Johnny was walking through the Black Order. He took his time, making sure he wouldn't trip on uneven floor and spill the horrible substance he carried in his gloved hands. The Science Department had just confiscated yet another "hazardous material" from Komui, and it was Johnny's duty to deliver it to where the rest of the contraband was.
"Johnny!" Allen called sleepily. "Do you know what all the noise is about? I keep hearing crashes and cussing."
Johnny stopped and looked at Allen with wide eyes. "Don't come any closer," he said. "We just took something dangerous from Komui, and I don't want to spill it on you or anything else."
"So that's what's causing this racket?"
Johnny was about to reply, but Komui ran around the corner laughing hysterically. A woman Allen didn't recognize was chasing him. "Komui, if I get my hands on you, you're dead, God damn it!" she shouted. She pulled her lab coat back onto her shoulders and reached out to grab Komui.
"It's only temporary!" Komui laughed. He dodged the woman's reach. "Come on, Reever, it was a joke!" That's when he rammed into Johnny.
The bottle Johnny carried went flying. Everything seemed to go slow motion while everyone watched the bottle rise into the air and then spill all over Allen. "Oh dear... Now Allen's become Alaina..." Komui said, fixing his glasses. He turned to the woman next to him. "Right, Reeba?"
The woman took her chance to pull Komui into a strangle hold. "You are worse than dead! I'll kill you, resurrect you as an Akuma, and have the exorcists kill you again!" Her voice was starting to deepen and sound more masculine.
"See? Temporary!" Komui said. He grinned like an idiot. "You're back to normal now!"
"My beard's still gone and my hair's still long," Reever growled.
"The beard'll grow back and you can get your hair cut!" Komui said. "Ow!" Reever had tightened his strangle hold.
Allen, meanwhile, was coughing. The liquid in the bottle had turned to smoke when it hit him, creating a smokescreen. "Reever? Komui? What's going on?" he asked. He held his throat. Something didn't sound right. Had the smoke messed with his voice? He also felt his hair—now long—laying in a tumbled mess around his face and going down to his knees. "What do you mean by Alaina?"
"Er..." Reever looked at him, and Allen could tell he was fumbling for the right words. "Allen, it might be a bit of a shock, but that potion... uh... Let's just say you look pretty as a princess right now..."
"What are you talking about?" Allen asked. "How am I pretty as a..." He'd put a hand across his chest. "...a..." He felt something weird. He looked down and saw some soft bumps protruding from his chest. "HOLY—!"
"Now Allen," Reever said, cutting off the fit Allen was about to throw, "calm down. As Komui says, it's only temporary. He used that on me as a joke about ten minutes ago, and I'm back to normal." He glanced at Komui. "How long does it last, exactly?"
Komui blinked and counted on his fingers in mental calculations. "Let's see... With the dosage Allen got, I'd say... at least twenty-four hours—maybe more." He shrugged. "It'll wear off eventually."
"Twenty-four hours?" Allen repeated. "At least...?" He felt faint and almost collapsed.
Lenalee caught him—er—her. "Are you okay, Miss?" Lenalee asked, not realizing who it was. She looked at her brother. "Komui, what's that horrible smell? Did you blow something up again?" She turned back to Allen. "Here, let me help you. I can't breathe here, and I'm used to bad smells like this."
"T-thanks, Lenalee," Allen said. He felt ill, but it was probably due to the bad news rather than the smell.
That's when Lenalee got a good look at his face. "A-Allen?!" She recognized the scar and his silver eyes. "What's—?" she stopped herself and glared at Komui. "Komui, what did you do this time?!"
"Why do you always assume it's my fault?" Komui asked innocently.
"Because it's always you're fault, you nut job!" Reever shouted, smacking Komui on the head. He explained the incident to Lenalee, starting from Komui's gender bender prank on him to the accident with Allen. "So, as you can see," Reever concluded, "that's why he's now a she..."
Lenalee nodded and took Allen's hand. "If you're stuck as a girl for a while, maybe I can help you out."
"That's a great idea, Lenalee!" Komui said with a smile. "That way, Allen won't do anything too stupid as a girl."
