A/N: This isssss.... a story of a girl. That cried a river and drowned the world.. lol I'm just kidding (guess where I got that from) (Have you ever noticed how they literally "cry a river" in animes... just a thought). This is a little one shot about JP that has been in my head for a while and I thought it would be funny to write it down. Here goes.
JP and the Uneatable Sandwich
"JP!" Mr. Shibayama called his son.
"Yes?" JP came tumbling down the staircase. He finally landed on the bottom step with a deer in the headlights look on his face.
"JP, try not to hurt yourself." His dad continued. "Well, me and your mother are going to a meeting so your in charge."
"Aye aye, Captain!" JP saluted his father as if he was in the navy.
"After all, your the only child." JP's mother interjected.
"And another thing before we go. We're are expecting a very important package so what ever you do don't miss it." His father sounded a little serious now.
"What's in it?" JP asked.
"Uhm... some money." Mr. Shibayama saw his sons questioning eyes, "About 10 thousand."
"TEN THOUSAND!" JP fell of his feet, literally.
"YES! So don't mess this up." He threatened, friendly (oxymoron)
"And if you get hungry-" his mother started to say.
"Mom! I know how to feed my self..." he couldn't believe his mom would suggest to him what to do if he was hungry, after all look at him. He looks well fed.
"Ok..." she and her husband both headed for the door. That was when she started singing, "My little frosty doughnut... sitting in doughnut tree.... my little frosty doughnut... jumping on a trampoline..."
"Mom!" JP felt mortified. She always sang that song to tease him and it worked.
"What? You use to love that song." she reminded him.
"Yeah, like when I was five years old."
"Aw. Now your all grown up." she continued to tease him.
"Alright! Alright. We'll be leaving now." both her and her husband left out the door.
JP watched as they pulled out of the garaged in there van and drove off.
"Man, I need to lose some weight!" he muttered. "Ouch! I think I bumped my head too hard falling down the stairs." he rubbed the back of his head as he walked off to the kitchen to get something to eat.
Man I'm hungry! Maybe I should make a sandwich... a BIG sandwich, JP thought in his head.
He made his way into the kitchen and started opening the refrigerator, when all of a sudden the doorbell rang.
"Hmm... they came already?" he thought as he walked towards the door. He opened it, but to his surprise no one was there.
"O...K? If your going to ring the doorbell at least stay until I open it... morons." JP muttered under his breath.
He walked back into the kitchen and resumed back to making his sandwich. He brought out all the ingredients that was needed.
"Bread. Lettuce. Tomatoes. Cheese. Baloney... aaand Onions. Yum!" he was reviewing over his mental list as he placed each item on the counter.
"It takes a real man to wear pink." he said to himself after he put on his pink apron. "Today I'll be making a wonderful dish called, the Sandwich!" He was speaking in a high pitch, old lady voice that her heard on one of those cooking channels. "Now first you poop the bread on the plate..." he placed the bread on the plate, "Then you lather it with what ever you like..." he started placing the baloney and the cheese in a graceful and artistic way on the bread.
"Never rush art..." he mumbled. "Now that I've done that I will carefully cut the lettuce and tomatoes with such precision..." he started cutting the tomatoes and lettuce ever-so gently and elegantly. "Not bad for manly hands." he continued rambling to himself in his high pitch voice.
Meanwhile, the phone rang abruptly. JP rushed over to the phone like a secretary.
"Hello?" he was still speaking in his falsetto, "Um I mean HELLO!" he corrected his voice.
"Uuuuuh... is this the Shibayama house hold?" the speaker asked.
"Yeeees?" JP sounded inquisitive as he raised up his knife to examine it.
"Well I'm with the local shipping company and I'm calling to let you know your package is on its way."
"Oh. Ok. Thank you." JP hung up the phone and rushed back to his work-of-art sandwich. "Now where was I? Oh yes..." he started speaking high pitch again, "I almost forgot. You can not have a sand-wich without.... MAYO. Also known as mayonnaise; in Spanish, mayonesa." he was getting obnoxious with his high pitch accent and random facts about mayonnaise.
Suddenly the door rang. "Wow that was quick" JP walked over to the door only to see it wasn't who he expected.
"Hey Buddy!" Takuya waved at him at the door.
JP sulked, "What do you want?"
"I was just coming to stop by."
"OK then! You stopped.... Now BYE!" JP closed the door and went back to the kitchen. The door rung again.
"What does he want?" JP was getting frustrated as he opened the door again.
"I wanted to ask you something." Takuya pleaded.
"You came all the way over here to ask me something?" JP was getting impatient.
