Title: The Significance of Teddy Bears and Sunrise
Summary: Even the darkest of nights give way to sunrise. But while it is dark, a teddy bear can always keep company...though it's nothing compared to the real thing. H/D Slash.
Warnings: AU. Slash, language. Mature content.
A/N: OMG! My second H/D fic! Yea! Review! Yeah! REVISED MAY/2010
Formally: Christmas Without You. Reivsed. Changed a few things...Harry is not at Dursleys.
Gray eyes opened to Christmas Day by a tapping upon his window. Draco tried to tune it out and buried himself deeper into his bed, hoping the stupid noise would go away. Much to his annoyance the tap not only persisted but got more rapid. Draco again tried to ignored it, but the repetitive sound was like the ticking of a clock; you could only ignore it for so long before it drove you mad.
"I'm coming!" the teen grumbled as he threw off the covers and shuffled toward where the annoying sound was coming from. This had better be good! Draco grumbled unintelligibly to himself, still in a state of comatose. Christmas or not, 5am was no time to be getting out of bed. Not unless you are in desperate need of the loo.
Throwing open the window the blond-haired young man shivered at the chill wind and blasting snowflakes. Not a second later, a snowy white owl zipped into the room, nearly taking his head off. Draco recognized the bird immediately. she was really one of a kind- the fact that she belonged to Potter had nothing to do with it. But despite his denial, Draco was suddenly wide awake.
Locking the window shut, Draco turned quickly toward the beautiful bird. The creature had landed on the back of a chair and perched skilfully on one leg while stretching out the other. The owl hooted and shook her head, urging him untie the bag already so she could be rid of her burden.
No longer lethargic, Draco raced over untied the leather bag. He ran his hands over over the snowy feathers before unrolling the letter attached.
Draco snorted and pretended that he wasn't feeling all fuzzy inside. His Draco indeed. Draco Malfoy belongs to nobody. Draco Malfoy is his own man, thank you very much.
Happy Christmas. Wish you were here . Wish I could be with you every day...especially on a day like Christmas. I hope you enjoy your gifts. Please give Hedwig some water. She's made a long trip.
Is your father making you train again? Please take care of yourself and try not to upset him. I don't want to see you hurt. He's not making you take the mark yet is he? Do you have any idea when? Promise me you'll tell me and Dumbledore when you know! If you get the Dark Mark, I'll have to kill you and that be unfortunate...to say the least.
There's plenty here to keep me busy so you needn't worry. I spend most of the day studying spells and training. Snape is a bastard with a capital B.A.S.T.A.R. AND D! It's like he's got a permanent thorn up his arse! At least that is a valid excuse for being a complete prick to everyone in the house. Times are dark enough without him drowning everyone in insults and sarcasm.
Other than that I'm searching the attic for my parent's and Sirius' old stuff-there are a lot of things up here-including the occasional boggart.
I hate boggarts!
Going off a complete tangent...call me a Hufflepuff but, I've been thinking. It is very strange that we should be lovers when we are total opposites in so many ways—there is a Muggle saying that 'opposites attract'. It has something to do with magnetic I think...whatever. Anyway, had you told me a year ago that we'd be together, I'd have been seriously worried about your state of mental health. Still can't believe that this is happening. I love us, Draco. I love being in love. And I never want it to end. Lame, I know...I sound like a girl.
I can't imagine what my friends would say if they knew about us, but more and more I find that I don't care. I think Dumbledore knows...then again he knows a lot of things. Hermione suspects something but there is no way she can guess this. She's been bugging me to tell her.
I'm just not ready to come out yet. Not until Voldemort is gone. Not until I am sure Lucius can't hurt you. Then it's you and me and a heck of a scandal.
Oh! I should say that I am most looking forward to Snape's reaction to our well kept secret. Do you think he'd faint? I would like to think he would—eyes to the back of his head, dropping like a fainting goat, SPLAT, spread-eagle on the ground, out cold.
Then he'd have to start calling me his godson-in-law. HA!
I don't care what anyone says though, least of all Snape.. I want you with me no matter what. For now we should learn to enjoy things the way they are because who knows...with this war and all...a lot could happen. Besides, when will we get another chance to sneak into each other's bed at 2am and have mind-blowing sex grunting and moaning and orgasming under the Silencio?
I still have a whole year left of opportunities to set an ambush and drag you into an unused classroom to snog you silly...or vice versa. Just don't make me late for potions again or Snape'll have my hide and a hundred points from Gryffindor. Not to mention my nights and weekends—which means we can't sneak off.
Unless you want get your cocky self into the lab during detention and fuck me over Blaise's desk.