"And whose fault is it that's he's a girl?" Reever said angrily. "You're coming with me, and we're going to find a way to turn Allen back sooner." He dragged a kicking and screaming Komui away.
Allen looked helplessly at Lenalee. "Why me?" he asked. "Why do all the bad things happen to me?"
"Oh, come on, Allen. It's not that bad," Lenalee laughed. "Like Reever said, it will wear off eventually. Anyway, let's get you into something a little more appropriate..."
"I have to wear a dress?" Allen whined as Lenalee pulled him along. "Miranda always wears pants! Why do I have to wear a dress?"
Lenalee rolled her eyes. "You can keep wearing that. You just need to wear something underneath so you don't run into problems."
"Problems? What kind of problems?" Allen asked uselessly. "What, am I gonna get a bad back from added weight or something?"
"Something like that," Lenalee said with a smile. She stopped a moment in front of her room. "You'll have to borrow some of my clothes for now. I want them back when you're done with them," she warned before opening the door and pushing him in.
"What's this?" Allen asked when Lenalee handed him something. He looked at the strange contraption, confusion apparent on his face.
"It's a corset1," Lenalee replied. Her voice was flat, and Allen realized she didn't really want to give it to him, whatever it was. When Allen still looked confused, she went into further detail, making him turn bright red. "Make sure to give it back when you turn back to normal," she said. A strained smile was plastered on her face. She really didn't want to have to lend him it, but he really had to wear one if he would be stuck as a girl for any length of time.
"I'm really sorry about this," Allen muttered. The blush was finally starting to ebb away. "Thank you for your help." He bowed politely.
Once Allen had finished putting on the corset (with Lenalee's help), they left to find scissors. Despite being a girl, Allen didn't want to have to deal with long hair. He'd suffered through it once. That was more than enough.
"Wait here a minute," Lenalee said. She went into the Science Department's research room and asked around for scissors while Allen stood awkwardly in the doorway. He fidgeted a bit and tried to shift the corset he now wore.
"Stupid torture device," he muttered under his breath. How could Lenalee put up with wearing one all the time?
Someone tapped Allen on the shoulder. "Hey there, cutie!" said a voice behind him. Allen turned to stare into the eye of Lavi, the local redheaded Bookman. His eye was closed and he was grinning in an attempt to look sexy. "You new around here? How about we grab a bite to eat?"
"Lavi, are you hitting on me?" The fact disturbed Allen immensely. Girl or not, Lavi was still flirting with him.
Lavi's grin widened, and he put an arm around Allen's shoulder. "Well, yeah, cutie! What's your name?" He finally opened his eye and jumped back when he saw Allen's face. "Woah! A-Allen? When did you—? How did you—?" When he couldn't get the words out, he pointed at Allen's chest. "WHEN DID YOU GROW BOOBS?!"
Allen rolled eyes. "When Komui dumped some potion on me this morning. I should be back to normal by sometime tomorrow."
Lavi was still staring at Allen's cleavage, making him feel uncomfortable. "Can I... touch them?" Lavi asked, reaching out to grab one.
Allen smacked his hand away. "No!" he hissed. There weren't any scientists in the immediate area, but Allen didn't want anyone overhearing the awkward conversation.
"You just want to hog 'em for yourself!" Lavi said, pouting. He reached out again to touch. "Come on, we're both guys!"
"Exactly the point!" he snapped. When Lavi didn't put his hand down, Allen activated the Crowned Clown and pointed a claw threateningly at his redheaded friend. "Keep trying. I dare you."
Lenalee put a hand on Allen's shoulder. "Let me handle this one, Allen," she said with another strained smile. She'd heard everything, which led to the question: when had she gotten there?
Still faking a smile, she kicked Lavi hard in the knee. "Ow!" Lavi cried, grabbing where she kicked him. "That really hurt, Lenalee!"
"Keep bothering Allen, and I'll aim higher next time," Lenalee said, her strained smile still plastered on her face. "You're lucky I didn't just go straight for it."
Lavi turned pale. "I'm... uh... going to go now... See ya Allen!" He ran off as fast as his legs would carry him. An angry Lenalee was almost as bad as Komui's sister complex.
"L-Lenalee," Allen said quietly, "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Lenalee asked. Her anger had already passed, and she looked happy again.
