Expelliamus! : The Crazy HP/DW Crossover

Written by Nadie Evanescence & Canadian Monkey

Disclaimer: There is no way on Earth or any other planet in this universe that we own the great Harry Potter or the brilliant Doctor Who. We wish we did though. Sigh.


Chapter One

The world was going to end at the Globe Theatre. Thousand upon thousand of Carrionites were escaping into the world to create havoc upon the world, and the only three people who could stop this disaster were a playwright, a medical student, and a time-traveling alien in Converses. The trio seemed to speak to each other with much yelling until the playwright began a speech that was sure to stir the coldest of hearts. Then, he had speaker's block.

Human civilization say hello to the Rapture.

"Um, Um….," Shakespeare stammered as more aliens escape. He couldn't find a rhyming word.

Suddenly, a light bulb appeared but above the wrong person's head.

"Expelliamus!" Martha exclaimed.


Out of nowhere, a teenage boy in robes appeared. His hair was ratty and his glasses were cheap. A lighting bolt was etched across his forehead.

"Hey, that's my line! You stole it!" the boy accused and pointed childishly at Martha. Martha's eyes grew wide as she recognized the whining teenager as Harry Potter.

Shakespeare, obviously, had no clue who Harry Potter was or the "expelliamus". "I believe you are mistaken. That word is Ms. Jones's word."

"Oh my gosh! You are a literary character! I mean I've seen stranger things than this. Those rhinos were something else but you. You can't be real!" Martha continued to babble and point at Harry like a confused child for a few more minutes. It seemed like the adventures of the day finally took a toll on her with the appearance of the wizard.

After her rant, an award silience appeared with no one knowing how to respond to the situation at hand. Even the aliens halted their escape to observe this strange happening. Everyone was confused expect Harry who was just mad. He was standing there with his arms crossed and his lips in a childish pout as he impatiently waited through the whole speech. Now, Harry wanted to take action.

"Well, I am real, and I am going to prove it!" He reached into his robes and pulled out a long, wooden stick. "I'm going to bring the person who can prove that you stole my word! Accio Rowling!"

With a poof, a blonde, middle-aged woman materialized in the middle of the stage. Her hair was frazzled, and she was dressed in a pair of pjs with little witches flying with broomsticks all over. It took her a moment to realize she wasn't in Edinburgh anymore, then, she began to turn around and look at her surroundings. Luckily, she looked at the stage first and not at the aliens floating above the stage. If she did, the poor woman would have fainted, and no one wants that comedic action to happen to an unfortunate being taken out of her bedroom by a childish teenage wizard.

A few seconds into her evaluation, she shouted loudly to herself, "Well, this is bloody perfect! How did I end up here?"

Harry puffed his chest out proudly, "Well, that is simple, Mrs. Rowling. I poofed you here."

J. K. Rowling snapped around to see a raven-haired boy in tattered roves with a lighting bolt scar. Her face drastically paled as her eyes grew to the size of the moon. She screamed out in terror and instantly fainted with a comical thud.

Poor J.K., I guess some things were meant to be.

A/N: And that was the first chapter. Love it or hate it. It's our first one so be as nice as you can, but if you really don't like us tell us. We'll just cry into our glasses of milk.