I was looking through some old things I wrote a long time ago on my old pen names, and I found this poem I did when I was 17. It was written under my pen name, "Whisperer in the Wind." It's a spoof on Lord of the Rings, and it's super funny. I was dying reading it. I thought I'd post it to give you something to read while you're waiting for me to update The Storm. (Sorry it's taking so long. See my profile message board for details on when I'll be updating) Let me know what you think, and please remember, I was 17...

Something Smells in Rivendell

Far far away in Rivendell

There lives an elf who really smells

That's why you'll see on everyone's nose

A pin that surely keeps them closed

Today they're having a council of men,

Elves, and dwarfs and hobbit friends

In the center there's a ring

But that's not the point of this thing

They've come together, on fair terms of course

But the council needs to find the source

"It's must be a dwarf," one elf said

Said the dwarf, "Any shorter and I'd cut off your head"

"Patience dear dwarf" the leader commanded

"No need at all to be repremanded

We must now all come together

Today we shall be birds of a feather

The fellowship must set out and seek

Why my kingdom really reeks."

Many nods, and ho's and hums

Came from the council member's tongues

So they set out that very day

And Aragorn chose the way

They searched so hard, and Gandalf died

And always Frodo Sam would eye

Gollum jumped and spat and kicked

He was no use, so they left him tied to a stick

Legolas could not stop shooting his bow

He shot a dwarf, an elf, a crow

Merry and Pippin disapeared

And came back later drunk from beer

Gimli was crushed by a tree

"Stupid, stupid ax!" claimed he

Bill the pony said, "Forget all this!"

And left the fellowship to make a wish

For a female pony, that was his plee

But she didn't show, poor poor pony!

Eventually when they all cooled down

And sat together on the ground

They made a very, very smart plan

To find the very stinky man

And so they set out and found the stench

But to their suprise it was a wench!

"Arwen!" they all cried in the same style

And there she sat cooking something vile

"What?" she asked so confused

Said Aragorn, "I feel so used."

"Dang you stink," said the elf

"We should put her on a shelf."

Said Frodo to the raven haired one

"Oh my gosh, what have you done?"

"I don't understand," she asked quite hurt

"Why do you smell?" Did Pippin blurt

"Oh that," she said with little care

"Here let me show you, pull out a chair.

It's not me, you are quite wrong,

But I've invented a stink bomb.

So when you go on the quest of the ring

You can clear out orcs and other things.

And I'll use mine to rid that blond

That wants my man, they'll make no bond.

She'll pay I swear, and she's wrong if she thinks

She'll get a boyfriend if she stinks!"

They all stared quite amazed

And watched her in a hazy daze

"O.K" said Boromir rather slow

Then Elrond looked and said, "Perfect, let's go!"

Then said Frodo, "We'll surely win

With Arwen's stink bomb, and perfect skin."

They all eyed him with suspicion,

"Hey, can't a hobbit go on wishin?"