PS: please excuse any typos, I try to make these as accurate as I can as far as grammar and spelling, but at f our a.m. you sometimes miss a spot or two.
Austin wandered the halls of the high school aimlessly. She didn't really know where she wanted to go. School wasn't the best place for her, but she didn't want to go home. Home was hell for her now, she never wanted to be there, but she didn't really have anywhere else to go. At 15 she couldn't get a job yet, not for another year. She did dance, but classes ended last week. She wasn't that into sports, she was good at them, but there were too many other people she'd have to communicate with. Austin didn't have many friends, and stayed alone too much. She never went on a date, never even had a boyfriend or kissed someone. There wasn't anything wrong with her looks, she was in shape, since she danced, she had long wavy dark brown hair and big hazel eyes. Her personality...it wasn't as beautiful as she was on the outside. She had a lot of anger problems, she shut everyone out, never bothered to make a friend, never bothered to flirt. She would walk into homeroom every day, with her head down, studying or drawing, leave to her next class as soon as the bell rang, and so on and so forth. The other kids at school just stopped trying to talk to her, and stopped teasing her about being "weird", they learned their lesson last year, when someone called her some unrepeatable names. She wound up snapping, going completly crazy and beat the shit out of the guy, who was about 3 times bigger than her, he was on the football team. She was a good student, made all A's. All she did at home was study, because thats the only time she could get alone. Her father always pushed for her to be a good student. He always pushed her to do a lot of things, constantly comparing her to his older children, her brothers.
"Heh, my brothers" she shook her head at the memory she kept trying to erase. "Some brothers they are..."
She walked out of the front doors to the school and down the stairs. She noticed the lingering students giving her looks and heard a few snickers and whispers. She raised her head to glare at them and they hurried down the street in the opposite direction. She turned to her left and headed home. Hopefully she could get home before her father did, and clean up the house, make dinner for him and lock herself in her bedroom for the night. When she arrived home, she saw she was too late, her fathers beat up truck was in the driveway. She contemplated not going in the house, but it was getting late, and he would be sure to call the cops if she wasn't home by dark. She had ran away so many times before, the police often stopped and asked her what she was up to when she was walking to and from school. She took a deep breath and opened the front door with an unsteady hand. Her father was sitting in his chair, where he often was when he wasn't outside in the garage working on something or another. He looked up at his daughter, she looked like she always did...head down, hair in her face, skinny as a rail.
"Does this child ever eat?" he asked himself as he picked up the beer resting on the coffee table.
"Hey Daddy" she mumbled
"Where the hell have you been?" he asked slamming the beer on the table after taking a sip
"School, Daddy, I have a project due soon" she never looked up
"Well, thats the one good thing about you, you do well in school." he grumbled
She just blinked the tears out of her eyes and walked into the kitchen, setting her bookbag on the chair. She slid off her oversized grey hoodie. She put it on the chair, but didn't notice when it slid to the floor. She began cooking dinner. When it was done she made her dads plate and set it on the table, then told him it was time to eat.
"Its about damn time" he snapped as he rose from the chair, grabbing his empty beer bottle off the table and walking into the kitchen.
He looked down and saw Austin's hoodie on the floor. He picked it up and looked at it for a moment, realizing it was one that his oldest son had given to her for Christmas two years ago.
"Is this how you were raised to treat your belongings, child" he boomed.
She jumped at the sound of her fathers voice, and dropped the beer she was opening for him. It spilled all over the counter as she swore under her breath.
"Your just fucking worthless arent you, brat? You will never be like your brothers!" he walked up behind her and grabbed her hair, yanking her around to look him in the eyes.
Her eyes....they were a mixture of his sons.
"I'm sorry Daddy, it slipped" she said, her voice trembling.
"Your right your fucking sorry. Your nothing but a fuck up" he said, still holding her hair tightly
"Stop saying that!" she screamed "Stop trying to force me to be like them!"
He slapped her across the face and threw her to the floor as he continued yelling about how her brothers made something of themselves, how they were somebody. She just laid there listening to his words pounding into her head. She didn't care that he had hit her, or hurt her by pulling her hair. She was immune to physical pain. The words hurt the worst though. He grabbed her by the back of her tshirt and drug her to her room, threw her in and slammed the door shut. She just laid on her bed and stared at the ceiling. There she saw them. The people she had been compared to her into life, the people she had idolized since she was born, the people who abandoned her when she was 7 years old to go off on their own and be someone, the people that blamed her for their mothers death. That last thought made tears well up in her eyes as she turned over to look at the picture of the woman she had on her bedside table.
