How Harry Did It

Chapter Three:

Harry decided the Hogwarts Great Hall was a super power unto its own. The ceiling looked like the sky.

When it was his turn for the Sorting, he found himself disappointed that there were indeed no trolls to take down for entry into Hogwarts. Harry could have done it. Totally. Pulling the overly large hat onto his head, he started in surprise when a voice spoke inside his head.

Oh my… very interesting indeed, Mr. Potter. You would do well in Slytherin.

Harry blinked. Why would he do well in Slytherin? What was so great about the house that all the dark wizards came from?

Well, it is full of those with ambition. I can see you have ambition, even if it is… prank oriented.

Harry panicked. He didn't want the hat to spread his secret! He couldn't have that!

I will not tell anyone. Please, stop trying to destroy my enchantment.

Harry blinked. Oh. Sorry hat. So, where you gonna put me? Oh wait, where does everyone expect me to go?

I imagine they think you would do well in Gryffindor, but-

Put me in Slytherin.

The hat paused for a moment before yelling out "SLYTHERIN!"

The school was silent, and Harry grinned as he skipped over to the Slytherin table. He sat across from that stuck up blond he'd tripped on the Hogwarts Express earlier and held out his hand. "Harry Potter," he introduced with a bright smile.

The blond blinked in surprise before shaking the proffered hand. "Draco Malfoy."

"Aaah, I was wondering what the rest of the last name was. You got cut off when you tripped."

The blond's cheeks burned red, and he opened his mouth to say something when the last student, Zabini, was sorted into Slytherin and a man with a long white beard stood at the head table. Harry ignored the blond and turned to watch.

"Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts. Blobber, oddment, and tweak."

Harry grinned when the Headmaster sat back down and food appeared at the tables. He could definitely learn to like the old geezer. He was tempted to start a 'contest of the robes', but figured it would blow his now Slytherin cover.

Too bad.

But then, he could always have someone else be a proxy… An evil smirk twisted his lips as his eyes were magnetically drawn to one Draco Malfoy.

The blond was going to be waking up to an interesting wardrobe the next morning.

Forcing the devious plots from his expression, he adopted a look of complete innocence and avoided his water goblet for the rest of the night. For some reason, scotch had seemed to mysteriously appear in all the student's goblets. Harry took to drinking straight from the pumpkin juice container, as he couldn't be bothered to try to find another glass.

Needless to say, many students got drunk before the teachers figured out what was going on.

And it took the drunk Prefect five minutes to figure out how to pronounce his dreadfully difficult password to a stone wall in the middle of the dungeons.

"Why did he pick such a hard password?" Harry asked innocently to whoever might be listening.

One of the older students, drunk, scoffed. "Likesamake it diffcult for zfirstiez, myeah."

Harry frowned. "Why would he do something like that and then go get smashed?"

He pouted when no one seemed to know the answer.

When they finally got inside, it was to the sight of the sneer of sneers. Harry immediately started bouncing on his feet. His house assignment had put him closer to his mentor of sneers! He inwardly cheered.

He couldn't wait to see SoS's wardrobe spiffed up.

-Toki Mirage-

If you're actually reading this fic, you can thank Spanderholic for this chapter. I was going to go to bed, but he/she was amused. :P