Please let me keep on loving you
Pale hands clutched red silk sheets so tightly that she still felt her nails dig into her palm. Each breath she took was more like a heave due to the heaviness of the air. Room temperature now felt blistering and the rotating fan was not providing any necessary circulation. The air hung with the smell of lust, and yet, was sweetly smothering. On the other side of the room, noises of chatter, laughter and drinking continued oblivious to what went on behind the closed bedroom door.
She constantly bit at her lower lip to contain her voice to instead let out soft moans. As much as she wanted to cry out, she knew—even in her intoxicated shape—that she did not want to draw attention to Seiya's room. Her shoulders and back moved erratically with every wave of euphoria that swept her body. Usagi prayed silently for a release and tensed her body in anticipation. Her tongue peeked from her mouth and wetted her lips while she climbed up to her summit. She was almost there; she was so close, so absolutely-
Oh God, why did it stop? It was as though she had slipped and started tumbling down the mountain back to the plateau. She had sweat that had accumulated on her forehead, neck and chest that glistened in the soft light that from the dimly lit lamp and it was all for nothing… so far. Usagi kept heaving as Seiya slowly crawled on top of the flustered blonde, taking his time to kiss his way up her body. His hands gently skimmed over her contours starting with her hips and roamed upward over her stomach, ribs and naked chest. Usagi got shivers as she felt the slight use of his tongue on her salty skin. Though the situation was still arousing, Usagi was able to calm herself until the musician's lips reached her neck.
"Why did you stop?" she exhaled.
Seiya chuckled deeply while still focusing on planting his wet kisses on the blonde's chin. "I didn't want you to finish before it got started."
"Oh… Okay." Usagi groaned. "I'm ready if you are…"
She did not have to tell him again. Seiya sealed the deal by taking her lips in one last searing kiss while he reached over to his nightstand to open the drawer. Usagi heard him fumble around for a bit, often hearing the sound of crackling plastic. For such a simple noise, she suddenly grew a lump in her throat while all the butterflies were suddenly released in her stomach all at once. She closed her eyes, coming to the realization that this was it…
She felt Seiya sit up and mildly shuffle around, but still choosing to keep her eyes closed, afraid that if she saw anything she would back out immediately. Though Usagi had never been so sure to want to do this at this very moment, she still felt timid and felt herself tighten in keenness. The arousal and alcohol combination took her sights for a dizzying spin and at this point, she was feeling too weak to even think.
He laid himself on top of her once again and rested his forehead against the odango-head's. From her heavy breathing, he could sense that the insistent Odango could still get nervous even when drunk. Seiya smiled and cupped her cheek.
Usagi simply nodded, loudly swallowing her fear.
"Just let me know if you want to stop…" Seiya continued.
He adjusted himself in between her straddle for proper entry while Usagi braced herself by taking a fistful of his open shirt by his shoulders. She felt the tip of his member against herself and mentally sized it up to be way to big for a smooth entrance; on instinct, she tried to close and lock her legs together, but they only tightened their hold around Seiya's waist enough for him to slowly penetrate.
Usagi widened her eyes and choked on her breath as she felt a stretching pain that flew off the charts. She would have almost torn off chunks of Seiya's shirt had he not paused.
"Oh God… how far are you in…?" she whispered with anxious eyes.
Seiya shook his head. "Not all the way."
"So like… half way?"
Again, he shook his head. "Not even."
She had never felt more disappointed to hear such an answer. It hurt so bad… why did women have to go through so much pain for their first time? Seiya must have caught onto her distress by the sounds of her pain-ridden whimpers.
"Do you want me to stop?"
Usagi wanted to cry out an enthusiastic 'yes' and then never try it again. But they were already in the moment and she knew sheer satisfaction lay on the other side of the discomfort. She remembered hearing from her mom that it only hurt for a little bit and then it is only pure pleasure from there on out. And she was with Seiya; she did not want to let him down and she knew that she would only want to do this with him. Sex is something you share with the one you love and he was it. Just only a few more minutes… Once again, she gulped loudly and shook her head.
"No… keep going."
He gave her no warning… or time to collect herself. In one movement, he was finally all the way in and completely surrounded. Opposing his female partner under him, he let out a deep, passionate groan at the feeling of her tightness and warmth and his body tensed with ecstasy. Though the whole world would have felt Usagi's pain by how loudly she yelped.
It was amazing how fragile a memory could become; something so sweet could be tarnished in an instant. It was said that the only thing people could not rob of you were your feelings and reminiscences, but Usagi felt like that that had somehow been done… and of course to her, of all people for it to happen to. But by whom: Minako, Seiya… herself? Maybe it was a complete mixture, but it was done. Usagi regarded the night she lost her virginity as somewhat beautiful, full of love and passion. Instead of getting drunk, waking up with a sore feeling between your legs and not remembering the guy's name the next morning, she could safely say she lost it to the one person she loved and trusted. Something was made that night instead of just "had."
But who really made love and who had sex at the time? It seemed that while both were lost in the moment, it meant two completely different things to each person. Usagi could not help but feel she drew the short straw and was the poor sap that thought it was all for love that night.