"Mom" she whispered "Mom why did you have to leave.....what am i saying, it wasnt your fault....you didn't give yourself cancer...."
She turned back over and wiped the tears from her eyes. She looked back up at the poster on her her brothers....Matt and Jeff Hardy. She stared at them, replaying the stories, and memories in her head...
January, 1987...Raleigh General Hospital, North Carolina.
The scene was a frantic one. A woman on the hospital bed's blood pressure was dropping fast, she was in and out of conciousness. A man sat outside, with two young boys, aged 10 and 13. Nurses and doctors kept running in and out. This was a rare case, a pregnant woman, in labor, dying from a cancerous brain tumor.
"Is Mommy going to be okay?" the younger boy looked up at his father with his big green eyes
"I dont know, Jeffie....we just have to pray. Pray that her and your sister will be okay"
"Why did Mom have to have that stupid baby anyway" the oldest boy said, kicking the wall with his shoe
"Matthew Moore Hardy, that is no way to talk. Your mother wanted another baby so badly, she was not going to have an abortion just because she was sick" the man snapped
"But she's dying, Dad. DYING. That baby will kill her!" Matt said more angry than sad
"Son, we dont know why things happen, but they do. Your mother is a strong, brave, selfless woman. All she cares about is her children, including that baby in there"
"She should care about US, the kids she KNOWS, the ones she'll leave behind"
"Matthew that is enough, sit down and be quiet" the older man ordered.
The boy sat, and folded his arms. The younger child laid on his fathers shoulder staring at the floor. A few moments later, they saw a nurse running out with a bundle of pink blanket in her arm. The man rose and asked her what was going on. She stopped and turned around to show him the baby. A little girl,who wasn't crying, but looked healthy and beautiful. His heart stopped, and tears welled up in his eyes.
"Is she okay?" he asked
"She is fine, she cried for a moment but she settled. We need to get her downstairs to NICU and have her cleaned up and run some tests. There was a lot of strain and pressure during birth" she said as she rushed to the elevator
He turned around to walk back to his sons when a doctor came out, and motioned him to the side.
"It doesn't look good, she lost a lot of blood and her blood pressure is low. Delivery took too much out of her. I'm sorry, but I think you may need to come say your goodbyes"
The man hung his head and walked to the boys and took them by their hands, and led them into the room.
They had covered the woman up, keeping her warm. The boys rushed to their mothers side and laid on her,
carefully. She opened her eyes slightly, and tried to lift her hands to hold them. The man moved to help her put her hands on the boys backs. He rubbed her forehead, brushing the hair of of her face. She didn't want khemo. She knew fighting wasn't going to do any good, especialy when the doctor told her that without being pregnant she had about a year to live, but with being 4 months pregnant and diagnosed with cancer,
she knew there was no chance. Afer a long talk with her husband, they decided whatever happened would happen, and they would keep the baby no matter what.
"Daddy" the woman whispered in her soft, southern accent that her children loved to hear, calling her husband by the name she had called him since Matt was born. "Hows the baby?"
"Shes fine, beautiful, like her mother" he smiled down at her
"Take care of her. Shes a miracle"
"I will, Ruby, I will"
"Mommy dont leave us" Jeff wailed into his mothers shoulder
"Jeffie, its time for me to go on to Heaven, God needs me there"
"But we need you here!" Matt said, not understanding
"Matthew, you don't question God when He calls for you to come home" she said softly as she closed her eyes, her breathing quickening.
"Mommy?" the boys said together
"Shhh...." she said "I love you boys. So much. You do Momma a favor, and you take care of your baby sister. Be the big brothers I know you can be. Promise?"
"I promise!" Jeff said, wanting to make his mother happy
"Matthew, your mother asked you a question"
"I promise, mom" he mumbled
She held them as tight as her frail hands could, and took her last breath. The heart monitor flat lined and a few tears slipped down their fathers face, but he quickly wiped them away, and gathered his sons into his arms as they cried uncontrollably. Doctors rushed in, and asked them to step outside. He carried his boys out and held onto them as tight as he could. He looked them both in the eyes and wiped the tears from their faces, soothing them.
"Boys....your mother is in Heaven now. She isn't hurting anymore, she isn't suffering. She is healthy, and happy.
You understand me?"
"Yes sir" they said
"Now, Momma wanted us to move on, and to take care of that baby, so thats what we're going to do."
"Yes sir" they said again.
March, 1992 "Matty! Matty!" Austin yelled as she ran as fast as a four year old could to catch up to her brother.