"You have to keep helping me out. If I was quick enough, I could have dodged the potion before it spilled on me."
"It's not your fault my brother's a nut." Allen was surprised Lenalee would admit that her brother was a little out there. "If it were, the Science Department would have killed you by now."
He knew she was right. "So, did you find any scissors?" He was trying to change the subject from Komui's nuttiness and Lavi's... being Lavi.
Lenalee held them up. "Dr. Russell had a pair. Let's go find someplace to cut your hair so it doesn't go everywhere."
So they wandered around Headquarters searching for someplace they could use without making a mess. In the end, they decided just to do it in Allen's room.
While they were on their way, Allen avoided making eye contact with any of the people they passed. Some did stop and look, but Lenalee assured him it was because he was a pretty girl and not because they recognized him. No one said anything to him, at least.
They turned a corner, and Allen walked right into Kanda. "Bean Sprout, watch where you're going," Kanda growled.
Allen nodded quickly. If he talked, Kanda might notice something was wrong with his voice and take a closer look. If Kanda did that, Allen would never hear the end of it. It was bad enough that Lavi knew.
Of course Kanda had to notice. "Bean Sprout, how did your hair get so long overnight? Did you spill one of Komui's potions again?"
"I did not!" Allen shouted in his girly voice. "It's Komui's fault this time!" He brushed himself off. "And it's Allen, not Bean Sprout."
Kanda poked Allen in the chest. "Yeah, well Bean Sprout's..." his voice trailed off as his finger sunk in a little bit into Allen's chest. He looked down and stared at Allen's cleavage.
Allen slapped Kanda and crossed his arms so Kanda couldn't touch him again. "What was that for?!" Kanda asked, his face turning just as red as the cheek Allen had slapped.
"Reflex," Allen muttered.
"Whenever we girls feel uncomfortable," Lenalee explained, "we take a swing at the person making us feel that way." She sent a pointed look at Kanda. "I'm sure you didn't mean to, but don't do that again."
It clicked in Kanda's mind. "So that's..." Allen nodded. "Sucks to be you, Bean Sprout." He walked away, rubbing his cheek. "You hit pretty hard," he muttered.
"I may be a girl, but I don't hit like one!" Allen yelled after Kanda. He then started trying to shift the corset to a more comfortable position. Again. "Who made these things?" he grumbled to Lenalee.
"A man," Lenalee replied. She started walking away. "Hurry up if you want me to cut your hair, Allen. I told Jerry I'd help in the kitchen today."
They reached Allen's room without running into anyone else, and Allen flinched when he saw Lenalee pull a brush out of her pocket. "What's that for?" Allen asked, ducking his head down so she'd have more trouble reaching it.
"Your hair's a mess, Allen. If you want it to be remotely even, I have to brush it."
"But... it'll hurt..." Allen whined. His hair was one long tangle. It would take forever to brush it out neatly.
He was right, too. It took many a painful stroke to tame his hair so that it lay remotely flat. Once Lenalee was satisfied that it was free of knots, she took the scissors and chopped most of it off.
"How does that look?" she asked as she scooped up the white locks on the ground.
Allen scrutinized his reflection in the mirror. It was the exact same style he'd had that morning, but somehow it looked more feminine. "Lenalee, what'd you do to it?" he asked.
"I added a few layers so it didn't look like a mop," Lenalee replied. "It'll be fine once you're back to normal. It just seems girly right now because you are a girl right now." It was like she'd read his mind. "Anyway, I have to help Jerry now. Can I trust you on your own for the rest of the day?"
Allen nodded, and they parted ways. Well, they did when they reached the cafeteria. Allen wanted breakfast.
"Oh, what a cutie!" Jerry gushed when he saw Allen. Yet another person couldn't figure out it was Allen. "What can I get for you?"
After a moment of thought, Allen said in one breath, "Gratin and potato and dry curry and mabo tofu and beef stew and meat pie and carpaccio and nasigoreng and chicken potato salad and scones and tomyamkun in a bowl and rice... and for desert, a mango pudding and twenty mitarashi dango."2
Jerry stared wide eyed a moment. "A-Allen? Why are you..."
