I do not own Black Lagoon, any of its characters or anything else mentioned herein.

So this follows up Illusions and as you can see its shorter, sort of like a 2 episode arc. I feel kinda up in arms about this one but I figure, I'm done with it, it seems to work well enough, and there is some decent comedy, what the hell?

In the Lagoon Company office, boss Chang sat back on a couch opposite Dutch, Rock, Benny and Revy. He took a sip from a coffee cup and carefully placed it on the table that separated them.

"Nice coffee Dutch."

The head of the Lagoon Company couldn't have been more sarcastic, "Thanks, I'm thinkin' about expanding. There's a certain ring to 'Lagoon Trading Company and Café'. Maybe put a coffee maker on the deck of the boat so Revy can serve up a latte before she sends a motherfucker to Davy Jones' locker."

Chang laughed, "I do love humor. Laughter truly is the greatest medicine."

Rock took up the reins, "We understand you have a job for us?"

"Down to business I see. It is unfortunate, but I've actually already taken care of that delivery I had set aside for you."

"What the fuck?" Revy growled.

"Calm down Two-hands. While the delivery's been taken care of, something quite a bit more interesting has come up."

Revy's curiosity appeared as a smile on her face, "Do tell."

"Yesterday at around noon, our watchdog at the docks spotted a group of Libyans coming into Roanapur. He wouldn't have thought much of it but a few hours later another boatload came, followed by another. They weren't coming empty handed either, they were armed to the teeth. Naturally, the heads of family held a meeting to determine the best course of action. Balalaika has more than enough subordinates to handle just about anything, but the numbers we're talking about would literally level Roanapur and that's just bad for business."

"So what do you need from us?" Rock asked.

"This morning we tracked 3 more boats off the coast of Sri Lanka. While these guys are well armed, they won't be expecting any trouble and they're traveling on boats that are pretty much disposable."

"No armaments on those boats?" Dutch asked.

"Nothing that should give that torpedo boat of yours any trouble."

"With all due respect, would you care to enlighten me as to what my boat shouldn't have any trouble with?"

"All of the boats that have come to port so far have had a single 50-cal on the deck and the most we've seen on the men that came off those boats are some autos, 7.62s by the looks of it. But again, we're talking about boats that are made of wood Dutch." Chang replied.

"Well 7.62 ain't shit; might as well be throwin' fire crackers at the hull. The 50-cal is a bit more serious, but the Lagoon should handle that just fine."

"And that's if they get a shot off in the first place." Revy added.

Chang smiled, "Basically we're looking to send these assholes a message. Roanapur is divided up quite comfortably and no one is looking to share. You think you can get that message across for us Dutch?"

Dutch leaned back and smiled, "I think we can work something out."

After some discussion of rates, goodbyes were exchanged and Chang and company departed the office.

"Rock, Revy…" They turned to face the boss and he continued, "…head on over to Rowan's, tell him his booze is going to be late. With what Chang is paying us, we can discount him 5% and still take a profit. Benny and me will start prepping the Lagoon. Soon as you're on board, we'll go fishing."

Revy smiled, "Sounds good to me. Let's go Rock."


On the way to Rowan's, Rock noticed Revy looking quite content. A cigarette hung out of the corner of her mouth and her eyes were wide open. Perhaps it was because he let her drive?

"You look happy."

"You think?"

"Well you're not yawning, cursing, or shooting. You at least look like you're smiling a little."

She sighed, "I'm just fuckin' glad to be home and on a job. Besides, jobs for Chang usually keep my cutlass warm and I gotta say, right now, they're a bit too cold for my liking."

Rock was always amused when Revy spoke of her guns as though they were living things.

They pulled in front of Rowan's shop a few moments later and as Rock undid his seatbelt Revy asked, "Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Rock couldn't have looked more confused, "With you to talk to Rowan?"

"The fuck you are!"

"What're you talking about? I've gone in with you dozens of times."

"That was before we were together. Hate to break it to you but the only titties you're gonna be seein' from now on are mine, you got that?!"

"Revy…" She cut him off, "Oh shut up…" She got out of the car closing the door behind her, "…I'll be back in a minute."

Revy stormed through the door to Rowan's and Rock's head fell back against his seat with a groan. Of course he had no desire to look at the women in Rowan's shop, but Dutch did ask the both of them to deliver the message. Regardless, he was amused to see Revy so protective of him. He was hers alone and she had no intention of even sharing his gaze with another woman.

A few minutes later Revy emerged from Rowan's shop, "Alright, he's good…" She slipped into her seat, "…here we go."

The GTO's tires screeched and the car vanished toward the dock.


Aboard the Lagoon, Benny was having some problems with one of his computers. While he could solve just about any problem the software could give him, this seemed to be a hardware issue.

Just as Dutch came in to check on him, Benny slapped the side of the monitor, "Piece of shit!"

"Everything OK Benny boy?"

"I think the ocean air isn't agreeing with the new motherboards I'm running."

"Is it gonna be a problem?"

"Shouldn't be if I could just get the fucker…" He kicked the tower bringing the screen back to life, "…to stop turning off randomly."

"Fuckin' perfect." Dutch grumbled.

Climbing top side, Dutch saw the GTO pull up and Rock and Revy jump out.

"Rowan cool?" Dutch asked.

"Said 5% is fair enough considering it's the first time we've ever come up late." Revy replied.

As they came on board, Dutch replied, "Good. It's gonna be a few hours before we find those guys and I need you in top form Revy. Go to your bunk, get some rest."

"You got it boss man."

In Revy's room, the gunslinger tackled Rock onto her bed, the both of them smiling in between a series of messy kisses. Rock pulled his lips from hers and began to nibble at her neck playfully. Unfortunately, she let out a gasp just loud enough for Dutch to hear as he passed outside her room.

"I said rest Revy! Rock, get your ass top-side!" Dutch shouted.

"Be right there!" Rock replied, "I should…" Revy shut his mouth with hers and Rock's eyes rolled up in the back of his head. With her free hand she reached over and behind her pulling her tank top over her shoulders and head knocking her ponytail loose in the process.


As promised, Rock appeared on the bridge a few moments later.

"Sorry about that Dutch."

Dutch smiled, "Don't sweat it. I can't imagine saying no to Revy is the easiest thing to do."

Rock smiled, "I'd be so bold as to say you don't know the half of it."

Dutch laughed and Rock continued, "So do you have anything for me?"

"How much do you know about computers?"

"A little, why?"

"Benny's having trouble with his hardware. Go down and lend him some brain power would ya? I'll call you if anything comes up."

"You got it." Rock replied as he descended to crew's quarters.