"Why are you wearing a pink apron?"
JP closed the door on him again. Before he could take one step away the doorbell rang again.
"WHAT!" JP yelled as he swung open the door.
Kouji was at the door next to Takuya.
"Kouji has something to ask you." Takuya admitted as he slapped Kouji on the back.
"Why... are you.... so fat?" Kouji asked without really thinking.
JP was boiling with anger now. "WHAT THE HELL? Why would you ask me that?"
"I don't know. You tell me." Kouji folded his arms.
"Quit being a wise... butt." JP accused.
"Don't you mean wise a-" Kouji was cut off by Takuya
"Hey watch you language! There people reading this." Takuya said to Kouji as he looks at.. well... you.
"They're people reading this?" JP wondered.
"Yeah! Where have you been all this time you dumb... butt?" Kouji insulted as he tried not to cuss.
"Hey, I didn't realize, OK... and my rear end is not DUMB!"
Kouji looked at him quizzically, "So its a smart a-"
"WHAT did I say about your language?" Takuya cut Kouji off again.
"Look you two, your making me mad, so get off my property so I can... attend some serious business."
Kouji crossed his arms and slanted his eyes, "To what business? Making a sandwich?"
"........." JP stared at both of them with piercing eyes. "YES! NOW GET OUT!"
"Fine." Kouji and Takuya both said. At the same time, they both turned around and hung there head down as they walked the walk of shame.
JP closed the door and ran to his sandwich now that it was getting cold. He applied the the mayo and started putting everything together.
"Now just a finishing touches and...." in his falsetto he held up the finished product over his head, "WALLAH! The best sandwich in the world."
Ding dong the doorbell blared.
"Oh c'mon! What is wrong with you people?" he asked, blatantly. He looked through the peep hole to see who it was. There was nobody.
"Ah ha! Thought you could trick me!" he said in triumph
"What do you mean?" a familiar small voice came from the other side.
"Huh?" JP opened the door only to see it was Tommy. He was too small to be seen through the peep hole. "Oh, what brings you here?" JP sounded unemotional.
"Hey, I just came by to see if we could hang out. Maybe we could play video games or something." Tommy requested.
"Sorry Tommy. As much as that really sounds 'tempting' and 'exciting', I'ma have to pass." JP tried to sound thoughtful and understanding.
"'Cause I'm busy?" JP was trying to get rid of him.
"Making a sandwich?" Tommy revealed.
"How'd you know?"
"I can smell it. Even from out here." Tommy was sniffing the air over and over.
"OK... your going to have to go now. Bye." he closed the door. When will he get to eat?
JP placed the plate holding his masterpiece sandwich on the table in front of him. He rubbed his hands together and took a whiff of the delicious aroma.
"Can't wait to dig in." the phone rang. It was the same shipping company telling him that their package would be there any minute. JP then clicked the phone and walked over to his dish again.
To his annoyance, the doorbell rang followed by a loud knock.
"What in abomination tar nation is going on here?" he gently placed his sandwich back on the plate and walked over to the door impatiently.
"This better be........good?"JP opened the door to a gorgeous and exquisite looking Zoe. She was dressed in a tight pink cami, with jeans skirt, and a irresistible smile. In her hand was a room furniture magazine
JP's heart started beating rapidly.
"Hey JP... do you think you have time for a room makeover?" Zoe said in an seducing voice. She was looking extremely attractive for some reason.
JP gulped, "I believe I do..." he opened the door for her to come in.
As she sashayed her way in, JP quickly regained his composure and stopped her from going any further.
"Waaait a minute... why would you need to give me a room make over."
"Well-" Zoe was interrupted by JP
"In fact, since when did you ever care about me and my needs in the first place?" JP was getting suspicious.
Zoe couldn't help but give him puppy eyes.
"Oh, don't give me that look. I'm afraid your going to have to leave. I will not let you stop me from eating my sandwich!" JP confessed.
"Sandwich? You choosing a sandwich over me helping you decorate? Your room?"
"Sorry Zoe. Bye!" he had to carry her out the door as she squirmed in his grasps.
"Your making a big mistake, JP! This is a once in a life time opportunity!" she warned as he put her out the door.
"Yeah what ever. Now go back to Takuya or something, and tell him to stop sending people to my door!" he closed the door until her realized what he did. "Oh no! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity." he quickly opened the door again but she was already gone like a puff of smoke.
"Dang, how do they disappear so quick?" he checked under the welcome mat to see if there could a trap door or something. "Oh well." he closed the door and walked back to his snack that was awaiting him.