She recalled when he started to establish a rhythm after he had fully penetrated her, like a slow pulsing. She could see and almost feel the pleasure in Seiya: the way he groaned, the way his body would get taut each time he would slide himself back into her, the way he breathed on her neck. For Usagi, it still hurt during the first few thrusts—as delicate as they were—but then she began to feed off of her partner's delight… and it soon turned to bliss for her, mentally and physically.
And now, just a few days later, it had become agony for her brain. The idleness of a teenager's time that was allowed due to summer break gave the odango-head more time to think about it with fewer distractions. The psychological torment had caused her to avoid her friends and hole up in her room for hours on in.
Though the summer was absolutely beautiful: the sun shone brilliantly every day, kids and teenagers alike frolicked in the streets and community swimming pools and beaches… it was a time for shallow crushes, popsicles and bonfires. But all Usagi could do was think about how much she had been hurt… again.
The odango-head's negativity was too much for her purple-haired mother to bear. So finally after a couple of days of Usagi drowning in her sorrows by herself in her room and going through the last gallon of ice cream, she practically resigned to kicking her child out of the house. Of course Ikuko would know NOTHING of what was ailing her only daughter and could get only that out of her. But whatever it was, it was not the Tsukino way to sulk your way through life about it. Her odango-haired progeny did not try to put up much of a fight, though; she was starting to get headaches due to a mild case of cabin fever and her lack of major movement. And the sun felt nice on her skin.
Usagi chose the Crown as her destination and texted her blonde counterpart for a simple meeting for some strawberry sodas. Knowing Minako, she would bet that she knew where to find some shenanigans to get into later in the evening; she was desperate for anything to take her mind off of Seiya.
Upon walking through the glass sliding door, she bumped into a hard, animate object. Usagi let out a loud, "oomph" and took a few steps back to catch herself from falling. In her attempt to apologize to the person, she looked into a beautiful pair of sapphire eyes. Her heart and breathing paused for a moment to register whom it was she just ran into.
She forced herself to breathe in through her nose to keep from fainting at the sight of the last person she wanted to see.
He smiled genuinely at her presence, a smile that used to make Usagi go weak. "It's been a while. How are you?"
But it seemed that he did not have any effect on the blonde like he used to. When she would usually respond to his grins by smiling back or giddily fidgeting, all he saw her do now was avoid any and all eye contact with a face stricken with depression. It had been a few weeks since he has even talked to her and he had to admit, he did miss her.
"I'm great. Just meeting Mina here for a soda."
Mamoru suddenly grew curious of Usagi's demeanor; she did not even TRY to sound believable. He hoped that there was still a little something within her heart that still felt for him that he could use to his advantage to see what was wrong. Usually when he was catch sight of Usagi at school, it never failed to see Seiya as well. So where was he? That day when the almost-kidnapping scandal broke out and she left with the idol, Mamoru told himself that she would come running back one day. Seiya was a ticking time bomb and Usagi—so young, so naïve—would find out the hard way that he was not the smart choice. And by the looks of her, that day might have been sooner than he thought.
"That's cool. Wanna sit with us while you wait for Minako?" He kept a front of all smiles and optimism.
Usagi raised a brow. "Us?"
Mamoru stepped aside and motioned at a table with a familiar black-haired girl occupying a seat who was busy texting on her phone at the moment. Usagi could feel herself roll her eyes and sigh in annoyance. Why now of all times did Mamoru want to try to play nice? She was really in no mood for this bullshit right now. She did not really even want to mingle with anyone except with Minako who she could actually confide in.
Usagi must have been too caught up in her thoughts to realize she still had not responded to Mamoru's invitation. He grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"C'mon. We need to catch up. It'll be fun." The tennis pro winked.
Fun? Life was far from it. But the blonde had no choice: Mamoru was already dragging her over to the table before she could answer or protest.
"Oh hi, Mamoru-kun. Who is thi- oh wait, we've met before. Usagi, right?" Rei looked up from her cell phone and Usagi watched her face brighten as her and Mamoru neared her. It came as quite a surprise; why would some person be so excited to see someone else after they only met once? The odango-head was finding happiness utterly nauseating.
"Hey," Usagi gave a pitiful wave to Rei. "Nice to see you again."
"You too! Why don't you have a seat with us?" Rei gestured for a seat across the table. Again, her cheerfulness was enough to make Usagi want to shoot herself. But Mamoru scooting out a chair and guiding her over to sit interrupted her thoughts. She cursed gravity as the edge of the seat hit the back of her knees and locked her legs forward, making her plop on the chair harshly. With a crooked eye, she watched the black-haired man seat himself between the two ladies.
"How's your summer break going so far?" The violet-eyed priestess inquired toward the bitter blonde.
Usagi shrugged. "Pretty well. I'm just taking it easy for now."
"Nice, nice," Rei nodded. "Nothing wrong with that. A break from school is a break from school no matter how you slice it."
The blonde nodded, feigning agreement. "Yeah. It's been pretty boring so far."
"Ah, well, surely you have some plans with your friends to go to Shirahama or something…" Rei was about to add onto her question but then suddenly stopped herself and pointed at the odango-head. "Wait, weren't you the one hanging out with Seiya Kou when I met you?"
