Hey so, remember when we said this was over? Well . . . we lied! BYE!
Chapter 15: Conclusion
April 14, 2009
It took us all a few days to clean everything up but soon everything was clean.
April 14, 2009
I really hate packing peanuts. I mean, honestly, what kind of crazy person created these things?! He must have been a loon!
April 14, 2009
Of course, some people took it better than others. Most of us cleaned with minimal complaining and finished our work quickly. Edward, however, just kept clomping around in his bedroom screaming either in agony or about how much he really hated packing peanuts and the man who invented them.
Esme also had us write formal apology letters to everyone and every business in town that we had affected with our pranks. So that took several days. Especially after Esme had to start proof-reading all our letters. Emmett kept running out of things to say before the end of the page so there was always a paragraph of nothing but "I hate Newton" written over and over again. Needless to say Newton was not very happy when he received his letter, which had nothing but "I hate Newton" written in it.
April 18, 2009
Finally we had cleaned everything and even apologized to everyone who we had caused trouble for, directly or indirectly. Now, life could return to normal. And, for once, it looked like that was actually going to happen. I was leaning against Edward on the couch in the living room watching a TV show, Alice was sitting at the foot of the couch, doing her nails and laughing every time something funny was about to happen. Rosalie was playing cards with Emmett, Carlisle and Esme, and winning by the sound of it. Only Jasper was no where to be found, which wasn't that unusual. By now we had just stopped searching for him. If something important happened he would come find us.
Like now, for instance.
"That's it! I have solved the mystery," Jasper exclaimed as he ran into the room. He looked like he had just jumped out of a mystery novel. He looked like an exact replica of Sherlock Holmes. He had on black pants, a black vest and tie over a white shirt. And then he had on the classic tweed jacket, matching hat, and even had the classic pipe and magnifying glass with him.
"Jasper, what are you talking about," I asked. "What mystery?"
"Well, that's elementary, dear Watson."
"Don't call me Watson," I said.
"Don't call her Watson," Edward echoed.
"I have solved the mystery of the Prank War," Jasper continued, ignoring us completely. "I have concluded that this whole shebang began with . . ." Jasper paused dramatically, making sure he had everyone's attention. Once he had everyone's attention he held the magnifying glass up to his eye.
"AH," I screamed, involuntarily.
"It all began with . . . Edward! He was the one to put that clown make-up on you, Bella."
We all gasped and I jumped away from Edward on the couch. He just sat there and kept watching the TV.
"That was YOU?! Oh my gosh,"" I shrieked. "Then that means . . ."
"Yes, my dear," Jasper said, "You pranked an innocent Emmett."
"Emmett," I said, "I'm so sorry I put that ink in your truck."
"That's alright Bella," Emmett said, he still looked a little sad but then he cheered up, "I got to prank Edward so it's all good!"
Now it was Edward's turn to glare. "That was you? I thought Rosalie put the dye in my hair and wrote my phone number on the back of that shirt. Do you have any idea how much trouble that caused me?!"
"And then, the culprit, Edward, pranked Miss Rosalie."
"You ruined my clothes," Rosalie said. She grabbed her nearby tranquilizer gun and fired into Edward's neck.
"Hrm, yes. As I recall," Jasper said in a terrible British accent, "That's exactly what you did to me. And, if I recall, the same thing one Bella Swan did to me, as well."
I paled. "You made those myfaces?" Jasper nodded. "Uh-oh. Then that means I-"
"Pranked Carlisle for no reason."
"Oh dear," Carlisle said. "Esme, dear, I owe you an apology, I thought you had swapped all my medical supplies for candy."
"You should be sorry. You nearly ruined my living room."
"And then of course there was the senseless prank that had absolutely no purpose. Rosalie switching everyone's clothes."
"Well," Rosalie said, "I didn't actually get to pull a prank, I just shot Jasper with a tranquilizer dart, and I do that all the time already."
"Well after you did that I still got my revenge on Carlisle by making him lick everything off the couch and arranging for his patients to come to the house."
Carlisle jumped out of his chair and crashed into the table, sending the playing cards jumping into the air. "That was you?! My patients lost all respect for me after that!"