Draco smirked as he visualized Harry's mischievous face and the fantasy. Now that was a challenge he could not turn away from.
On the bright side, absence can only make the heart grow fonder and mine grows every hour of every day.
Still, I can't wait to see you again and feel your lips on mine...smell your scent...the taste of your...well we'll get to that.
Draco swallowed, just thinking of Harry made him want to wank off. The Slytherin closed his eyes and imagined his Harry right here in this room; his hands, his tongue, his body and stiff hard leaking...
P.S. I miss you.
'I miss you too." Draco thought silently.
'Hoot hoot!' Hedwig hooted and ruffled her feathers.
"What?" Draco said to the owl.
'hoot hoot hoot'
Hedwig bounced her head up and now eagerly. 'Hoot hoot'.
"Alright alright, what are you a parrot?"
Hedwig squawked indignantly and made to nip at his hand.
"OW! Watch it! You oversensitive bird," Draco cried as he nursed his bitten hand. "I don't know what Harry sees in you. You may be pretty, there's no need for all that attitude. "
Hedwig shook her head again and flexed her wings and hooted at him once again.
"Here take you treat and water. And be quiet. If father catches you here there'll be hell to pay," Draco said as he accioed a dormouse from the snowy fields and dropped it onto the floor.
Hedwig hooted quietly in understanding, snatched the prey in her talons and dug into her treat.
Draco moved to his bed and sat down to open the package. Inside were two objects; one was flat wooden box and the other was just a clump of something wrapped in red and gold paper. The Slytherin had to shake his head at that. He just had to fall for a Gryffindor.
Draco, intrigued by the polished wood box opened that first. A silver antique pocket-watch lay in its centre. The teen's mouth opened in surprise.
Not many wizards carried around a pocket-watch. Traditionally it was an item held only by aristocratic old-blooded wizards as evidence of their wealth and ancient nobility. Draco remembered admiring his grandfather's pocket-watch when he was young. His father also had one, custom made by one of the best timekeepers of the century.
Now-a-days a pocket-watch was more of an expensive trinket more than anything else.
A roaring silver dragon traced the hunter case in delicate form. Dusty silver numerals decorated the watch face underneath. It was an intricate and classic design, simple and not laden with pretty gemstones or jewellery. Draco traced his fingers across the detailed, hand-carved engravings—there are just some things that cannot be achieved with magic.
Draco admired the simple beauty of it; in recent years he had learned when to appreciate such things. Setting the instrument under his pillow Draco turned his attention to the other present. Never in his life would Draco have guessed what it was. As the blond tore open the wrappings, he found in his hands a stuffed toy.
A stuffed plush toy.
A stuffed plush cute bear toy.
No! Not cute! Ridiculous, yes. As well as pathetic, trivial, and useless.
What was Potter getting at giving him a teddy bear? Did he think Draco was a child? The Slytherin considered this a personal insult. Draco Malfoy did not play with baby toys and he certainly did not need a bloody teddy bear!
Draco gripped the thing in one hand scowled at its annoying round eyes, its ridiculously large nose and stupid stubby limbs.
A Malfoy does not play with teddy bears.
A Malfoy does not display stuffed animals on his shelves.
A Malfoy certainly does not think of them as cute or adorable or lovable.
A Malfoy does not find any gesture endearing, in fact there is no such vocabulary in their dictionary.
He cursed its soft fluffiness and ears of just the right size.
Draco Malfoy did not like teddy bears.
Only...Draco had never had a teddy bear.
Draco's father had never bought such things for him; he'd thought it was too frivolous a thing. As a small boy Draco had asked his father numerous times, but he'd only managed to earn Lucius' wrath and cane. Playing and children's games were not things the heir of Malfoy took for granted as he was rarely allowed to display himself in such ways. Games like tag or exploding snap were plebeian, Lucius Malfoy much preferred his son to engage in more noble sports such as duelling and activities such as wizards chess. Even Quidditch was no so important in the mind of Malfoy senior, winning and pride was the only reason he allowed Draco to play for his school team.
During Draco's youth, teddy bears and toy trains were replaced by study sets and duelling equipment. Story books and comics were replaced by texts and encyclopaedias. Playtime was replaced by hours of study and training.
Draco read and re-read the letter and smiled. He missed Harry though he'd die before admitting it to anyone.
"Come back in three days," Draco told the owl. "I'l have a letter and package ready for you then." He would use his own, but his father would become suspicious if the owl went missing for a entire day.
Hedwig chirped and flew out when Draco opened the window. The Slytherin watched as the owl blended slowly into the drifting flakes of white.