Oh the joy of having a rocky relationship with none other than the most famous teenager in the nation. You could not forget about him since his face and voice was on everything from TV to radio to the windows of every record store and EVERYONE knew his name. Usagi felt slapped in the face every time she was reminded of him and Rei's blow felt the harshest. For today, it was slap #14 and it was barely 4:00 PM.
"Yes, she was." Mamoru interjected. Usagi's gaze snapped towards his direction to see him nonchalantly mixing his chocolate milkshake with a straw giving her a look… almost as if he knew what was going on between her and Seiya. If they were not in a public place partly ran by a person she respected, she would have dunked the cold treat all over his head. She could feel to her very core that he said that on purpose…
"That's right! So do you still talk to him? Do you have any plans with him for the break?" Rei's face lit up like a Christmas tree.
Usagi looked back over at Rei and collected herself for the time being. "He's in Hawaii for the week. Him, Taiki and Yaten are shooting a music video for their next single." She was not about to tell Rei that she was no longer on speaking terms with the celebrity.
The raven-haired girl giggled. "Listen to you: on a first name basis with all of them."
"Yeah well every girl at Tenth Street is on a first name basis with Seiya." Mamoru once again let himself be heard, snarling as he stated his comment.
Rei scoffed and playfully hit Mamoru on the arm. "Oh Mamoru-kun, don't be so mean." She looked toward Usagi and shrugged. "He's just jealous of him since he's Motoki's favorite Light."
"What's there to be jealous of: how he whores himself to all females of the school or how he's incapable of caring about anyone but himself? If there's anyone I'm glad not to be, it's that guy."
"Mamoru!" The black-haired priestess looked truly appalled. "Stop talking about him in front of Usagi. He's her friend."
Both of the raven-headed teenagers were too busy squabbling to see Usagi reaching her limit. She had a hold on her skirt that would have squeezed the life out of a baby bird. She was never really good at ignoring anyone, particularly if they were talking about a friend. As much as she was pissed at Seiya, she could not believe the words that were coming out of Mamoru. Each remark stung as if she were the one they were talking about. She just could not help it… how dare he…
"Well I'm hoping not for long," Mamoru argued back at Rei. "Seiya will do whatever it takes until some stupid chick puts out and then he's off to his next mission. Fortunately for Usagi here, she hasn't opened the muffin shop for him and it's only a matter of time before he gives up and gives into the wisdom of his second head and bothers some other girl." He switched his gaze to the fuming odango-head. "Am I right?"
Gruffly, Usagi stood up, letting the chair fall onto its back since she rose with such force. She locked on target to a bewildered Mamoru.
"Don't you dare talk about him like that! You don't know a goddamned thing about him, so how can you say such horrible things? Maybe if you would take the time to get to know someone, you would know that all you've said about him isn't true! Sure he has his flaws but that doesn't give you the right to talk about his as if you don't have any of your own! You don't know what he's been through! You don't know who he is! So stop acting like a spoiled, insecure brat and shut the fuck up!"
Turning on her heel Usagi took her leave out of the Crown, unaware and apathetic of the jaw-dropped faces of Rei and Mamoru, along with a few close bystanders.
Just as the odango-head moved through the sliding door, she came close to running into Minako who was ten minutes late… by the way. The red-bowed girl was about to greet her friend when Usagi took a hold of her wrist and started dragging her down the sidewalk back the way Minako came.
"Ow! Usagi, what are you doing?"
"Change of plans."
"Alright guys, we only have another hour left of sunlight. Get your shit together so we can get this thing done!"
An obvious livid director barked out orders and his grievances through a bullhorn as many set members scurried around to arrange the light positions and set props. The orange sunset was disappearing slowly over the watery horizon and a part of the moon could already be seen in the sky. They had to work fast to get that portion of filming done before it turned nighttime.
"Yes guys. We're in a gorgeous paradise with a beautiful beach and water so let's get the fuck out of this hellhole!" Yaten's sarcastic comment went heard by Taiki and Seiya and a few make-up artists as they touched up the faces of the band members. The statement earned a few light chuckles before the assistant to the director approached the trio.
"Seiya, yo, we're having a bit of trouble with you."
The black-haired idol cocked a brow. "How so?"
"Yeah, we're liking the saddened, desperate energy. But that's not coming until the end. We need you actually acting like you're happy and in love with this girl: smile a little bit and, I don't know, maybe look at her every now and then. You're looking like you're sad that you have to act like you like her."
Seiya sighed and nodded in understanding. He ran his hand through his hair and rubbed it back down his face in exhaustion. "Alright. I'll do it."
The assistant director gave him a thumbs-up and ran off the set, behind the cameras.
"What's with you?" Taiki inquired.
"I'm just jet-lagged, that's all." Seiya quickly responded.
"You just chugged a huge Red Bull. Your mind is somewhere else. Stop thinking about Usagi for a bit and get your head in the game. You'll see her when we get back." Yaten showed no mercy.
"No I won't."
Mauve met lime green as the tallest and shortest Light exchanged confused glances. Telepathically they asked each what the deal was and silently deducted with shrugs and mouth movements that maybe it was just Seiya having another one of his bitch fits.
"All thanks to you, she hates me." Seiya ended his sentence with a glare toward Yaten.
