I own nothing.
People talk about "dysfunctional" families; I've never seen any other kind - Sue Grafton
Chapter Nineteen – Conversations
"I just wanted to let you all know that I have spoken to Jasper and he will be returning home within the next few days," Carlisle informed us finally emerging from his office.
"Where was he? Was he with anyone? Is he okay?" I questioned. If he had just let me be the one to call him I would not have to waste my time asking these questions.
"We did not have much of a conversation. I don't believe that he was in the right frame of mind to discuss what was happening in his life right now."
"He asked about me though, right?" Alice demanded to know as if there was no chance that it was not the first words out of his mouth. She really was a piece of work.
"I'm sorry he did not. I'm sure he is waiting to speak to you in person," Carlisle told her trying to soften the blow that Jasper hadn't given a damn about asking how Alice was. I mean seriously did she think he gave a shit about her after what she did to him?
"Of course he can't wait to speak to me in person. I am sure that there are many other things he can't wait to do with me in person," she giggled and her high pitched voice was like nails on a chalkboard. God I wondered just when she had become so irritating? When had I started to dislike her so much?
"Yeah like slap you senseless," Emmett added. I smiled at him thinking I was going to have to reward him later for just being him. He really did have this special way of saying just that right thing at the most perfect moment.
"You better watch it Emmett or I'll be slapping you," Alice threatened. Emmett just laughed but I was not going to let it go.
"Listen just because you don't have your own personal whipping board anymore does not mean that you get to attack my husband."
"That is enough all of you. I have had more than enough of this bickering between you. We are a family and we need to act like a family. Now I am going to go and speak to Chief Swan about what we ALL can do to help with the search for Bella. Behave yourselves," Carlisle instructed as he exited the house.
I waited until I was sure that he was out of hearing distance before I started in again on Alice.
"When Jasper gets back here you are going to tell him everything and I do mean everything and you will be doing in front of all of us," I explained to her.
"Like hell I will. I'm already planning a little getaway for us so that we can talk and reconnect in private," Alice explained to me smugly as she picked up a magazine flipping through it as if anything I had to say to her was just boring her. I wanted to whip that magazine out of her hands and beat her with it.
"Like hell you will. There is no way that I am going to let you get him alone so you can tell him what you want him to know and fill his head with more of your self-serving lies. Jasper is going to know all your dirty little secrets. I will personally tell him about your plotting and scheming to get what you wanted," I told her knowing what she had planned. Alice was always good at painting pretty little pictures of how she wanted things to be. I just never knew before recently that she was lying to make sure things turned out the way she wanted.
"God stop acting like Mother Fucking Teresa. You are far from perfect."
"I might not be perfect but what I am is real. If I don't like you I don't pretend I do. If I think you are acting like a bitch I tell you. I am not a devious, calculating bitch that hides her feelings or who lies to people's faces. I am real and you my dear little sister are not."
"You tell her Rosie."
"Shut up Emmett," Alice yelled, "I'm sorry Rosalie. I really am but I did not marry a man dumber than a box of rocks. There is no reason for you to pretend anything, to lie about anything because he would never know the difference."
"You little bitch," I hissed leaping for her but before I could reach her two familiar strong arms encased me.
"Come on Rosie baby let's get out of here for awhile. The stink of corruption is overwhelming my delicate senses," Emmett announced leading me out of the house but not before I left Alice with a final thought.
"We are not done."
I would be relieved to be out of the house and away from my bickering children if it was not for where I was heading. I was not sure how this meeting was going to go. I was not looking forward to it for many reasons.
How do you console a parent that had lost a child, their only child? I could not imagine the heart ache. I did not even want to think about it. As troublesome as they could be causing me untold amounts of stress I could not vision my life without each and every one of them.
Pulling up Chief Swan's cruiser was parked in the driveway right next to Bella's truck. I took deep breaths as the reality of the situation slide over me. Bella was not going to be in there when I went in. She was gone. The beautiful sweet girl I thought of as my own daughter was gone.
Charlie looked like I felt, lost and mournful.
He didn't speak as he moved aside letting me in. He walked past me to the living room dropping on the couch popping a beer. He motioned for me to sit.
"Want one?" he asked.
"I didn't expect you to show up here. It was not necessary."
"It was necessary. Bella was like family to us and once we heard all we could think about was what we could do to help. Has there been any news?" I asked.
