Author's Note: I almost feel bad. The only reason I wrote this is because I wanted more Deadpool/Storm, and Paper Planes' side project is just taking too long. That's my only excuse and I'm runnin' with it.

This is a little series of five shots. (Well, actually they're smaller than shots. At least one is, I -know-. What is that called anyway? A mini-shot? Shot and a half? Drabble and three quarters? Shot with a twist of lime? Moving on...)

I got to thinking about the pairing itself, specifically on Wade's side. Wade Wilson is A LOT of things. But what he isn't, is normal. And where one person would have one love style, maybe two. Well. Wade has five.

And as with any new relationship, there are learning curves. Luckily, Stormy's rollin' with the punches.


" This has never happened to me before, I swear."

In her time as a new American teenager and young adult, Ororo Munroe had read a lot of romance novels. Some, she knew were just too ridiculous to be even remotely true. With their flowery language and absurd euphemisms. Then you had those that were just right. The man was honest enough and real enough, the female was awkward and/or confident enough. It all ended up being just sweet.

She never pictured herself as dating a man and having their intimate encounters being something in the way of rose petals on the bed sheets, or candles lit all around the bathtub. It was a nice fantasy but sort of impractical. After all, somebody had to clean that up later on.

In fact, anything she had ever pictured when it came to relationships had to be severely reconstructed when she decided to get involved with Wade T. Wilson.

The Weather Goddess shook her hair out for what felt like the fourth time. " How does that just happen?"

" Sometimes, I get really excited and it just...goes off. I am so sorry, 'Ro." Deadpool tried really hard not to look down at his offending waist. " You didn't get any on you, did you?"

" Just in my hair, but I think it is all gone now. That's the wonder of summoning your own showers, you know."

Somehow, the Merc With a Mouth managed to look completely remorseful while his face was completely covered. He kept his head down as if he were expecting the sky to open up and end him at any moment. " I really am sorry."

" Wade," He almost flinched at her contact on his arm. Almost. " I am not upset. I imagine this kind of thing is somewhat normal among heroes and the like. All things considered, I'm surprised it hasn't happened earlier."

Deadpool huffed. " Well you never put your hands down there earlier. You don't know what you do to me, woman. Even now, after this series of unfortunate events, well aware that you might want to blast me to Eureka's Castle, I still want to know, do things."

" Well, what are you waiting for?" She was giving him that smile. The one that made him trip on shoelaces he wasn't wearing. The one that gave his well-trained and enhanced senses tunnel vision. The one that could make him, the Merc with a Mouth, speechless.

" You still...want to?" Say yes, say yes. Big money, big money! No whammy, no whammy!

Ororo gave him an answer in the form of crawling atop his body. Her hair a white curtain over them as she looked down at him. " Of course I do. But."

Dammit! Just when you're about to get what you want, there's always somebody's big butt in the way! Rassum frassum... "But...?"

She couldn't fight it anymore. A smile broke over her features and she lifted a hand to tap his belt. " Please deactivate your teleportation belt beforehand. The first trip was bad enough with just algae in my hair. Next time, we might end up some place decidedly less secluded than Central Park's Lake at 2am."