The silver-haired boy held his hands up in defense and looked around at the make-up artists and Taiki to see if they were hearing the same crazy accusations he was. "Whoa, what? I didn't do anything!"
"Obviously you did. You said something to Minako who told Usagi that got her completely pissed off at me. What the fuck did you say?" Seiya took a step toward Yaten and he took the cue to take a step back.
"What are you talking about? Where is this coming from-"
"Hey guys, what's going on? I'm waiting! Let's go! Chop, chop!" The director called from his bullhorn.
"We need five minutes!" Taiki called out while holding up his outstretched hand before dragging the bickering boys by the arms to their trailer. The director's complaints were rendered moot once they made it up the stoops and into the mobile home. Both Seiya and Yaten released themselves from Taiki's grasp and paced to different ends.
"Okay, what the fuck?" Taiki crossed his arms and looked down at his band mates.
"Don't look at me! I'm not the one yelling out all these made-up accusations." Yaten defended.
The tall Light looked over at Seiya. "What's wrong?" He had been waiting to get to the bottom of Seiya's actions for a few days now. Ever since they had left for Hawaii, he was uncharacteristically quiet, depressed and on edge. Taiki did not care if they did take over five minutes; he knew Seiya was the star and it would be him that would make or break this video production with this pissy mood he was in.
"It started off on Sunday morning," Seiya began, just as willing to get this out of his system as the other two, "I called Izumi over to fix Odango's ring that she left the night before. I was going to surprise her with it after this week. But she came over and Izumi answered the door in my boxers and shirt…"
"And what was she doing with those things on?" Taiki interrupted.
"Some kid spilled ketchup on her or something on the bus. I washed her clothes for her 'cause I didn't want her leaving without fixing Odango's ring."
Both Taiki and Yaten knew this story was not going to end well. The lime-eyed shorty scrunched his nose. "She thought you were cheating on her with Izumi? Ew…"
"I chased her down to the elevators and I found her bawling." The raven-haired teenager projected his voice; purposely trying to talk over Yaten's little comment. "I tried to explain everything but she wasn't having it. She mentioned something about you and what you told Minako and then Minako told her. It was something along the lines of trying too hard for sex." Seiya continued as painful as it was to recall. "Among other insults."
"Okay, I still don't know what the hell you're talking about." Yaten shrugged.
"Then why would she say those things?" Seiya's voice started to rise but Taiki putting a hand on his shoulder soon calmed him.
"Listen guys, we need to get to the bottom of this right here, right now!" Taiki ordered. "We're wasting time and money squabbling like little girls. Now let's backtrack a little bit," he turned toward the bandleader, "Seiya, when did you say this happened?"
"And what about Saturday night?"
"She was fine up until the next morning."
Taiki turned to Yaten. "Alright, so what did you say to Minako Sunday morning?"
He shrugged. "I didn't talk to her on Sunday. We barely texted."
"What about Saturday night? Try to remember, or if you need to, we can do drunken recall. The fridge in the back is filled from front to back." Taiki pointed behind himself with his thumb toward a mini fridge nestled between the sink and cabinets.
"Even if I were drunk, I won't remember a goddamned- Ohhhh wait…" Yaten was ready to play the defensive again before it finally hit him, that moment when Minako started acting funny.
Seiya and Taiki leaned forward in eagerness. "What?"
He began to laugh nervously and scratched the back of his head. "So you guys are gonna totally laugh at this…"
Yaten backed himself into the wall of the trailer and knew he had to fess up. "Well, I might have said a… TEENSY… little comment." His voice cracked when he described its size and he helped with their mental image by holding his hand up, his pointer finger and thumb only centimeters apart. His eyes were squinting, but he opened them up slightly to observe Taiki and Seiya glaring sharp daggers at him. He knew he were to get a verbal beating if he told them or not.
"Mina and I were sitting on the couch talking and she brought you and Usagi up and how cute of a couple you guys were, blah, blah… And I can't remember for sure but I might have said something along the lines of 'Seiya pursued Usagi all that time just to get into her pants.' I don't know, I could be wrong…"
"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
"BUT…!" Yaten scrunched his body in a ball. "I also said that even assholes can learn to love!"
The lead musician paused in his attack, his outstretched hands inches from Yaten's lifeline. "What?"
Initially, Yaten said that last sentence too fast for anyone to comprehend. From behind his hands that covered his face for protection, he spoke slower and clearer. "I also said that even assholes can learn to love… But when I looked over, she was gone…" little by little, the silver-haired boy lowered his arms once he figured it was safe for him to do so. "And then I guess the rest is history."
"Thanks for sticking up for me," Seiya sarcastically mumbled and crossed his arms.
"Listen, I'm sorry! I didn't realize it would become an issue! I didn't think that Minako would take it out of context."
"Well, how do you think she would've taken it?" Taiki rested his hands on his hips. "Anyway, so that settles it, right?" He looked over to Seiya who still did not look happy.
He snorted. "Not really. Odango still hates me."
"I'm sure she doesn't hate you." The tall Light argued while rolling his eyes.
"Well besides telling me that I'm an asshole, she wasted her time on me and calling me disgusting, she said that the only good thing that came out of us having sex was that she lost it to a celebrity. What do you make of that? Maybe hate is too strong, maybe it's more along the lines of revulsion?" He meant to sound sarcastic and angry… but one little sniffle and a show of watery eyes gave away how he truly felt.