Taking a deep breath he set plush toy to one side of the desk before sitting and drawling out a piece of parchment, quill, and ink well.
Three days later and far away from Malfoy Manor, Hedwig arrived home to her master who was in the attic cleaning out and searching for objects of interest. Harry was very pleased at how many of his parent's things he found stashed in Grimmauld Place. It turned out that while Godric's Hollow was destroyed, a surprising amount of small treasures survived.
The people of Surrey thought it was strange; a white Christmas was rare in these parts of England. For Harry though, it was a telling of something to come. Whether it would be good or bad though, he did not know.
Harry looked up when he heard a tapping sound on the window and smiled when he saw Hedwig with a rolled up parchment in her talons - a reply from Draco. He could see that she had something else in her talons as well - a gift from Draco perhaps? They Gryffindor dropped everything in his hand and retrieved the letter from the bird's leg.
"What took you so long girl? I was beginning to worry."
Hedwig hooted that it was not her fault and nudged Harry beneath the chin as he stroked her a few times. Once rid of her burden, the creature flew off to get in a good nap before the nightly hunt.
Harry was so ecstatic he nearly tore the letter. Draco hadn't forgotten about him. Nobody seemed to have time for him these days. Ron and Hermione were too busy with each other, the twins were busy with their shop and everyone else were busy with Order business and the war. Harry rather liked the quiet uneventfullness, though it did get dull at times.
It was Harry's seventh and last year at Hogwarts. Normally Harry would be spending Christmas at Hogwarts and having a great time going to Hogsmeade. But due to events surrounding the war students were were sent home for the holidays. After what happened during Halloween it was feared that Voldemort would use the happy season to lay siege once again. Last time, Hogwarts had lost three students, a professor and a dozen people were gravely injured. It was chaos trying to organize hundreds of children during the attack—even Moaning Myrtle had fled her stall and retreated to the dungeons along with everyone else.
Harry spent free time exploring Grimmauld Place and pillaging the attic for mementos. For most of the day though he could be found studying magic and training. The training was intense and very harsh but Harry felt more sorry for poor Draco than for himself. The young Malfoy heir had to spend his holidays at Malfoy Manor, also training, but to become a Death Eater.
Harry had made up his mind to face Voldemort come summer. There was only one Horcrux left to be destroyed and Dumbledore and the Order were closing in fast. Once only one piece of soul is left, Harry would finish Voldemort once and for all.
Potter, the letter began and Harry rolled his eyes wondering when Draco would start calling him Harry.
Happy Christmas indeed. Your bird just bit me! Why don't you get a goldfish or puffskein; they're much more gentle creatures.
Not much of a Christmas though. Father is killing me with his drills, he has me learning the darkest magic known to modern wizards. I can't wait to get out of here. And no, don't worry; father isn't planning on having me take the mark just yet.
Actually he doesn't think I am yet 'worthy of Death Eater status' and have not yet 'earned the right to such glory.' Give me a break! Who's he trying to kid? As if kneeling and kissing the robes of a crazy egomaniac is remotely 'rewarding' or 'glorious'.
I am trying to keep him satisfied but father is rarely, if ever, satisfied with me. He has me practicing on animals right now; the other day I had to skin a hare while keeping it alive. It died. It was only a hare but I just...yes well..father was displeased. He said that at this rate I won't ever get to torture a Muggle. The way he says it, it sounds as if that's a privilege!
However, there is no need to worry your fragile Gryffindor bottom over it. I am fine. My sadistic so called father only gave me three with the cane...and demanded that I succeed next time if I don't want to make it thirty. Really, Potter, I can take care of myself. I'll think of something. I am a Slytherin after all; cunning, ambitious and well focused on self preservation unlike 'some' people.
Stop complaining about Severus, you don't know anything about him. You realize his is my godfather? You are such a hypocrite, Potter. Did you already forget how you forbid me to insult Weasley and Granger? I haven't spoken one ill thing about them for months and now it is your turn. Do not speak ill of Severus again. He is one of the bravest man I know, I respect him a great deal and so should you!
I must admit that I, as well, detest boggarts. But they are nothing I can't handle, you on the other hand I'm worry about.
Dibs on the firebolt if it eats you!
Also, you better believe this is happening. We. Are. Lovers. You are mine and I am yours. Sheesh, one would think you've never been in a relationship before. Who cares about strange, all I care about is you; my cock, your arse.
Don't get all sentimental on me though; you know I don't do sentimental. So take your sayings and idioms and make a bonfire.