"Komui," Allen interrupted flatly.
"That explains it all," Jerry replied. "I'll call you when your order's ready, Allen. Go have a seat and try to avoid guys hitting on you."
"Too late," Allen muttered under his breath. There were already a bunch of guys behind him, all blushing at his apparent cuteness. He walked past the men to find a seat. Sadly, the entire cafeteria was full.
Allen stood near a wall and waited for someone to finish so he could take their seat. A couple of Finders noticed, and all of them stood up. "Miss, you can take my seat!" called one of them.
"No, take mine!" another said, pushing the first out of the way.
"Um... thanks?" Allen said. He took the nearest chair, which was where the first guy was sitting.
"See? She likes me best! She took my chair!" he said triumphantly.
Allen blushed and sighed at the same time. Of course he'd have a bunch of people fighting over him. Like Lenalee and Reever said, he was a pretty girl.
They all hovered over him, asking him who he was, what his favorite color was, and all kinds of other questions. Allen almost cheered when Jerry came out of the kitchen, pushing a cart with all his food. The sight of how much he ate would definitely scare off his would-be suitors.
"Wow, is this all for you?" one of the Finders asked. "I think I'm in love!"
Allen had to resist the urge to bang his head against the table. Jerry noticed, and said, "Can't you guys take a hint? She's not interested in you."
"What, you think she's interested in you?"
Allen noticed Jerry wink, and the plan made sense. Allen jumped up and hugged Jerry's arm. "I just love men who can cook!" he lied.
"I can cook!" cried one of them.
"Yeah, but he's cuter," Allen said, trying to remember how girls would act in this situation. He was winging this entirely.
All of their jaws dropped. "Jerry?! Cuter?!" They all looked like they were about to die of a mortal wound to the ego. Dejected, they all shuffled away. "I can't believe she likes him, of all people..."
"Thanks Jerry," Allen said. He breathed a sigh of relief and sat down to eat. "I don't think I could have gotten rid of them alone."
"You could always just tell them you're actually a guy. That would dissuade them pretty quick," Jerry pointed out.
"I'd rather everyone not know about this. It's embarrassing enough as is."
Shrugging, Jerry turned to go back to the kitchen. "Your choice," he said. "Just be careful. I don't want a pretty girl such as yourself getting into trouble."
Allen knew the cook was teasing him, but he blushed anyway. "Thank you for worrying about me," he muttered. "I'll be fine."
Once he was finished with his breakfast, Allen decided to go see how Komui and Reever were doing on the antidote. Of course everyone in the Science Department had to look up when he entered the room.
"Who's she?" one of the scientists whispered. "I'd remember a girl as cute as her."
Allen blushed and bowed his head as he weaved through the piles of papers, books, and research materials. If they didn't get a good look at him, they probably wouldn't know who it was rushing to get to Komui and Reever.
"So, how's it going, bein' a girl and all?" Komui asked with his usual smile.
"I hate it," Allen muttered. "Everyone keeps hitting on me."
"I told you that you were pretty," Reever said. He scratched his head as he scrutinized some of Komui's notes. "Do you even know how to write a research journal?!" he snapped at his superior.
"...Does this mean you don't know how to fix this yet?" Allen asked. The fact that Reever was still trying to make heads-or-tails of Komui's work wasn't reassuring. The potion was going to wear off before they came up with a solution at this rate.
"We're working on it, Allen," Reever assured him. "I've made sense of his research before, and I can do it again. You just have to be patient a little bit longer. Why not go to your room and relax a bit? We did wake you up pretty early with all the commotion."
Komui, who was doodling rather than working, looked up. "We? Wasn't it you making that racket?"
"You're asking for it," Reever growled dangerously. He clenched his fist and took deep breaths to calm himself. "Anyway, just take a nap for a while. You'll be back to normal before you know it."
Allen nodded and left, drawing just as much attention as he had in coming. Once again, Allen heard the murmur of approval as he walked by the various researchers. Reever was right, Allen decided. He had to be pretty to have so many eyes on him.
After a very long nap, Allen felt a lot better. He wasn't as tired as he had been before, at least. He was still a girl, but he was actually used to it. He sighed. He wondered if he'd have to get used to being a boy again once it wore off.