Yaten and Taiki could not think of words to say about it. They had not known Usagi to be adept of such things to come out of her mouth and they could not remember the last time they saw Seiya so wound up and upset. And here he was about to cry?
"Seiya, are you crying?" Taiki asked.
Again, the black-haired boy sniffled and turned his back to his cousins. "No."
Both boys strode to either side of their bandleader and gave him comforting pats on his back and shoulders.
"I don't get why it's so hard." Seiya pleaded through subtle sobbing. "Nothing I do is ever right. It's always something between us. I don't know what to do. I love her so much… I've never felt this way about anyone in my life. I want to be with her forever but I'm so exhausted, you guys… I can't keep doing this. I can't keep explaining myself every time…"
Taiki bit his lip and nodded. "Yeah, I'd say your relationship is Murphy's Law in love form. You and her… are just in the wrong places at the wrong time. You both are young and still have a lot to learn. For all you know, you could be getting all your fights out of the way and making way for a smooth ride for the rest of your lives."
That last sentence was chuckle-worthy for Seiya. "I don't want to give her up… but I don't want to keep on fighting."
"You have to!" Yaten exclaimed. "Now that you've found someone who you truly care about, you can't just give up. You can't let her go. As hard as it may be, you'll never find anyone like her. And then you'll live on the rest of your life wondering 'what if?'"
Seiya wiped his nose and the few tears he let escape down his cheeks. "Still, I don't know if she'll let me fix anything. She was so upset… I've tried calling her before we left but… nothing. She never wants to see me again."
"Seiya, if it's meant to be, it's meant to be…" The tall musician regrettably responded. "But you don't know: she's probably missing you as much as you're missing her."
"Yeah, we'll see about that."
"We just don't want the old Seiya back. We like this new committed one which will probably get us better press in the future." Taiki answered cheerfully, to cut through the somber mood of the trailer.
"Yeah… you don't know how awkward it was to talk with some random pap about you and your latest screw." Yaten added on.
"Just when I thought you were actually looking out for ME." Seiya snorted.
"Sure we are!" Taiki gave one last pat on the back for Seiya and began to take his leave. "C'mon, enough talking; let's get this thing done so we can actually have a couple of days of vacation."
Yaten soon followed suit but halted briefly right before he was to step outside the door. "Are you gonna be okay?"
Seiya nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute…" He used the chest part of his shirt to dab at his eyes carefully so as to not ruin the makeup newly applied only five minutes ago.
Just when he figured himself composed enough to step back on set, the door abruptly opened to expose a young woman in a barely-there bikini.
"Hey, I knew I'd find you here!" She smiled.
For a split second, Seiya let his male urges take over and allowed his eyes roam over her body… with a perfectly toned physique. She was a model/actress that his label hired to play his on-screen love interest. And for an amateur, she was not too bad. He did not really have time to get to know her personally—due to them having to awkwardly act out kissing and touching—but she seemed nice enough. What was her name again: Miwa, Awa…?
"Oh, sorry. I'm coming." Seiya assured and started walking toward her. Once he reached the steps that lead to the door, the model did not budge from her place that was blocking the exit.
"I talked to the director and convinced him it would be more romantic to shoot at night," she shrugged, "he just needs the other two for now and won't need us until another half hour. I thought we could take this time to practice."
Seiya nodded slowly, picking up on the slight raspy, lustful tone of her voice. "Oh… practice what?"
She giggled and blushed. "Well, all the kissing and stuff. I don't want it to look so awkward in front of the camera." She pulled the door shut and stepped up the stairs to reach Seiya's level and tugged at his shirt.
"Shall we get started?"
Taiki and Yaten stood several feet away, intently listening to the guidance of the assistant director and where he wanted to strategically place them for the next scene. All three soon practically jumped out of their skin when they heard the front door of the trailer swing open and slam against the outside. Out clomped the bare-footed, bikini-clad model down the stoops and through the sand like she was on a mission… to get AWAY from the trailer. A few seconds later, Seiya poked his head from the entry and looked around before his eyes locked with those of his band mates and the assistant director. With a playful grin, he casually strutted down the steps and slowly trudged through the sand toward the three awe-struck and confused boys. He had his cell phone in hand, dialing a set of numbers before putting it to his ear. Yaten and Taiki waited until he got close enough to start investigating.
"What the hell was that?" Spat Yaten.
Seiya simply shrugged; phone still in hand and to his ear. "Some people just can't take, 'no' for an answer."
"Who are you calling?" Asked the other one.
"You guys were right…" The bandleader retorted before her voicemail came on.
Curled in a tight ball, Usagi nestled herself in the far right corner of the couch and lazily watched TV. Though she could not tell anyone what was on despite her hypnotic stare at the picture box. It had become a habit of hers for about to week to "watch" TV while playing a whole other program in her head—starring Seiya.
Her phone vibrating on the side table, signaling that she had received a voicemail interrupted her trance. Funny… she did not hear her phone ring. She did not know who left her a message but her heart began to beat rapidly at the thought; could it be him?
Again, Ikuko striding into the living room disrupted her thoughts once again. The older woman was staring down at her hand in wonderment of the ring on it.