"So is that why you crashed Bella's truck and made it look like she was in a car accident?"
"Wait, that was just you're idea," I gasped. "I thought everyone was in on it!"
"No," Carlisle said, "That was all me."
"You sound proud of yourself . . ."
"And after that came the most devastating prank of all," Jasper said in a low, mysterious voice, like he was the announcer for a new suspense/thriller movie. "The whole house was rearranged and no one, not even Alice, knew that it had happened."
"Yes, well," I started to blush, suddenly embarrassed and worried that I had gone too far. "I needed some help and since I thought everyone had been in on the last prank I couldn't ask any of you. So . . . I asked the werewolves to help me."
Everyone made a face, even Edward who was still unconscious.
"What? Would you rather have me ask Newton to help?"
This time everyone shuddered violently. Edward fell off the couch and began to spasm on the floor uncontrollably. He did this for the next five minutes. After the first ten seconds we all ignored him.
"And after that Carlisle activated the mind control device that he-"
"Emmett!" We all turned to stare at Emmett. Carlisle stopped making slashing motions over his throat since Jasper had finally stopped talking. I was poised mid-step over Edward's still-twitching body, paused mid-storm on my way to Carlisle.
"Well everyone else was calling out names," Emmett said quietly, "I didn't want to be left out." We all continued to stare at him. "Hey look over there!" We all turned to look where Emmett was pointing and when we looked back his shirt lay in tatters around his feet. He had his hands on his hips and was making his biceps "dance" as he put it. He looked very proud of himself. We continued to stare at him. Slowly his biceps stopped dancing and he looked at the floor. "Hey look over there!"
We fell for it again. We all turned to look and when we turned back again, the door that separated the living room from the main hall was swinging back and forth. Slowly it stopped. Then started again. Then stopped. Started. Stopped. Swung one last time and then remained still.
"Where'd that door come from," Esme asked.
As quickly as it had appeared, the door had vanished, along with Emmett.
"Ooookay," I said slowly.
"Anyway," Jasper said. "Getting back on track. Carlisle implanted the mind control device in Bella and then made her attack Jacob, and then Mike, quite violently, I might add."
"Well I guess that's not too bad," I said.
"Exactly," Carlisle said, nonetheless edging away from me.
"And then it ended up with everyone throwing pies in the mall."
We all nodded.
"Well," Esme said. "I propose a toast." She went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of juice for me and empty glasses for the rest of her family. "To Bella and her first April Fool's Day!"
"To Bella," Everyone echoed, clinking their glasses together.
April 20, 2009
I didn't know how long I'd been out, but I figured it had to have been a while. When I woke up I was in some sort of dark, cramped space. And I was upside-down. My knees were pressed against my forehead and, had I been human, there would have been a terrible crick in my neck. As it was I just figured that Alice had played a key role in this.
I noticed there was something taped to my leg and, being able to see clearly in darkness, I quickly identified it as a note from Alice.
"Yes this was my idea and yes you are in a box. ~Alice."
Well that solved that problem. Now all I had to do was get out. Although this was easier said than done. After several minutes, and a lot of strange and uncomfortable maneuvers, I managed to get myself upright and climbed out of the box. I looked around. There were a lot more boxes scattered around a big steel-walled room. At first I figured Alice had just dumped me in storage. And then I noticed there was a window. I climbed over to it and peeked out.
Stretching out before me was an ending ocean. Interrupted only by waves and seagulls.
April 20, 2009
Rodger McRodgerson's POV
April 20, 2009
Somewhere in a small village in Scotland
April 21, 2009
"Why won't he stop screaming?!" I had my hands over my ears and was storming around the Cullens house angrily. I had been the last one to hear the screaming but sure enough, it was there. And it had been going for an entire day. Though the night! It was beyond infuriating.
"EDWARD SHUT UP!"
Of course that didn't work.
But soon Alice sent out the most powerful thought she could handle and finally I began to hear the scream die down.
"Finally. What did you tell him," I asked Alice.
"That if he didn't stop screaming I'd make you make out with Mike Newton and send him the pictures."