My Son...

by Rice-Ball247

Quick Note: A few things have been disregarded from canon. Since I can't be arsed to do the math, we'll say that Teddy is the same age as Harry, Ron and Draco. Lucius, Arthur, Sirius and Remus have began a friendship after the war. This is the result.

Warning: implied slash for TL/HP, RW/HP, DM/HP and SS/HP. You've been warned, please don't complain.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any affiliated characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit, other than the odd review or two, from this fic. This is a joke-based fic, once again. You can see the joke at the bottom of the page.


The end of The War had brought along many changes. With Voldemort's tyranny finished, many of the loose Death Eaters had been caught and apprehended. The Ministry of Magic had undergone an enormous overhaul, electing Kingsley Shacklebolt as the new Minister. Those who were allied with the Dark Lord, but had helped in the war effort, were absolved to certain degrees.

Finally, the Wizarding World had released a collective sigh of relief. Pureblood statuses were no longer of significant importance. What mattered was that the passing down of Magical Knowledge was upheld. Surprisingly, it had been the Malfoy family who were the first to join the new movement.

Therefore, it came as no surprise when four middle aged men decided to get together one bright and sunny Sunday afternoon for a friendly game of golf. Lucius Malfoy, Arthur Weasley, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin had somehow fostered a tentative friendship, which was growing steadily (disregarding the fact that Remus and Sirius were already the best of friends).

When they arrived at the golf course, Sirius excused himself from the group to take a call from his godson, Harry Potter. While he was gone, the three other men began to talk about lighter topics to pass the time.

"Such a shame that Severus couldn't be here. Last I heard was that he finally popped the question to his partner," Lucius said lightly. "Of course, being such a private person, I have no idea who this 'partner' is, or that they even existed."

After that, they moved onto other topics and began to discuss their children while they waited for Sirius to show up.

Remus Lupin began speaking of his son, Theodore 'Teddy' Lupin. "Teddy sure is making quite the name for himself. He started out as a local real estate agent. Now, he owns his own firm. In fact, he gave a good friend of his a brand new house, within the past six months as a gift!"

The other two men looked pleasantly surprised, but then Arthur, not to be outdone, said, "That's nice, Remus. Though I must say, I'm quite proud of how far my youngest son, Ronald, has come. He started out as a local broom salesman. He now owns a chain of luxury broom dealerships. In fact, he gave two new top-of-the-line brooms to a good friend of his, as a gift within the past six weeks!"

Remus raised a brow, "Indeed, young Ron has come a long way." Both men turned to Lucius, who sat patiently under the shade of their outdoor umbrella. "What about you, Lucius? How's Draco?"

Lucius smirked. "I'm glad you asked. Draco decided he wanted to start out on his own two feet. He postponed his inheritance and refused any help from myself or his mother. He began as a lowly stock broker, but now owns his own stock broker firm."

"That's great, Lucius!" Remus stated sincerely. He was proud of his ex-students.

Lucius gave them a smug smirk, just to prove that he hadn't changed much from the Lucius Malfoy they knew too well. "Draco has been so successful on his own; he even gave a good friend of his a big stock portfolio as a gift, just the other day."

Arthur's jaw dropped as Remus spluttered. "He did what?!"

At this point, Sirius had finally finished his call and returned to the group with their equipment and some quick refreshments. "Hey guys. Thought I'd get the stuff while I was there. Sorry I took so long."

"It's alright, Sirius. We were just talking about how successful our kids have become. How's Harry doing?" Lucius queried.

Sirius paused in the process of handing out equipment to each man and grimaced. "Well... not that I'm against it or anything... but I'm not very proud of what Harry's done. I suppose I should just come out with it. I learned just six months ago that Harry's gay, and used his inheritance to open a hair salon."

Before Lucius, Arthur or Remus could respond, Sirius continued, "I'm not ashamed of that, because he's grown to be independent, somewhat. But, y'know, he must be good at what he does, because his last three boyfriends have given him a new house, two brand new brooms and a big stock portfolio."

He was clearly upset about the phone call he'd just received that he missed the absolute incredulousness that passed over the other men's faces. "But after dumping them, he then went and got himself hitched to Snape of all people! Just found out today!"

End!


The Joke:

One bright and sunny Sunday afternoon, 4 middle-aged men decide to go down to the local golf course and play.

When the men arrive to the course, the 4th guy gets a call, and decides to take it.

While the 4th guy is gone, the other 3 begin talking about their children while waiting for the man to return.

The first man said, "My son is making a name for himself. He started as a local real estate agent. He now owns his own firm. In fact, he gave a good friend of his a brand new house within the past 6 months, as a gift."

The second man, not to be out done, said, "Oh yeah? Well, my son started out as a local car salesman. He now owns a chain of luxury car dealerships. In fact, he gave 2 new cars to a good friend, as a giftl within the past 6 weeks."

The third man, definately not to be outdone, said, "Oh yeeaahh? Welll. My son started out as a lowly stock broker, but he now owns his own stock broker firm. He even gave a good friend of his a big stock portfolio as a gift."

By this time, the fourth man has returned. The first guy says, "We were just talking about how successful our kids have become. What about yours?"

The guy responds, "I'm not very proud of my son. I learned just 6 months ago that my son is gay, and that he owns a hair salon." Before the other 3 men could say anything in disgust, the guy adds-on, "But he must be good at what he does, because his last the boyfriends have given him a new house, 2 brand new cars, and a big stock portfolio."