"Usagi… did you take my ring?"
Ring? What ring? "Um what?" She gulped. Oh shit…
Ikuko turned her hand around for Usagi to view the back of it. On her ring finger was the pink pearl ring, passed down from two generations so far and now shinier than ever. "Momma's ring. There were some diamonds missing and now they've been replaced. And the pearl looks polished. Did you take it somewhere to get it fixed?"
The blonde opened her mouth to answer but could only utter, "… No…."
That answered sufficed for the maternal figure. "Ah, well your father must have done it. I've taught him well." She exited the living giggling to herself to start preparing dinner.
Diamonds replaced? A polished pearl? She did not even think her father knew of the ring or its significance. Usagi was not even the last person to be wearing it; it was that old slut that was at Seiya's apartment who last had it on her ratty finger. The blonde knew that the when she wore it to the party that it was still in its old form with missing diamonds and murky shimmer. So what happened in between then?
It hurt her brain too much to try to connect the dots. The blinking light on her phone caught her attention once again, the voicemail still needing to be heard.
When she called it, the recording told her that it was originally from four days earlier. God her service sucked! And once the message was played, all that could be heard was silence with the slight sound of the wind blowing in the background. Suddenly a familiar male voice broke the tense stillness.
"… I miss you…"
International calling always had a huge lag time. How many more of these messages is she going to get? The sound of his voice was full of desperation and devotion. It finally broke her down and she buried her face into the arm of the couch to control her silent sobs.
"Wait, wait, you're going in there NOW?"
"Do you know what you're going to say?"
"What are you going to tell them?"
"The truth! God, what's wrong with you?"
Seiya pushed his sunglasses further up on his nose and nervously ran his hands through his hair. "I just hope you know what you're doing…"
"What's there to know? As long as I keep Minako quiet, it should be cake."
"Are you sure this is going to work?" Seiya pleaded. Even from behind the shades, Yaten could see the despondency in his deep blue eyes.
"God, look at you. I've never seen you so self-conscious." The shorty shook his head and turned around to proceed through glass sliding doors. "Don't worry!"
"Ahh I can't believe it, Yaten comes home today!" Minako bounced and drummed her fingers on the table from her innermost place in the Crown booth.
Ami and Makoto, who sat across from the two blondes, smiled. The fourth member of the group failed to share in the enthusiasm.
"Hopefully he came back with a gorgeous Hawaiian tan." Minako continued with stars in her eyes, looking off in the distance.
Ami covered her mouth to contain her giggles. "Actually, I heard that he forgot to use tanning oil one day from mine and Taiki's Skype conversations. Taiki said he was demoted to first lobster in the video."
"Lobster or not, sunburns can still turn into really good tans." The red-bowed flaxen defended in her boyfriends honor.
The conversation soon became awkwardly quiet once it would be Usagi's turn to pipe up about Seiya. The odango-head had not contributed at all to the discussion when they first met up at the Crown and had been concentrating on mixing her drink more than participating.
But now Usagi found an opening to talk.
"Did I tell you guys that he kept calling me?"
All three friends looked at each other, having a sense of the person she was talking about… yet not.
"Who?" Makoto questioned.
Minako took a swig of her diet soda. "Wow, that's… interesting."
"How so?" Usagi asked as she looked over at her blonde counterpart.
"I mean that it's very confusing as to why he would still be pursuing you." Minako shrugged.
"I know… it confused me too. From what you said and what Seiya's doing, nothing is making sense." Usagi finally stopped stirring her drink and looked up at friends. "What do you-"
"Yaten!" Minako's A.D.D. kicked in once she took in the sight of her boyfriend entering the Crown. He donned thick-rimmed, girly sunglasses and a red nose. Giving a slight wave to the booth full of girls, he approached the table without a greeting.
He pointed to the two blondes sitting next to each other. "You and you! We need to talk."
Minako and Usagi gave each other bewildered looks but decided to oblige Yaten anyway. They hastily followed him over to a secluded corner of the parlor where he began his mini inquisition.
"Yaten, what's going on?" Minako questioned.
"Usagi, I'm going to need you to tell me, from your point of view, what happened last weekend between you and Seiya." Yaten demanded, ignoring his girlfriend's question.
"Let's not dance around the issue here, alright? I know that some shit went down between you and Seiya and I know it started off with something I said." The silver-haired idol glanced at Minako. "Now besides what I said, what happened Sunday morning?"
The odango-head sighed; vexed that Yaten was trying to force her to spill the details. "Why do I have to tell you?"
"Oh my God, really?" Yaten threw his arms up. "Are you really gonna play this game? I'm trying to help you out."
"Okay, okay! Let's all stay civilized here." Minako interjected, trying to play referee and pacifist. "Look, that morning after we left, Usagi realized she had left her mother's ring at your apartment. So she went back to go get it and once she got up there, some other woman in Seiya's boxers and shirt answered the door."
Yaten nodded. "Did you happen to catch the name of that woman?"
"Izumi… or something." Usagi folded her arms. "The doorman mistook me as her and that's how I slipped in without having to notify Seiya… coincidentally letting me catch him in the act."
"Ugh…" the Light rubbed his forehead. "I guess you don't know who Izumi Ma is. Don't you read magazines ever?"
