A/N: The list is not mine. Its actually for Annoying Murtagh from Eragon but I found it on 51 Ways To Annoy Remius Lupin by Tonkswyrd. I kind of tweaked the list a bit though. Also, I do not own Harry Potter. Hope you enjoy!

Takes place about third year.

51 Ways To Annoy a Stubborn Ferret:

Because it's just too much fun to pick on Draco (even though I think he is delicious from HBP)


#1: Ask him the same annoying question over and over again. When he finally breaks down, ask him again and again. When he explodes with annoyance, tell him that he's being ridiculous and suggest anger management.


"Harry! Harry! Harry!" Ron Weasley hurried into the dormitory with excitement plastered upon his face. Harry peeled his eyes off of the newsprint he was currently reading. Ronald always did have the ability to blow things out of proportion.

"What is it, Ron?" Harry asked, "Found a leftover box of Gummy Gnomes under your bedsheets again?"

"No. I just came to ask you if you wanted to do something."

"Do something?" Harry cocked an eyebrow with confusion, "Like what?"

"I don't know. I'm bored. It sucks that we have to stay here over Christmas Holiday. My parents just had to go to that muggle convention! And then stupid Percy, Fred, and George are off with friends and Ginny went with my parents."

"I know the story, Ron. It's the reason I am stuck here too! I can't believe it's just you, me, Malfoy, and Neville. No offense to you or Neville but that's the makings of one boring Christmas holiday."

"Tell me about it," Ron flopped down on the couch, "So…want to do something?"

"Sure," Harry closed the newsprint, "I was just reading the articles. What do you suggest we do?"

"We can slide down the banisters."

"What are you, a first year?"

"Party-pooper," Ron pouted, folding his arms across his chest impatiently, "You know…Malfoy is here and we aren't exactly allowed to do magic while on break."


"So we can totally annoy the boogers out him!"

"You really are a first year."

"Come on, Harry!" Ron urged, "Don't you think it will be fun? Besides, he won't be able to do anything anyways even if we were allowed to do magic. He got his wand confiscated by McGonagall the other day for giving Goyle a lizard tongue."

Harry laughed at the thought of Goyle with a forked tail and Malfoy throwing a temper tantrum over his wand, "Seriously?"

"Seriously. We would be safe. So what do you say?"

"I say…" Harry paused for dramatic effect, "Let's make a list!"

"A list?"

"Of all the ways to annoy him."

"Good one!" Ron scurried over towards the desk.

Harry pulled out some parchment and a quill. He could hardly wait to get started on annoying Malfoy. He quickly began to write. Once they were finished with their list, Ron and Harry read over it one last time.

"So, are you ready?" Harry asked.

"Of course. This is bloody brilliant! And the best part of it all is that without his wand, he can't do anything!"

"I know!" Harry couldn't help but feel giddy. "So do you want to get started?"

Ron nodded and they both charged out the dormitory and down the stairs to the parlor where Draco was currently enthralled with a book. Upon seeing the two people he detested most, Draco cringed.

"What do you two want?" He snarled towards them.

"Is your hair naturally that color or do you dye it?" Ron asked him, smiling as innocently as possible.

"What the bloody hell is your issue, ginger?" Draco growled.

"I just want to know. So is it dyed?"


"But your roots are a darker tone," Harry pointed towards Malfoy's head before quickly taking his hand away to avoid another slap.

"You two are bloody morons!"

"So yes or no?" Ron asked.


"It's just a question," Harry shrugged, "So is that your natural color?"

"Yes, you bloody morons!"

"What hair dye do you use?" Ron insisted.

"I don't…"

"I think you need to touch up the roots a bit," Harry began to comb through Draco's hair before getting his hand slapped away, "Wow…violent. May I suggest anger management?"

"What is your problem, Potty? You and Weasel are acting more mental than usual. Just wait until I…"

"Wait until you what?" Ron sneered, "You don't have a wand."

"I…I…just you wait until I get it back! You two are walking dead meat!" Draco shouted as Harry and Ron walked away laughing hysterically.

"Going to be a long holiday, huh Malfoy?" Ron called over his shoulder.

The only response he got was a snort and a pouty-faced Malfoy.

"We are horrible!" Harry cackled.

"Isn't it great?"

"I can't wait to do the next thing!"

"Patience young grasshopper," Ron laughed, "I have something special up my sleeve for Malfoy's next little annoyance."