As soon as he picked up the sandwich he looked at it and said, "Finally, at last. I will eat you."
DING DONG someone was at the door gain.
JP grumbled under his breath like a growling dog and marched over to the door. He saw Robby, Bobby, and Jack when he opened the door.
"JP!" Bobby greeted.
"Hey, bro!" Jack added. I'm not related to you! JP thought in his head.
"What's up, JP?" Robby asked in his form of greeting.
"My temper and patients!" JP said through gritted teeth.
"Sorry to hear that." Robby condoled.
"Look JP, we came over here to ask for your opinion on something." Bobby confessed.
"What is it?" JP was getting more impatient.
"Robby came up with a rap and he wants to know what you think. I think its crap." Jack cued Robby to start as Robby looked back at him as if he was crazy.
"Ok here goes." Robby prepared himself. "Ahem...yeah.... yeah.... yeah.... yeah.... yeah...." Robby kept going.
(Five minutes later)
"Yeah.... yeah.... yeah.... yeah...."
JP was boiling mad, now. He was getting very aggravated.
"Hold on! Is that all your going to say?" JP asked.
"Yeah.... yeah.... yeah..." Robby answered while he still was still "rapping".
"STOP!" JP yelled. Robby stopped quickly.
"So whadya think?" they all asked.
"I think you all either give me back the five minutes of my life y'all wasted or LEAVE!"
The group of guys quickly started running away seeing that they angered him.
"Good riddins..." he closed and started to walk off. He counted his fingers to see how many of his friends came to disturb him. He counted all except one person...
"Kouichi!" JP said in epiphany as someone knocked on the door.
To his conclusion, it was Kouichi at the door just like he predicted.
"Let me guess... you want something from me?" JP wondered.
"Actually I came to ask if Kouji stopped by?" Kouichi asked.
JP huffed, "Yes, and he left to where ever he came from!"
Kouichi couldn't help but wonder if something was wrong with him. JP looked disgustedly mad.
"Is something wrong?"
"It seems like I'll never get to eat my sandwich that I made. You guys keep bothering me." JP told Kouichi all about it.
"Well then... just take deep breaths and go and eat it all ready." Kouichi gave a simple advise.
"You know what? Your right!" and with that advise JP slammed the door and marched over to his sandwich. He decided to microwave it a little now that it got a little cold.
Meanwhile, as he was waiting for the timer to go down, the doorbell rang loudly. JP sighed, sulked, and struggled as he dragged his feet to the door one more time. He was afraid that the delivery would come and he would miss it.
When he finally crept the door open, he saw Takuya standing at his door with a yoyo in his hand (Wow, what ever happened to those things? They're history!)
"Hey, isn't that..."
"Yep, your yoyo I bored two years ago." Takuya finished his sentence.
"And you just so happened to think you should bring it today? RIGHT NOW?" JP couldn't believe what was going on anymore.
"Yep!" Takuya said with a cheesy grin on his face. JP snatched the yoyo and tried to close the door.
"Wait, JP!" Takuya held the door from closing, " We were thinking if you wanted to hang out somewhere right now?" Takuya offered.
"We?" JP questioned Takuya. On cue, everyone came out of there hiding spots and revealed where they were. Tommy came out from under the welcome rug.
"I knew there was a trapdoor there!" JP shouted at Tommy. "Sorry to burst you bubbles guys, but I have to wait for a package that's for my parents. It's very important!"
The rest of the group understood what he was talking about and decided to leave him alone.
"Ok buddy. What ever you say." Takuya waved JP off and walked with the rest of the guys off to a local hangout. JP then looked under the welcome mat again, but saw that there was no door. Weird." He thought.
As the time buzzed he sprinted over to his warmed up sandwich and held it inches from his mouth after he took a breath. The door bell rung again, but this time JP wasn't going to answer it. Instead he quickly and aggressively took a bite our of his waited-so-long sandwich. He snarled on it like a dog snarling on an old newspaper. He kept bite and golfing down the whole thing while the doorbell buzzed over and over.
"Forget it guys! Your just going to have to wait!" he said in between his nasty chewing. Food particles fell out of his mouth but he didn't care. When he was finally done, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and walked over to the door. To his dismay, as his eyes went wide, he saw a delivery van starting to go away with the package he was waiting for all this time.
"NOOOOOO! Comeback!" he called out to the van, but it got away. He fell to the ground on his knees and raised his hands up to the sky and yelled, "WHYYYYYYYYY!"
Ten thousand dollars just past him by. Just wait till his parents came back and heard the news.
A/N: I hope it was fun to read. Happy viewing!