Title: Jim & Len plus ten
Summary: Written for this prompt: "I'd like to see an updated space!version of that without the messy public divorce part. Titled, cleverly, 'Jim and Len Plus Ten'.
See, due to the wonders of modern science, Jim and Bones (who's pissed that he's named as 'Len' in the title just because it rhymes with 'ten' ... nobody ever calls him that) somehow had ten kids. Don't ask how it happened (or who carried them), because they haven't gotten any sleep in a rather long time and it's hard to recall--all they know is, as a photogenic and well-known galaxy-saving couple, they've been roped (as promotion for Starfleet?) into doing these TV specials about their family and life aboard the Enterprise....Write it in script format if it's easier. Make one of them (or hey, both of them) female if mpreg's not your thing. I just want insane crackfic that's cute and chaotic." from st_xi_kink on LJ. My version of an introduction of the Kirk & McCoy clan.
Warning: a bit of swearing.
Disclaimer: All Star Trek characters do not belong to me. They are sole property of G. Roddenberry. I'm just playing with them a bit. Their kids belong to me though.
Jim & Len plus ten
The comfortable red couch currently occupied by two figures was bathed in an overabundance of white light, but this didn't seem to faze them as they eyed the small camera just off centre in front of them. The woman holding the man's hand goes first.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Lenore McCoy, CMO of the U.S.S. Enterprise." She turned to the man beside.
The man's blue eyes gleam in the light. "I'm Jim Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise."
"And this is our family," the couple say in unison just before the camera dimmed.
A picture of two, pale blond children, around the age of 8 or 9 flashed on the screen behind the couch suddenly. "These are our two oldest, David and Georgia, they're fraternal twins. David's a minute and twelve seconds older than Georgia. Georgia has complete heterochromia; one eye is light blue while the other is dark blue with a bit of hazel around the iris. Out of the two of them she is also the wilder one," The camera pans to Jim and he at least had the decency to blush a bit, before returning to the screen behind the couch, which now showed a picture of the twins with a slightly balding, beaming engineer in a red shirt sandwiched between them. "David wants to be a engineer like his Uncle Monty, but Georgia delights in bringing her father and I closer and closer to full blown coronaries." The picture changed again, this time to a picture of Georgia hanging upside down, hands free, on the uneven bars in the gym, with a huge grin on her small face.
"In little more than a week, they'll be 10," the pride in Lenore's voice carried easily over the mic and had the small camera crew smile in spite of themselves. "They were born a little over 2 years after we began our first five year mission. Davy and Georgia missed out being the first kids born on the Enterprise by a week and 3 days thanks to Grayson's impatience."
The camera zooms back to Lenore. She's smiling, if a little pinched around the edges. "In hindsight we should have stopped at two if we had known what was good for us."
On the screen appeared a picture of three tiny bald headed babies, leaning against one another, and one was dressed in a pale pink sundress while the other two were decked out in pale blue overall shorts. "These are our first set of triplets, Adam, Blaine and Christy," Lenore informed the camera happily.
"Lenore didn't want them all to start with the same letter, no matter how hard I tried." Jim interjected from his place off camera. "So we compromised and have an A, B, C."
"Yeah," Lenore agreed. "It's the only way the damned man would shut his mouth."
The picture changed to show a younger version of David and Georgia sitting on a similar couch with identical grins on their faces supporting slightly bigger versions of Adam, Blaine, and Christy: all five staring at the camera with similar blue eyes. "We started trying for another baby around the twins 4th birthday and got pregnant almost immediately. About 6 weeks later I found out it was triplets."
"By this time Spock, our science officer and my first officer, and his wife Uhura, our communications expert, had had another two, which brought the total number of kids on the Enterprise up to 5 and counting. And yet I still hadn't requested the ship be refitted to G-class." Jim said. "She was about 6 months pregnant with the triplets when Starfleet accepted my request and just barely 7 when we docked at a Terra base just off the coast San Francisco."
The picture changed yet again. In it was all five children, David and Georgia on the outside and Adam, Blaine, and Christy in the middle in a side-by-side triplet stroller, standing just in front of the ancient Golden Gate Bridge, all five had bucket hats that seemed to drown them and sunglasses that swallowed their faces on, but all five were smiling. "Unsurprisingly the triple terrors were born Earth side while docked in San Fran. We were able to do a shore leave there just before their first birthday. That's when this picture was taken."
The picture changed a couple seconds later. This one showed only Christy, around the age of 2, on Spock's lap in the Cafeteria deeply engrossed in the P.A.D.D. he had on the table in front of her to appease her long enough to eat his meal. Her blonde hair had been pulled back into a tiny, curly ponytail and the tiny dress she wore seemed to be made out of the same material and was the same colour as Spock's tunic. "Christy's our little Science Geek," Jim cut in, speaking for Lenore. "Almost as soon as she could decipher shapes, she attached herself to Spock and has yet to let go. The dress is a joke. Its an exact miniature replica of a female science officer's dress that just somehow appeared on one of the transporter pads while we were just above San Fran…" His smile began to bleed heavily into his words as he continued. "Thanks for that, Admiral, by the way. Christy loved it."