There was a knock at the door. "Allen! It's me!" Lenalee called.
Allen yawned and opened the door. "What's wrong, Lenalee?" he asked sleepily.
"Well, you weren't at lunch, so I was worried about you."
"So that's why I'm so hungry..." Allen said absentmindedly. "I slept through lunch? Seriously?" It was rare for him to sleep that long without interruption, let alone through a meal. His curse hadn't bothered him for once.
Lenalee nodded and took his hand. "Jerry saved some of your favorites for you," she said. "Hurry up if you want to eat while it's hot."
Allen nodded and followed Lenalee. "So, how long have I been stuck like this?" he asked as they continued down the hall.
"A couple hours... I'd say about seven."
Only seventeen more to go, Allen thought, his heart sinking. He swore time was slowing down just to torture him. "Exactly what did I do to anger God?" he asked. "I always have the worst luck."
Laughing, Lenalee said, "I don't think you've angered God. I think you've angered Komui!"
"It's not funny!" Allen grumbled.
"Yes it is!" Lenalee was doubled over laughing. "Almost everything that's happened to you here at the Order is because of my brother! What did you do to make him so mad at you?"
"How should I know?" Irritated, Allen ruffled his hair. "I don't think I've done anything to make him mad at me!"
"Think hard," Lenalee said. She'd regained her composure and placed a hand on his shoulder.
Allen did as he was told. He ran through a list of all the things he'd ever done at Headquarters, but nothing seemed to stand out. He'd helped save Headquarters when the Level Four attacked, found a couple exorcists, controlled the Ark for the greater good of the Order, and plenty of other good things. That's when it hit him. He had a crush on Lenalee, and it was painfully obvious to everyone but her.
"I thought Komui wouldn't notice..." he muttered.
"Notice what?" Lenalee asked.
"Nothing!" Allen said quickly. If she hadn't noticed, he wasn't going to tell her. It was too embarrassing, especially now that his gender was temporarily switched. It was just awkward.
"Anyway, Komui won't be causing you any trouble for a while. I think Reever's going to keep a close eye on him for a long time." Smiling, Lenalee led him to the cafeteria and got him his food.
One bite and Allen was in heaven. "It's really good!" Allen said. "Jerry outdid himself this time!"
"I knew you'd like it!" Lenalee said. "I was the one who made all that, actually. I asked Jerry to help me a bit, since he knew what you always order and how you like it."
"You made all of this for me?" Allen said, eyes wide. "T-thank you, Lenalee." Maybe, possibly, Lenalee liked him too.
"You're welcome." She smiled, which made Allen smile.
They sat together, talking about anything they could think of. The hours passed by quickly as they hung out together. People weren't staring anymore as he walked through the halls. Allen realized this was probably because Komui might think they were watching Lenalee rather than the "new girl."
Dinner came and went, and it was almost time for bed. "Allen? Aren't you going to take a bath or anything?" Lenalee asked as Allen headed for his room.
"No," Allen said, his cheeks burning. "I'd rather not have to look at myself. I think I'm already scarred for life as it is."
Lenalee rolled her eyes and dragged him to the hot springs that served for the Order's baths. "You'll feel a whole lot better if you're clean. I know a hot bath always makes me feel better."
Allen couldn't argue with her logic, and so they headed to the baths together.
"Hold on!" Lenalee said, grabbing Allen when he tried to go into the men's side. "You can't go in there!"
"Why not? I'm a guy technically," Allen replied, confused.
"Yeah, well, physically you're a woman, so you have to use the women's side." Lenalee sighed. "Look, I'll make sure no one goes in while you're in the baths. You won't have to see any girls naked except for yourself."
Allen blushed furiously. "C-can't I just go to bed and forget the bath?"
Lenalee raised an eyebrow, and the look silenced Allen. "Okay, I'll do it," Allen mumbled miserably.
He sat in the steaming water, his eyes tightly closed to he wouldn't see himself. It was embarrassing, even if he was alone. He heard the door open, and ducked farther under the water. Hadn't Lenalee promised to keep everyone else out?
