A/N: I watched Harold and Kumar go to White Castle the other day, and it was great. Then I remembered an episode of 90210 (the new one) and that was hilarious too! So, technically this idea isn't really mine… but I am bringing it to the Lie to Me world, so… :p
Oh, and for this fic, Gillian Foster just got a new apartment.
Warning: Drug use is used here, in a very comical way and if you find that distasteful then don't read.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Gillian walked into Lightman Group with a large smile on her face and a half eaten brownie in her hand. "Good morning, Heidi." She paused at Heidi's desk, "Is Lightman in yet?"
The young receptionist nodded, "He's in his office."
Foster gave a curt nod and walked towards his office. She knocked once and then entered. Lightman waved her off and she plopped herself into a large armchair across from him. She took another bite of the brownie.
"Seriously? It's seven o'clock in the morning." Lightman chided.
Foster just grinned. "This sweet little old lady gave it to me on my way out. She told me I needed some more 'happiness' in my life."
Lightman looked skeptical. "Sweet little old lady?"
Foster took another bite, "Yeah, she's a neighbor. Very sweet."
Lightman nodded apprehensively, "Good. Just get to work."
Foster smiled and stood up, popped the last of the brownie into her mouth and walked out the door.
A few hours later…
"Alright," Lightman paced in front of his employees, "we got Amanda trying to cover up something, but what?"
"I still think she's pregnant." Torres piped.
Lightman scrunched up his face, "Rubbish—" Suddenly Foster giggled. "Whut?"
Foster cleared her throat, "Nothing…" But the smile remained on her face. Lightman looked at her closely. He titled his head a bit, his eyes squinted and his mouth opened ever so slightly. Foster laughed again. "Please, don't do that."
Lightman's expression intensified, "What is going on with you?" Foster cleared her throat, held her breath and shook her head. She motioned for him to go on and Lightman noticed tears in her eyes. "Are you alright?" He asked, perplexed. Foster nodded vigorously and she bit her lip. Soon the corners of her mouth turned up, wrinkles adorned her eyes, as did more tears—one even slipped.
Lightman stared a moment longer and shook his before turning around and pacing again, by that time, however, Torres and Loker had noticed Foster's odd behavior. "Anyway," Lightman continued, "I don't think she's pregnant. She isn't 'glowing'," he added sarcastically. "What else could she be hiding?"
"An affair?" Loker offered.
Lightman bit his lip and soon his pen followed, "That might be a little more plausible." He looked towards Torres, "Did she show any signs of arousal when you mentioned a particular name?"
Foster giggled and covered her mouth, a guilty look plastered over her playful eyes. Torres looked at Foster, surprised, then blinked twice and returned her attention to Lightman. "Not that I saw. Although…" She paused and her eyes flashed through her memories, "something within her flicked when I mentioned her friend Isla."
Lightman snapped his fingers, "That's it. She's gay!"
Loker's eyes lit up, "And that's why she had to fake the affair, so Kevin wouldn't want her."
Lightman nodded more aggressively, "And when he didn't dump her she had fake the kidnapping and the whole ordeal."
Foster's eyes were slightly glazed and she blinked, "What?"
Lightman's head whipped in her direction, "What do you mean, 'What?'"
Foster bit her lip and looked down, "When you get really excited like that it gets really hard to understand." She looked up and smiled, "Hi, I'm Mr. Cal Lightman and I talk like this. I'm such a brute and I don't know how to smile. Blah, blah, blah…" She mocked in a fake British accent before giggling uncontrollably.
"Whut was that?" Lightman exclaimed.
"Whut was that?" Foster mocked.
Lightman groaned and Foster followed. He looked at her angrily, "My office." He stormed out and left the other three behind.
Torres and Loker looked at Foster with surprise. "What has gotten into you?" Asked Torres.
Foster shrugged. "I wonder what crawled up his ass." She giggled again and huffed herself up. "Oh, boy…" She turned around and faced the other two. "How much trouble do you think I'll be in?" She giggled again and walked out.
"Well…" Loker began, "that was weird."
Torres nodded fiercely, "I wonder what got into her."
Foster walked into Lightman's office lazily. "You wanted to see me, boss?" She asked, her voice deep as she attempted to sound manly.
"What the hell is going on?" Lightman asked with clear exasperation.
Foster walked in and plopped down on the chair, "Can't a girl be happy?"
Lightman shook his head, "Of course, but you aren't happy… Something is really off." Foster shrugged, "It's almost like, like…" Lightman continued and fumbled for words, "It's almost like your high."
Foster burst into another fit of laughter. "That is ridiculous!" She continued to laugh until she gasped and then her hands flew to her mouth and her eyes sprang wide open.
"Whut?" Lightman asked.
Foster laughed, "Please, stop." She shook her head and tried to focus, "I think sweet little old lady might be a hippie."
Foster nodded, "She has really long hair and wears these floral things with leather things and maybe some hemp things." She gasped again, "Sweet little old lady drugged me!" Lightman chuckled under his breath. Foster hit him, "This isn't funny!"
Lightman laughed, "I beg to differ."
Foster's eyes widened even more, "Oh God, I could get fired!" She looked over to Lightman and grabbed his arm, "What if you fire me for coming to work high?"
Lightman cocked his head, "Do you think I'm really that cruel?"
Foster shrugged, "I really can't read you. God, if you fire me I am so fubarred."
Lightman raised an eyebrow, "Fubarred?"
Foster nodded sadly and looked into the distance, "Fucked up beyond all recognition."
Lightman looked surprised, "Wow."
Foster nodded dolefully again, "Yeah. So," she looked at Lightman with puppy dog eyes, "don't fire me. Okay?" Lightman let the plea hang in the air, using all of his extensive training to keep a straight face. "Oh, God, please!"
The tension thickened in the air until suddenly Foster's stomach grumbled and Lightman couldn't hold back the laughter. "Just go home and get some rest, luv."
"Luv? So you aren't mad at me?" She asked, Lightman couldn't help but think she resembled a child.
Lightman shook his head and laughed, "Of course not."
She stood up and her stomach grumbled again. "Thank God, I'm starving!"
Foster walked into the office the next morning, her cheeks already tinged pink. She walked over to Heidi's office. "Good morning, Dr. Foster," the young receptionist greeted.
"Morning," as Foster walked away she heard Heidi's small laugh in the background. Her cheeks turned pinker.
Once she was in her office she shut the door and took comfort in behind her desk. Perhaps today wouldn't be so bad…
"And she lives!" Loker boosted as he walked into her office, loose papers tipping out of his hands. "Did you have fun yesterday?" He asked as he sat down across from her.
Foster pushed her hair back and rested her head on her hand, her elbows sitting on her desk. "Lightman told you?"
Loker shook his head in his childish manner, his lips pouting ever so slightly, "No, but me and Torres guessed."
Foster looked up, "Guessed what?"
A smirk danced on Loker's lips and something sparkled in his eyes, "You were baked yesterday."
Foster groaned and her head fell to her desk. "How did you guess?" She asked, her voice muffled by her arm and wood.
Loker laughed, "Our collected knowledge led us to a reasonable conclusion."
Foster groaned again and raised her head and allowed her chin to rest on her hands now collapsed on the desk as well. "Am I ever going to live this down?"
Loker bit his lip and shook his head again, "Not a chance."
A/N: I hope that was as fun for you as it was for me! Review please!