AN: Hey everybody! I'm back! I just got a new laptop, and guess what that means! I CAN UPDATE MORE OFTEN! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me. Oh, I almost forgot: I do not own Twilight, the song Barbie Girl, Maybelline, or YouTube.
Chapter 3- Edward the Model
I scanned the list to see what I would have to do next. My eyes widened when I found my task: Tell Charlie that Edward wears body glitter. Wow! This is going to be great!
"Alright everyone! It's time for phase two of plan: ATCOOC!" I announced.
"ATCOOC?" asked Edward.
I sighed. My brothers were failures when it came to acronyms.
"It means: Annoy The Crap Out Of Charlie." I explained.
'"Oh!" they all exclaimed.
"Okay. We have approximately 5 hours to get this up and running. Edward, I need you and Bella to go outside." I ordered.
"Why?" asked Bella.
"Because it is your job to take some sexy 'modeling' photos of Edward in the sun." I explained.
"But we'll be exposed!" Edward yelled.
"No we won't." I said, grinning smugly.
"How?" asked Bella, obviously confused.
"Well, our next task on the list of ways to annoy Charlie is to tell him that Edward wears body glitter. So that will be the explanation of the glittering, so no exposure. Be we need proof of Edward's body glitter. That's where the photos come in." I stated.
Edward swiftly pulled me aside; looking at me with pleading eyes.
"Alice, he'll think I'm gay!" he whispered.
"So?" I asked.
"So what will that say about me and Bella being married?" he asked.
All of a sudden, I had a vision. Charlie was screaming at the top of his lungs for Edward to get out of his house. Then Edward began to explain the situation, and Charlie began laughing hysterically.
"Well, we'll have to see what Charlie thinks about this." I said, hiding my thoughts with my favorite song.
"Alice, why are you singing Barbie Girl over and over in your head?" Edward asked, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"I like this song." I replied.
"Ugh!" exclaimed an exasperated Edward, as he took Bella's hand and marched out the door.
One hour later….
Edward and Bella came home with the pictures.
I took them out and picked the best ones. (link on my profile of the best ones)
Bella handed me a rolled up poster.
"What's this?" I asked.
"Open it!" exclaimed Bella, trying not to laugh.
I unrolled it to see a poster of Edward. But it was the title that made me laugh. It said "GAY SPARKLE" with Edward's face in the middle. Ha!
"I made it as a joke." said Bella, proudly.
I smiled at her, and then proceeded to bring it to my room.
"Alice, what are you doing with that?" asked Edward nervously.
"This is a work of art and must be properly framed!" I exclaimed.
"Alice, no!" Edward cried.
"But it's brilliant and I REALLY want to! Please, please, please, pleeeeaaassse!" I whined.
Edward covered his ears. "Fine! Just stop whining!"
"Thanks!" I said.
"Soooo, now what?" asked Emmett.
"Now it is time to head over to Charlie's!" I exclaimed.
The family was once again stationed at the window with a video camera.
I knocked on the door twice and Charlie opened it.
"Oh. Hello Alice. How may I help you?" he asked.
"Um, well I have something to tell you." I said, solemnly.
"Oh, okay," said Charlie, looking confused, "come right in."
I took a seat on the couch next to Charlie.
"Well, I don't know how to say this…but I have some news. It's about Edward." I started.
"Did something bad happen?" asked Charlie, trying to look concerned, but not masking the excitement in his eyes. I heard a growl outside. Sorry Edward, I thought, but you know who his first choice was for Bella. I heard a sigh and some chuckling; probably from Emmett.
"Well, it has to do with a secret of his." I said.
"I'm all ears." said Charlie, grinning.
"Well…he wears, um, body glitter." I told him.
"I know it's hard to comprehend, but it's the truth." I said.
"Is he…you know?" asked Charlie.
"I don't know what you're talking about Charlie, but whatever it is, it will have to wait. I have to head home." I said.
"Oh, alright." replied Charlie.
"But here are some of the pictures as proof of the glitter." I said
I slid them towards him, and then I left and went to meet my family.
"See, I told you he thinks I'm gay!" exclaimed Edward.
"Aw, poor Eddy! So confused." said Emmett, putting his hand on Edward's shoulder.
"I am NOT confused! I am straight!" Edward yelled.
"Whatever." said Jasper, grinning smugly.
"Alrighty," I said, "You and Bella should go inside now."
"You mean I have to face him?" asked Edward, horrified.
"Yep, now go!" I commanded.
I looked at the pictures one by one. I knew it! I knew he was gay! That means he's just using my daughter as a cover up! How dare he! When he gets here, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind!
Just then, Edward walked in with Bella.
"Hey, Bells. Edward." I said.
"Hi dad." chirped Bella.
"Hey Bells, could you go upstairs and do some laundry for me?" I asked.
"Sure dad." She replied.
She headed upstairs, tripping a few times, and then I turned to Edward.
"Come here boy!" I barked.
"Yes?" he asked.
"I know your secret." I told him.
"His eyes widened, and he looked towards the window nervously. Then as if someone assured him that nothing was wrong, he turned around, looking calm.
"What secret?" he asked.
"That you're gay and wear body glitter." I said.
"What?" he asked confused.
"Don't play dumb with me! I know everything! How dare you use my daughter as a cover up! Get out of my house!" I yelled.
"Charlie, you have it all wrong. I need to support Bella and Renesmee, and bring in money, so I have a job as a model. Those pictures you have of me are from my latest shoot." Edward explained.
"Which is?" I asked.
"Well, I'm the new male model for Maybelline. I'm modeling their new glitter body powder." He said.
I was shocked. Edward, a model? Ha!
"Hahahaha!" I laughed.
"See, I'm not gay." He said, smiling.
"I guess you're right. Sorry, Edward." I said, still chuckling.
"No problem." he replied.
Then he turned to leave, but then stopped.
He turned around and whispered something in my ear.
"You can keep the photos if you like."
He winked at me and left. OH MY GOD! He winked at me. I need to go lie down.
Edward walked out of the house. We caught the entire thing on tape!
"Edward, that was brilliant!" I cried.
"Thanks!" He said, smiling.
A few seconds later, Bella came out.
"Charlie had to go lie down. He was muttering something about Edward and Maybelline." She said, while looking at Edward questionably.
"It's a long story, love." he answered.
"Let's go home and put this on YouTube!" I exclaimed.
"Alright, but before we do that, who is going to do the next one?" asked Bella.
Just then Jacob came running out of the forest.
"I WILL!" He yelled.
"Alrighty then. Jacob shall do the next one. Now lets go put this on the web!" I cried.
So we all headed home to watch and post Charlie's video.
I hope you all liked that. Was that long enough for ya'll? It was 7 pages on Microsoft Word. Wow! Please read and review!