He felt something flop onto his head. He opened one eye and stared up at Timcanpy. "Ah! Tim, you scared me! I thought you were a girl for a second!" He laughed like an idiot. This was really starting to get to him.
"Timcanpy really wanted to get in," Lenalee said from the doorway. "I figured you wouldn't mind, since it's Tim and all."
Allen nodded and sank into the warm water with a happy sigh. He hated to admit it, but relaxing in the bath without Lavi bothering him or Kanda making life miserable was the life.3
After about a half-hour, Allen had to get out before he fell asleep. He knew Miranda or one of the few female scientists or Finders would probably want a bath as well. He got dressed quickly and thanked Lenalee for her help.
"No problem," she replied with a smile. "Good night Allen!"
Once he was in his room, Allen crawled into bed. He might not have done much, but he was worn out. Allen suspected it was because he'd been worrying about being a girl the whole day. Yawning, he curled up and fell into a deep sleep.
Something was different when Allen woke up the next day. He sat up blearily and stared around as he tried to figure out what was different. Nothing was out of place, nothing was missing, so what was wrong with this picture?
Allen crossed his arms, and realized that something was missing. He cheered. He was back to normal at long last.
There was a knock on his bedroom door. "Morning Allen!" Lavi said happily. He frowned when he got a good look at his friend. "Hey, you're back to normal!"
"Is that a bad thing?" Allen asked. He raised an eyebrow at his friend, much the way Lenalee always did. "What do you want, anyway? Why're you here so early?"
"Er..." Lavi looked like a rat caught in a trap. "I wanted to... see if you were all right this morning."
That was an easy lie to see through. "You're lying. Why'd you really come?"
"I wanted to see if they were real," he replied, pointing to Allen's chest, "but they're gone!"
"Of course they were real!" Allen said, blushing. "Do you think I'd try to look like a girl on purpose? It was all Komui's fault!"
"Lavi," said a dangerously low voice behind the future Bookman, "what are you doing here?"
"He wanted to touch them!" Allen replied. He knew Lenalee would know what he was referring to.
Lavi blinked. "I... er..." He sighed, but perked up. "I really wanted to touch Allen's, but can I touch yours instead, Lenalee?"
Allen and Lenalee both slugged him at the same time. "OF COURSE YOU CAN'T!" they shouted in unison.
Lenalee glanced at Allen. "Why would you care if he touched me anyway?" she asked.
"After being a girl for twenty-four hours, I know that I wouldn't want Lavi touching me," Allen replied, glaring at Lavi rather than looking at her.
"You guys hit hard!" Lavi said. "Seriously, that hurt!"
"Good!" Allen and Lenalee snapped.
Lavi rubbed his cheek. "Yeah, but..."
"You're lucky I didn't kick you," Lenalee said. "Remember what I said yesterday...?"
Lavi went pale. "I'm... going to be going now..." He turned and hightailed it out of there.
"Well, that was fun," Lenalee giggled. "He's going to think before he says anything ever again." She turned to Allen. "I'm glad you're back to normal."
"I'm glad I am too," Allen replied. "So, shall we go to breakfast? I'm—"
There was a loud crash somewhere in the Order, and a shout of "KOMUI!!!!!!!!"
Allen and Lenalee looked at each other. "Here we go again..."
1 Corset = late 1800s bra. Tis what you saw Lenalee wearing after the battle with the Level Three on the ship.
2 If you couldn't tell, this is what he ordered in chapter 8 of -Man. I got the list from Onemanga. ...Oh, and it's possible to say it all in one breath. (I succeeded)
3 There was an explanation in one of the manga about the baths in the Order. Komui had them all changed to Asian style baths. Since you all know about these, being anime fans, I won't go into detail. If you don't know what they are, may I suggest Tenchi Muyo or Love Hina for an visual? Or, I suppose, you could google it, but I'm not sure what you'll find...
So, I hope you enjoyed this crazy fanfiction. It was the result of boredom in a computer lab during the school year, so maybe that's why it's so strange... Hope you laughed at least a little.
I'd like to thank Wolfram003 for beta-ing this one shot and doing a great job beta-ing. I'd also like to thank my friend Keeper of the Jeep on Your-Role for looking it over for me. :-)