Kame: Kudos to everyone who reviewed, gave me great ideas and motivated me to update this story^^ Oh, I know Ed's right arm is metal and Allen's left arm is Innocence, but for this chapter, let's pretend they're on the same arm (it doesn't matter which arm).
Chapter 4: The arm wrestling contest
Havoc: Yo, Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc here. I am 28 years old and single ladies (wink). I enjoy long walks on the beach, action movies and Xinginese cuisine.
Lavi: (sweat drop) And Lavi Bookman Jr. filling in for dear Moyashi-chan-
Allen: IT'S ALLEN!
Lavi: -and helping to commentate the next round, which, incidentally, involves the commentators from the previous round.
Havoc: That's right, Ed and Allen got into it near the end of the previous round and decided to have a nice, friendly arm-wrestling contest.
Lavi: Minus the nice and friendly. Woah, the animosity is so heavy you can see it! Just look at those flames. (Camera zooms in)
Ed: I'm gonna slam you so hard in the ground you're gonna lose three feet off your height (evil black flames erupt behind him)
Allen: I'll still be taller than you (evil black flames erupt behind him)
Ed: (veins popping) how about I give you another scar on your pretty girly face?
Allen: Are you hitting on me? Sorry, I'm not interested in that.
Ed: WHAT!? I'M NOT GAY YOU WHITE HARIED SISSY!
Allen: Oh, are you bi-sexual then? My answer's still the same though.
Ed: YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!!!
Havoc: The chief's nice and riled up; what are the betting odds on this one Lavi?
Lavi: The first round surprised and broke a ton of people; consequently, fewer people are placing bets on Allen. I, however, have enough confidence in my second best friend to place my money on him.
Allen: Thanks Lavi… Wait, second best friend?
Lavi: Yeah, cause Yuu-chan is my bestest friend! Sorry Allen :(
(Mugen shoots through the room, nearly impaling Lavi in the back of the head)
Lavi: Ah, t-that was kinda close Yuu…
Kanda: (Demon Glare) Say my name again and I won't miss.
Havoc: Well the chief has pretty good automail, so I'm betting he'll win this round.
Winry: Pretty good!? It's the best damn automail around!
Lavi: STRIKE!!!!!!! SHE'S JUST MY TYPE!!!
Havoc: Um, I wouldn't do that…she's Ed's…
Lavi: Girlfriend? Lucky bastard!
Allen: Oh, so you are bi.
Ed: (turns beet red) WINRY IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND! SHE'S MY CHILDHOOD FRIEND AND AUTOMAIL MECHANIC!!! SHE'S JUST A DORKY MACHINE JUNKY ANYWAY! AND FOR THE LAST TIME I ONLY LIKE GIRLS!
Winry: There's no way I can date Ed! He's like my brother! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DORKY MACHINE JUNKY YOU ALCHEMY DWEEB!
Lavi: Oh, so I have a shot?!
Havoc: (sweat drops) Um, we need to move this along before Ed murders someone.
Ed: Let's see if you can withstand the pressure of my automail.
Allen: (evil smirk) Let's see…
Lavi: Uh oh, looks like Dark Allen came out…this is NOT going to be pretty.
(Both grab the other's fist and start struggling)
Winry: C'MON ED!!!!
(Allen's arm slowly inches closer to the table)
Allen: Not by a long shot. INNOCENCE ACTIVATE!
(Allen's arm transform, causing the FMA people to gasp in surprise)
Lavi: And Allen finally activates his arm! I was wondering whether or not he would…
Havoc: Wow, that's…kinda freaky…
(Dark) Allen: (cackles madly)
Lavi: With Allen's arm activated, it's only a matter of time before Ed loses…
Ed: Damnit, I won't lose!
(Ed pushes even harder)
Havoc: And look at that stalemate! I haven't seen anything this close since Ed's match with the colonel.
Winry: ED YOU BETTER WIN!!!
Cross: (pushes past Winry) Ah, so my idiot apprentice is competing again?
Winry: Weren't you being chased by Mrs. Izumi?
Cross: I shook her off…(flashes charming smile) So, what are you doing tonight?
Allen: Oh look, Master is talking to your "childhood friend…"
Ed: WHAT!?! (turns to look. His arm moves towards the table)
Winry: (sweat drops) Aren't you a bit old for me?
Cross: Not old enough to teach you a few things…(wink)
Cross: So, what are you doing?
Winry: I'll probably look over Ed's automail…
Cross:...So the blond runt is your boyfriend.
Winry: (blushes even harder)N-no, he's a client!
Ed: FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME, WINRY IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!!
(Arm inches closer to the table)
Havoc: Woah, looks like the boss is too distracted to focus…
Allen: Shouldn't you be focusing on me?
Cross: Do you like wine?
Winry: I'm too young for that…
Cross: (leans closer) How about you join me for dinner after you're done with the blond runt? (flashes most charming smile)
Ed: DAMNIT GET AWAY FROM HER!! (Arm hits the table)
Bookman: Match over! Winner is Allen!
Ed: I LOST!?!
Allen: Sure did.
Winry: My automail lost…
Cross: Don't worry, we can still have a party in my room…
Ed: DAMNIT, I'LL RIP YOUR LEGS OFF AND SHOVE EM' UP YOUR ASS! (leaps towards Cross)
Cross: Here's my room number (scribbles on Winry's hand) See you tonight (winks, then runs off)
Allen: Wow….Master was actually helpful for once…I almost feel sorry for Ed…EXCEPT I WON! HAHAHAHA! (Dark Allen flashes)
Havoc: Man, that kid can be scary…
Lavi: You can say that again! Well, looks like this match is over and I have no chance with the pretty blond girl…
(Bookman crashes through the window and kicks Lavi in the back of the head)
Bookman: Stop fooling around!
Havoc: Well, we've had four exciting rounds of action and FMA and DGM are tied once again. Join us next time for another round of Best-at-Stuff competition! This is Havoc-
Lavi: (from under Bookman's foot)-and Lavi-
Havoc: signing out.