beta, she is awesome!! Check out her story- Idiot's Guide to Writing Angst (.net/s/5160443/1/), that's what inspired me to give angst a try!


Outside, in the snow, just a 100 yards or so from the tent, I stood waiting and waiting and waiting for Sam to send me a message telling me that the fight had begun.

In the distance, I could hear Bella and Edward talking about there favorite nights and I knew that nothing that really concerned me, but I decided to eavesdrop anyway because after all, I couldn't help feeling curious.

The conversation was getting boring and my mind began to drift and naturally

I was thinking about Bella. Her pale face and brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes filled my thoughts, my spinning thoughts.

I was pulled back to the present when I heard Edward say, "No- that would be two nights ago, when you finally agreed to marry me."

I thought my heart was going to stop.

What, I thought in shock, she chose the bloodsucker over me?

This can't be happening.

The only person I'd ever loved- gone in an instant.

This can't be happening.

Why me?

This can't be happening.

What the hell did I do to deserve this?

This can't be happening.

I could hardly breathe; my heart was torn into millions of pieces and I didn't know how to sop it as I let out an involuntary whimper of pain and I was engulfed by disappointment, betrayal, loneliness.

I bit my lip trying not to cry. I can't cry. I fought vampires and I didn't cry. Why do I want to cry now?

I knew that that he was listening. That he was enjoying my suffering. That damn leech. He probably planned this.

I thought of Bella- clueless, innocent, forgiving Bella.

I remembered her warm smile and her beautiful brown hair and her slim, fragile figure and the way she laughed, it echoed in my head, her touch permanently etched onto my skin.

I sighed.

I would never be able to see that lovely smile or hear that beautiful laugh again and her chocolate eyes would become piercing red then turning to gold. She wasn't going to be the same. I wouldn't, no I couldn't see her like that.

The thought disgusted me. I leaned over the nearest bust and emptied out my stomach, the acid burning in my throat. Good. Let it burn to my heart. I don't think I have one anyways. I curled up in a ball and sat down on the cold ground, hoping the nausea would pass.

She's going to look for you, Jake. She feels awful. She's been here sobbing her eyes out, Seth thought. Then he showed me a picture of Bella. Hair tangled and red eyed and shivering and sobbing and knees trembling Bella.

He sent Edward to come and get you. Bella wants to talk to you, Seth continued.

Speak of the leech and the leech shall appear.

Just then, almost as if he knew we were talking about him, Edward came out of the leafless trees. He just stared at me for a minute, unsure of what to say.

"Please come and talk to her, Jacob. She blames herself for everything- when it's really all my fault. Please come," Edward begged. I could see the sorrow in his eyes. Damn right it was his fault Bella was in pain- or is it my fault?

Fine, I thought, knowing he could hear me, only for Bella's sake. No other reason.

He smiled at me and whispered, "Thank you." Then he turned and ran off into the woods. Probably back to his precious Bella.

I ran back to the camp, bracing myself to see Bella as a human for the final time. If I was going back to meet her, I was at least going to get something out of it…

She already got something out of it- my heart and soul and just freaking everything.

And she stabbed and destroyed every part of me.