Minako's eyes lit up. "Oh, you mean the jewelry designer? You know her? Oh my God, I love her stuff!" She dropped her jaw and placed both hands on her cheeks while looking to her friend. And then it occurred to her… "Ohhh… shit."
"Yeah, and besides that, she's old. There's no way Seiya would sleep with her anyway."
"What? She's thirty-three." Minako cocked a brow.
"Yeah… old." Yaten argued and then turned his interest back on Usagi. "Anyway, he called her over to fix your ring. Somehow she got stains on her clothes and had to borrow some of Seiya's until they were cleaned. That's why she was dressed the way she was."
The memory of Ikuko displaying the repaired ring played through Usagi's mind, her heart falling at the thought. She was there to fix her ring…? But it was just too much of a coincidence… it had to be a coincidence! Then again, why was it that Yaten was telling her?
"Why are you here telling me this instead of Seiya?" Usagi timidly rephrased her question.
"He tells me you can't stand the sight of him right now. And I feel partly responsible for this whole shit storm and I'm taking it upon myself to defend Seiya's honor. Now… are we good?"
"No!" Minako snapped. "That might have been a huge misunderstanding, but we can't ignore the fact that Seiya still tried to buy his way to Usagi, just like he does every other girl. I mean, the shopping, the phone, the dog… it's like he was trying to buy his way to sex."
Yaten scoffed and through his head back in exasperation. "Okay, Usagi, do you feel that way?"
She shrugged. "Well, Mina does have a point…"
"You know, I thought that with what you know about Seiya, you would understand. Realize that Seiya has grown up in show business ever since he could fucking walk. It's a shitty industry to get into; everyone's greedy, shallow and selfish. Almost every single person he's encountered has only wanted money or a status or THINGS from him, even his own goddamned father. And it's completely fucked up his mind. Now, he equates someone's feelings for him with how much shit he can buy them. So, Usagi, feel special, because the more shit that he buys you, the more he likes you and wants you to like him. All those other girls, yeah he might have crushed on them and bought him a necklace or two, but in the end, he realized that that was all they wanted from him: necklaces. And then he moved on. But you… it's on a whole other level. Seiya knows that you aren't in it for the money or status, yet he doesn't have the mental capacity to realize that he doesn't have to take you out shopping or buy you a dog. He'll just keep buying you more and more things to keep you satisfied with him. It's the only thing that makes him feel worthy of you. It's not that he's trying to buy his way into your pants… he's trying to buy your love but in the most sincere and caring way. Do you understand me?"
Both girls stood silently to register all that Yaten had explained… all the pieces now coming together. Now that Minako had an idea of what he was talking about, she suddenly felt unspeakable dread about the whole situation. Looking over at her best friend, she could tell she shared in her sentiments. But she still needed to get one thing out of the way.
"But… you said that Seiya pursued Usagi the whole time to get into her pants… how do you explain that?" The red-bowed girl meekly stammered.
Yaten rolled his eyes. "I guess you missed the part at the end when I said 'even assholes can learn to love.' Though I guess you had already run off by then…"
Usagi tightened her mouth to hold in her sobbing and let her silent tears fall down her cheeks, the memory of her words to Seiya on the elevator piercing through her heart.
"He's outside, by the way," Yaten added, cocking his head back toward the entrance.
Those five words kick-started Usagi's heartbeat and she looked out of the Crown windows to try to spot him out. Though she could not pick out that long black ponytail, she had faith in what Yaten said. Swiftly, she began jogging out of the parlor.
"Usagi, wai-" Minako began to go after her friend until Yaten practically clothes lined her.
"Ohhh no you don't! You've caused enough trouble with that mouth for the time being. You need to stop poking your ass in other people's business."
"Excuse me? Poking my ASS?"
She looked every which way she could: left, right, across the street, right again… Damn, she hoped Yaten was not just playing a cruel joke on her; if that was not he trying to play cupid then she was doomed in the ways of love for the rest of her life if all liars were that good at the game. She prayed to God momentarily that Seiya was in fact around and that their talk would go over well. Usagi would have killed for Seiya to show how sorry she was. After a few seconds, she decided to set her sights left and looked around the corner.
And there he sat, lonely on a concrete bench shaking his legs up and down in rigorous nervousness. His shoulders were propped high by his ears due to his arms sitting straight near his hips. Usagi felt a bit of comfort that she was not the only one utterly nerve-wracked about this dramatic reunion.
"Seiya!" the blonde called out.
Seiya's head snapped toward her almost as instantly as he stood up. He had the sudden urge to start running toward her to engage in some tight embracing action and drown her in a thousand kisses. It was final at this moment: even after all the ups and downs, laughter and crying, good and bad, he was still madly in love and completely delighted at her presence. Out of all the things in the world to say, all he could muster up out of a whirlpool of feelings was, "Hey…"
After a loud sniffle, Usagi began to think with her heart and strode toward the idol. She opened her arms wide and gave him the tightest embrace she has ever given. Soon she began to let it all out and sobbed loudly into his chest, wetting his tee shirt with her salty tears. Seiya encircled his arms around the weeping blonde and buried his nose into her hair. Oh how he missed this…
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Sputtered the odango-head. "I can't believe I said those things… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean a word. I'm so sorry…"
"Shh…" Seiya whispered. "It's okay." He placed his hand behind her head and weaved his fingers through her golden hair. He sighed as he smiled. "It's okay… I missed you…"
She looked up at him, her eyesight glossed by her waterworks. Usagi pursed her lips and blinked down a few more tears down her cheeks. "Why are you so stupid?"