"Nothing. It is as if she was abducted by aliens. She has dropped off the face of the earth. Every fucking one wants me to believe that she was killed by some animal in the woods but would there not be something left of her? There isn't. She is just gone," he moaned and my heart broke for him.
"If there is anything we can do just let us know. We could bring in some extra crews to do more searches and I have contacts through out the world. I could send out her information hoping that she just ran away," I told him not knowing what else to do.
"It is so nice of you to come running offering all the help your money can buy. And why is that good doctor? Do you think that offering your help now will ease some of the guilt over abandoning my daughter? Well you know what…it won't. The agony that your family and your son put my daughter through can never be undone. In one swoop her best friend, her other family, and her boyfriend was all gone. It broke her. My daughter no longer lived. She was just a shell. So don't come running now asking how you can help. As far as I'm concerned your family killed her long before she went missing," Charlie accused as he down the beer his eyes lined with tears he was trying to hold in.
"I truly am sorry for any pain we caused Bella. It was never our intension."
"Yeah well the road to hell is paved with good intentions isn't it? Welcome to hell doc."
I left after that. Nothing I would say or do would help and my mere presence was just causing him unneeded pain. I could not help but think about the things that he had said to me.
How culpable were we in what had happened to Bella? Had our decision to leave her somehow set in motion the disappearance of Bella? I was not sure if we would ever know but the guilt settled inside of me as if as Chief Swan had said we killed her ourselves.
"Carlisle?" Edward questioned as I came walking into the house. I had started blocking my thoughts miles before I arrived home.
"Did you talk to Charlie?"
"Yes I met with him. There is no new news. I offered my help if there was anything I could do. Right now there is not. I am sorry," I told my son wondering if any of us would ever have any closure when it came to Bella, especially Edward.
"This is all my fault. I am to blame for whatever has happened to her. All I wanted was to protect her," he moaned sorrowful.
"I know but you can't go back. You did what you believed to be best and I know what it cost you to leave her. You just have to move forward. That is all any of us can do. "
"There is no moving forward. I don't want to see another sunrise if she is not here to see it with me."
"Edward stop being so overly dramatic. I know you are hurting but crawling up in a ball wishing to end it all is far from the answer. If you feel like this is your fault and that you didn't do right by her go out and fix it," I informed him not able to handle his whining at the moment. I just had too much going on right now to indulge in his self deprecating rant.
"What can I possible do?"
"Figure it out."
Emmett and I were just walking up to the house when Edward came huffing out like someone had just pissed in his Volvo.
"What's got your pea coat in a bunch?" I asked him as he stormed passed us.
"Mine your own business."
"Come on Edward you know in this family personal business does not exist. So what is going on with you now?"
"Carlisle just got back from seeing Chief Swan. There is still no news about Bella. She is just gone."
"I'm sorry bro. I feel for you. I really do. Bells was family," Emmett consoled.
"And you know what we do to family right…we throw them away. Drop the act Edward. Playing the grieving boyfriend would come off better if you hadn't discarded her months ago in your vain attempt to save her soul. You should be celebrating. You got your way. She's dead Edward and you saved her soul so she could live forever in heaven instead of forever with you," I told him sick and tired of him playing the victim.
The low growl that started in the bottom of his throat and headed out his mouth was meant to scare me but I was anything but scare. I could take him and even if I couldn't I had my own personal body guard stepping in front of me.
"Don't think about it. Just walk away. I don't want to have to rip your head off."
"Fucking do it. Rip my fucking head off and light me on fire. I want you to. Come on big man," Edward hissed pushing Emmett.
Emmett just shook his head in disgust and started walking towards the house.
"Pathetic," I mumbled as I walked passed him which sent him off running with his tail between his legs.
"You know Rosie baby you got to stop picking on Edward and Alice. One of these times I am not going to be around to protect you."
"I don't need you to protect me. I can take care of myself especially when it comes to Alice and Edward."
"I know you can baby but can you please let up. I haven't had any peace and quiet in days. It is starting to affect my video games scores."
"The whole family is falling apart around you and all you care about is video games," I accused my temper rising.
"No not just video games. I care about other things too like sex. Which we haven't been having enough of lately either if you want to know."
All I could do was slap him upside the head.
"What was that for?"
"Just for being you."
"You're so mean," Emmett huffed running up to our room with that sickening puppy dog face.
Oh crap now I was going to have to go have sex with him.