The next picture is of both younger boys, in identical yellow tunics; black Capri's and black boots. "Same story here, Adam's on the left and Blaine's on the right; I guess since David already had the Engineering side of things down pat they did not think they needed another red shirt in the family-"
Lenore's voice sounded suddenly. "Boy, were they wrong with that one."
The camera returned to Jim's face for just a split second to watch him grin before cutting back to the screen. This time it's a picture of all seven of them, Jim and Lenore in full dress uniforms and the kids, all a little older, in matching three piece suits and dresses; all their hair pulled away from their faces and showing their lightly freckled faces.
"This was when Jim got an award for…something…Jim?"
"Forgive her pregnancy brain-"
"There's no such thing, Jim."
The camera flashed to Jim and he grinned. "I got an award for five years of Captaincy, apparently a pretty big feat in Starfleet. Don't ask me where it went. Blaine took off with it that night and I haven't seen it in almost 2 years."
The picture that followed was yet another set of three bald headed, bleary-eyed babies. This time two were in pink and one in blue. "I found out I was pregnant again when the triplets were almost three. 7 months later our second group of triplets, 2 girls and boy were born."
"Yeah, can you guess their names?" Jim was heard, obvious smile in his voice. "Holly, Isabel, and Jake. We already had D and G. I'm hoping the next ones are E & F."
"Be quiet, Jim."
The next picture was of David, Georgia, Adam, Blaine, and Christy sat on a beige coloured couch on one of the observation decks. The two oldest sat on the outside and three youngest in the middle, each triplet supporting a younger triplet. "This one is up in my office. By this time, we had started becoming quite a scene on the ship, but they were never bothered by anyone. They all preformed well in their classes and had their own friends. This was taken on the triplets last day of preschool. I took it for Jim because he hadn't been able to attend it. He was on some planet on some diplomatic mission. Hell if I can remember what."
The next picture was a group photo of Uhura, Spock, their four children, Chekov, his wife and their son, Sulu, his partner and their daughter, Scotty, Keenser, David, Georgia, Adam, Blaine, Christy, Holly, Isabel, and Jake smiling brightly at the cameraman. "This is another office picture. I got this from the kids on my birthday. It's just…brilliant. My kids are brilliant-"a noise that sounded suspiciously like the beginnings of a sob cut Lenore off. "Excuse me."
Silence ruled for a bit longer and then Jim started talking. "Ok! Next picture!"
This one was of another set of twins. Identical twin girls; unlike the ones before, these two were decisively ginger. "These genetic anomalies-ow-ok! Sorry! These two are currently our youngest. Kyla and Lillian…because apparently my wife can't have just one-ow! Stop!"
Silence again and then it's Lenore who started talking. "Kyla and Lilly were a huge surprise. They're exactly a year and 2 days younger than Holly, Isabel and Jake. I had just stopped treating myself for sleep deprivation again, when I found out I was pregnant again."
The picture faded to Kyla and Lillian, small faces caked in vanilla icing and surrounded by their 8 siblings on what could only be their birthday. "It was a little iffy with Kyla when they were born, she'd been the unfortunate victim of twin-to-twin transfusion and we-they just managed to get her out in time. She was in the hospital for nearly 3 months. We actually had to dock on Terra to get her the best help possible. She wouldn't have survived if she hadn't been a stubborn fool like her father."
"While Kyla got better in the hospital I requested a little work be done on the ship to better accommodate all the kids. When we returned 3 months later…god, they had give us half a deck. But," Jim smiled. "I guess we needed it."
"Yup," Lenore agreed quietly. "Next picture please." The following picture was an ultrasound of two distinct figures.
"See!" Jim chuckled. "There's E & F!"
"Shut up, Jim." Lenore said.
The camera closed in on her again and she blushed rather profusely. "I found out about 6 weeks ago that I'm pregnant again and for what I hope will be the last time because dammit, I'm a doctor not a rabbit! Sleep is nowhere in our future for at least the next 20 years. A human should not suffer sleep deprivation for so long nor have that many kids in such a short span of time, but…"
Lenore turned her head to glower at Jim for a bit before she turned back to the camera. "That's our family. It's big, it's insane, but it's ours and we-I-we wouldn't want it any other way."
"Yup," Jim agreed off camera.
The camera widened it shot for the last time and then closed in on the screen, which now showed a picture of Jim and Lenore and their large bunch before fading slowly to black.