Seiya's mood went from relief to astonishment; such a question caught the pop star off-guard. But that word was the only one that came to the blonde's mind at the moment. It was the best way she could describe the raven-haired boy's behavior.
"I've hurt you so many times, in so many ways. And every time you've forgiven me. No other person would have given me so many chances. So why, Seiya? Why do you keep coming back? Why do you still want me around?" Usagi finished.
Seiya looked down and lightly chuckled, now on the same level as her. "Let's sit down." He gingerly guided her over to the concrete bench before both teenagers took a seat. With a set of adoring eyes, the musician looked deeply into his first love's soul.
"If you want the truth… it's because you're the first real friend I've ever had…"
That was an answer she was definitely not expecting. Usagi lightly gasped and kept looking at Seiya, curious for the rest of his explanation.
"As sad as it sounds, it's the truth. I can't tell you how many times I've been used and abandoned… by my mom, my dad and subsequently everyone else that I thought was my friend. It was all the same from everyone: they'd be nice to me and I would give them everything in the world, only for them to get what they wanted out of me and never have anything to do with me after that. For a long time, it thought it was my entire fault; I thought I was the reason why I kept being left. I didn't know what was wrong with me. With my dad, so-called "friends" and producers, I concluded that I was the common denominator, so it HAD to be me. And I grew up thinking that every person in this world was greedier than the next.
"But then when I got into music, I thought it would be different. I thought: 'finally, people will like me now. They will see how talented I am and they'll HAVE to want to be my friend.' But it was just the same… if not worse. So after a while, I gave the world the middle finger and said, 'fuck it! If they're going to treat me like this, I can do just as much damage to them.' And that's what I did… With a little bit of cockiness, I used the easiest thing to my advantage: sex. Every conquest was another part of the game and another 'fuck you' to everyone who had ever hurt me. It was a pretty dark time too. I was falling down a spiral and ultimately had to turn to other means to make me happy; that's why we dabbled in drinking and drugs for a little bit. Taiki and Yaten were just along for the ride, but I was trying to escape the pain. Yet there was still that nagging feeling inside telling me, 'no matter what you do to them, it doesn't change a thing. They still don't like you.' So then I'd drink and sleep around more to shut it up.
"But then you came along. I knew from the beginning that you were different than all the others. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I liked you. I realized now it was because you didn't know who I was. You just thought I was some cocky asshole with a mission to make your life hell," Seiya chuckled. "You want to know why I keep coming back to you… it's because you're the only person in the world who likes me for me. And despite what everyone would tell you, you still stood by me. For whatever reason, you somehow found it in you to stick around. And from what I've been through my whole life, I'd be a damned fool to ever let you go. You couldn't care less about how much money I make, what status I can give you or that I'm a celebrity. I knew it meant shit to you. And even when you did realize what I am, you still treated me the same. You give me so much happiness to last a lifetime; more than any status, drug, drink or one-night stand could do for me. And I love you for it."
Usagi felt the sudden urge to just throw herself on him. Ever so tightly, she enclosed the idol's torso with her arms and buried her face in his shoulder. As many times she has seen him in a vulnerable state, she was completely touched by this moment. His sincerity in the confession moved her to love him more than she has ever loved a person. She finally saw that behind that womanizing, arrogant exterior, there was a little boy just wanting to have a friend… wanting to be loved.
"I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave you, Seiya." The blonde whispered.
He rested his forehead on the top of her hair, his lips lightly grazing her brow. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"
"When you said… that you didn't mean anything you said last week. Do you mean that?" Seiya sounded meek.
Perplexed, Usagi still kept her head on his shoulder anyway. Where was he going with this? "Why?"
"I remember, on the elevator, you said that you loved me. Do you take that back too?"
He held such innocence in his voice; she could not help but smile. It suddenly dawned on her that she in fact did slip it in her tirade that she let herself love him. Sitting up slightly, she maintained that huge grin and it her face brightened when her eyes met those of Seiya's.
"No… that's the only thing I meant to say that day."
Seiya returned the smile and gently grabbed her chin. "I love you too, Odango." He planted his lips onto hers for a searing kiss that progressed to full passion rather quickly. The two were rather enjoying themselves too much that when Usagi changed positions, she bumped her purse over which made her cell phone fall out and land loudly on the sidewalk.
Both lip-locked teenagers giggled. "I'll get that." Seiya volunteered.
Apparently the impact of the phone hitting such a hard surface made the device completely light up. When the idol bent down to pick it up, he caught sight of her call history.
"Hey Odango, who's 'ass face' and why does he call so much?"
HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER, I'M DONE! I just wanted to extend a huge appreciation for all those who stuck it out with me and kept up with my updates… as slow as they were. I thank you for your readership and reviews. Y'all helped a bunch.
You haven't seen the last of me. ;)
I love you all!