"Go away" he said, walking through their backyard faster
"Matty where are you going?"
"Matty can I come?"
"NO" he said, turning around and pushing her down.
"HEY! I'm telling!" She wailed as she ran back into the house looking for her father. She found Jeff instead.
"Whats wrong, baby girl?" he said gathering her in his arms.
"Matty pushed me" she pouted
"He didnt mean to, sweetie."
"Yes he did, hes mean to me all the time"
"I know....I know." Jeff said holding her tightly in his arms.
Matt had never gotten over his mothers death. He blamed Austin for it, and never wanted to have anything to do with her. He held the anger in, and just tried to pretend she wasn't there. Jeff on the other hand tried his best to do what his mother's last wish was: love his sister, and be the best brother he could. He was still confused, and hurt, but he knew it wasnt little Austin's fault.
"I love you Jeffie" she said, wrapping her little arms around his neck.
"I love you too, Austin" he said
The 14 year old put his sister down in front of the t.v. and turned on Barney. He then went out to find his brother. He found him by the little stream behind their old country home.
"You have to stop blaming Austin for this. Even if Mom had an abortion, Matt, she still would have died"
"Shut up" Matt said
"Well, she would have"
"SHUT UP" The strong 17 year old said as he threw a rock at his brother, barley missing him.
He ran to the trampoline and started jumping on it, doing flips. Thats how he forgot the memories and the pain. He wrestled on his high school team, and dreamed of being in the WWF. Jeff did too.
May, 1994 "Where are you going?" six year old Austin asked, peeking around the corner as she watched her brothers pack their bags.
"We're going to wrestle, Austin" Jeff told her
The sixteen year old was brilliant, and graduated a year , now 19, graduated a year ago and had gone on the road as a jobber doing small wrestling gigs here and there. Now they were joining the WWF. Which meant they were leaving went over to his sister, as she stared up at him with her hazel eyes. They were a mix of her brothers: Jeff's were green, Matt's were brown. She had a lot of both of the boys in her. Matts hair, Jeff's face and smile, both of the boys athleticism and talent. He bent down on his knees and looked at her, as she stared back at him.
"We're going away for awhile, kid. Gonna go make you and Daddy some extra money, and we're gonna be famous."
"I dont want you to go away" She said as she threw her arms around his neck.
He held her, half rolling his eyes. He had done better the last two years trying to love his sister and stop blaming her for what had happened, but he still didn't feel close to her at all, not like she and Jeff were.
"Please dont leave. I dont want you to leave! I need you here" she began crying
Jeff's heart broke in half, it felt like, watching his sister cry and beg like that. She idolized her brothers, like
any small girl would. They took care of her, practicaly raised her while their dad worked trying to support them.
They would get her up and ready for school during kindergarten, and take her, and pick her up. They basically did everything for her. They were her entire world, and she didn't like that it was being ripped away from her.
He went over and knelt beside Matt, putting his arm around both his siblings. They held each other as Austin cried, and begged more. Matt finally handed her to Jeff who held and soothed her.
"We'll always be here for you, we love you. We'll never leave you, baby girl."
Austin woke up drenched in sweat. She had fallen asleep staring at the poster of her brothers. She had dreamnt about the events that had happened, true events, that she heard the stories of, and remembered herself.
"We'll always be here for you.....we'll never leave you" Jeff's words played over and over in her head.
"Yeah right", she said.
She looked at the clock. 4:30 a.m. it read.
"Great...another night of lost sleep" she sat up in her bead and started to read a book.
She read until she heard her father stumbling around the hallway, then heard her door handle jiggling. She closed the book
and laid down, hoping that if her father thought she was asleep, he'd leave her walked into Austin's room,
and sat on the end of her bed. She didnt make a sound, but silently screamed "just go away". He studied the girl, shaking his head.
"Where did i go wrong? What did i do?" he asked himself.
He rose from the bed, and picked up a blanket to cover her with. He tucked her in and bent down to kiss her forehead.
He quietly walked out of her room, and closed the knew her father loved her, but she also knew he had a
lot of anger and missed his wife, and she knew she wasn't what anyone expected her to be. Here she was, the sister of two
superstars, two of the youngest, best wrestlers of all time, and what was she? Nothing. And she knew it.
She laid in her bed staring at the ceiling, but not at her poster...it was too dark to see anything. Her alarm went off an hour later, and she got up to get ready for another day at school. Her dad had already left for work, so she walked around the house, half dressed, getting herself ready for the day slowly. She only had two more weeks to go before school was out, which she was dreading. Two and a half months at home, alone. Great.