As for friends, well I can't say I have many trustworthy ones, since most of them are in love with power and the Dark Lord. So there's no point in telling any of them. Anyway...did you say that that Dumbledore knows about us! How the hell does he know about us? Egh...as if I don't have enough to deal with already. As for Granger, she should mind her own bloody business. Got her own 'sweetheart' hasn't she, that Weasley? She should keep an eye on that one.
For once I have to agree with you. Father would be most displeased if he were to find out you and I are sexually involved.
Harry chuckled...sexually indeed.
And you know, he might kill me and all. I am too gorgeous to die. 'Sides, can't leave you all by yourself now can I. Where would you be without me?
I too am looking forward to Severus' reaction. I'm sure it'll make my day. And what's this about 'godson-in-law'? You make it sound as if we're married or something.
You do make a valid point about the detention thing though—I shall endeavour not to get you into too much trouble.
But if Severus catches us over Blaise's desk then it's everybody for himself.
Fonder my arse. I don't think I can get any fonder of you than I already am so...yeah.
YOU GOT ME A TEDDY BEAR! POTTER I AM SO GETTING YOU BACK FOR THIS. THIS HAD BETTER BE A JOKE. MALFOYS DO NOT PLAY WITH BABY TOYS! WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOSE TO DO WITH A TEDDY BEAR? BRING IT TO BED WITH ME? CUDDLE IT AND SEEK COMFORT? PUT IT ON DISPLAY TO BE ADMIRED BY MY SADISTIC FATHER AND THE HORDE OF DEATH EATERS THAT GO IN AND OUT OF THE HOUSE EVERY DAY? WHERE DO YOU SUPPOSE I HIDE THE DAMN THING? UNDER MY PILLOW?
Harry smirked a bit. He had been quite taken off guard by the sudden capital letters, but if Draco wanted to hide it then it mean that he was keeping it. Draco wasn't a packrat by a long shot, if he did not like a certain thing then he promptly gave or threw it away. And Draco hadn't said that he didn't like it.
On that note, thank you for the timepiece, it is under my pillow as we speak. Where did you find it?
WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, POTTER!
When I get my hands on you, you're arse is mine!
P.S. FINE I LIKE IT HAPPY NOW?
Pps: I AM NOT YOUR TEDDY BEAR! If it makes you feel better I'll say this; you're not alone, unlike me you've got true family and friends beside you. And you've got me too, I'm right here.
ppps. Enjoy your gift you son of a sentimental Gryffindor!
Harry smiled looking at what Draco had written.
Draco was right. It didn't matter that they were not together, physically. Draco was right here with him, in this letter he held in his hands. Draco was present in this room, in his heart. And Draco will always be with him, no matter how far apart they are and no matter what obstacles stand in their way they will always be together...
Harry tore open the wrappings and found himself looking at his very own teddy bear. The teen looked fondly at it. Now he got an idea of how Draco must have felt at getting a plushie to for Christmas; it was ridiculous at their age to be fond of such things. If they were five years old or girls, maybe but alas, they were not.
Harry and Draco was similiar in this aspect; neither of them had a teddy bear while growing up.
Harry smiled. Thank you, Draco, it's lovely.
"Harry! Harry, are you up in the attic again?" a voice called, Harry recognized it as that of Mrs. Weasley. "Come down for supper, dear, and don't forget to wash your hands."
"Coming!" Harry called back. He gently folded the letter and put it inside his pocket. Closing the lid of the trunk he'd been searching, Harry made his way downstairs to his friends and family. As for the teddy bear, Harry carried it with him downstairs and if anyone asked he'd say it was in the trunk full of this mother's things.
The Gryffindor couldn't help but wonder how they would react if he'd told them the truth; that the bear was from Draco and they were really secret lovers and had been shagging for months and months. A part of him says that he wouldn't care, that what he felt for Draco was strong enough to withstand disapproval from anyone. In truth, Harry didn't think he'd bare disapproval of his friends and family. The thing he feared most was that he'd have to choose between Draco and them.
Harry hoped that they would understand and perhaps in time, accept Draco into the clan.
But there was still a war to be won before Harry and Draco could worry about love. The dark times have returned; Voldemort was moving fast and killing more often than Grindelwald before him. For those who lived through the first war, it was a horrifying daja vu, only this time things were far worse than imaginable.
For now, each of the two lover had their own destinies to distress over- Harry to fullfill his and Draco to somehow get out of his of becoming a Death Eater. Neither of them choose their destinies, but it was their choice whether to go along with authority or fight it tooth and nail.
Times are dark and getting darker, however, a single candle can extinguish darkness. And even the darkest of nights give way to sunrise.
In the mean time, teddy bears keep great company.
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